Under a Twilight Sky
by CasualCactus
Summary: After a tragic accident involving her hidden icy powers, Elsa Arendelle, heiress to one of the worlds largest companies, runs away from home. Four years later her parents send her former best friend (and lover) Anna Summers to bring her back. mAU Elsanna fluff & angst. May get a little sci-fi in places. Rated M for smut. Cover by Lorelei.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 01 - Just make sure you send me a postcard**

Anna regretted answering her phone as soon as she saw the caller ID. She didn't speak much to her benefactors, but when she did she always managed to stumble over her words and remind them just how much of a klutz she was.

"Miss Summers," the voice on the phone greeted her formally.

"Oh hey, Idu-I mean Mrs Arendelle. How are you? We haven't spoken in like, what, 6 months." _Idiot. Why remind her of that?_ Anna sighed inwardly. And the only way she could make up for it was to throw more words at her. "I mean, its not a bad thing. Wait-I don't mean I don't like talking to you! I really like talking to you-"

"Anna," she was cut off curtly. "Have you spoken to Elsa?"

The question was direct and Anna shivered but whether it was from fear, excitement, anxiety or just because it was going to be one of _those_ conversions she did not know. She closed her eyes threatening to be overwhelmed by the mention of her best friend's name. At least they once were best friends. And even if Elsa had left her behind Anna hadn't forgotten about her. She knew she never would.

"No," Anna's reply was an octave higher than she intended. The silence that followed made her shuffle uncomfortably.

"Mrs Arendelle, I have class like, right now so maybe we could-"

"I am sending you Elsa's address. Her father isn't well and Elsa has been very stubborn. She won't respond to me. She will listen to you."

Anna's breath hitched at the request. Was it even a request?

"What?" The words barely escaped her lips. Elsa had as good as dropped off the face of the Earth. How had they found her? Did they always know where she was? _Why hadn't they mentioned it to me sooner-_

"I've transferred you enough to cover your trains and any extra expenses you incur. Bring our Elsa home, Anna. You're the only one who can."

The call disconnected.

Anna stared at her phone dumbstruck. It beeped a moment later and an email popped up. The subject heading was simply 'Elsa'.

 _Elsa._

Anna wasn't sure if she wanted run five laps around the football pitch in pure elation or whether to throw her phone in the nearest garbage disposal unit. Preferably one which would have an incinerator. A second notification popped up from her bank confirming the transfer of funds. Anna's eyes went wide when she saw the amount of zeros. They couldn't be serious. Then she remembered that the Arendelles were rich and had also funded her entire university course. And most of her recent life. Of course they could afford to drop thousands on her to bring their estranged daughter back home. It certainly didn't feel like a request at all. She was being treated like any member of their staff. She wanted to feel bitter but Anna just couldn't. Despite it all the Arendelles had looked after her in their own way. It wasn't as warm or loving as her own parents but it was something.

 _Without them..._ She forced herself not to dwell on different outcomes.

"Feisty-pants!" The shout broke her from her zombie-like trance. "Come on otherwise you'll be late for chemistry!" Kristoff was dashing across the campus, rucksack slung over one shoulder.

Anna let out a strangled noise still unable to process words. He did a double take.

"Anna Summers, unable to speak?" He walked around her, surveying her carefully. Anna squeaked again, still looking dumbfounded between the phone and Kristoff. He swiped it from her hand.

"Elsa huh? Who is she? A new girlfriend?" And suddenly with that chemistry class was out the window.

"Kristoff I really, really need a drink," she barely said the words before he looped his arm in hers and pulled her along.

"Its what, 2:30? The student bar is open already, lets go," he winked. Anna shook her head with a happy sigh and leaned into him.

The campus was small and the bar crowded even at this hour. It was a total dive but it was what Anna needed. Cheap alcohol and full of so many other drunk bodies that no one cared who she was. There was no judgement like back at school. Losing her parents and being as good as adopted by the Arendelles had been difficult and her classmates hadn't exactly been the most understanding. Especially since the only girl she really cared to hang around with was two years her senior.

 _Elsa._

* * *

A flash of platinum blond and the scent of winter pine cones snapped Anna away from her dreary school lunch.

"Hey look, its the new girl." One girl on Anna's table sneered. The brunette rose to her feet to block the blonde's path.

"So, new girl. How about you sit with us?" The offer would have seemed sincere had the table of girls, Anna aside, not broken into a fit of barely restrained giggles.

The blonde glanced over and Anna caught her brilliant blue eyes. Within them she was overwhelmed with a profound sense of loneliness. Even behind a cold mask she felt as if she could see right into the woman's soul.

With a simple shake of her head the blonde went to step around the brunette.

"Excuse me?" The brunette's tone had taken a darker turn. The blonde simply ignored her and continued on to an empty table.

"Obnoxious nerd."

"She just looks loney," Anna murmured, still entranced by those eyes.

"Seriously Anna you are justtoo adorable. You see the good in everyone." The girls in Anna's group chuckled between themselves.

Anna pulled on her backpack straps in discomfort. They were humouring her and she knew it. She hated how bitchy the girls at school were but what was the alternative? Not fitting in meant a very difficult school life awaited her ahead. She glanced over at the blonde haired girl again. She really did look so lonely.

* * *

Leaving the Arendelles and starting university had given Anna a new lease of life, it was true. Moving here was like taking a breath of fresh air. She finally felt free and perhaps even truly happy for the first time since losing her parents. And she had Kristoff and his brother Sven to thank for that. They were the ones who found her wondering lost around campus unable to decipher a simple map. With a stroke of good fortune Kristoff was on the same course and since that fateful day during freshers they'd been almost inseparable.

Anna took a large swig of her cider.

"So you're telling me your guardians are sending you off across the country, in the middle of classes to pick up their daughter who was your best friend as a kid," Kristoff asked with a frown. It was at that moment Anna realised just how ridiculous the whole thing was.

"Yes." She took another long drink.

"And this girl... You haven't mentioned her before," concern laced his voice.

"No I haven't," Anna sighed so deeply she wished she could sink back and be enveloped by the chair.

"After she walked out on us all no one talked about her. It's... hard. Her parents dealt with it in their way and I did mine... Which involved a whole lot of not talking, which as I'm sure you're aware isn't my strongest suit. And I had a lot going on in my head too dealing with the loss of my own parents," Anna paused to drink again. The alcohol wasn't working quick enough.

"Wow Anna." Kristoff's hand found hers on the table. The touch was sincere and Anna couldn't help but smile.

"I moved in with them after my parents died in the accident. My guardians, Elsa's parents, they are nice people but gods they are strict and proper and well, everything that I am not. After living with them I could see why Elsa wanted out. I thought when we were together that things would be easier. I thought I could help her through her family problems and I selfishly hoped she'd..." But Anna paused unsure of what she was expecting back from Elsa. "I just thought we'd pull through together. But we didn't. She walked out." Anna let out a sigh.

Talking was usually the thing Anna did best. If there was an award for stringing together as many sentences as possible she'd win it hands down. But talking about her parents, Elsa and the Arendelles made her mouth too dry. Even with the cider the words were hard to find.

"And you really haven't heard from this Elsa girl for 4 years?" Kristoff asked in disbelief. Anna shook her head and clutched her drink.

"...I'm afraid." And it hurt her to admit it. "She left me behind Kristoff. I should have gone with her."

"Did she ask you to?" He leaned forward curiously.

Anna looked into his pale blue eyes and shook her head sadly.

"So you never had the choice. You have two weeks until the end of this semester. I really think if you don't go you'll regret it. Screw her parents for a minute-or don't if you like them-my point is don't think about them. If you want to see your friend again just do it."

His words cleared the mist that had settled over her mind. Kristoff was right. If Anna was to go on this mad adventure to find Elsa she'd need to do it for herself. It dawned on her then that she wanted answers too. She _needed_ answers.

"Thanks Kristoff." Anna gave him her biggest and most genuine smile.

"Anytime Feisty-pants," he waved her off with an equally as big grin. "Just make sure you send me a postcard."

* * *

 **A/N: I dropped English as soon as I could at school. So please excuse my complete lack of spelling, grammar and paragraphs. (How does one even paragraph?)**

 **I am British and while I have been deliberately vague about where this story is set, I'll be using British English terminology and influences for the most part.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 02 - I've never met a real person with real sideburns**

The train pulled up and Anna stepped out onto the platform. She was finally here in the city. The city where she'd find Elsa for the first time in 4 years. Her heart was pounding with each step. With just her worn out old panda themed school backpack filled with only the essentials, Anna anxiously pulled at the straps as she walked into the busy city streets.

"Elsa... Will you want to see me?" Anna asked herself out loud as she looked down at Elsa's address on her phone. She had felt so sure when she had packed up and left her accommodation at university but now she was here her stomach was twisting in regret and fear. She clenched her eyes shut as thoughts lingered on Elsa.

* * *

"Come on Anna! Trash that stupid bitch!" The chants from the spectating netball team members were anything but what you'd expect from young ladies to be saying.

Anna tried to zone out of the pressure of her netball trials. She knew being on the team wasn't a guarantee but she had worked hard to keep herself in shape and her skill up.

What she wasn't expecting however was her competition to be a certain blonde haired new student. Elsa, she'd found out her name from the various rumours going around the school was not only the daughter of a rich multimillionaire but barely spoke a word to anyone. She came to school, did her work and went home to her massive mansion every day, by chauffeur no less. At least that's what the rumours said and Anna was inclined to believe them. Due to her stone cold persona and no nonsense attitude students had dubbed her the 'Ice Queen'. Another thing Anna was inclined to believe. The woman had been impossibly strong and unyielding in all of her netball tests so far.

 _How does she still look so damn fabulous?_ Anna asked herself as she couldn't help but stare at Elsa's ragged breathing. Her eyes lingered too long on her sweat soaked uniform. Her chest was rising and falling so quick-

"Anna Summers! You're up!" Anna snapped out of her thoughts and quickly took the ball from Elsa. She caught the blonde's eye for a brief moment and terror overcame her.

 _What if she can read my mind!? I was just looking at her-no stop! Just go out and do this so you can go home._

 _...She probably doesn't even like girls. Hell she doesn't even like people._

Anna held the ball and took a breath. _I'm so going to lose this._ She passed and the group of players assisting her in the exercise caught and defended until Anna had a chance to shoot. She did it ...And missed. Of course she missed. All she could think of was those perfect blue eyes and a uniform so drenched in sweat it should have been illegal to wear it publicly.

"Sorry Miss Summers. Miss Arendelle will be taking your place on the first team." The coach seemed genuinely sorry but Anna was sure Elsa would make a far better addition to the team. Maybe they'd go far this year.

Anna turned and walked over to Elsa.

"Hey, well done." She held her hand out. "Congratulations. You were really good. I'm glad you got in."

Elsa blinked in confusion and Anna was beginning to wonder if this was a mistake. Nobody left someones hand hanging for his long... did they? Was Elsa really such an uncaring girl? Couldn't she see the rest of the team were watching. Anna, in her humiliation was about to withdraw when she felt a cold touch. She looked down surprised to see Elsa shaking her palm.

 _She's just played an hour of netball. How is she so cold?_ The question didn't linger long. Anna was caught completely off guard by her next action.

"Thank you," her voice was softer and lower than Anna expected. It sent a chill down her spine. And judging by the gasps from the rest of the team they were equally as surprised the Ice Queen had spoken. Elsa said no more and turned to leave, leaving Anna standing awestruck.

* * *

Anna took a breath. Focusing her mind, she stepped out to cross the road. Her eyes glanced up briefly to the green flashing man. It was her right of way. She thought nothing more of it. A horn sounded. Anna's foot lost contact with the tarmac and she was yanked backwards. Her braids skimmed the speeding car. Losing her already fragile balance, Anna fell into the arms of the stranger who had saved her life.

"Are you ok?" The man asked, face full of concern. Anna looked up breathlessly.

He is beautiful. Her near death experience was put on hold as she gazed up into his dreamy green eyes. Without conscious thought, her hand grazed against his sideburns.

"Wow... I've never met a real person with real sideburns."

The young man let out a surprised chuckle. "You almost died and all you can think about are my sideburns?"

"I did almost die, didn't I?" Anna pulled herself away from her gorgeous hero and stood independently. "That man should not have jumped a red! Doesn't he know it's illegal? I hope there are traffic cameras and speed cameras to catch him! Maybe I should press charges." She was pacing now.

"Hey, hey slow down. I have a friend in law enforcement. I'll tip him off. In the meantime why don't I get you a drink?" He offered his hand to her like a gentleman. Anna looked him once over again. He certainly was handsome in his waistcoat.

 _A city worker?_ She wondered. _One who clearly doesn't have to keep to a schedule._ She added while accepting his hand.

"Hans Westergard," he introduced himself.

"Anna Summers."

* * *

The drinks tasted amazing, of course. Anna was already onto her third cocktail as Hans told her everything she needed to know about the city. Bumping into him had been a stroke of luck. He had her city guide map on the table and was drawing all over it listing the areas to avoid, the best restaurants, the bus and train routes she'd need. He was like an angel sent to keep her safe in this crazy place of people who thought it was acceptable to jump red lights.

A plate of food and many more drinks later he turned to her with the dreamy gaze that Anna would have fallen for had she been that way inclined. Hell, Anna was beginning to wonder if maybe she did like men as much as she did women. Why limit herself?

"Do you want to exchange numbers?" He asked her hope alight in his emerald eyes.

Anna stared at him dumbly for a good half a minute as her foggy brain tried to process his offer. Of course she wanted to exchange numbers. He was kind, funny and generally a great guy. But something stopped her from answering immediately. This wasn't how she met Kristoff. This felt more... -The penny dropped.

"You think this is a date?"

"Well, isn't it?" He scratched his back with a shy smile.

"Oh-my-god! I am so sorry! I just thought you were being nice. I really am so dense. This is what you get for going to an all-girls school. I have no idea why my parents ever thought that was appropriate-"

"Its fine, really. You have a boyfriend."

Anna paused at his words and looked up to face him squarely.

"Actually I bat for the other team." Her confession seemed to catch him off guard.

"Oh."

"Sorry, again. I've never had many guy friends so I completely miss the signs. In fact I've never had many friends full stop. And I don't really know how I feel about anyone. Life has been pretty complicated. I'm not saying I'd never date a guy. If the perfect guy like you came along it wouldn't be out of the question-oh god I just called you perfect-"

"We could just be friends." Hans put it out there and Anna relaxed into a happy smile.

She took a breath to compose herself before nodding. "That sounds good."

"So I never did ask you why you were in town. Or where you're staying." Hans took another sip of his cocktail.

"That's where it gets kind of complicated. An old friend from school moved here and I really wanted to see her again but she doesn't know I'm coming and I think she will totally freak out." The fear and anxiety were flooding back. What if Elsa shut her out completely? What if Elsa had found someone else?

"An old friend huh?"

Anna hung her head in shame. Was she really that obvious? She didn't even need to answer herself. She already knew.

"Alright, an old flame. God that sounds even worse doesn't it? She can't really be an ex. Its not like we ever dated. And it was more than a one night stand. Hans, is your life this complicated?"

Hans chuckled. "Right now? Definitely not."

Anna placed her head on the table to try to think without the room spinning. The alcohol was really starting to kick in.

"I think I better get you to your hotel. Where did you say you were staying?" His voice was laced with concern.

Anna felt a warm touch on her arm. It made its way up to her hair. She always loved it when Elsa played with her hair-Anna sat bolt upright realising it was Hans opposite her and not Elsa. Gods her mind was playing cruel tricks on her.

"I'm staying here." Anna held up her phone to show Hans an address. His face took on a deep frown.

"Are you sure?" He double checked.

"One hundred percent." Anna didn't catch his lingering look of caution. She was too busy finishing up her cocktail. A mistake, she was certain. But Elsa was in her mind now and she needed all of the Dutch courage she could manage. Her eyes hovered over the menu as she considered ordering one more for luck.

"I'll have a cab take you there." Hans was already on his feet and helping Anna up. She fell into him and leaned there for a long moment. She caught the scent of his cologne and... bleach? She couldn't be sure. Whatever it was it was clinical.

Hans supported her out onto the street and into the waiting car. If Anna had, had her wits about her she may have noticed the car had tinted windows and a customised number plate. If she had perhaps had less cocktails she may have noticed Hans shake hands with the driver and hand over the address. And just maybe if her head wasn't so full of fretting about Elsa she may have noticed Hans taking slightly too long with her phone before handing it back.

Anna leaned against him throughout the silent journey, her head clouded by both the buzz of alcohol and the anxiety of seeing Elsa again. Her head was so full of thoughts she barely noticed the car pull up in what Hans had called the shady side of town. He was insistent when he offered to escort Anna up to the apartment but Anna had flat out refused with more ferocity than she had intended. All of that stress from seeing Elsa again was really getting to her.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for bringing me here and for paying for the cab... and my drinks. I really enjoyed this evening. I'll keep in touch," she promised.

Hans leaned over and took her hand. He wanted to say more, it was obvious, but after some deliberation he simply kissed her cheek.

Anna felt an unexpected thrill. Maybe there was something in this whole dating a man thing after all... or maybe she had, had too much to drink and couldn't think of anyone but Elsa.

"Call me if anything happens." He told her seriously and she nodded before saying goodbye.

 _Just what am I doing?_

The block of flats towered above Anna. She took a deep breath as she made her way up to the number designated in Mrs Arendelle's email. Once at the door it took Anna a solid 20 minutes to pluck up the courage to knock. She stepped forward, fist clenched and ready to tap. The door opened mid-knock.

" _Anna?_ "

Anna almost fainted. Standing before her was her blonde haired best friend. Hair tied back in a messy braid and wearing the most casual clothes she'd ever seen Elsa in: jogging bottoms and an oversized t-shirt. The look of surprise on her face flashed to one of annoyance. That mask was firmly back in place.

"They sent you, didn't they." It was a statement, not a question.

Anna meekly nodded. She couldn't speak. She could barely move. All of her emotions warred inside of her. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to do. But in the end she could do nothing but stare.

"I'd rather do this in here than out in the hall."

Anna blinked. She didn't believe Elsa would even allow her in but to her surprise the blonde stepped aside.

Anna jumped at the opportunity to enter, not caring how desperate it looked. She _was_ desperate.

Elsa closed the door behind her, clicking several locks in place. As she turned the pair came face to face properly for the first time in 4 years. Anna searched her royal blue eyes for any sign of loneliness or regret. Her heart simultaneously fluttered and sank when she realised both were abundant. Elsa still couldn't shut herself away completely. At least not from Anna. Dropping her bag in the process, she reached out and touched her friend's arm. Without any words, Anna broke down in tears.

* * *

 **A/N: I have legit not played netball since I was in school, mainly primary school so this is probably entirely inaccurate (under 11 for my international readers - I realise that most of you are international since discovering my stats page!).**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 03 - Fine. Whatever. Sleep on my couch**

Anna watched Elsa from afar for a week. She just couldn't find the nerve to walk up to her. Not only had she shot down every other potential bully or friend in the school but Anna would likely be outcast from her social circle for even attempting it.

"Not that my current group of friends are really that great. Life is so complicated as a kid." She took a deep sigh as she tugged a kayak along the jetty. She didn't know why she had volunteered to clean the boathouse. She didn't even participate in any water sports but when her form tutor had said Mr Jefferies had broken his arm she was he only one stupid enough to offer. It wasn't like she had an after school club to go to anymore. All of the other clubs first teams were full and she just didn't want to be around those girls in the netball team after failing.

"Right, one down. One more to go." Anna turned and walked back towards the water's edge.

"Here she is, Miss Goodie Two-Shoes making the rest of us look bad again." A woman in netball uniform marched up to Anna. A small gang of other girls trailed behind her.

"You do realise the rest of the class have to help out next week because you volunteered for this," her tone was scathing as she gestured around to boathouse. Anna subconsciously took a step back.

"I was just trying to help-"

"Oh shut up. No one is that selfless. You're a pathetic little brat who is always sucking up to the teachers."

Anna clenched a fist as she kept her emotions at bay. They were all giving her that look of disdain. These were supposed to be her friends.

 _Am I really so naive?_ She asked herself weakly.

"Wow, Anna Summers has nothing to say?" The brunette's comment was laced with sarcasm. Anna took another step back. The girls advanced.

"Come on Anna. Speak up!" She pushed her. Anna bit her lip and clenched her fists.

 _I don't want a confrontation. Please leave me alone._ She silently begged. The brunette took hold of Anna's shirt and held her back over the lakes edge.

"No-" Anna cried out as her feet desperately held onto the jetty.

"Shall I drop her?" She asked the small gaggle of followers who chuckled in response.

* * *

Elsa stood as still as a statue as Anna sobbed on her. Shock made way to guilt.

 _My parents caused this. No. I caused this._ She clenched her fists.

She couldn't argue with Anna in this state. The strong scent of alcohol filled her lungs. Anna had been drinking. Elsa wanted to chastise her but she forced herself to stop and think. They had been apart for four years. Anna was no longer a child, not that she ever was in Elsa's eyes. The woman before her was legally allowed to do what she wanted and Elsa had no right to ask anything of her, even if she felt it was for her own good. Who had she even been drinking with? The thought didn't last long as she tentatively put an arm around Anna and walked her to the couch. She pulled away both in hesitation and haste, afraid the redhead might shatter from the loss of contact but Anna sat straight. Hurt, perhaps even angry, but not broken.

Once in the open plan kitchen, Elsa, back turned to Anna, leaned her hands down on the counter and breathed. Hearing her friend sobbing behind her did nothing for her steely resolve. She had shut Anna out and that was that. Anna was strong. She'd recover and find someone else. A new friend. A new lover. She gripped her fists tight as she thought of things she had long denied. The idea of Anna moving on broke her heart but seeing her friend like this was just as painful.

Finally, after an agonising five minutes Elsa plucked a glass from the cupboard, topped it up with tap water and walked back over to Anna.

"You need to sober up." It was an order.

Elsa placed the glass down on the coffee table before Anna and deliberately sat across in the arm chair giving the pair some distance.

They both stayed silent for an impossibly long time. Elsa found herself watching Anna intently while the redhead was doing anything she could to avoid that icy gaze.

 _Why are we like this?_ Elsa sighed inwardly, already knowing the answer as she searched Anna for every small detail of change. Her wild and free hair was a fraction shorter but still controlled within those two braids. Even in the height of winter there were so many of those adorable freckles sprinkled across her nose and cheeks. Her arms too were peppered. She absently wondered if it was only the sun-kissed areas of Anna's body where the freckles multiplied. She shook her head to stop that line of thought.

 _I can't do this._ Elsa forced herself to look away.

"You shouldn't have come here. My parents never should have put you in this position."

"Your father is critically ill. You might never see him again." Anna found both her voice and her confidence the moment Elsa had spoken.

"I know. Mother has informed me. Several times."

"Elsa don't you get it? If you don't go you might never see him again! I know you hate him. I know he has been strict and cold but one day you'll sit back and regret this. You'll wish you had one more chance to say-" Anna's voice cracked and all resolve to continue evaporated under a wave of tears. Elsa was certain her heart broke at the very same moment.

Guilt and shame threatened to drown her. She did the only thing she could think of in her blind panic: coldly deny it all.

"This is different. I won't be going home. I'm sorry your trip here was wasted." Elsa coldly rose to her feet. "I'm taking you back to your hotel."

"I'm not booked into a hotel," Anna said, arms crossed in defiance.

"What?"

"I'm not leaving until you come home. You owe your parents answers. You owe me answers." Anna promptly flopped to her side on the sofa. Elsa stiffened.

"You are behaving like a child." Her voice was sharper than intended.

"You keep treating me like a child!" Anna retorted. It was such a childish comeback that Elsa would have been inclined to believe it if she wasn't already certain the girl-no woman opposite her was 19. Elsa held the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"Fine. Whatever. Sleep on my couch." She gave in exasperated. She was past caring. Elsa stood up and stomped straight past Anna. She forced herself not to hesitate or even look her in the eye. One look into those puppy dog eyes would ruin her steely resolve.

 _Crap._ Elsa moaned inwardly after slamming the door to her bedroom shut. She wasn't past caring at all. She was caring too much like always. _Conceal. Don't feel._ She repeated in her mind as she slid down the door. She didn't need to open her eyes to know it wasn't working.

As the storm assaulted her bedroom she wiped frozen tears from her eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd had a breakdown in her apartment. And these incidents were the sole reason she kept few ornaments or clutter out on show. Her bare and clinical room served its purpose: not to be completely ruined during one of her... _incidents._ Yes, that's what her father always used to call them. _Incidents._ Even the word made her shudder. How could her parents request this of her now? How could they send Anna to her knowing full well what it would do? She choked out a bitter sound. _Of course they'd send Anna. They know you can't refuse her._ The idea of them using Anna like that enraged her. _And why, knowing full well what their purpose was did you let Anna into your apartment? Because she'd have slept on the street outside until you'd let her in? Because you really, really wanted to see her despite how much of a monster you are? Dammit Elsa why are you so selfish!?_ She almost screamed the words. Elsa's arms fell to the floor in defeat and at that moment she gave up trying to suppress the storm. Sometimes she could control it. Other times it was easier to ride it out like a wave. This was one of those times.

* * *

Elsa had been watching the scene unfold for several minutes. She wasn't sure why she paused on her way to the car park, but something about the way the girls ganged up on Anna by the lake made her blood boil. She had been firmly instructed by her father to avoid any confrontations or arguments. It was in fact a condition upon attending this school. And Elsa was about to risk throwing away that small slither of real life and freedom for a girl she barely knew. She was marching forward before her mind could catch up.

"Get your hands off of her," her tone was sharp and unyielding which was supplemented by the most cold and furious face she could make. This was hardly a challenge for Elsa because for reasons she didn't yet understand she was seething with anger.

The girls turned in surprise but it quickly shifted to amusement.

"The Ice Queen herself has come to save you." The brunette turned back to Anna, eyes alight with mirth.

"I swear to god if you drop her-"

"You'll what? Freeze us to death?" One girl piped up, looking very smug that she'd come up with the comment.

 _If only you knew._ Elsa clenched her fist as she felt a storm brewing. For the first time ever in her life Elsa was unafraid of the consequences. She didn't know it yet, but something about the vulnerable and honest redhead made her feel so alive and free. She'd be damned if she let these bullies get away with harming her.

"Do not test me," Elsa warned, eyes flashing as she strode forward. The girls on the jetty moved away as she neared. The only one who stood her ground was the brunette. They exchanged threatening glances before the brunette's face broke into a self satisfied smile.

"Sorry-not-sorry." At her words she released Anna who tumbled backwards into the rapidly chilling water.

Elsa lost it. She ran forward and punched the brunette square in the nose. The girl went cleanly to the ground with a thud. Elsa considered kicking her into the lake too but it was cold out now. Really cold. She didn't want to have to be the one to take her to hospital. And as much as the brunette had pissed her off she didn't want the girl to die. Anna on the other hand...

"Anna," she let out a breath as she reached down to pull the redhead out. Anna coughed as she caught her breath.

"Gods I think I swallowed lake water. Does that mean I'll turn into a frog? Or is that only pond water?"

"I don't think swallowing any water will turn you into a frog." Elsa replied seriously with a frown as she checked Anna over. She barely noticed as the netball squad girls ran away. She phased out their irritating high pitched voices and focused solely on Anna.

Her uniform was soaked through and clung to her small frame. Every bone line and curve was highlighted clear as day. Elsa followed her collarbone, paused momentarily at her chest to check her breathing. When she was certain the redhead didn't have water in her lungs she continued down to her hips and finally her legs. She knew she had allowed her eyes to drink up far more than was acceptable but Anna was laying there so patiently and so trustingly.

"So doctor, am I going to die? Or will I turn into a frog?"

Elsa snorted out laughter which in turn caused Anna to laugh. "Elsa Arendelle, the famous Ice Queen of the school snorts!" But as soon as Anna said it she realised it was a mistake because she quickly threw out a hundred apologies. "I am so sorry! You just saved me and here I am making fun out of you. I really am a terrible excuse for a human being. You should have just left them to throw me in. After all I ended up in the lake anyway-" Elsa found the only way she could make Anna stop talking was to press her finger against her lips.

"Hush." It was a command and to her delight Anna obeyed. "You're freezing. I'm taking you home before you catch a cold." Elsa hooked her arms under Anna and in one swift movement heaved her up. Anna let out a gasp of surprise.

"It's ok, I've got you," Elsa reassured her gently.

It took no more than a few minutes to reach the car park. Kai stood by the car on his phone but the moment he saw Elsa he hung up.

"Miss Arendelle. You're late," his tone told her all she needed to know.

"I'm sorry Kai. I was had some trouble down at the lake and this young lady fell in. I'd like to take her home," Elsa's voice changed to something far more formal.

"Your father is going to be displeased. You are already late for dinner."

"I am aware of that but I can't in good conscious just leave her here," Elsa protested. Kai looked down at Anna who was shivering in Elsa's arms and finally nodded.

"It does seem like exceptional circumstances," he relented.

Elsa wasted no time in placing the redhead into the backseat. She reached over, her hand brushing across Anna's body as she put her seatbelt on. She glanced up, catching Anna's teal eyes, suddenly realising how close their faces were. Elsa was certain she could feel her cheeks heating. Wordlessly, she took off her blazer covered it over Anna.

 _What is it about this girl?_ Elsa took a moment once outside the car to get her thoughts in order. After no more than a half a minute she got in the opposite side. She sat back and gazed straight ahead. She could see Anna examining every little detail like an excited child. She supposed the girl had never been a passenger in such a luxurious car before. She silently approved of Kai turning on the heated seats. It was a feature Elsa strongly disliked but Kai had correctly assumed this trip was for Anna's comfort, not her own.

After a seemingly endless 20 minute drive they reached the address Anna had given them.

"You live in an apartment building, even out here?" Elsa asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. It kind of sucks, a garden would be amazing but it's big enough for me and my parents. There are a lot of worse places we could be." Anna said bashfully as she reached for the car door.

"So erm, thanks for everything and I'll see you at school tomorrow-"

"Wait," Elsa grabbed her arm in an icy cold grip. "I'll take you upstairs. I want to make sure you get home safely." She met Anna's teal gaze and held it. They had a silent tug of war for a minute before Anna relented.

"It's really stuffy. And messy. And my parents are going to freak when they see me soaking wet." Anna talked, and talked, and talked as they left the car, walked through the entrance and up several flights of stairs.

Elsa however took her time to look around and examine everything. This had been her first introduction to council state apartments and, she realised, her first introduction to a typical working family who weren't blessed with a multimillion pound inheritance. She needed to keep herself humble although in truth she had no idea how to react. What is normal for these people?

Anna used her key to unlock the door to her flat. Before she had even taken a step inside her mother was upon her, hugging and sobbing over her like she'd shown up after a week, not a mere few hours.

"Oh my baby I was so worried! We tried calling you but your phone went to voicemail. Why are you wet? What happened?" Her mother was fawning over her. Elsa couldn't help but be frozen by the public display of emotion and affection. It was so... unreal.

"Sorry for worrying you, mum. The netball girls pushed me into the lake. I think my phone broke. But Elsa scared them away and brought me home," Anna turned to introduce Elsa.

"Mrs Summ-" But Elsa was swiftly cut off as Anna's mother embraced Elsa. Elsa stood stiffly. She lifted her arms an inch, and then lowered them unsure of the protocol when meeting a classmate's mother.

"Thank you so much for bringing my baby back safe and sound. Please come in, have a drink." Anna's mother practically pushed Elsa into the flat.

"Mum, Elsa has someone waiting in the car-"

"Anna put on some dry clothes before you freeze to death. Your friend will still be here when you're done."

Anna nodded and mouthed Elsa an 'I'm sorry' before disappearing down the hall.

"Now, Elsa was it? Please take a seat. Do you like tea or coffee?" She waved Elsa into the kitchen. Elsa, completely at a loss as she watched Anna abandon her, took a seat at a small circular table.

"Coffee, please," She found her voice. The whole experience was overwhelming. All the confidence she had to make sure Anna got home safely had been replaced with anxiety. _Conceal. Don't feel._ She said inwardly as she focused on her hands.

"Thank you for sticking up for my little girl. She is such a kind and honest child and because of that people take advantage of her," Mrs Summers explained as she stirred the instant coffee into the hot water. Elsa held back a grimace. When she had requested coffee she had expected proper ground coffee. She had to silently remind herself that not every home was like her own and judging by the size and decor of the apartment she realised that the Summers simply couldn't afford the finer luxuries she was accustomed to.

"She is certainly... energetic," Elsa struggled to find the right word.

"You seem like a nice girl." Mrs Summer's started as she set the two mugs down on the table. Elsa could tell the woman was watching her intently as Elsa picked the cup and sipped. Her expression did not betray her thoughts of the coffee.

"I know it isn't fair of me to ask, but would you look out for Anna at school for me? I really worry about her."

Elsa felt a pang of guilt for being unable to offer the woman the assurances she wanted. Elsa was only just about taking care of herself. How could she take care of someone else too?

"I'm sorry Mrs Summers, but I will not make a promise I cannot keep. I am two years Anna's senior. I don't even know if I'll do my A-levels here."

"I understand. A mother has to try though." She gave Elsa one of Anna's warm and bright smiles.

Anna skidded into the kitchen now in a pair of skinny jeans and a loose sweater, her red hair flying behind her in two messy braids.

"Mum have you really kept Elsa here this long? Her chauffeur is still sitting downstairs. A car like that in this estate will probably be attacked-"

"Your area is dangerous?" Elsa snapped up but her concern was squarely on Anna.

"Well not really. Ok a little. We've had some knife crime but that's like everywhere these days. I'm sure your chauffeur and car is ok-" Anna assured her and Elsa recognised the beginning of her ramblings. If she had not been so focused on holding her mask in place she would have smiled.

"You need not worry about me. Kai has military level training," Elsa paused as her phone rang. She momentarily froze as she read he caller ID. _Shit._

"Excuse me," she politely said before answering the call.

"Father," she greeted him formally.

"I am severely disappointed in you. I specifically told you to be home by 6:30 for dinner. You know how important this is. Lady Tremaine and her family are here."

Elsa closed her eyes to hide her shame. "Forgive me father, I'll be home shortly."

"I've already told them you are unwell. Kai will escort you straight to you room upon your return. There will be no more of these games, Elsa. You are to come straight home every day, do you understand?"

"I understand, father," Elsa's voice betrayed no emotion. She tucked the phone back into her pocket. Without as much as a breath she looked up to Anna and her mother. "Thank you for the coffee Mrs Summers but now I have to get home." Elsa said formally, rising to her feet.

"Anytime. It was a pleasure to meet you, Elsa. Anna, go see your friend out." Her mother pushed her daughter towards Elsa. Anna stumbled forward awkwardly.

"Right, this way." The redhead beckoned Elsa to follow her to the door.

"Thank you again for your hospitality. Make sure you take a warm bath. I don't want you to catch a cold," Elsa said as she followed Anna to the front door. "I'll see you at school tomorrow. Have a nice evening," Elsa felt stiff as she said the parting words. At this moment she wished she could express herself better. She could tell Anna wanted to say something but when the words didn't follow she gave the redhead a simple nod and headed out.

* * *

Anna stood breathlessly as she watched Elsa leave. Her heart and mind were racing. Not only had the Ice Queen saved her from the lake, she had personally escorted her home and had coffee with her mother. What in the world was happening? She wished she could have said something before the blonde left but what was there to say?

"So..." Anna's mother let her sentence hang as Anna numbly walked back into the kitchen. "She was cute."

"Mother please don't," Anna slumped back into a chair, her head in her hands. "I don't even know how to talk to her. She's so proper. It feels like she's on a pedestal too high for me to reach. Does that sound stupid? It sounds stupid."

"No, it doesn't sound stupid." Anna's mother put her arm around her daughter supportively.

"You overheard her father on the phone too right? He sounded awful. No wonder she's so uptight at school. She has no friends at all. I really want to be her friend." Anna leaned into her mother's embrace.

"Then ask her."

Anna blinked. It was so obvious. All she had to do was walk up to Elsa and talk to her. And Anna's strongest suit was talking. "You're right." She nodded in a renewed resolve. "I'll ask her tomorrow."

* * *

Elsa's head thunked against a chest of drawers. She snapped awake, eyes glaring around the room. It was her bedroom. Good. It was in a mostly ok condition, aside from being a bit damp from the melting snow and ice. Not too bad. She was still fully clothed. Not so good.

She stiffly pulled herself to her feet and kicked her shoes off. The digital display of her bedside clock flashed 03:38. After throwing the majority of her clothes off she threw herself head first onto the bed and landed like a pancake.

 _Ugh damp._ And gods her back ached. Why had sleeping in front of the door been such a good idea-and then it hit her. _Anna_. Anna was still here. Wasn't she? Maybe she had gone home. One peek, that's all she'd need.

Elsa scrambled to her feet and again and lightly tiptoed over to the door. She placed her eye against the keyhole. She could see nothing. She resorted to checking under the door. Lights were still on. Sitting back for a moment, Elsa took a deep breath. She'd need to go back out there. She flexed her hands. _Conceal, don't feel_. She whispered in her mind as she forced herself to relax. Who was she kidding? She was anything but relaxed. But this was what her father taught her and despite their disagreements she used it every damn time (with varying success). It didn't matter. It wasn't like she had any better options right now.

 _I could not go out at all... Stop being a chicken Elsa and get out there!_ The force of her resolve made her burst from the room like it had caught fire. Standing frozen in just her underwear, she looked down to see Anna lying on the sofa exactly where she had left her. Elsa's heart melted at her peaceful face. Without conscious thought, Elsa took silent steps back into her bedroom and opened her wardrobe to find a blanket. If her duvet hadn't been soaked she'd have grabbed that, but for now the blanket had to suffice. She walked it back to Anna and with care, placed it over her. She even turned the heating up a few degrees, justifying that it would help thaw her bedroom out quicker. It had absolutely nothing to do with the gorgeous redhead splayed out across her couch looking completely adorable as she drooled. Her untamed hair was already poking out at impossible angles. Elsa was close enough now. Close enough to touch those curls. She bit her lip and sat back against the coffee table.

"Anna." The noise was barely audible. "You are too good, too pure, for me." Elsa felt the tears in her eyes again but there was no storm this time. She sat with a fractured heart and watched her closest and most beloved friend in this world sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Against my better judgement I've posted this chapter. I was going to hold off for longer until I had more worked out but to hell with that. Since starting this story well over a month ago I've learnt I definitely do not write in order, I write whatever scene pops into my head and fly with it. I have so much completed but I need to join it all up. That means ironing out some inconsistencies and getting Elsa's mental state on the right wavelength between chapters. I've also learnt that writing takes so much damn time. Updates will be slow. I might repost the first three chapters once I've compiled more later but for anyone actually following this know that I'm here and working on this with all of my free time.**

 **Also I really hope the flicking between past and present isn't too jarring because there is plenty more of that to come.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 04 - Your pancake is getting cold**

"I heard a lot of noise from your room last night," Anna put it ever so not-delicately as Elsa cooked breakfast.

 _Does she know?_ Elsa froze but regained her composure. She took a fleeting glance at Anna checking if she had noticed. She didn't seem to. She was too busy trying to complete the puzzles on the back of the children's cereal box.

"My shower is broken." The excuse was lame even as she said it. Regardless, she pressed on. "It makes a lot of noise when I... use the cold water a lot." _Even more lame._

"Must have been a long shower. You know my best friend's friend is a plumber. I could call him. I mean I don't know him personally but from what Kristoff says he is really good. And he won't charge a lot. Probably. If I tell him I'm a friend of a friend he'd give me-no you a good rate. A friend of a friend's friend."

She was rambling. Dammit Elsa loved it when she rambled.

 _Stop thinking Elsa!_ She chided herself as she flipped the pancake. She put her sole attention back to breakfast before she did something embarrassing like get the pancake stuck to the ceiling. She instantly regretted that train of thought. She'd done that with Anna once. And now all she could think about were those times- _Elsa control yourself!_ Straightening she turned and stiffly served Anna the pancake.

A fragile peace had fallen over the two girls since they had awoken. They were both in denial over the events of last night, perhaps even the events of the past four years. Elsa wanted to argue. She wanted to push Anna away, but seeing her happy and bubbly, the two of them talking as if they were teenagers again, it was too much. Elsa wasn't strong enough to fight it. She had missed it too much. She had missed Anna too much. Knowing it could only end in heartbreak, she pushed everything aside and pretended just for a day that nothing had happened.

"Are you sure you can manage both pancakes and cereal with a hangover?" She asked unconvinced.

"That sounds like a challenge, Miss Arendelle," Anna turned to her, eyes alight with mischief.

"Well Miss Summers I wouldn't want you to throw up over my apartment. We both know I'd be cleaning it up," Elsa did not back down from the staring match that had started. And it was lasting an awkwardly long time. Elsa was doing all she could to hold her ice queen mask in place but it was difficult when gazing into those teal eyes. _Those perfect teal eyes..._ "Your pancake is getting cold," Elsa finally said moments before she felt she was going to falter and Anna squeaked. She broke her gaze and like a madwoman squirted syrup all over it before stuffing her face. It was quite a sight to behold.

"I win!" Anna declared victory as she slammed her knife and fork down. Then her stomach made a noise and Anna's face turned green. Elsa let out a laugh as the redhead rushed from her seat in such a panic her chair fell over. She skidded into the bathroom and threw up.

"You poisoned them! Sabotage!" She called back to Elsa who was, for the first time in four years now howling with laughter.

She had missed this. She had missed Anna; the way she talked too much, her awkward charm, the way she could light up a room with her presence. The laughter faded as quickly as it came as reality crushed her. _End it before you break both of your hearts. Again._ She closed her eyes to calm herself. She needed to keep it together just for today.

Anna crawled out of the bathroom a good five minutes later. She slumped down at the table and sipped her water.

"Don't even say it," She groaned, her head on the hard surface, one arm around her fragile stomach.

"What? I told you so?" Elsa asked lightly, relishing in satisfaction of being right. Anna groaned even more loudly in response. Elsa leaned back against the kitchen counter and watched the redhead, unable to hide the small smile. It really was so good to see her again.

The calm was welcome. Just them, alone, together.

"Elsa. I've just realised... If you were showering last night how'd you get into the bathroom? You didn't leave your room."

 _Crap, crap, crap._ Elsa couldn't explain it. She felt the frost on the kitchen counter where her hand rested. She needed to think quickly.

"Elsa-" Anna began again and Elsa, in her blind panic opened her lips to yell out pathetic and angry excuses. "-It's ok. You don't need to explain." She was silenced. Anna smiled her genuine and happy smile and in that moment Elsa truly believed Anna's words. The frost had thawed. _How does she always know how to handle me?_

The vibrations of Elsa's phone tore her back to reality.

"Shit, I'm going to be late for work," she grumbled as she grabbed her handbag. It then occurred to her that she had no idea what Anna was doing. The girl had helped herself to one of Elsa's brighter dresses this morning. One that Elsa didn't even remember buying and had never worn herself. She could not help but think the white and yellow spotted dress suited Anna far more than than her. The little minx had even stolen a pair of her shoes.

"Earth to Elsa." Anna waved her hand in front of the blonde's face.

Elsa blinked. "What?"

"I asked you if you if I could see where you work?" Anna was stood in all of her adorable glory, clutching her handbag-another item of stolen property-anxiously. Her eyes flickered from Elsa's to the floor and then back. Elsa wanted to shout no. She wanted to scream it from the rooftops. She needed space to think. Space to think up a battle plan. Space-"Yes," Elsa's voice even surprised herself. Anna leapt up and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She exclaimed in glee. Elsa stood shell shocked at her traitorous voice. This was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

* * *

"So erm, thanks again for saving my life yesterday. It turns out I don't have any friends anymore after your spectacular fist of doom-no that's not quite true. I never had any friends to begin with." Anna took a deep breath as she sat opposite the blonde in the school canteen. "So I was thinking. Maybe we could be friends." She didn't look Elsa in the eye immediately. But when there was only silence Anna braced herself for rejection. She slowly looked up, hands gripping her tray ready to flee. She met Elsa's royal blue eyes and an undeniable look of bewilderment.

"Elsa?" She asked, unsure if the blonde was even registering what she had said.

"...Yes," the words barely escaped Elsa's lips. "Yes I would like be friends."

Anna's face lit up in shocked delight. "Really? I mean, ahem," She cleared her throat. "Great!"

Anna chatted away in nervous excitement, unable to hold back the tsunami of words. Elsa listened attentively and patiently. As they talked, or more accurately as Anna talked, the netball brunette stomped up to the table.

Anna would have burst out laughing if she hadn't been so paralysed by the girl's dark expression. Behind the ridiculous cotton bandage strapped to her nose she promised revenge.

"Here she is! She punched me in the face." Her finger pointed squarely at Elsa. Anna felt a cold dread as she caught the irritation in her new friend's face.

"Is this true Elsa?" It was the headmaster.

Anna panicked. Elsa had been defending her. She was responsible. She couldn't let this happen. "No-I mean it was me-it was my fault-"

"Yes, I did," Elsa rose to meet the headmaster with no remorse, cutting Anna clearly off.

"I will see you in detention and I will be informing your parents. Physical violence is not acceptable at this school. I suggest you reread the school values, Miss Arendelle if you wish to remain here," his tone was sharp and it reduced the canteen to silence.

Anna wanted to reach out and yell that it was her fault. She wanted to tell the headmaster how the netball team was bullying her. How Elsa had saved her. How none of this was her fault.

Her mouth was dry and no words escaped.

To her credit, Elsa did not falter under the intensity. She simply nodded to the headmaster and took her seat again. The sound of footsteps echoed. The buzz of the canteen roared up as soon as the doors closed behind the headmaster.

The pair ignored the smug looks from the brunette as she took her seat across the hall.

"I'm so sorry," Anna whispered in guilt. "I should have stuck up for you. I'm just not brave enough." She clenched her can of soda until it crumpled.

"It's fine." There was a pause. "Anna, really." Elsa reached over and placed her cool hand on Anna's. "It's better you don't say anything. Don't antagonise those girls."

Anna relaxed. _She doesn't even look fazed._

"Besides, I lost my cool. I shouldn't have retaliated. I just couldn't stop myself."

Anna looked down to the blonde's hand still lingering on her own. Her cheeks heated.

"Thanks. For both saving me and facing detention," Anna mumbled quickly. She knew at that moment she should have withdrawn her hand. But she couldn't. Elsa's touch was so cold but also so warm. How did that even work?

"...What will your father say?" The question was enough to make Elsa clam up. The cool touch was sharply withdrawn and Anna was left wishing she hadn't brought the subject up. Elsa's mask had slipped and it told her all she needed to know.

"He will recover from it," the answer was guarded and evasive.

Anna wasn't buying it.

"I have a plan to save you." Anna leaned across the table as a spark of inspiration hit her. "But I'll need your help."

* * *

"Anna, I'm not sure about this." Elsa rarely showed her anxiety so openly but this was one of those occasions. What Anna was suggesting was, quite simply, insane.

"Trust me, Elsa. I did this once with the netball squad and it worked like a dream."

Anna would never know how much her voice soothed her nerves.

"You mean they made you do this," Elsa muttered, overcome with bitterness. The more she'd heard about Anna's time with the netball team the more she wished she had kicked the brunette into the lake when she had the chance. Heaven forbid that opportunity arose again. She'd be getting more than just detention.

"Just make a fuss in the reception. I'll take care of the rest, I promise." Anna winked.

Elsa let out an exasperated sigh. She handed the redhead her mobile phone and the pair went their separate ways.

Elsa greeted the school receptionist with a curt nod. Her plan was distraction, something she certainly did not excel at. Blending in and staying hidden was her forte. She considered whipping up a freak storm in the school grounds but that's be something her father really would hear about. The consequences of that would certainly be far greater than punching an annoying school girl in the face.

* * *

"Can I help you Miss Arendelle?" The lady asked bored. She wanted this conversation as much as Elsa did.

"I am concerned about the quality of the lessons I am receiving for English and science." Elsa had no idea where she was going with this, but now she had chosen the entitled rich kid attitude she stuck with it. "When my father enrolled me here it was promised there would be adequate facilities and materials. The books provided are two editions out of date." She knew it was ridiculous. How much really changed in the edition of a textbook? "The science labs are, quite frankly a disgrace. My father gives this school significant funding."

The receptionist was on her feet now, realising that upsetting the daughter of one of their top sponsors would not be positive for her career development. She wasn't paid enough for this.

"Allow me to find the headmaster," she got up and rushed away. She returned after a few minutes with the headmaster. Leaving them to it, she slipped away for a swift tea break.

"Miss Arendelle-"

"My grades have slipped in both English and science," Elsa began her rant before the headmaster could take her into his office.

Catching a flash of red in her peripheral vision, Elsa didn't even pause for breath.

 _Channel your inner Anna._ She psyched herself up.

"I have been reading the school policies and values very closely and you are failing on several points." She went on endlessly about the quality of the facilities, the expectations and, several times, mentioning the fact her father funds the school. The headmaster looked completely exasperated.

"Miss Arendelle I will discuss your concerns with your father."

Elsa was about to interrupt him and continue her ranting when her eye caught the flash of red escaping his office.

"That will be adequate. Thank you for your time." And with that Elsa sharply turned on her heel leaving the bewildered man to wonder what the hell had just happened.

* * *

Breaking into the headmaster's office had been a breeze. Anna slipped the keys from her pocket and unlocked the filing cabinet. How the netball team had gotten a hold of these keys she had no idea but she had never returned them after they dared her to break in last time.

She ignored the pounding blood in her ears and focused on finding Elsa's file.

"Goddammit where is it?" she grumbled as she flicked through what felt like hundreds. She let out a squeak of victory as she finally laid her fingers on it: Elsa Arendelle.

An unsurprisingly thin file for a new student, Anna opened it right up and rushed to amend the emergency telephone number listed. She pulled out Elsa's phone to make sure she had it right.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of her address. She knew she shouldn't be snooping through her friend's personal information but she couldn't help herself. Elsa was an only child. Her birthday was 22nd December. _A winter child. It suits her._ She couldn't help but think of her cold hands again.

She made a mental note of the address. She'd Google that later on.

With a smirk of great satisfaction, she returned the file and locked the cabinet up.

Anna slipped out of the office, giving Elsa a thumbs up behind the headmaster before sneaking off down the hall.

* * *

"What if he calls while I am in class?"

Elsa and Anna sat staring at the mobile phone on the school fields. They only had 10 minutes left of lunch.

Elsa fidgeted uncomfortably. When Anna had suggested this it sounded thrilling and dangerous. Now it just felt stupid. There was no way they could get away with it. What if the headmaster realised? What if he then told her father? Life wouldn't be worth living. Not only that, if they found out Anna was involved what would happen to her? Putting Anna at risk was a mistake. Why had she let the redhead talk her into something so reckless?

"You are such a glass half empty person. Have some faith," Anna was undeterred.

 _How is she so optimistic?_ A seemingly endless silence followed.

The phone buzzed.

"Is it him?" Elsa was almost on Anna's lap as she answered.

"Arendelle Residence," Anna put on her best posh accent. "This is Mrs Arendelle speaking. "No my husband is not available."

Elsa was practically on top of Anna as she spoke. She pressed her ear close to the phone so she could eavesdrop on the conversation. Never in her life had she felt so exhilarated.

"I see. That sounds most unlike my daughter. What did the other girl do to provoke her? Nothing? I find that difficult to believe. Rest assured she will be disciplined. Detention? No that won't be necessary. Sitting in a classroom after school will make her late for dinner and that just will not do."

Elsa almost choked. Was Anna seriously getting her out of detention too?

"Her punishment at home will be sufficient, I can assure you. Is that all? Good. Thank you for informing us. Goodbye." Anna hung up and took a breath.

They met each other's eyes before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"You actually did it!" Elsa said in elated disbelief.

"Of course I did! You just needed a little faith." Anna's smile reached her eyes.

In an uncharacteristic display of emotion, Elsa embraced Anna in a tight hug. "You're incredible," she whispered into her red hair.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for the kind comments. Its great to see that other people love these two adorable dorks as much as me.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 05 – Just Thursdays then**

Anna had to pause to breath while hugging Elsa. She had done it by instinct and now the awkwardness was setting in. _Too soon?_ Then Anna thought of Elsa's arms around her and sighed with a happy smile. _Never too soon._ The contact only strengthened her resolve.

After Elsa had stormed off into her bedroom last night Anna had spent a lot of time thinking. It was all she could do to stop herself from breaking down the door, pinning Elsa up against the wall and forcing her to spill everything. Whatever her friend was suffering from wasn't something that would be shared so easily though and Anna needed to be smart about this. She needed to give Elsa the space she needed. _I won't let it end like last time._

After an awkwardly long time where the pair weren't sure who should pull away first, Elsa took the initiative and stepped back. She hastily grabbed her keys from a bowl on the kitchen counter and headed for the door. Anna had to run to keep up.

She followed her friend down the narrow staircase into the car park below the apartment block. Her surprise at finding Elsa living in one of the least desirable areas of the city was almost eclipsed by seeing Elsa's car. They stopped beside an old Ford Fiesta which must have been as old as her. Its silver paintwork was faded and chipped.

"Something wrong?" Elsa cocked her head to one side as she manually unlocked the car.

Anna blinked, unable to line up her memories of Elsa in her ice blue BMW convertible compared to this.

"No," Anna squeaked quickly. She smiled brightly again as she hopped in. The interior was as run down as the exterior but it held a warm charm which Anna had never found in Elsa's old car.

She poked at the fluffy plush snowman hanging from the rear view mirror. "He's cute." She caught Elsa suppressing one of her groans as she turned the ignition on. Anna leaned forward and pressed her nose against the plush toy. The scent of cedar wood filled her lungs. "He smells like winter." _Like Elsa._

"Seat belt," Elsa commanded. Anna let go of the snowman and silently obliged.

As they travelled Anna took a moment to examine her former best friend. Despite so much having changed so much was still the same. Elsa was as uptight as ever but a small smile crept onto her lips as she remembered Elsa's laugh earlier. Her old friend was still in there and it warmed Anna's heart. All at once she felt confident and relieved she had sought her out.

 _This will work out, Anna. You've just got to get to know her again._

* * *

Anna had lunch at school nailed. She'd meet Elsa, they'd talk. Well, Anna would talk a lot and Elsa would listen. She was so lucky her new friend was a good listener. Anna told her everything from gossip about the other girls, the rumours about the teachers and most importantly, how to get two chocolate bars for one out of the vending machine. Anna had all of the tricks.

But aside from lunch time the two girls barely saw each other. Elsa's schedule couldn't change and while Anna was inclined to believe it was because Elsa didn't wish to spend time after school with her, she also appreciated her family had a chauffeur pick her up every day. If her parents really were that strict there was little room for manoeuvre. And so their days went by largely separated. Elsa was two years Anna's senior which meant they had no classes together and with Anna not joining the netball team training they had no clubs together either.

"I should do it. I should just show up to netball." Anna sat in the locker room holding her kit. She had intended to join them to see Elsa again but as soon as she sat in the locker room her courage had fled. She grappled with her thoughts as she argued for and against walking into practice.

 _She called you incredible._ Anna wore a goofy grin on her face as she recalled that day. It was all the motivation she needed.

"Why?" A voice pierced through her like a knife through butter. Anna snapped round to face Elsa.

"Why what?" Anna asked dumbly.

"Why show up to netball? I thought you quit practice."

The question was both fair and obvious. Anna could admit that. What she couldn't admit to was wanting to see Elsa so badly this was her only option. Why was Elsa in the dressing room anyway?

"I..." Anna faltered. She had never been good at lying. _Goddammit Anna pull yourself together._ "...Thought we'd be able to hang out more if you and me were in the same club. And this is the only one you're in so..." _Oh god why did you go with the truth? Now she'll know you're a total loser._

"Oh." Elsa's response was brief and frustratingly unreadable. "Then it's a shame that I just quit."

Anna blinked. "What?"

"I just quit. I was fed up with their incessant bitching..." Elsa hesitated for a time as if she was trying to decide whether to continue. "...They pushed you into the lake, Anna. I don't want to be anywhere near them." Darkness flashed across Elsa's eyes and Anna shuddered with an unexpected thrill. "That and I don't really enjoy sports. I only signed up for it because my father wanted me to participate in an after school activity. Specifically one which wasn't chess or IT," she clarified. "But we have a gym and pool at home so it's not like I need the exercise."

Anna was still sitting in shock. _She talks about having a gym and pool like it's totally normal._

"And besides," Elsa paused and her expression turned uncertain again. Anna didn't think she had ever seen the blonde look quite so doubtful in the short time she had known her. "I wanted to spend my Thursday afternoons with you instead."

Anna was sure her heart had stopped. Had she misheard?

"You want... to spend your afternoons... with me?" She was visibly pointing to herself now which caused Elsa to let out a chuckle.

"Don't look so surprised. I've never had many friends so I'm probably going to get this all wrong and let us not forget my parents are completely overbearing but if you are ok with that I'd really like to spend more time with you. Its lonely back home and you are the first person who has treated me like a regular person. A decent regular person anyway," she amended remembering many of the girls in the school had tried to tease and trick her. "I'd have to tell my father I still attend the club and Kai would still pick me up from school so we can't go far. Do you know anywhere around here we could go?"

Anna had to take a moment to compose herself. Not only had Elsa suggested they meet up regularly, she was also talking far more than ever before. She was talking more than Anna was. That was some achievement.

"Anna? Are you ok?" Elsa bent down before her and pressed a cold hand to her forehead. Her face was full of worry. "You're so hot. Are you sick?"

Anna sat rigid as Elsa leaned in close. _She's worried about you._ Anna's eyes trailed across the faint freckles of Elsa's cheeks and over her pale lips.

"No! No I'm fine!" Anna brushed away her hand as embarrassment threatened to overwhelm her. That familiar winter scent disappeared as Elsa withdrew.

"Ok. Well I still have half an hour until Kai is here. Shall we take a walk? I'll drop you home again." It wasn't a question. Anna stifled a smile at the blonde's bold manner. "I don't want you catching the bus this late. If those girls catch up to you-" she cut herself off from finishing the sentence and Anna cocked her head to one side as Elsa bit her lip. She was looking away distantly. "Perhaps I should drop you home daily. It's hardly out of the way-"

"Elsa, really its fine-I mean I'd like to have a lift home every day-anyone would! But I have a bus pass and I don't want to impose on you. And if I showed up at home in your car every day my parents will ask questions and that will probably lead to them trying to compensate you and it's going to get awkward." Anna paused to breathe.

"Just Thursdays then," Elsa nodded in understanding. Anna shook her head with a defeated smile. Ok, so she couldn't resist getting a lift once a week.

"Alright, Thursdays."

* * *

Elsa hit the indicator and pulled up.

"Elsa!" A cheery voice greeted her as he let himself into the car. He leaned forward between the seats and held out a tray of three paper cups and a bag. "This is the one full of sugar," he added as Elsa took the goodies. She thrust the cup marked sugar out to Anna who blinked in surprise.

"Hot chocolate. You still take three sugars, right?" And Anna was certain she could see a light blush on Elsa's cheeks. _She remembered._

"Yes, it's perfect." Anna's grin reached her ears. She then looked around to the man who now occupied the backseat. The mop of messy black hair obstructed his eyes.

"This is Olaf. My business partner," Elsa introduced them. "Olaf, this is... Anna." Anna felt the hesitation but any awkwardness was quickly washed away by the hyperactive young man behind them.

"Hello, Snowman267, nice to meet you!" The young man extended his hand and shook Anna's energetically.

"Wait." Anna's eyes widened in realisation. "This is the person you used to talk to in that chatroom?" Her eyes met Elsa's steely blue gaze. "You actually met up with him? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Who did you think I bunked with after I left?" Elsa asked nonchalantly.

"I don't know, I just assumed your parents had given you a bunch of cash." Anna's brows furrowed in thought.

"I took nothing with me Anna, except the car. Which I did sell," she confessed with a sigh. "I needed the money for our business. And to pay Olaf back for putting up with me for so long."

"You were still a better roommate than Marshmallow," Olaf said deflated. "He has some serious anger management issues."

Elsa let out a strangled laugh. "You only liked me better because I did your laundry."

"That too," he could not deny it.

"So, Anna." He turned to the redhead and by his tone Elsa visibly tensed. "Elsa has told me all about you," Olaf's grin was only rivalled by Anna's. Elsa's face was already in her palms.

"Oh has she now?" Anna raised an eyebrow.

"Right, that's enough of that, we need to get going," Elsa interrupted them both before speeding off from the kerbside with a screech.

* * *

 _This will never work out, Elsa. Why are you even trying?_

Elsa's internal struggle of pushing Anna away and pulling her back was exhausting her and it was only 8:30am.

She turned the radio up loud enough to drown out any chatter. She couldn't cope with them sharing the embarrassing stories of her youth. Her mind was vivid as she imagined them turning it into some sort of awful competition. A competition which would no doubt leave her creating some sort of storm in their car. _Stay calm._ She told herself. _Conceal. Don't feel. You've got this._

Elsa parked in the car park beneath her office block in the city. As the others got out she rested her head on the steering wheel for a moment. Frost coated her palms. Inviting Anna into her world was too much and she knew it.

"Elsa? You ok?" The redhead knocked on the window. Elsa jolted up and nodded. Taking a deep breath she grabbed her hot chocolate and exited her car. She caught up with Olaf who was dishing out doughnuts.

"Thanks," she said as she bypassed Olaf's offer of the sprinkled one and went straight for the glazed one in the bag. Anna's favourite was sprinkles. _Am I being too obvious? Would picking her favourite send out worse or better signals? What signals am I even trying to send?_

"So have you got your presentation ready?" Olaf asked as they walked.

"It's ready. I really wish it was you doing this though." Elsa exhaled, allowing some of her anxiety to show. "You're much more charming than me."

"We both know that's not true." Olaf shook his head with a doughnut still held in his mouth. "Plus it'll be good for you to get out of your shell."

"Excuse me, but what is it you both do exactly?" Anna interrupted curiously. Olaf looked between Anna and Elsa in disbelief.

"You haven't told her?"

"I haven't exactly had an opportunity." Elsa said defensively. There was a momentary silence as they walked into the lobby of the office building.

* * *

Elsa spoke to the receptionist while Olaf stood back with Anna.

"She's getting you a guest pass," he explained to her as they finished their doughnuts. "We share the building with quite a few other companies so for security reasons everyone has to be signed in and out. We already have company passes." He held up his badge as an example. Anna nodded along in understanding. Her eyes caught a glimpse of his company name. _Snowflake Studios._ She found it odd the name however wasn't on the list of companies on the wall in the lobby.

"Let me guess, you picked the name?" Anna asked.

"Ha, no actually Elsa did. She really loves winter. But I can't complain. My online ID was Snowman after all." Olaf was grinning now. "I might have persuaded her."

"We're clear!" Elsa called from the reception desk. Olaf and Anna walked over and Anna accepted the guest pass. She smiled with more pride than she could contain when she read the card _. Anna Summers, Consultant, Snowflake Studios._ It looked identical to Olaf's. Now she wished she had read his job role. Being a consultant sounded far too posh for her. Student or trainee would have been more on her level.

She followed Elsa and Olaf to the lift where they hit the button for the 13th floor.

"So, erm, a consultant," Anna stammered. "For what?"

Elsa let out an audible sigh. "Together Olaf and I make video games," Elsa finally told her. Anna had to double take. Not because Elsa wasn't smart, she knew first hand the blonde was incredibly proficient at coding and everything IT related. She really took after her father in that regard. It was the video games which caught her off guard. For as long as Anna knew her she had never played video games.

"Well mainly apps and games for mobile. We aren't exactly a big enough company to make PC or console games. And that is actually why we are here. We're partnering with Southern Isles Studios to make a proper game. Olaf and I can't do all of that work on our own."

"Plus SIS have their own publishing department," Olaf chimed in. The doors opened on the elevator before Anna had time to respond.

"Olaf and I have to attend the meeting. We'll come pick you up from the common room in an hour." Anna simply nodded, and then frowned.

"Wait what do I say if someone starts asking me about Snowflake Studios?"

"Download Olaf's Awesome Adventure on your phone while you wait. Trust me, you'll enjoy it." Olaf winked. And with that the pair disappeared off through a pair of double doors leaving Anna to relax in the large open seating area.

* * *

Elsa closed the double doors and leaned against the wall, anxiety slipping through her mask. She clenched her eyes shut and took deep breaths.

"I was surprised when you told me she was coming," Olaf didn't skip a beat as he leaned against the wall beside Elsa. He took one of Elsa's cold hands in his and squeezed it.

"But I'm glad you brought her. She's nice." Olaf continued talking while Elsa focused on her breathing.

"You have your session tonight? You are still attending them, right?" He took Elsa's silence as a tentative yes. "I'll keep an eye on Anna so don't worry about anything. Have a night to get your head straight."

Elsa couldn't suppress her small smile. She squeezed Olaf's hand back in thanks.

"Pass me the memory stick. I'll handle the presentation." Olaf held his free hand out. Elsa finally opened her eyes and met his gaze. She really was so lucky to have met such a kind and understanding guy. She released her icy grip on his hand and fumbled in her handbag for the data stick.

"Its labelled Project Snowflake 03," she instructed him as she handed it over. "And Olaf, thanks," she added gratefully.

"Anytime," he grinned back. He gave her a high five before heading towards the meeting room.

* * *

Anna sat back in Elsa's luxury chauffeur car on the way home to her flat with a goofy grin on her face. Like flicking a switch, Elsa had turned from soft and friendly to rigid and guarded the moment she got into the car but Anna didn't mind. She was getting to know the real Elsa and it thrilled her.

"Elsa? It just occurred to me," Anna turned to her friend with a look of concern. "Why did your father not want you to join the IT or chess clubs?" She felt dumb asking, but she just couldn't imagine Mr Arendelle being concerned with whether his daughter was popular or not judging by how she acted around the school. In fact she'd probably have had a much better reception in the chess club than anywhere else. Anna could just imagine Elsa being good at chess. She'd stare her opponent down with that calculating gaze. Outplaying her rival with a grace only she had.

"My father owns the largest computer corporation in the world. I have a lot of private IT related lessons at home. Joining a school club would be a waste of my time. And as far as chess goes... I beat my father once every five or six games. I don't think my classmates would offer the same challenge."

"You really are so damn sophisticated." _And perfect._ Anna silently added. She sat back in the leather seat, still wearing that goofy grin.

"Yes but I can say with certainty you are more fun." Elsa dropped her icy persona for a moment to give Anna a knowing side glance. The redhead smiled even wider.

 _She thinks you're both fun and incredible._

* * *

 **A/N: Seeing Frozen on Broadway was what really inspired me to write this fanfic. The music is incredible. If you haven't checked it out already pick up the CD - you won't be disappointed. Monster and True Love in particular really helped me get into Elsa and Anna's mind set. (I actually loved the show so much I'm heading back to the US to see it again next month)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 06 - You make me feel normal**

Elsa sat locked in the stall of a toilet as she spent the morning reflecting on what had happened in the space of a day. Less than a day; it hadn't even been a full 24 hours.

Anna was like a drop of colour permeating every part of her monochrome life. It was impossible to wash that brightness away.

 _I need to tell her everything. She deserves the truth. Once I tell her we can both move on._

Fleeting images of the past haunted her. Elsa knew this had to happen but her mouth was dry and her hands covered in frost. How could she bring herself to tell Anna when she couldn't even face the truth alone?

 _...But not today._ She sighed inwardly. _Pull yourself together and get back out to her and give her at least one good day._

* * *

Employees were dotted around on laptops and phones. Some eating breakfast, others hard at work. It was Anna's first insight to working life. While at university she had gotten away with not having to take a job due to the Arendelle's generous sponsorship. It made her realise just how dependent she was on her guardians. Elsa had been so strong stepping out into the world with no support, well aside from the pay off from a very expensive car. Even so, it couldn't have been easy. Did Elsa even go to university? Anna made a mental note to ask her later.

"Hey newbie. I didn't realise you worked here." The voice made Anna almost fall from her seat. "Anna of Snowman Studios."

Anna looked up from her phone to see Hans take a seat opposite her.

"Hans?" She asked pleasantly surprised. After being overwhelmed by seeing Elsa she had almost forgotten about the kind stranger with incredible sideburns who saved her from the speeding car yesterday.

"You escaped the meeting?" He asked as he set a soda down for her. "Don't worry, it's on the company." He winked as he pushed it to her. Anna took it gratefully.

"Elsa and Olaf have it covered. I'm just doing some research." Anna tried to play it off casually but she was failing. Olaf's Awesome Adventure was open on her phone but she had yet to try it. She nervously opened her can while doing the only thing Anna knew what to do: throw more words at the situation. "So you work here too? I mean-of course you do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. Security, duh." Anna slapped her head at her own stupidity.

"Yes I work here." Hans let out a soft laugh at her rambling. "Well, actually I own here. Southern Isle Studios is my business. So when did Snowflake Studios employ you? You never mentioned you worked for them."

"Oh erm-" Anna hesitated and Hans gave her a knowing smile.

"You made up with your friend and she gave you a job." He assumed before she could ramble excuses.

Anna blinked. He was quick. Lying now seemed completely pointless, not that she ever excelled at it. "Actually that's pretty much it. Except I'm fairly certain she isn't paying me and I'm not working." Anna laughed nervously.

"If you're not working then you have time for a tour. Let me show you around the place. You never know, maybe you'll get a permanent position here one day."

Damn he was smooth. Anna was sure he meant it too. "I'm afraid I'm not doing the right degree for a computer based job, but thanks for the vote of confidence."

"What course are you taking?" He asked in curiosity, a small smile playing on his lips.

Anna looked down at the can of soda, fingers playing with the tab. "I never really excelled at much at school. The only thing I didn't completely flunk was biology so I just took it at university. I really wanted to move on and get away from... home." She had never considered the Arendelle's residence home but explaining that to Hans was opening a whole can of worms which she wanted to avoid. "I don't know what I want to do but I don't need to worry about that just yet. I'll just get through my course and work out my life afterwards."

"Biology, huh? That must be pretty intense. I always preferred chemistry myself. I actually got my masters in chemistry before starting up SIS."

"No way." Anna's eyes caught his. He was being serious. Wow. "That's a pretty big leap," She said while gazing into those green eyes. Something was hidden deep. Something guarded. _A lot like Elsa._

"My father was always into computers so I wanted to get as far away from it as I could," a wry smile crossed his face. "When I said my life wasn't as complicated as yours I wasn't telling the truth. Father wasn't around much when I growing up. I resented him for it. But then again how can you blame a man who has to spread his time between 3 failed marriages and 13 children," He said with a laugh.

Anna gave him a look of pity. Beneath his casual persona she could see the bitterness. When she had met him yesterday she had barely scratched the surface. _So many peoples' lives are so deep and complicated. I'm not the only one who carries so much._

"I spent more time with Weselton Pharmaceuticals than I did in Arendelle Corporation."

"Wait, Arendelle Corporation?" Anna asked dumbly.

"Yeah. My father co-founded the company. His name just isn't in the company name and he's not really the face of things. But he's a big player."

 _Wow. He is connected with Elsa's father. The world of high flying business is so small._

"I had a pretty good job lined up with Weselton but for some crazy reason I woke up one day and just set up my own business. I don't know what came over me," he was laughing again. "But I just went out and did it. And here we are, Southern Isle Studios." He gestured around him.

"That's so crazy. I couldn't imagine getting a real job, let alone setting up my own business." _And both Elsa and Hans have done it. You really are so out of your depth Anna._

"I was really lucky I had a lot of support. Father did help finally but the Duke really gave me the support I needed. He gets really bad reputation from the media with how they portray him selling his medicines to hospitals for a big profit but its all propaganda. He's a good guy," Hans assured her.

Anna had caught the odd piece of news here and there about various disagreements regarding Weselton Pharmaceuticals and their obligation to provide life saving medicine to the health service, but it had been argued that a private company shouldn't be losing money when the government couldn't afford to pay a reasonable price. The politics of it went way over her head. She had no idea who was right or who was wrong, nor had she ever spent much time thinking about it until Hans had brought it up. Now she was absently wondering whether it was right for a private company to withhold vital medicine for monetary gain.

"I originally wasn't going to go into computer software but I was actually pretty good at it. I'm sure you'd be good at it too if you gave it a chance," he paused, flashing her that winning smile. "I could teach you-"

"I think she's in capable hands, Mr Westergard," Elsa cut him cleanly off as she walked up to the table. Not missing a beat, she continued, "Thank you for looking after _my_ guest so personally." Elsa turned to Anna, eyes fierce in a way the redhead hadn't seen since school. "Anna, I'm heading out for lunch-"

"Yes," Anna replied before even being asked the question. "Lunch sounds perfect." She was already on her feet, phone in hand and bag over her shoulder. It wasn't that she was trying to escape Hans: she really enjoyed his company. She was just completely blinded by Elsa wanting to spend time with her.

"Thanks Hans. I'll take you up on that tour later."

He gave her a wink in return and mimicked a phone with his hand as they left.

Anna flashed him a smirk before looping her arm in Elsa's, not caring how stiff the blonde became at the public display. Together they awkwardly marched off towards the elevator.

* * *

Elsa had been considering this for a week. Anna's family didn't earn much and she had heard from the redhead during her lunchtime ramblings that the insurance company didn't pay out for water damage. More specifically lake damage in this case.

So here Elsa stood with a brand new top of the range mobile phone in her hand. She had thought she was being kind, generous even, but when Anna's shocked expression turned to a mix of hurt and anger, she realised something was very wrong.

"I don't understand," Elsa said with a frown. Anna seemed to be exasperated and Elsa wished she could work out why.

"Elsa you can't spend that kind of money on me! I'd never be able to repay you!"

"I'm not asking you to repay me," Elsa replied as if it was obvious. She looked between the phone and Anna, still trying to work out why Anna was so hurt.

"You don't ask people to repay you. It's just socially expected of someone to 'return the favour'. It's a favour I can't return." Anna insisted.

Elsa considered this carefully for a good minute. "You broke me out of detention and you stopped my father finding out I punched a girl. I think this more than covers it." She adamantly thrust the phone to Anna.

"Am I like, the first friend you've had?" Anna asked with a sigh as she, with great reluctance, took the phone.

"Yes. Why?" Elsa asked, pleased the redhead had finally accepted. She was worried for a minute there she would remain stubborn.

Anna blinked in surprise. "Wait seriously? You didn't make any friends at your previous schools?"

Elsa took a deep breath. She was sheltered, she knew that. Admitting it to her new carefree friend however felt like weakness.

"I was home schooled. This is the first real school I've attended."

"Wait, seriously?" Anna repeated dumbstruck. "That must be so weird. No wonder you haven't made friends before-no wait I don't mean like that. I'm sure you have made friends-"

Elsa pressed her finger to Anna's pink lips. She was finding it to be the easiest way to halt her ramblings ...and her lips were so invitingly soft.

"You're the only person who has ever asked me. You're also the only person who has gotten me out of trouble by imitating my mother on the phone. So thank you. I know you think you need to give me something in return but you undervalue what you've already given me. Having someone to talk to who isn't my family is liberating. You make me feel normal." Elsa hadn't meant to express herself quite so much. She wasn't sure she had ever been so honest with her feelings before but the way Anna was glowing in surprised happiness made it worthwhile.

"Seen as I'm your only friend... and you're kind of my only friend..." Anna struggled to find the words. Elsa waited patiently as the redhead fidgeted uncomfortably. She didn't understand how Anna's emotions were changing at the flick of a switch. Then again Elsa had never worn her heart on her sleeve like Anna. It was something she truly envied. "...That makes us best friends, right?"

Elsa was caught by surprise. _That's what she was worried about?_

"Yes, I suppose we are," Elsa nodded with a small smile.

The smile on Anna's face was worth it. It was worth everything.

* * *

 _She is worth everything._ It was all Elsa could think as Anna marched them out of the office building. She'd be damned if she'd allow Hans to charm her.

"So... Where were we going again?" Anna asked, losing steam as looked up and down the street.

"There's a nice Japanese place just around the corner," Elsa said as she steered Anna in the right direction.

"Right. Japanese. Wait, that requires chopsticks?"

The thought of Anna using chopsticks amused Elsa more than it should have. It wasn't the reason why she had picked the restaurant but getting to see this made her all the more pleased she did pick it.

"You'll be fine. I'll teach you," She assured her, keeping her confident mask firmly in place. She couldn't allow Anna to see just how conflicted her heart was. Every conversation and action was dragging her back to a past she thought she had left behind.

 _Lunch with Anna... We used to do this every day at school. Albeit not in a fancy restaurant. Even so, it's so nostalgic._

Elsa took charge as they entered the small yet busy restaurant. She gave the waitress her reservation and they were promptly shown to a table. Elsa relaxed into the chair as the smell of freshly cooked food filled her lungs. Asian food was truly her favourite, especially Japanese.

"Erm, Elsa," Anna peeked over the menu to address her. "What do I order?"

Elsa let out a small laugh. She knew she was being mean. Anna was an adventurous soul but when it came to food she knew what she liked and stuck with it. Even after four years she was still more likely to pick an ice cream or doughnut than a have a proper dinner. At least Elsa assumed she hadn't changed.

"We'll get a selection and share," Elsa said. At her words the redhead visibly relaxed.

"Good. I have no idea what half of this is," she confessed quietly, like saying that too loud would cause her to be judged by the other patrons.

Elsa smiled. Being here, pretending to be normal with Anna felt better than she could have ever imagined. And it was something she had imagined a lot. _If life was different... If I could have this every day..._ Her mind flew with imagination.

"Elsa?" Anna waved her hand in front of the blonde's face. Elsa glanced up to see the waitress. Immediately she stiffened and read off a number of dishes off the menu. It wasn't a difficult choice. She had known Anna well enough in the past to know her likes and dislikes. She was certain she hadn't changed that much.

"I wish you'd tell me what you're thinking when you blank out like that," Anna murmured after the waitress left them.

 _If only you knew._ Elsa closed her eyes for a moment. She wished this would last forever. "So, Hans. You were pretty friendly," Elsa said the only small talk she could think of. And instantly regretted it.

"Yeah, I met him yesterday. He saved me from being run over," Anna said bashfully. "He gave me loads of advice about the city and then dropped me to yours. I can't believe he is your boss-"

"He isn't my boss. It's a partnership," Elsa corrected her more sharply than she had intended. _So it was Hans who she was drinking with last night._ The disapproval in her own head was unintentionally reflected on her stern expression.

"Right. Your 'partner'. Anyway he was really sweet. You're lucky to have a 'partner' like him."

Elsa wanted to throttle both herself for bringing Hans up and Anna for being so naive for believing him. She knew that the man had only entertained the partnership with her company after he had found out she was the daughter of Agnarr Arendelle. The whole situation was political, everything she was trying to escape. Yet Southern Isles Studios was her last resort and she'd be damned if she went to her father's company for support. After a long and heated, and equally freezing argument with Olaf she had accepted Hans' offer for the joint project. It had been going well too. All of her doubts had gone unfounded over the past year. But there was something about the man she still disliked. It wasn't something she could put her finger on but she just didn't like him.

And here Anna was naively taking everything in world at face value, just like always. Elsa wanted to facepalm. Then again it was that innocence that drew her to the redhead. _If she was a good judge of character she wouldn't be chasing you._ Elsa gripped her glass until her knuckles went white.

She was grateful when the food was served. She wasn't sure she could think about Hans any longer.

"So how do I hold them?" Anna asked as she picked up her chopsticks. Elsa gave her instructions but it was hopeless. Anna had zero coordination. The piece of sushi she had attempted to pick up plummeted to the floor and rolled away.

"Hold still," Elsa said as she turned from her chair and walked around the table. She bent beside Anna and took her hand in hers. "Like this," She instructed as she held Anna's hand. With precision they picked up another piece of sushi. Delicately, Elsa guided Anna's chopsticks to the redhead's mouth.

"Mmm, that's really good!" Anna said with her mouth full, her face melting into a look of delight at the taste.

Elsa smiled; pleased she'd made a good choice. She helped Anna pick up a second piece before returning to her seat.

"I think you've got the hang of it now."

"I really think I don't," Anna replied, stabbing at a piece with a single chopstick. "You know... we could get take out sometime. And you could give me more lessons with those chopsticks," Anna was blushing as she spoke and Elsa didn't miss what she was implying. At least that what she assumed Anna meant. Perhaps it was her own mind imagining too much. Wishing for too much.

A heavy wave of guilt crushed any joy she felt from the comment.

"One step at a time," Elsa murmured. Anna's resigned expression crushed her a second time. _Don't do this to her. Don't do this to yourself._

"So tonight, I was thinking I could cook. I've been practicing and-"

"Not tonight," Elsa cut her off. "I have plans tonight."

"Plans?" Anna asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes plans. Plans which have been planned for a long time. Plans which I can't rearrange." Elsa didn't know why she didn't just tell Anna the truth but something about spending the night in talking to her therapist felt too intimate to share. She didn't want Anna to know she was struggling, even after four years. She couldn't burden her with that.

"I see..." The disappointment in Anna's statement made Elsa wince.

"Olaf is free to show you around the city-"

"It's fine, really, Elsa. I can entertain myself for an evening," Anna said stubbornly before continuing to eat her sushi without grace.

Elsa sighed inwardly as she watched as Anna tried her best to look dignified. She was anything but that. Even so, Elsa couldn't help but fall in love with the redhead all over again. Everything from the way she talked too much, to the way she held those chopsticks, to the way she lit up the room with that smile.

 _You're screwed Elsa. So screwed._

* * *

 **A/N: I know I said a few chapters ago that updates would be slow. I didn't want to put myself under any pressure to get these out but I've had a really good flow with writing so here, have another chapter.  
**

 **Thanks again for the nice comments. I was never a big Anna fan when I first saw the Frozen movie but Patti Murin on Broadway really changed it for me, so yes, I totally agree she is adorable! I love her just as much as Elsa now. As for the story being bittersweet, indeed it is! And there is plenty more angst to come ;) But the fluff afterwards will make it worthwhile, I promise!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 07 - The perfect present for the perfect superhero**

Choosing a birthday present for Elsa was impossible. What did you buy a woman who simply had everything? Anna opened her purse and sighed deeply. A handful of coins and notes greeted her. It wasn't like she could get a job at her age. Well, anything except a paper round but that was basically child labour with the money that'd pay. And most importantly, she'd never make it up at the crack of dawn every morning to deliver the damn things. No, Anna had to rely on the small allowance her parents gave her and the odd cleaning and gardening jobs she could pick up from neighbours. It was tough, especially when Elsa didn't understand the concept of reciprocating gifts. Anna would never be able to afford something equivalent to the phone. She had considered making something. That would be priceless after all. Except Anna wasn't exactly creative either. She couldn't paint a beautiful picture, or create a wonderful sculpture, nor could she knit a scarf, and that she had tried.

Fresh out of ideas and almost out of money, Anna wandered the shopping centre aimlessly in the hope inspiration would strike her. Everything she passed was too expensive or just not right.

"The perfect present for the perfect superhero," Anna slumped back on the bench exasperated. Elsa really had been a superhero. Anna could just imagine her in a mask and cape flying around the city beating up the bad guys and saving the world. She'd be juggling her superhero responsibilities with her real life. Her dad would make things difficult, but maybe that's how she'd get her tip offs for where the crime was going down. He'd know people who'd know that sort of stuff.

"And I'd be the only one she'd tell." Anna wore a small smile as she sunk into the bench. "Maybe she'd teach me her amazing fighting skills and then I'd be her sidekick or something." Closing her eyes, Anna allowed the day dream to fly in her imagination.

"You'd be whose sidekick?"

Anna flung herself forward, almost head butting Elsa in the face.

"Christ, Elsa! You can't just sneak up on people like that!" Anna held her poor, thumping heart.

"You were sitting on a bench mumbling to yourself. I was worried," She said in concern.

Past the initial shock of being caught day dreaming about the woman, Anna looked up to see Elsa in a snow white winter coat. The subtle hints of makeup were present, highlighting those long lashes and high cheekbones. _Not that she needs any makeup to look beautiful._ Blonde hair was tied tightly back tight into a bun; no loose strands escaped... and were those heels? Anna blinked. High heels. The sort of shoes Anna could only dream of one day being able to wear, let alone walk in.

 _Gods, she looks incredible._

"Elsa!" A voice along the street tore Anna from her staring.

"One moment, Mother," Elsa called back.

"Sorry. Father is opening a new store. It's not something he is usually involved with but it's going to be the flagship store for his company. Why don't you come?" She offered.

Anna looked at Elsa, positively glowing in her formal wear, and then down to herself in her worn out jeans and old coat.

"Elsa, you know I really would say yes if I could, but have you seen me? Have you seen you? I can't just walk into your party dressed like this!" To illustrate the point Anna did a twirl. By the time she had turned to face Elsa again the blonde had already taken her arm.

"It's not a party. More like a reception. And the public are welcome. That's the whole point in a grand opening," She said as they walked.

 _How does she move so fast in heels?_ Anna was too wrapped up in her thoughts to argue. So when Elsa stopped before an exceptionally well dressed middle-aged couple Anna cocked her head to one side in confusion.

"Mother, Father, this is Anna Summers, a friend from school. Anna, these are my parents." Elsa made the introductions.

Anna was still blinking with that dopey expression as the cogs turned in her mind. _You're introducing me to your parents? Oh gods, stay calm Anna. Stay calm. Just say something normal. You're a normal girl._

"It's-nice-to-meet-you!" The words flew out of Anna's lips too quickly. She held her hand out to shake theirs. This was the correct protocol, right? It was too late, Anna had committed. Thankfully Elsa's parents took her hand and shook it, albeit it with a slight pause. They looked as uncomfortable as Anna. At least she wasn't the only one suffering. "You look beautiful-I mean, not as beautiful as your daughter-wait-I didn't mean-erm-I just haven't seen you wear that coat before-" Anna cut herself off before her mouth ran away with itself.

"The school doesn't expect formal dress, Miss Summers," Elsa's mother's tone was laced with impatience. She spoke as if that one line explained everything, and to Anna it really did. Elsa didn't have friends like her outside of school. Elsa couldn't wear whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Thoughts flashed back to when she overheard Elsa on the phone to her father.

 _Her life is so far apart from mine._

Anna would have taken a step back had Elsa not been holding her arm so firmly.

Elsa's father checked his watch. "We need to go," He said without emotion.

"I'll meet you after the formalities are over," Elsa said, releasing her arm. Anna suddenly felt so alone at the loss of contact but her words kept her steady.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Summers," Elsa's mother said by way of farewell. Anna watched as Elsa left with them, a feeling of sadness sweeping through her. There was something about them that seemed... off. It didn't feel natural. Then again Anna's parents struggled to make ends meet. If they had been showered with wealth and fame then maybe they'd be as disjointed and distant as the Arendelles. _No. We'd never be like that._

* * *

Elsa stood at the reception repeating her father's mantra in her mind. _Conceal, don't feel._ It was surprisingly easier than she had expected. It had been months since she had unleashed a full blown storm, and at times when she felt one would happen she was able to temper her emotions before it could manifest fully. Her efforts hadn't gone unnoticed by her parents. They had given her a slice of normality by allowing her to attend a regular school, and in return she'd grown far more than she ever believed possible. And now here she was, at an official event as a family.

"The minute you feel like it's too much tell me," Agnarr told Elsa firmly for the hundredth time.

"I'm fine, Father," Elsa promised him exasperated. She was ready to live up to his expectations as his heir. For the first time in so long she felt like she could be the perfect daughter he wished for.

"You've been doing so well, both here and at school," Iduna assured Elsa, which filled the blonde with a sense of pride. She was making them proud. She took their concern and approval in her stride, never betraying her nervousness. Just because she was keeping it together didn't mean the fear of slipping up wasn't there. She wore her mask firmly in place though, never letting the world see inside.

"Thank you, Mother," She said formally.

To her relief, neither of them commented on Anna. She wasn't ashamed of the bubbly redhead, far from it. She was just unsure how she'd ever defend her to her parents. Anna was everything her parents disliked; unkempt, clumsy and too talkative. Ironically it was everything Elsa found endearing. It was thrilling introducing her to her parents, proving to them she had connections outside of their little bubble.

Elsa stayed close to her parents as they greeted patrons and business partners. She hadn't seen Anna during her father's speech and she had absently wondered if the redhead had decided not to show up. She wouldn't have blamed her if she hadn't but she couldn't shake the pang of disappointment.

The reception spanned across the second floor of the store, using the large open space to provide an area for guests to mingle and talk. Wine and canapés were served by passing waiters. It was more formal than she had expected, not that she should have been surprised. An event like this was all about image and her father wouldn't miss the opportunity to reinforce it. That being said, among the business partners and family friends there were patrons who had walked off the street. Whether it was the promise of a free drink or because they were really invested in Arendelle Corporation, she did not know. It made for an amusing combination of social classes though. It was something Elsa found fascinating to watch.

During her distant gazing a flash of red caught her eye. Her heart leapt. Anna stuck out like a sore thumb across the room, looking lost and confused. Elsa smiled. She pulled away from her parents and walked across to greet her.

* * *

Anna had the gift bag in one hand and a free glass of orange juice in the other as she scouted the room for Elsa. You'd have thought it would be easier to spot the celebrities at this sort of event but the crowd made it difficult. Not only that, there were so many people dressed up. She was questioning why Elsa ever thought this was a good idea. _She knew I was only wearing old clothes._ Anna was torn between excitement at seeing Elsa all dressed up and nervous over the entirely awful birthday present she was about to hand over. Ok, so the excitement was winning out. Seeing what Elsa was wearing underneath that coat was playing on her mind too much.

"Excuse-" but Anna was cut off as a woman turned and collided with the redhead. The glass flew from her hands showing them both in orange rain. _Why is it always me?_ Anna asked herself. She scrambled to her feet and offered her hand out to the well dressed lady. The woman harshly knocked it away.

"Do you have any idea how much this dress costs?" The woman demanded, struggling to her feet ungracefully on her own.

"I-I'm so sor-"

"You walked into her."

Relief shot through Anna at the sound of Elsa's voice. There was a flash of purple. The drop dead gorgeous blonde stepped in protectively between them and Anna was grateful to have someone to hide behind. It had absolutely nothing to do with how she got to gaze over the faint freckles on the blonde's back. _Backless dresses are the best._

"She walked into me," the woman argued. Anna shrunk back even more. How was Elsa standing so tall and confident? The incident had garnered enough attention to create a small wave of silence and a crowd around them.

"I will be sending you my dry cleaning bill," She leaned around to threaten Anna.

"She will not be paying for an accident cause by you," Elsa growled.

"Elsa," the low tone of her father cut through the crowd. Anna saw Elsa visibly tense. He stepped up between them, giving Elsa a warning glance before turning back to the woman. "Have your bill sent to my office. I'll personally pay for it-"

"She is at fault-" Elsa argued in disbelief.

"Enough Elsa."

Anna instinctively put her hand on Elsa's arm. She wished she was brave enough to help her. _She just saved you again and you can't even speak._

"Mr Arendelle," the woman's tone twisted to one of smug gratitude. "That is very kind of you. And might I suggest having a guest list for any future events."

"She is my guest," Elsa rumbled under her breath but the stern look her father gave her halted her from arguing any further. She turned on her heel, took Anna by the arm and dragged the poor, confused redhead away from the spectacle.

"Are you ok?" Anna whispered in concern as she ran to keep up.

"I'm furious," Elsa replied flatly, not slowing for a second as guests moved aside to let them storm past. She pushed through a door which was labelled 'staff only'. Anna was quite certain they were going to end up lost in the bowels of the store as she followed Elsa through the halls and stairways.

"Please don't be on my account. It's ok, really-"

"It's not ok! She walked all over you and Father undermined me in front of her. It was her fault, Anna. I saw it." Elsa shook her head in irritation. Pushing through another door the pair stepped out into cold afternoon air. The horizon stretched out ahead of them as they stood on the rooftop. "He still treats me like a child. I thought coming here was the start of something new. I've been doing so well. I've been perfect."

 _You really are..._ "Wait, perfect?"

"Sorry. I forget you've only just met my parents." Elsa stopped by the rail. Anna glanced over at the blonde, giving her time to get her thoughts together. "They want a perfect daughter. Every time I think I get close something happens."

Anna opened her mouth to apologise.

"It's not your fault. This would have happened one way or another," Elsa sighed. "It's inevitable."

"That sounds like an awful lot of pressure," Anna murmured, leaning on the rail to gaze across the city. Anna stood beside her for a long time as she tried to think up something clever or witty to say back to blonde. She'd even settle for comforting, but she couldn't think of anything. She didn't have any personal experience with family troubles. Her parents were great. They understood and supported her. How could she even pretend to know what Elsa was going through? "I'm sorry your parents suck," the redhead hesitated. It was lame but it was all she had.

"I know they don't do it on purpose," Elsa continued. Anna listened patiently, letting her get it off her chest. "I mean, they do make it a hundred times worse. They believe we have to uphold some unwritten social code to maintain our perfect image. Imagine if I had a boyfriend-" Anna winced, heart crushed under the implication Elsa liked boys. "-and we were caught kissing or doing worse. It'd be headline news. It would be the worst thing that could possibly happen to my parents."

 _And probably me too._ Anna sighed inwardly.

"Why does it matter what the newspapers say? Why does it matter what other people think of us? We could be happy without all of that."

Anna knew it too well. She had spent years trying to impress friends who didn't really care. "I know it's probably not much consolation, but I'll always be here for you. I don't care if your hair isn't perfect, or if you fall over in high heels-not that you would. You can walk in those things like a professional. What I'm trying to say is, you just being you is perfect for me." _Way to make it sound totally creepy. Why is she even still friends with you?_

* * *

Elsa tore her gazed away from the cityscape and turned to face Anna. Her breath caught. The redhead was so close. Elsa was trapped in those sincere teal eyes. Just a few inches more and Elsa could taste those pink lips. Thoughts drifted further and a thrill shot through her body.

 _She always says exactly what her heart is telling her. I'm so envious. Why can't I tell her what she means to me? She won't reject you. She's just told you she thinks you're perfect. ...But when she said it she didn't know you had a total girl crush on her. And Father will be furious if he ever found out._ She sighed inwardly. It was all she needed to think to kill her mood. The irony of her father allowing her to attend an all-girls school to keep her away from shenanigans with boys was almost comical. Not only had she realised she very much liked women but she'd found the perfect woman. _How do I tell her?_

"Actually I got you a little something for your birthday on the way here. It was actually the whole reason as to why I was shopping." Anna pulled up the gift bag. "You look like you could really use it today." She thrust the bag out to Elsa and the bewildered blonde accepted it.

"How did you know my birthday is coming up?"

"Oh erm, I accidentally saw it on your school file," Anna said with an innocent smile. Elsa blinked twice and then shook her head. _Of course the little minx looked through the whole file._ But she didn't really mind.

"You really didn't have to get me anything," Elsa said seriously as she opened the gift bag.

"I wanted to. You got me the phone and well. We're friends. Friends get each other birthday presents."

Elsa pulled the black fabric out and unravelled it to reveal a t-shirt. She flipped it over and gazed down at the bright yellow Batman logo. Elsa looked at it in surprise. _I don't ever recall speaking to her about superheroes before. Why would she get me this? Am I overanalysing it?_ She asked herself, almost certain she was. Realising she was spending all of her time thinking and none of that time thanking Anna, she looked up quickly.

"It's great!" She overcompensated for her confused first reaction. _Way to go Elsa. This is the first present you've gotten from a friend and you're making her feel bad._

"I can exchange it if you don't like it-"

"No, I love it! Thank you, Anna. It's perfect," She assured her. Anna seemed to relax and Elsa took a breath. "And thank you for coming today. I know it was a bit of a mess but I enjoyed talking to you."

A pause. Elsa's eyes trailed down to Anna's inviting lips again. _You could do it. She's standing right there. No one will see you up here-_

"Elsa! There you are. We've been looking everywhere for you," the voice of her father at the door almost made her fall off the building.

 _That was too close._ She berated herself for not being more careful.

Agnarr didn't need to say anything else. His face told her all she needed to know. She was in trouble for causing a scene and sneaking off up here. There was some relief too though, but Elsa couldn't work out whether it was truly for her or just because she hadn't made it snow.

"Coming Father," She replied while looking at Anna longingly. _Why can't this be easy?_

The redhead gave her a supportive smile. Something about the look eased Elsa's heart. Without words, the two girls turned and headed back into the building on the heel of Elsa's father.

 _She said she'd always be there for you. She will wait until you are ready._

* * *

 **A/N: No present section just yet. This wasn't supposed to be its own chapter but it just happened, so enjoy ;) I'm going to be away at Gamescom next week which means I won't have my laptop or any of my drafts for the next gazillion chapters. So updating may or may not happen. It depends on whether I can sort the next few chapters before I jet off.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 08 - I can't... I can't do this**

Elsa sat in her apartment with her laptop on her lap. A glass of iced water rested on the coffee table.

 _My only perk of this curse._ As soon as she thought it she berated herself. There was no perk to this power. The fact she was about to start another session of therapy in a futile attempt to fix her broken state of mind proved it. Her thoughts were interrupted by the call on her laptop.

"Miss Winters," the woman on the video chat greeted Elsa. She gave her a weary smile in return. The name Miss Winters was what Elsa had gone by since leaving home. It primarily helped to disassociate herself from her father's empire and secondly slowed down any attempt her parents had made to track her. Not that it had mattered in the end. She may have been off the radar while bunking with Olaf but the moment they started a joint business and she moved into her own apartment her parents must have been tipped off. After all she couldn't get around using a fake name for official things. While she had switched back to her old name for most things in therapy she had always opted to remain anonymous.

"Ms. Lopez."

"I trust you've been well this past week."

The two continued exchanging pleasantries. Elsa always began with her professional mask firmly in place during these sessions.

Elsa often wondered why she had ever agreed to have therapy. It was what her parents wanted after all and giving in to them felt like she was betraying herself. But Olaf had been right. As much as she hated it he always was. She did need to let her emotions out somehow. Holding them bottled up inside until they burst out in an uncontrollable storm was not just unhealthy, it was dangerous. Talking to Olaf had been ok for a while but he shouldn't have been expected to take everything and she had already burdened him so much more than was reasonable. It wasn't fair for her not to make an effort on her own to recover from... whatever this was she was suffering from. Guilt? She wasn't even sure she could describe it anymore.

She owed it to Olaf. She would owe it to Anna if she cared enough to stick around. And Elsa knew Anna really did care enough. Perhaps too much.

"Tell me how you feel this week has gone," Ms. Lopez got down to business swiftly and Elsa forced herself to relax back into her couch. It was a well practiced technique which she was becoming quite proficient at. It was a routine by this point. She began by going over the mundane things. The things at work which challenged her: the meetings and social interactions. It always took half the session of discussion to get it out of her system. She focused on the good things too like she'd been told. Usually Olaf was her high point and she tried to hold at least one nice story in reserve for this moment.

"What of Anna?" Ms. Lopez asked. Elsa always grew rigid at the question but the look on her face said more than just nerves. The question had made a regular appearance ever since Elsa admitted to her feelings for Anna. Anna was as much the root to her problems as her powers were; she had learnt that by now.

"Talk to me, Elsa," she prompted with a gentleness which Elsa was unprepared for.

"...Anna showed up at my apartment yesterday." Elsa still wasn't sure why she was putting herself through this. Every muscle was tense.

 _Don't feel. Don't feel-_

"How did you feel about her visiting?"

Elsa bit her lip. She took a long time to consider her reply and her therapist waited with all the patience in the world. Against her better judgement, Elsa picked apart those feelings slowly and with care. Olaf had always told her to be honest. What was the point in suffering through these sessions if she wasn't? Her mouse hovered tentatively over the call termination button as she continued.

"Terrified. Anna is as bright as ever. She illuminates everything she touches. So much so that she can't see the darkness within me," Elsa paused to sip her water, anything to slow her racing mind. "I wish she'd move on."

The screen blurred and Elsa blinked away the tears.

"Do you really wish that? Be honest with yourself." The therapist guided her. Elsa wanted to break down and submit to the storm there and then. Speaking her heart was too challenging.

"I am selfish for wishing otherwise. I love being around her. Just being near that light is enough to thaw my frozen heart... but I'm not worthy." Elsa shook her head in denial. One glance at her now frozen glass of water on the table and she knew she was in too deep.

"I know I've asked you this once before, but now you've seen her again could you tell me what you think Anna wants?"

It was another question Elsa was utterly unprepared for. Blood pounded in her ears. Her heart thumped in her chest.

"She wants things to be how they used to be before I messed up. ...But that can't happen. Not after what I've done."

"Elsa, you always talk about what you've done. Will you tell me what that was?"

Elsa sat numb. Frost coated her couch and coffee table. She could see from the webcam that her ice hadn't slipped into view. Yet.

"I can't... I can't do this." Elsa hit the button. The call terminated.

She sat staring at the screen for no more than 10 seconds before a message popped up.

 _Ms. Lopez: you need to stop running from this. Call me when you're ready._

A pause.

 _Ms. Lopez: I'm serious Elsa. I worry about you._

Elsa gritted her teeth as she slammed the laptop lid shut.

She never asked these people to care about her: Anna, Olaf and now her therapist.

 _Gods I am pathetic._

She wished they wouldn't. No, that was a lie. She wanted that care more than anything. What she truly wished was that she wasn't like she was. That she could be worthy of their care and love. That she could somehow return it and make them proud. It was an impossible dream.

Mentally exhausted, Elsa set the laptop down on a dry shelf and left her frozen glass in the sink.

She wanted to feel proud that facing her emotions for Anna hadn't caused her to somehow tear down the building but her weariness was catching up with her. A sleepless night last night and the stress of keeping every emotion and thought in check was taking its toll.

Grabbing a roll of paper towels from her impressive stash, Elsa got to work mopping up most of the moisture on the surfaces and hard floor. She couldn't leave it like this. Not when she was unsure if Anna would end up crashing here again.

 _Oh gods. Where will she even sleep? She can't sleep on the couch._

Elsa brought her hand to the bridge of her nose moments before setting off to change the sheets on her bed. Elsa knew this was stupid even as she marched between the bedroom and the washing machine. Giving Anna her room, her only space in the apartment which was private was quite possibly the most stupid idea she'd had since accepting to go with Anna on that camping trip four years ago.

"This is going to end so badly," she grumbled to herself as she marched around tidying and generally making the place presentable.

Elsa checked her watch. 22.09. What was taking them so long?

 _Maybe Anna really did go to a hotel. Good. That'll be safer for us both._ Elsa denied the pang of disappointment in her heart. This was for the best.

Too tired to even move, let alone to get into her pyjamas, Elsa snuggled into the couch with her blanket and let herself finally sleep.

* * *

Anna didn't need any encouragement to be out and drinking, yet Hans gave it to her all the same. After spending a few hours at a bar they had made it to a club.

Ditching Elsa and Olaf, she had gone out with the only other person she knew in this city. She kept telling herself that he wasn't her fallback but she was lying to herself. She was pretty sure Hans knew it too but aside from a little teasing he seemed pleased to spend the evening with her.

Anna was drunk. Again. But even with her hazy mind she could still tell the place was unlike anywhere she had visited before. It wasn't like university where the club was filled with drunken students. Here there were people of all ages. The place was bigger, the lights brighter and there was a stage. A stage which had dancers. Just where had Hans brought her?

"Dance with me," He husked in her ear as he pulled her to the crowded dance floor. Anna obeyed, enjoying being able to let herself go. Having someone else there to take care of her felt good. She closed her eyes and, in her drunken haze, imagined Elsa was the one in control. The one swaying against her body, keeping her safe.

 _Elsa..._

Anna closed her eyes and thought back to their time camping. The time when they were so sure of themselves. The time when they had no worries. She had wished for this for so long. Just them, together like nothing else mattered.

"Elsa," she murmured.

"Elsa? She's still on your mind?" Hans asked with an eyebrow raised. She was jolted back to reality at the sound of his voice above the pounding music.

"...Just too much to drink," Anna murmured having no real excuse. The alcohol was coursing through her veins making every feeling-no every memory seem so much more sensitive and vibrant.

Hans took her by the hand and led her to the quieter outdoor smoking area. The thumping of the bass still droned on but the incessant pulse of the music was dulled. The crisp air made Anna feel free.

"You really fell hard for her, didn't you?" He asked as the pair stood in the tiny space sandwiched between buildings.

Anna had never smoked, nor did she care to. The smell of cigarettes from everyone around her was inescapable but at least she could hear herself think above the music and alcohol out here.

"Yeah, I really did," she sighed, unable to deny it.

"And she doesn't return those feelings?" He raised an eyebrow.

Anna sighed even more deeply. "It's complicated. She felt that way once. But it was a long time ago."

"Then she is a fool not to see what I see." Hans tilted her head up to face him. Anna gazed into those endless eyes. Her heart skipped a beat. She felt herself lean towards him.

 _Anna, what are you doing?_ A voice in her head asked.

"Anna, what are you doing?" A familiar voice echoed her thoughts.

Anna backed up as she snapped back to reality.

Olaf stood outside of the roped off club area in his office attire. If Anna had been thinking straight, she'd have questioned why the man was out so late. But she wasn't, and she didn't.

"Let me take you home," he offered softly. Anna felt Hans' arm tighten around her.

"She's being taken care of just fine."

Anna didn't realise quite how territorial he sounded. Olaf however, did. His expression held no charm or playful friendliness. Anna could not help but think he was pulling a face much as Elsa would: unimpressed and serious.

...and she was thinking about Elsa again. _Gods my head is a mess. Maybe alcohol wasn't such a great idea._

"Anna," Olaf pleaded. The mix of concern and desperation caught her attention.

"I should go home," she found herself telling Hans. When he went to argue she cut him off. "It's late, I've had too much to drink and my head isn't in a good place. I'd like to see you again soon though." It seemed to placate him because he backed down from whatever he was going to argue with.

"Alright," he gave in. "Get home safe," he added softly. Catching Anna completely off guard he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

She blinked in surprise at the intimacy. Then again, she had almost kissed him. _Gods I need to sober up._

"Get home safe, Sunshine." Hans lifted the rope so Anna could leave. She missed the smug wink he gave Olaf. Ducking under the rope, she took Olaf's arm once on the street. She glanced back at Hans, giving him a wave and shy smile.

What the hell had just happened? _Am I really so desperate for love?_ Anna couldn't process it.

Olaf led her to his beaten up old car. It was even more worse for wear than Elsa's. Not that Anna had her wits about her to notice. She slumped into the front seat, her hand over one eye so she wasn't seeing double. Just when had the alcohol hit her so hard? She had felt mostly ok until the glare of street lamps and car headlights assaulted her vision.

Olaf spent most of the journey in silence but after they were almost home he finally glanced at Anna.

"Don't trust him."

"He's a nice guy," Anna defended Hans with surprising clarity in her half-dead state. She decided she could at least settle on that. She may not have known what else she felt for him at that moment but he had been kind and fun. Anna enjoyed being with him.

"He pretends to be a nice guy to get what he wants. Just... please be careful."

"Did Elsa put you up to this?"

"No-yes... no. She asked me to watch you and pick you up. She didn't tell me to warn you about him. I just don't trust him."

Olaf hit the indicator and turned left into Elsa's car park.

"I don't need a babysitter," she snorted.

"You could barely stand up straight. If I hadn't been there and Hans had left you you'd have been on your own." Despite his words Olaf was calm and patient as he argued with her.

"I would have called somebody."

"You would have called Elsa. And she's been busy this evening, hence why she asked me to keep an eye out."

Anna raised her hand to argue but she had unwittingly just proved him right. Her foggy mind tried to find a flaw in his logic. There wasn't one. So she latched onto the only other thing she could think of.

"What was Elsa doing this evening that was so damn important anyway?"

"You should ask her yourself," Olaf said patiently.

Anna sat back, regretting getting into an argument with him. He was a sweet guy who genuinely seemed to care about Elsa. So sure, Anna was envious of their friendship. She could admit that in her drunken haze. But he really did seem to be a positive influence on her. _Why couldn't it have been me? What did I do to push you away?_ The thoughts haunted her.

Supported by Olaf, the pair climbed the multitude of steps up to Elsa's apartment. Olaf let himself in with a spare key and Anna filed that mental note away for later. _She trusts you with a spare key._

They both stumbled into the dimly lit room, catching a glance of Elsa on the couch.

"You're in the bedroom," Olaf said, not giving Anna the chance to protest. "She wouldn't be asleep on the couch if she didn't want you to have it." He half dragged half carried Anna into the room.

The bed was easily big enough for them both. There was really no reason they couldn't have shared. It wasn't like they weren't adults now. They could control themselves.

 _On second thought, maybe not._ Anna flushed with heat at the thought of having Elsa's body within such close reach.

"I've got to head off. Here's a bucket in case you're sick." He picked up the bin and handed it to her. She would have laughed if she didn't feel so unwell. _I've been here a day and I'm going to have thrown up twice in her apartment. What a first impression._ She thought grimly.

"I'll catch you tomorrow. Sleep well, Anna." Olaf gave her a warm smile. She waved weakly and watched through the open door as he whispered something inaudible to Elsa on the way out.

"Dammit Elsa... tomorrow... tomorrow I'll sleep on the couch..." Anna murmured as she slumped back onto the bed while cuddling the bin.

* * *

 **A/N: I've never had therapy so apologies if its entirely inaccurate. This is one of the pieces I wrote ages back and have held up posting it because I wasn't sure quite how intimate to make Anna and Hans' relationship. I decided to make it quite weak. After all, lets not lie to ourselves; we are all here for Elsanna (if you are not I am judging you).  
**

 **I got a lot ironed out yesterday so expect updates every few days for next week or so.  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 09 - What does a blue spiky shell thing do?**

Anna regretted her whole life. Every single decision leading up this morning was a mistake. The biggest mistake of them all was thinking alcohol would ease her heart. It hadn't. If anything it had made matters one hundred times worse.

Now Anna was stuck with more problems. The main one being her almost-kiss with Hans. Just what were they to each other? Just what was she to Elsa?

If the hangover hadn't already made her head feel like it had gone through a blender then thinking about her love triangle would. _It's a love triangle now?_ She mocked herself. She was being dramatic. She hadn't even kissed Hans. She had only thought about kissing him. And she had the excuse of being completely wasted. Hell, she hadn't even kissed Elsa in four years.

 _What am I even thinking?_

She rolled out of the bed, her legs giving way under her weight. She landed against the hard flooring, narrowly saving her face from a broken nose. Groaning, she crawled out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. She needed a cold shower. And to possibly throw up. Again.

* * *

Anna walked back into the living space an hour later. The shower had refreshed her and brought her back from the death that was her hangover.

She hadn't stopped arguing with herself over, well, everything but she had finally reached the conclusion she needed to stop these 'dates' with Hans. As much as she enjoyed them the signals just felt wrong. To illustrate this point to herself she'd been trying to imagine him naked. It was doing nothing for her sex drive. When her thoughts drifted to a certain blonde's tongue however... She couldn't deny it. She was living the revival of a four year long rebound. It wasn't fair on her to lead him on or for him to expect anything from her. He was still a pretty awesome guy though. She really hoped he'd understand.

Her thoughts drifted on to Olaf's warnings the night before. Her instinct told her to trust the messy haired boy. But she just couldn't match up his words to what she had seen of Hans. Elsa wasn't that fond of him either-

"Wait, where is Elsa?" Anna frowned as she looked around the apartment. She'd been so caught up in her own thoughts she had barely realised she was completely alone.

Walking over to the kitchen she picked up a note held in place by a snow globe.

"Wait, this snow globe..."

Anna shook it. Her eyes widened in both wonder and disbelief as she watched the snow fall over a castle.

"I gave her this," she breathed.

* * *

Anna had, had an amazing time on her school trip to the North Mountain ski resort. The northern lights illuminated the winter sky. Snow blanketed the endless horizon, reflecting the vibrant sky. It was the most perfect and beautiful place on the planet.

...And she had come here without Elsa.

Despite begging the blonde to join her on this trip she had adamantly refused. After weeks of poking the subject she eventually learnt that Elsa's parents wouldn't allow her to attend. It all seemed crazy considering it was her father who funded the trip for the school. He owned the resort and generously once a year the schools and academies he sponsored got a free pass to use it.

 _What's the point in having all that money if you don't let your own daughter go?_ Anna sighed inwardly as she headed down to the spot she meet Elsa after school on Thursdays.

She nervously played with the wrapped gift in her hands. The more she analysed the present the more stupid it seemed. As if Elsa would want a crappy gift from one of her father's ski resorts. As if the girl would want to be reminded that she didn't go on the trip.

Just as Anna was about to dump the present in the bin, cold hands plucked it from her fingers. Anna jumped.

"A gift?" Elsa asked, holding it up. "Why were you throwing it away?"

"E-erm, it seemed like a good idea at the time but-" She stopped, wincing as Elsa read the tag. She regretted writing the damn thing. She regretted the whole situation. _Why are you such a fool Anna?_

 _To Batman._

 _Next time we'll go together._

 _From Anna._

Elsa caught Anna's eye and all humour faded away. "Batman?" She raised an eyebrow.

Anna bit her lip nervously. _Why, oh why did you write that?_ It was too late to turn back now. "Well... You were pretty much a superhero when you saved me. Plus you have a ton of money and can punch like a pro. So you're basically Batman. Plus you already have that t-shirt," Anna paused to breathe. She bravely looked up to face Elsa. The blonde was standing suitably confused. _Of course she has no idea how to react. How does anyone know what to say to that?_

Elsa opened the present without words. Anna stood stiffly as she watched as the blonde uncovered the small snow globe, eyes widening like saucers.

"...It's so pretty," Elsa murmured, lost within the swirling vortex of snow.

"You actually like it? I mean-ahem-yes, you like it. I really wanted to get you a present. Sorry it's not much. It was a great place. Maybe next time we'll go together."

Anna waited awkwardly as Elsa continued to shake the snow globe in awe. _Has she really never had one of these before? I thought everyone had one._

"I'd like that," Elsa said with a sincere smile, tearing her blue eyes away from the globe to face her directly. "Thank you, Anna."

* * *

She couldn't work out why Elsa would have kept it. Why out of everything she could have packed in her bag to run away with did she think this small ski resort souvenir was worth it?

Anna pulled out her phone and looked over the scratched and battered thing with nostalgia.

"Is it for the same reason I still have this?" She murmured aloud. She had never changed phones after Elsa bought her a top of the range on many years ago. It had been so new and expensive it wasn't even completely out of date 5 years later. Aside from needing a new battery it had worked like a dream. But Anna would use it until it broke either way. And even after that she'd still keep it.

She shook her head to clear her mind of thoughts of Elsa. She was too contradicting to make sense of.

Her eyes glanced over the note.

 _Gone to work._

 _Help yourself to doughnuts._

 _Tonight is pizza and games night at Olaf's._

 _I'll pick you up at 5._

 _Elsa_

Anna was about to question where the doughnuts were when her eyes trailed up the kitchen counter. Her stomach rumbled. She almost leapt across the work surface as she scrambled to them. She pulled out three doughnuts topped with sprinkles. They were even from her favourite cafe.

Anna slumped down on the sofa with the snow globe and doughnuts in hand. She pulled the blanket over herself and snuggled into it, inhaling a deep breath of Elsa's perfume _._

Elsa had remembered so much. There was no way she'd have been so attentive if she didn't care.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking," she murmured.

* * *

Elsa regretted leaving the snow globe. It sent signals she was trying to avoid. So why in the hell did her sleep deprived, hazy morning brain think it was a good idea?

 _And you got her, her favourite doughnuts._ Elsa spent the majority of the day berating herself over it. _Maybe they aren't her favourite anymore. You haven't seen her in four years. Everything could have changed._ She knew it wasn't true. From the first night she saw Anna again she knew nothing had changed. Time had stood still for them both and Elsa was left with the crushing feeling of having let her down. Again.

Games night tonight would be tough.

"You invited Anna, right?" Olaf called from the other side of the desk.

"Of course I did," Elsa sighed in reply as she gazed at her blank screen. She couldn't concentrate enough to work. Why had she even bothered coming in today? They needed to sign off some musical scores in person. That was why. _Olaf could have handled it._ Elsa shook her head at herself. She couldn't just drop everything and expect Olaf to run their work when things got a bit bumpy. No, she had responsibilities now and she was damn well going to make sure she didn't let her personal life mess this up. Working at home would have been even worse. _Like I could concentrate with Anna there. She'd be pestering me like a child._ It took Elsa a good minute to realise she would have enjoyed that, even if she'd have never admitted it out loud.

"Good. Maybe someone will finally be able to beat you at Mario Kart," Olaf said with a wicked smile as he tapped away at his keyboard.

"If Anna beats me at Mario Kart I'll-" Elsa paused as she tried to think of a good enough dare, "-build a real living snowman and name it Olaf."

"Wow, can you really do that?" Olaf leaned right over the desk between the PCs, knocking several things to the floor as he did. It was supposed to be a joke but he was taking it so seriously.

"I don't know? No?" She face-palmed. Fortunately they were the only ones in the office at that moment so no one saw when she threw her stapler at him. It missed and rebounded off the wall.

"Aw man, that'd have been awesome," He sat back with a large grin. As irritating as it was, it was infectious. Elsa relaxed into her chair.

 _Just take it one day at a time. Stop over thinking everything._

* * *

"What does a blue spiky shell thing do?" Anna asked as she threw her kart into a wall as she skidded around a corner. She couldn't get used to the controls. It seemed so easy on the surface but everything was exploding around her. She was getting hit by everyone and everything.

"It does nothing! Don't use it!" Elsa yelled back desperately. Too desperately.

"Use it Anna! Nuke her!" Olaf called over to her. The group of them were leaning closer and closer to the TV as they progressed through the race.

"Quiet you! I swear I will get you with my bananas if you-"

Anna hit the item button cutting off all conversation. Judging by the reaction she felt as if she'd just pressed some big 'do not touch' nuclear missile button.

"Anna you didn't..." Elsa breathed in betrayal.

"Yes!" Olaf cheered as they all watched in slow motion as Elsa's kart exploded. He raced past her, taking first place. Elsa held on fast but the timing was too critical. She finished in second. "The Queen is dethroned!" Olaf raised his controller in victory. Elsa had her head in her hands.

"How could this happen?" She said in disbelief. Her winning streak had ended, and betrayed by Anna no less.

Olaf reached over Elsa to give Anna a fist-bump. "Nice work buddy."

"This means war. You won the race but not the cup. And you-" Elsa wagged her finger at Anna. "I'm not going easy on you. You will eat my dust, Princess Peach!"

Anna couldn't suppress the giggle escaping her throat. She'd seen Elsa serious before but this was on a whole new level. Her friend was caught in the moment and was so free from everything that seemed to hold her back in her day to day life. It was refreshing.

"How about when I get it next time you hit the brakes and it'll hit Olaf instead," Anna suggested, which she felt was pretty clever for her. She could see the cogs turning in Elsa's mind. Her eyes lit up with calculated intrigue.

"That's cheating-"

"It's called forming an alliance," Elsa cut Olaf off as she hit the next race button.

"Anna I thought we were friends!"

Anna smirked and mouthed him an 'I'm sorry' from across the couch.

* * *

Following their intense showdown at Mario Kart, which Elsa won, Anna cracked open a bottle of cider and slumped back down on the sofa beside the blonde. She'd already gone through a few bottles and that buzz of inhibition made her feel like she was on cloud nine. It was however setting off some additional emotions that she didn't want to be feeling. Alcohol had always freed her. That shot of Dutch courage was exactly what it was; all of the confidence and bravery she never had while sober. Emotions and feelings felt so much more vibrant. It was primarily the reason why every time she had been out clubbing on campus she had been bold enough to pick up other girls. None of them were Elsa though. And now sitting here beside the blonde all she could think about were far more intimate things. She was both grateful and disappointed Olaf was present. If he wasn't here she'd had liked nothing more than to pin the blonde to the couch and have her way with her. But Elsa would no doubt have objected anyway and with Olaf here she had no opportunity to experience either of those outcomes.

Olaf caught Anna's eye. "I'm going to pick up the pizza order." It was as if he read her mind. Anna sat up straighter.

"What? Why? They will deliver," Elsa said, completely oblivious to Anna's intentions.

"Yeah but we get 20% off if we collect. I'll be back in half an hour." It wasn't up for debate.

"We could have afforded it," Elsa sighed as Olaf headed out the door.

An awkward silence descended upon the pair. Anna wanted to speak but it was hard to find the right words. She had never needed words when on nights out. Dancing to deafeningly loud music was all that had ever been required.

"Can I get you a drink?" She finally settled with.

"I don't drink," Elsa replied, turning her full attention to Anna. There was judgement in those blue eyes and the redhead shrunk back. "This is your third night drinking. Do you drink this much at home?"

 _This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go._ Anna winced.

"It really depends whether I have 9am lectures," She replied without thinking. _The correct answer was no, doofus._ She berated herself. Elsa's expression didn't change and those eyes gazed into her soul. She was certain the blonde could read her mind, her every intention.

* * *

Elsa was lost in Anna's dim eyes. The redhead wasn't exactly an expert at hiding her feelings and with just a few drinks the alcohol had amplified everything. Olaf had seen it too and left on purpose, of that she had no doubt.

 _I'm not doing this in his apartment._ The ding from her phone made her finally pull her eyes away from Anna. She glanced down at the message from Olaf.

 _Go for it! X_

 _Gods._ He really was trying to set them up. She could have frozen him solid for pulling this little stunt. So much for her temporary alliance with Anna in Mario Kart. Those two had been in it together from the start.

She looked back up at Anna. Had she gotten closer? _Just what is she thinking? What am I thinking?_ Elsa tore herself away again and tried to slow her racing thoughts. Having the redhead so close and so willing was too much for her. _Would drinking solve this?_ But instantly she shook her head. _No, I need a straight mind. If I lose control..._

"Elsa," Anna purred from beside her. She was definitely getting closer. And the way she was saying her name so longingly. A shiver of need rushed through the blonde. _If I give in just for a moment... Is that even fair?_

"Anna," Elsa said patiently, taking the redhead's hand in her own in an attempt to placate her. If anything it was just firing them both up even more. "You've been drinking. I don't want you to make these decisions without a clear head."

"These decisions are supposed to be made quickly and without thought. We will have all the time in the morning to think about it. Just enjoy the moment," Anna replied, leaning in as she did. Making a split second decision which she knew she'd regret, Elsa caught Anna's face in her hands before the redhead could claim a kiss. Gods, did she just want to sit back and submit to Anna. Every outcome from this was a loaded gun. She'd lose no matter what she did. _So why not just enjoy it?_ She couldn't.

"Anna," she began patiently, trying to work out how she could possibly fix this.

"You loved me once. Can't we just pretend?" The emotion in Anna's voice sent another fracture through Elsa's fragile heart.

How could she turn around and give the redhead all of the assurance and hope she wished for when it would only hurt more later? She couldn't. She wouldn't.

"What did I do to make you hate me?" Anna asked, unshed tears shining in those eyes.

"I don't hate you. I just..." Elsa didn't know what to say. She desperately wanted to get the words out that would ease her conscience but she wasn't brave enough. _It's the opposite. I care about you too much. That's why this is so hard. If you knew what I was..._

Anna withdrew back and took another swig of her cider.

"...I just need time to sort my head out."

"You've had four years," the bitterness in her voice made Elsa shudder.

She closed her eyes tight as she drowned in her own fierce internal debate. _Just tell her Elsa. Just do it._

She snapped up as she heard the door go. For a split second she assumed Olaf was back early. Realisation hit her like a punch in the face. _That stupid girl._ Elsa was on her feet already chasing the redhead out the door. She grabbed Anna's arm in the hall.

"Where are you going?"

"So you are allowed to run away and I'm not?" Anna cocked an eyebrow.

 _I really asked for that._ Elsa gritted her teeth, not able to argue it. "I'm worried about you," she hoped she was saying it in a way that conveyed just how true the statement was. The disappointment in Anna's face told her she hadn't succeeded.

"I can't do this Elsa! I can't keep being shut out. I want to stick it out, I really do..." Anna hesitated, looking down at where Elsa was still holding her arm. "But you need to give me something back here. You are sending me so many mixed signals. Do you care or don't you?"

With a heavy heart Elsa let go of Anna's arm. Anna was right, she was sending too many mixed signals.

 _Tell her._

Anna flinched from the loss of contact. As if that answered her question, she sharply turned on her heel and walked away.

 _Say it. Tell her._

No words could escape Elsa's lips. She hung her head in regret and shame as she watched Anna leave.

 _Is this how she felt when I left?_

* * *

 **A/N: I had a lot of trouble getting this chapter (and the next) to flow as I didn't initially want this argument to happen. What I REALLY wanted to happen was for Anna to have her wicked drunken way with Elsa. But because of later chapters which I've already written I couldn't work that in. Sorry guys. It won't be much longer until you get some action.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 - You're not running away from this, Elsa**

Elsa stood stiffly as Anna, an uncontrollable ball of energy was quite literally hurling her whole vocabulary at her parents. Why did she ever believe letting Anna talk at all would be a smart decision?

"So you see my parents do this awesome camping trip every year and it's more than just camping its hiking and adventure and surviving in the wilderness. It'll just be a week and it'll fly by, not that I'd want it to be over quickly-I really don't! A friend was supposed to come with us and we already have the pass and the equipment and the tent but she dropped out so I really thought Elsa would like to come. She hardly gets out of this stuffy house-your house isn't stuffy! That was the wrong word. Your house is lovely! It's just big and empty-I mean well decorated!"

Elsa held a hand to her head. Anna always rambled when she was nervous and today she seemed to be worse than ever. Elsa had stopped listening to the ramblings as she focused on catching Anna take a pause to breathe. It took far longer than it should have.

"What Anna is trying to say," Elsa finally slipped in, "is it's not just a holiday. It's an extracurricular activity in which I'll be given an award at the end. It will look good on my CV. I understand that my position affords me the luxury of not requiring a CV but I'd like to try. I can't inherit the company without standing on my own feet first."

Elsa held her head high and looked her parents in the eye. She could see their reluctance. Iduna turned to Agnarr and placed her hand on his shoulder. The pair shared a short and hushed conversation.

"It'll be good for her."

"Can we really trust her to be ok alone?"

Elsa held her breath as she listened to the muffled whispers. Was this actually working?

Seeming to have come to a decision, her parents turned back to face her and Elsa straightened to face them.

"One week." Agnarr nodded to his daughter betraying no emotion. Elsa didn't need to see Anna to know she was almost bouncing off the walls beside her.

"Thank you, Father, Mother." Elsa suppressed all excitement and anxiety as she kept her composed and formal mask on before her parents. Only when she had been dismissed and they were back in Elsa's bedroom did she finally relax and smile.

"This is so exciting!" Anna squeaked. Her energy was infectious.

"It is," Elsa agreed as she watched her best friend hunt around her room for suitable clothes.

Usually at the moment when Elsa was about to do something big without her parent's protection her stomach would be twisting and turning in fear and anxiety. One slip up with her powers could cost her everything. She let out a happy sigh as she watched Anna. She didn't understand why but being around her just made everything feel right.

"You really have so many dresses. Don't you have any real clothes in here?" Anna called from the large walk-in wardrobe. "I'm pretty certain this is bigger than my room!" She added as clothes came flying out.

Elsa dodged as a dress flew past her face.

"Do you always have to make such a mess?" Elsa evaded a shoe as she inched closer.

"It's mandatory! Especially since I can't find anything you can hike in under all of these fancy clothes. You literally have more clothes than my whole family put together!" Anna seemed to pause at that and Elsa saw the cogs turning in her mind.

"Maybe we need a shopping trip first-"

"No we are not going shopping."

"Oh come on! We can ditch your babysitter and have fun. There is a cinema and bowling alley there too."

Elsa held a hand to her head again as if that helped her to think straight. When she opened her eyes Anna was impossibly close to her. She could count each one of those adorable freckles dusted on her cheeks. Her eyes lazily trailed up her cheekbone and were captured by Anna's teal gaze. Elsa blushed.

"Fine!" She exhaled a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. She needed to put some distance between herself and Anna before her thoughts wandered too much. It was at that moment the gravity of spending a whole week cramped into a tent with the redhead really hit her. They'd have sleeping bags right beside each other no doubt. Her parents would be there, which Elsa wasn't sure whether that was a positive or negative. Either way she'd be in Anna's continuous company for the longest time in their lives. ...And she could barely keep herself grounded for an afternoon. _I need to stop thinking. I really need to stop thinking._ Elsa took slow and deep breaths as Anna continued to pack her bag.

"Perfect! And afterwards you can stay at mine. We'll be leaving at an ungodly hour so it makes sense." Anna's smile lit up the room.

Elsa sighed in defeat. It was a happy defeat though.

"My parents will probably ground me after this, you know that right? They approved the camping but just taking off, going shopping and then spending the night at yours? They will lose it." But for reasons Elsa couldn't pinpoint she wasn't afraid.

 _Maybe I've absorbed Anna's carefree and bold attitude by some sort of weird osmosis. Maybe my powers can do that._ Elsa mused at the thought of it.

She helped Anna pack the rest of what she needed.

Slinging the bag across her shoulder the pair crept out of her room and headed through the manor house. It was only when Elsa reached the front door did a voice catch her off guard.

"Miss Arendelle, your parents are expecting you for afternoon tea in 30 minutes." Kai reminded her from across the hall. Elsa took a breath to steel herself before turning to face him, her unyielding mask in place.

"Kai. Please inform my parents that I will be staying at Miss Summer's tonight. I'll be home in a week." Elsa instructed him with all the poised confidence her father possessed.

"Your father will not approve."

"I do not need my father's approval for everything. Tell him I'll be home safe... And..." she hesitated, "tell him I love him," She added with all the strength she could muster. She rarely gave in to displays of emotion but she hoped it would be enough to placate her parents.

With that Elsa turned on her heel and marched from the manor.

"Miss Summers?" Anna smirked once they were outside. "Do you always call me Miss Summers to the staff?"

"Sometimes." Elsa shrugged while smiling back. She tossed her bag into the backseat of the ice blue convertible BMW and jumped into the driver's seat.

"Are you ready, Miss Summers?" She teased as she turned on the ignition.

"More than ready, Miss Arendelle," Anna played along with a twinkle in her eye as they took off down the long driveway.

* * *

Anna was still tipsy from the drink but the cold night air was sobering her up more quickly than she wanted. It meant she was able to analyse her rash argument more rationally and it was something she really didn't want to face. Walking out was stupid but she wouldn't let herself regret it. She was supposed to be being patient with Elsa and here she was flying off the rails after one rejection. She considered going back and apologising but stopped herself. As petty as it was she wanted Elsa to go through the worry of watching someone she cared about walk out on her. _That's assuming she does actually care._ Fleeting thoughts drifted back to the snow globe. _She does care. She is holding back._ Coming to that conclusion made it no less frustrating.

She dialled Kristoff's number as she walked aimlessly though the streets. She needed someone to talk to. Or better yet someone to talk to her so she could stop thinking about Elsa.

 _"Hey Feisty."_

Anna smiled through the tears. Just hearing a friendly voice was comforting.

 _"Anna?"_ He said seriously when she didn't respond.

"Sorry, I'm here. I just wanted someone to talk to. So erm, how are you doing?" She asked as she walked.

A brief pause. "...You're _upset,"_ he noted, voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, rejection is a bitch, huh?"

 _"Oh, Anna,"_ he said in pity. _"Where are you now?"_

"I'm ok. I'm going to check into a hotel." _When I find one._ Anna looked up and down the dimly lit street. She had no idea where she was, not that she cared. Her feet continued moving and she carried on.

 _"Good. Are you sure you don't want me to come pick you up now?"_

"It's late. You'd literally spend your entire night driving, but thank you. I'll catch the train back in a few days."

 _"Not giving up then?"_ She could practically see him grinning as he spoke.

"You know me, a sucker for punishment," she said lightly as she paused at traffic lights. She kept her eyes peeled for speeding cars this time around. "So, anyway. Tell me how things are with you," she made small talk. Anything to stop thinking about what was happening in her life.

"I'm still doing my part time internship at Weselton Pharmaceuticals. They've got me helping out on some research projects. It's mostly just the leg work: looking after cell cultures, checking in every day and taking recordings but all of the data I collect will be in a paper one day. It's really exciting. You know I could put the good word in for you. They are thinking of taking another few students on."

"I'd never make it through the interview process," Anna sighed. Not only that her grades just weren't good enough. The competition for an internship there would be unreal. That sort of experience could set up a career.

"Well, I'll mention your name anyway. Apply for it when the adverts go out and put me down in the referral section."

Anna zoned out from Kristoff's talking as her eye caught a familiar figure across the street. Without realising it she had drifted from the housing estates into a more built up shopping district. And over the road Hans was smiling back at her.

 _You said you weren't going to do this to him. Or yourself._ She closed her eyes. When she looked up again he was gone. She breathed a sigh of relief. Having to explain this mess to Hans really wasn't what she needed.

"Sorry Kristoff, I zoned out," she apologised to him.

"Hey, what are you doing out so late on your own?" Hans' concerned voice asked from behind her, making her almost jump out of her skin. Just how he had crossed the road so quickly and sneakily Anna would never know.

"I-I-"

 _"You ok, Anna?"_ Kristoff's voice buzzed from the phone.

"Sorry Kristoff, got to dash. I'll text you when I'm at my hotel." And at that Anna hung up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You looked lost," Hans said as he took Anna's chin in one hand. She flushed with a combination of nerves and embarrassment as he examined her face closely. "You've been crying. Is it Elsa again?" He asked flatly.

Anna bit her lip. _Yes it is Elsa but you can't just tell everyone that._ She paused mid-thought. _Why can't I tell everyone that? The girl is being completely unfair... But bitching to her boss-I mean partner is a horrible thing to do. But he is also my friend. Potentially more. No, don't even go there Anna. You fall in love with everyone after a few drinks. For once take Elsa's advice and try thinking about things when you're sober. You already made up your mind this morning. Why do you have to run to someone else every-_

"Anna?" Hans asked in concern. She snapped sharply out of her internal struggle. "I asked you if you wanted to stay in my spare room tonight."

Anna blinked. Taking no more than a second to process the offer she said, "yes.'

* * *

Elsa winced as Olaf knocked loudly to announce his entrance. She wanted to throttle him when he took those few extra seconds to open the door.

"Don't even bother. She's gone," Elsa grumbled as she sat gazing at Anna's half finished bottle of cider. She had been tempted to drink, and potentially do worse, on more than one occasion but the fear of unleashing her power with no inhibitions had always scared her more than easing her frozen heart. Even so, the idea of getting blinding drunk and saying a big fuck you to the world was all too appealing at the present moment.

"What did you do?" Olaf popped the pizza boxes down before folding his arms. He gave Elsa one of those accusatory looks as if it couldn't have possibly been Anna's fault.

"It was what I didn't do which was the problem," Elsa replied, holding the bridge of her nose as she did. All of this was too much.

"Live in denial all you like but the moment she meets another person you'll going to regret letting her go. If she wants to be with you so badly you should respect her enough to trust her judgement."

It was everything Elsa did and didn't need to hear. It was true she never trusted Anna to make any decisions. The redhead was too trusting and too naive.

"I'll think about it," Elsa didn't commit. She rose to her feet and walked to the door, grabbing her coat on the way.

"At least take a box of pizza with you. And call me when you find Anna. And again when you get in," he said as he handed her a box. Elsa hesitated but took it. She wanted to thank Olaf for his concern but she wasn't thankful. She was furious with him, with Anna and most of all with herself.

* * *

Anna wasn't surprised in the slightest when she walked into Hans' large apartment in the city centre. It was everything Elsa's wasn't: large, modern and expensive. His father co-founded Arendelle Corp after all. He was rolling in it as much as Elsa was, or would have been if she accepted her parent's money.

"Just through here," Hans beckoned her down a hallway. A smile played on her lips as the automatic lights flicked on. _Ok, so that is pretty damn cool._ She admitted as Hans let her into a spare bedroom. "You can stay as long as you like. I don't want you going back to her if she's going to keep upsetting you."

Anna laughed nervously. How had she ended up in the lap of such a kind guy she'd never know. Any normal girl would be swooning over him. Maybe she was swooning just a little. "Things are just complicated. It's not just Elsa, I'm not helping things either," she jumped to Elsa's defence and immediately gave herself a mental telling off. _Everything is not your fault, Anna. Stop telling everyone it is._

"Hey," Hans lifted her chin so she had to look into those green eyes. "You don't need to rush things."

Anna gazed up at him, caught in a whirlwind of conflict.

"I know what; my father is hosting his annual Winter Ball at his manor in a few days time. Why don't you come along?" He offered. "It'd be a good opportunity for you to meet new people and if nothing else the food and drink are always incredible."

Anna blinked. He was inviting her out again. She stopped herself from blurting out yes. This was exactly what she was trying to avoid. Then again she had just accepted to sleep in his spare room. If that wasn't sending mixed signals she didn't know what was. _I am literally Elsa._ She would have face-palmed if Hans wasn't standing so close. _She just rejected you. Go to the party, have a few drinks and enjoy yourself._

"That sounds great, thank you."

* * *

When Elsa walked into work the following day she wasn't aware just how exhausted she looked.

"Christ, Elsa. Did you not get any sleep?" Olaf asked her in concern from across the desk.

She didn't reply. She sipped her coffee, hoping the liquid caffeine would revive her. She had almost called in sick but being stuck in that apartment alone was enough to drive her insane.

Anna hadn't come home the previous night and she had spent much of it out looking for the innocent redhead. She'd phoned around hotels and hospitals, unable to shake the fear something terrible had befallen her. She checked her phone again. Still no response to her calls or messages. It was getting to the point where she was seriously considering calling her mother. As Anna's next of kin there was every chance her parent's would be informed if the redhead was indeed admitted to hospital or picked up by the police. She gazed at her blank phone screen again. She still wasn't ready to face her parents.

 _You've made your point, Anna. I'm worried. I'm sorry._ It was the last thing Elsa had sent her. What more could she say?

"Elsa, Oliver," Hans greeted them both with a wide smile.

"It's Olaf," the boy deadpanned.

"Right, Oscar. I was just coming to find out if you two were going to my father's ball. Your parents should have your invite," he told Elsa and then turned to Olaf. "But I'm not sure if I gave you one. Here, bring a nice lady." Hans handed him an invitation. Olaf tentatively took it.

"Oh, and Anna is ok by the way."

Elsa froze. She turned very slowly from her screen to face Hans.

"She stayed at mine last night. She'll be attending the ball as my guest," he said in a light and cheery tone.

Elsa wore no mask. Her face gave away all of her thoughts. Disapproval, irritation, mistrust and most of all envy; all of it was clear as day.

"Maybe I'll catch you both there." He didn't seem to take any notice. "See you later, Elsa, Otis."

Elsa sat stunned as he walked away. Olaf was halfway across the desk before the door had even closed.

"We're going, right?" He hissed.

Elsa spun back around slowly to meet Olaf's eye.

"Dammit Elsa, he is introducing Anna to his parents. You need to do something! Like show up and steal her back," he whispered.

 _He's taking Anna to a formal event. A formal event which my parents are invited to._ Elsa closed her eyes to think. She couldn't just show up. She couldn't just steal her back-

"I'm signing us up," Olaf sat back.

Elsa looked up at him immediately, shaking her head slowly but his firm expression didn't change.

"You're not running away from this, Elsa. You're going to get out there and sort this even if I have to drag you out."

* * *

 **A/N: I'm estimating we're about a third of the way through this story now. We're about to get into the good stuff so strap yourself in.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 - You pass, Miss Arendelle. Top marks**

Anna climbed through the foliage with Elsa hot on her heels. This was their last night camping and after a week of exhausting hiking, canoeing, climbing and adventure they finally had an evening of freedom from her parents.

Anna had planned it down to the last detail. The location she had picked was sheltered but private. There was a nearby stream overlooked by rocky caves. In the clearing she set her bag down.

"Right, I think we're far enough away."

"And here I was just getting used to your parents," Elsa teased. "Are you going to tell me why you brought a bag? Or even what we are doing out here?"

"Patience." Anna held up one hand as she slowly began to take out an unlabelled box.

"The irony of that is lost on you isn't it?" Elsa cocked an eyebrow. Anna shot her a smug smile in return knowing full well Elsa thought she was the least patient person in the world.

 _If only she knew how patient I've been this week._ Anna's heart was pounding even as she set up.

"I need you to sit here," Anna gestured to the clearing below. Elsa silently obeyed.

"And put this on," She added as she handed Elsa a blindfold. The blonde shot her a quizzical look but nevertheless tied it on.

"So, Miss Arendelle." Anna began using her mock formal tone. "I've been told you are the best when it comes to identifying chocolate flavours. I couldn't possibly believe it so I'm putting you to the test. Are you ready?"

Elsa nodded silently although Anna caught a small smile playing on her lips.

Anna held the chocolate truffle to Elsa's lips and gently fed her.

"Praline and coffee soft centre. Dark chocolate shell." The reply was immediate and without hesitation.

"Correct. Damn you're fast."

"I am more concerned, and impressed, with how you managed to carry a box of chocolates this whole trip without telling me... or eating them yourself," Elsa spoke as Anna pulled another out of the box. She didn't grace the blonde with a reply. If she hadn't been so apprehensive about this moment she knew that box wouldn't have lasted the week.

"Rum and coconut. You are going to have to try harder if you want to beat me." The challenge was laid down.

Anna's heart was thumping in her chest as she tried to pick her moment. She fed Elsa two more chocolates, which she identified with lightning precision.

Anna took a deep breath.

"So I have a special one now," she struggled to keep her voice level. Elsa waited patiently. Anna hesitated as she drew in close to her friends face. She gazed down at her pale pink lips, slightly parted in anticipation. Anna had to hold her heart for a second to pluck up the courage again. Slowly and delicately she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Elsa's.

* * *

Elsa knew. She knew as soon as Anna touched her it was happening yet her mind couldn't quite make sense of it. She sat frozen. As their lips parted she realised in a moment of clarity what she wanted. What she _needed_.

Elsa pulled her blindfold off and gazed into Anna's teal eyes. Uncertainty and shame gazed back at her, alongside something much darker.

"I-I don't know what I was think-"

Elsa didn't allow her to finish. She pressed her lips back against Anna's. Her body jolted with a thrill as she pushed the redhead to the floor. Her tongue pushed past those soft lips, capturing the sweet taste of chocolate and cinnamon. She came up for air a moment later and both girls laid entwined breathlessly on the earthy woodland soil.

"Elsa..." Anna's voice was laced with need. Elsa could see the dark desire in her best friend's dim eyes and it momentarily blinded her. Elsa took Anna's hands in her own and leaned down to kiss the redhead even more deeply. All at once she forgot her own fears and dropped her guard completely. Anna wanted exactly what she wanted, she was now certain, and out here in the middle of nowhere nothing was there to hold them back. Forgotten was her father and her power. She was solely filled with the simple yet pure desire for Anna.

She leaned down again and peppered light kisses behind her ear. Anna let out a moan in delight.

"Have, have you done this before?" Anna asked breathlessly as fingers played with Elsa's braid.

"No." Elsa pulled away to face her, unashamed. "Have you?" Her eyes narrowed.

"No," Anna breathed. Elsa gave her a knowing look before getting back to peppering kisses over her throat. For one of the few times in her life Elsa felt completely in control.

Anna's hands trailed from her braid down to the blonde's t-shirt.

"You want me to take it off?" Elsa asked in a mix of mild amusement and a spark of anxiety. _We are really doing this._

"Oh I really do," Anna replied too quickly, too desperately. It fuelled the fire building within the blonde and pushing all other thoughts aside, Elsa pulled it off and discarded it. She looked down from where she straddled Anna and played with her t-shirt.

"I think it's only fair," she whispered hotly into the redhead's ear as she slowly pulled her shirt up, deliberately caressing her length as she did. She felt Anna shudder beneath her.

Anna put up no resistance as Elsa tossed her t-shirt aside. The girls took a moment to allow their eyes to drink up each other.

Elsa leaned down again, her hands reaching beneath Anna. She only paused when she found the clip to her bra.

"May I?" She husked. It was an unnecessary question, really. She felt the electricity from Anna. It was what they both wanted. What they _needed_.

Anna nodded and Elsa, within no more than a breath had tossed her bra aside. She took her sweet time gazing over the redhead's bare chest. The freckles from her shoulders dusted down her body like icing sugar. With a sly smile she leaned down and planted more kisses over each freckle. She hesitated as she reached an erect nipple. Flashing Anna a grin, she bit it.

Anna's back arched and she let out a gasp which filled Elsa with even more fire.

"You are too precious," she murmured as she planted a trail of kisses back up to Anna's lips.

"This is hardly fair," Anna breathed between kisses. Elsa felt warm hands reach behind her. She did not resist as Anna unlatched her bar. The redhead tossed it into the rest of their clothes.

"Better?" Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"Much better," Anna let out a happy sigh. They pressed their bodies together as they shared another deep kiss. During the contact Elsa's knee rode up and pressed against Anna's core. From the ragged breaths she knew Anna was as ready as she was. Both of them needed this. Both of them needed each other. Elsa's mind was hazy as she found her fingers playing with the button on Anna's jeans.

"Let me make you feel good." It wasn't a question but Anna responded with a kiss all the same. With remarkably quick work Elsa had her jeans off. The only thing separating her from her prize was quite possibly the most adorable pair of panda printed underwear.

"Oh you are too cute," Elsa purred as she trailed kisses from Anna's mouth down her body. She paused at her thigh and she felt Anna grip her hair in anticipation.

A moment of realisation hit her. She was about to do to her best friend something she had only thought of in her deepest and darkest dreams. For a brief moment she wanted to pull away, run away.

"Elsa..." Anna's moan was full of lust. It was all the blonde needed to stay grounded. She'd do anything to hear her say her name so longingly again.

With a tentative yet exhilarating breath, Elsa slipped Anna's underwear off. Face flushed from seeing the full sight of her, Elsa began slowly, exploring the redhead with a finger first. She wasn't sure how to please Anna but she'd learn quickly. Fortunately for her, Anna was as equally needy and desperate to be pleased because every stoke and jolt from Elsa's fingers tore a moan from her sweet lips.

Using her free arm to hold the redhead's thigh in place and the other, Elsa boldly pressed her lips against Anna's clit. She could barely suppress her glee at Anna's exaggerated moans. Her body arched beneath her at the contact but Elsa held her steady.

She read Anna's reactions, picking up every detail. She couldn't let herself think of the future but for as long as they fumbled in the woods tonight she'd make sure her lover had the time of her life.

"E-Elsa-" Anna's nails dug into the blonde's head as she let out a longer moan. Her back arched again, for longer this time and Elsa felt the red head shake beneath her as she reached her climax.

"Oh my god. Have you really never done that before?" Anna asked raggedly. She laid back on the soil completely spent.

Elsa climbed back up her body, wiping her mouth as she reached a level with Anna.

"I may have a library in my house which contains a number of not safe for work books." Her eyes sparkled with mirth.

"So you studied before the exam."

"I study before all of my exams, Miss Summers. Now what I want to know is if I passed." Elsa leaned down and captured those lips again, leaving the pair of them breathless.

"Oh... you pass, Miss Arendelle. Top marks."

* * *

Anna's soul was on fire. When she had leaned in to kiss Elsa her only thoughts were on the inevitable rejection. Then the impossible happened. Not only did Elsa return those feelings but she went a step further. Ten steps further. She took control of the moment and Anna relished being at her mercy.

Anna could have laid there all night and been in heaven but with Elsa's ragged breath tickling her neck she realised the woman was in as much heat as Anna had been.

 _It's my turn._ She closed her eyes for a moment, her already flushed cheeks growing hotter as thoughts of what she'd do in return both thrilled and embarrassed her.

Elsa had been so confident and sure of herself. Meanwhile Anna hadn't read any of those books nor had any sexual experiences. She was going to make a fool of herself she was sure. What if she couldn't make Elsa feel as good as the blonde had just made her feel?

Drawing on any strength she had left she rolled Elsa over so Anna now sat on top.

"I guess it's my turn." She knew she lacked the conviction Elsa had. She gazed down into those brilliant blue eyes and was met with a dark desire and... patience.

 _She can see right through me._

"Speak to me," Elsa prompted her gently.

 _I really am as open as a book._

"...How did you know what to do?" Anna asked. She couldn't keep her uncertainly hidden.

"I did what felt right," Elsa replied, a hand caressing the red head's side as she did. Anna almost purred in contentment. That was cheating. She was trying to have a serious conversation here.

"You were so sure and confident," Anna let out a sigh, pushing Elsa's hand away before it could fog her already hazy mind. At this Elsa pulled herself upright so Anna was now straddling her lap.

"It's not a competition," Elsa said with a sharp clarity, taking Anna's face in her hands. "I have all I want right here. You can do as much or as little as you want and that will be ok. And..." she hesitated for a moment. "I am never confident. It's simply a mask I wear. Inside I am just as uncertain as you, about everything. In fact, I believe you have so much more inner strength than me. It's just so difficult for me to express anything else."

Anna was unprepared for the confession. Elsa was always so strong. She struggled to believe it was an act. Then again she'd seen the mask slip several fleeting times. The girl underneath was full of emotions: excitement at outsmarting the headmaster, fear of her father's punishment, anger at the netball squad.

She just needs someone to believe in her and give her some support. Someone to show her she can express herself without judgement. A thrill rushed through Anna as she realised she could be that person. She would be that person.

"I am terrified of messing this up. I mess everything up after all. Just like that time-" Anna was cut off by a passionate kiss.

"It's ok. It'll always be ok," Elsa promised breathlessly as they parted.

Anna melted under the kiss. It was all of the reassurance she needed.

"I think it's only fair we get these off of you," Anna murmured as she reached down to belt on Elsa's jeans.

Elsa obliged without resistance. Anna scooted up and tried to help with what Elsa had made look so easy when their roles had been reversed. Now all she was doing was making it more difficult as the tight fabric stuck to Elsa's thin frame.

"I really do love how skinny jeans show off every curve of your legs," _and butt_ , "but have you ever considered not wearing them? Maybe a skirt? Maybe something I can actually take off without looking like a total fool?" Anna said as she struggled against the fabric.

"Maybe if I lay back..." Elsa wiggled, doing her best to help, not that it was helping much.

"Can you even get these off on your own?" Anna asked, not believing it was possible. Before Elsa could even grace her with an answer Anna pulled, the jeans came free and the redhead stumbled backwards. There was a sudden rush of cold alongside the loud splash of water. Anna laid still for a moment in the mercifully shallow stream.

 _I am the biggest doofus in the land of doofuses. Is that even plural for doofus?_

Elsa's wide eyes snapped her back to reality.

 _I'm thinking about the plural for doofus while my gorgeous girlfriend is waiting for me sleep with her. Christ. What is wrong with me?_

 _...She is my girlfriend now, right?_

"Anna!" Elsa's voice was laboured as she leapt into the stream and pulled Anna up and out into strong arms. "You're frozen!" She fussed over her. Anna tried to brush her off but the shivering was doing nothing to help her case.

"Put my jacket on," Elsa insisted as she parted with Anna only for a moment to dig through their pile of discarded clothes.

"I'm going to make it wet-"

"I don't care! You're wearing it!" It was not up for discussion. Anna sighed but accepted the jacket thrust out to her regardless. She wrapped it around herself and relaxed into the warmth. An arm wrapped around her and drew her close.

"Elsa, you're going to freeze too," Anna said in concern, although she wasn't complaining about being pressed up against her body. Suddenly the coat felt like too much of a barrier.

"The cold doesn't bother me," Elsa assured her nonchalantly.

"The cold bothers everyone," Anna said as she rolled her eyes.

"Yes but I'm not everyone, am I?"

 _No, you certainly aren't._ Anna leaned back onto the earthy soil, pulling Elsa back with her. Now they were both laid under the twilight sky, the first stars of the night beginning to blink through, Anna had realised just how chilly the weather had gotten. How was Elsa not even shivering? She glanced over to the blonde beside her, still amazed their feelings were mutual.

 _I'm so lucky._ She purred in contentment as she she reflected on what Elsa had done. She was abruptly tugged from her moment of bliss as she realised she hadn't given Elsa that release yet.

 _Gods I am useless._

"I still need to finish you off," Anna murmured, hand trailing down the blonde's body. Elsa caught it. Anna cocked her head in confusion but Elsa's eyes's were as firm as her grasp.

"As much as I want that, I went too fast for you. Save it for next time."

The pang of disappointment Anna felt from Elsa's words was at war with the relief. She wanted to ravish that body but at the same time she was almost too scared to touch it. Elsa was like a prize, too perfect and too fragile to handle.

 _Next time._ Anna shuddered in anticipation as she repeated the words in her mind. Elsa wanted to do this again and she was happy to go slow. Anna could take her time and make sure she got it right.

They laid in silence as they watched the sky darken. Bright stars awoke and flickered in ways she had never seen before. It was so unlike any view she'd get back home.

The night held a serenity which Anna was loathed to break. Just her and Elsa needing nothing but each other's company. But time was slipping away and her parents would be worried.

"Hey, Elsa? We better get back otherwise my dad will flip," Anna said but made no attempt to move.

"Yeah," Elsa agreed, sitting up. Anna watched mesmerised as the blonde walked across the moonlit clearing and retrieved her clothes. She bit her lip as the Elsa bent over.

"Quit staring and get dressed," Elsa didn't even need to turn around. She both looked and sounded serious but Anna spotted the playful undertone. She grinned wickedly, watching her all the more closely. With a barely concealed smirk Elsa tossed her clothes over in retaliation.

"Alright, alright I'm coming!" Anna laughed before dressing herself.

She took Elsa's hand as they headed away from the clearing, mind full of hope and excitement over what the future held for them both.

* * *

 **A/N: Made you wait quite a few chapters for that. I hope it was worth it.  
**

 **While writing I draw a lot of inspiration from the music I'm listening to. Aside from the Frozen Broadway CD I've been obsessing over Florence and the Machine recently. If you want a soundtrack for this chapter check out her single Hunger from her latest album.  
**

 **FYI I have no idea why Iduna and Agnarr have hot lesbian erotica in their library, but they do, and Elsa has read it all.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – She is perfect**

The snow blew gently in the afternoon wind. An intricate flake landed on the palm of Elsa's hand. It didn't melt, at least not right away. She admired its detail, lost in the fractals.

It was strange really, her infatuation with winter. The cold air, the snow, wrapping up in scarves and drinking hot chocolate; all of it appealed to her. Yet she feared her power more than anything else.

 _Why am I like_ _this?_ It was a question she had asked herself almost constantly since first discovering she could magic up ice in the blink of an eye. The desire to be normal was a distant dream. She thought she had grappled with it after moving here and starting a business but Anna... Anna had complicated things. Elsa wouldn't regret seeing her lover again but she did lament the chaos it had brought upon her new life and most of all the pain she was inflicting on Anna.

"You'll be ok, Elsa," Olaf assured her as he put one arm around her.

She looked up, her focus on the snowflake lost, and with that the fragile thing melted.

"This is going to be awful," Elsa murmured as she thought ahead to what she was facing: a winter ball at the Westergard Estate. She hadn't attended a formal event in years. It was to her advantage that she hadn't met the Westergards since she was a child, and even then she didn't remember them. She had given her name as Winters on her RSVP, hoping the few who knew otherwise wouldn't make it known that she'd be there. The more she thought on it the more she wondered why she was even bothering.

 _Anna will be thrilled you're there._ She could have face-palmed. Why did she keep acting like an idiot around Anna? It was a rhetorical question, she knew exactly why.

"Anna will be thrilled you're there. It'll be a good chance for you both to have a nice time without having to worry. You're a pro at formal events." And like always, Olaf knew exactly what she was thinking, minus the part about her being a professional. She was anything but that.

"I shouldn't be leading her on and you shouldn't be encouraging me," Elsa retorted, shrugging Olaf off. She had always admired his optimism and positivity but in this instance it was beyond irritating. He knew exactly why she kept her distance with Anna. Why she had left home.

Olaf arched an eyebrow, which only served to annoy her even more.

"Before we met face to face you told me you loved her," he reminded her and Elsa visibly flinched. Hearing it out loud made it seem so much more real. Taking deep and deliberate breaths, she calmed herself before a storm started.

"And judging by that reaction and pretty much every reaction before that, you still do. As your friend, I'm not letting you throw that away-"

"You know exactly why I must," Elsa cut him off sharply.

Olaf gave her a sad smile as he shook his head. He knew not to push her in this mood. Like a gentleman, he silently opened the passenger door to her car.

For a moment Elsa considered pushing him aside and driving herself but her thoughts were too erratic. She didn't drop the steely expression as she got in, nor for the long journey up to the Westergard estate outside of town.

 _What if mother is here?_ Elsa had considered it almost constantly since Olaf said they were attending. _No. She'll be with father._ She shook her head. Relief made way to shame. She knew she shouldn't have been pleased about that but even so, she still was.

Against her will thoughts lingered on her father. It had been so easy these past four years to forget everything. Now it seemed impossible. Every thought, idea and memory was like travelling a road back to her home. Back to the guilt and regret. All she could do was continue running. _I need to stop being such a_ coward. But thinking it didn't change what she was. Only effort on her part could do that and she still wasn't sure if she was brave enough.

 _Will Anna really be thrilled to see me?_ Thoughts of what had occurred at the games night had haunted her as much as the possibility of facing her parents. She had wondered what the point of attending tonight was if it would just be a repeat of that? Anna would be bright and hopeful. Elsa would be temporarily blinded. They'd get along and almost forget everything that hung over them. And then Elsa would screw it up by not trusting Anna to make her own mistakes. That's what it all came down to in the end. She wasn't even giving Anna the chance to make her own screw ups. Elsa was doing a fine job of doing that for her.

 _Just tell her you are sorry and work it out from there._

It had been too long since she had to attend something like this. Sitting back on the passenger seat, she thought back to the days she had to be perfect for her parent's guests. It had never been easy playing that role but it had always been expected of her. Their expectations were so high and she had always tried so hard to meet them. It had never been enough, not for them, not for her. Her powers had seen to that. The older she got the more erratic it became. There was some semblance of control in her mid-teens but the accident that drove her from her home had been a stark reminder that she was never safe from the monster inside. She never would be.

Olaf pulled up the huge driveway and Elsa was jolted away from her thoughts. Gazing out the window she was surprised to see the residence rivalled her parent's manor. Of course Anna wanted to be here. It was a fairytale dream. White lights lined the trees all the way along the driveway. The fountain situated before the grand manor was lit up and flowing vibrantly under the late afternoon sky. She wanted to laugh at how her old Ford Fiesta was in a queue of luxury and sports cars but she felt no shame. She felt more grounded than ever before. It was almost nostalgic when she thought back to how young, blind and ignorant she used to be.

 _Meeting Anna taught me so much._

Olaf handed the keys over to the valet after pulling up at the entrance. Like the gentleman he was, he linked arms with Elsa and together they walked up the clichéd red carpet.

"It's a bit overdone isn't it?" He whispered to her.

Elsa let out a soft laugh. It was all she needed to say in agreement. Everything about these parties was too much. At the door Olaf took the lead and handed over their invitation.

"Miss Arendelle," The bouncer said aloud as he checked her name off the list.

Elsa stood stunned. That wasn't her name she gave on the RSVP. She was attending as Olaf's guest, not her parent's. How was it her name on the guest list? How did they even know to match them up?

"Miss Winters," Olaf corrected him, keeping his tone neutral. Elsa felt him hold her arm even more tightly to steady her.

"Right. Miss Arendelle. Go right in," The bouncer said bored while still reviewing his list. Elsa was rooted in place. This had to be some sort of joke. The only other people who knew who she was here was Anna... and Hans.

 _That snake_. Her thoughts turned dark.

"Elsa." Olaf's tone snapped her out of the storm that was threatening to brew. He quite literally had to drag her forward so the couple behind them could enter.

Inside the grand reception room Elsa held onto Olaf's arm tightly feeling small and vulnerable. If her real name was on the guest list it was an easy assumption to make that everyone here would know who she was. Everyone would be asking questions.

"We should go," She whispered to Olaf quietly as he picked at the passing canapés served by waiters. "I can't be here. Not with them knowing who I am-"

"Elsa?"

Elsa froze. It was too late.

"Anna!" Olaf gave her a warm hug in greeting.

Elsa couldn't find words. Fear and nerves slipped away at the sight of Anna. She was dazzling. The light reflected off a million sequins making her sparkle like the stars in the sky. Her eyes lazily trailed up the navy blue evening dress, a colour much darker than anything Elsa had seen her in. The fabric was tight, too tight. It accentuated every curve and bone line. The way its v-neck line emphasised her bust, the snowflake pendant Elsa had given her as a birthday gift glinted in the light.

 _She kept it._ Her heart was soaring.

Anna nervously brushed against a stray strand of hair from her face as they gazed at each other.

 _She is perfect._

* * *

 _She is perfect._

Anna couldn't tear her eyes away from Elsa's ice blue ball gown as she hugged Olaf. She had never seen her wear anything _this_ formal. Not even at that awkward store opening she gate crashed years ago. School uniform, trouser suits and summer dresses didn't compare. She always looked stunning of course but tonight was a whole different game. Elsa looked _flawless_. Anna's eyes trailed along the satin gloves, up the lace bodice and to her shoulders; her blonde braid cascading over her exposed collarbone.

For a long moment she forgot she had even been mad at the woman. Guilt for ignoring all of those messages tugged at her. She had wanted Elsa to understand just how infuriating it was being on the other side of the door. _It's a new day. Maybe it'll be better._ She hadn't lost her optimism although a small part of her wondered how many days of this she'd have to endure before one of them gave up. _Just one more day._

"You look amazing!" Olaf complimented Anna enthusiastically.

Anna wanted to cling to this moment: the first impression of seeing Elsa looking so incredible, and her friend gazing back at her with just as much adoration in those blue eyes. She could have stood staring at Elsa all night and not been bored.

"Ahem, yes. You look beautiful," Elsa agreed, eyes never leaving her.

Anna blushed. "You look beautifuller. Wait-you don't look fuller- you look more beautiful-"

"Thank you." Elsa's smile was genuine.

Anna relaxed. She had been worried when Hans had mentioned Elsa may attend the party but after seeing her here now she suddenly felt at ease.

 _It will be a good night._ She smiled to herself.

* * *

 _It will be a bad night._ Elsa was sighing inwardly. Seeing Anna like this was setting off a whole series of conflicting emotions and an unmistakable heat.

 _Why do I torture myself like this?_ She had been asking herself this since the day Anna first showed up at her doorstep. They had their arguments but they had also gotten along so well too. This fragile peace was too precious to break and yet Elsa knew she'd need to tell Anna everything, and soon. All of this waiting and pretending was too cruel for them both.

 _One night._ She resolved. _To pretend for a moment we aren't weighed down by my mistakes._ It was weakness that Elsa both wanted to fight and surrender at the same time. But her need for Anna was winning out over the potential heartbreak. _She'll be heartbroken no matter what you do. You should at least trust her to make the choice._ Already knowing what that choice would be wasn't helping.

"You made it!" Hans' voice called across the reception area. Elsa looked up and immediately wished she hadn't. Hans strode towards them looking dapper in his military uniform. She might have been impressed that he had served their country if her mind wasn't so fixated on the guest list and how she'd confront him over the mess. He bowed to Elsa and kissed her hand, not even so much as glancing at Olaf. As much as she wanted to, she didn't physically pull away from him, even when he held onto her hand.

"Come, my father is waiting to meet you! He hasn't seen you since you were tiny."

"Wait, what?" Elsa was half whisked, half dragged across the floor and presented to a well dressed elderly man. She barely had time to take in the matching military uniform and abundance of medals; it was a stark contrast to Hans.

"Father!" Hans shook the towering man's hand.

Elsa's heart was thumping in her chest as she met those sharp and observant emerald eyes. His once golden hair had greyed. Wrinkles lined his mouth and eyes softening his features. To both her surprise and horror, she recognised him immediately, even after age taking its toll.

 _This is the man who visited father so often_. Elsa's mind flashed back. Her family grew much more restrained with the number of visitors they invited to the manor as she grew older but when she was a child she remembered this man so vividly. She recalled kindness and tolerance and fun. Black and white pieces moving strategically over the chess board as she sat on her father's lap playing against him. Affectionately calling him 'uncle'. Back when her father wasn't ashamed or scared she'd unleash her powers. Back when they were a family.

She didn't realise that man from the past was Mr Westergard, nor did she know at the time he had any children. He had never mentioned them. She didn't recall him mentioning his wife. But for a man with 13 sons and three failed marriages Elsa wondered if his regular weekend visits to the Arendelle Estate had been a much needed escape. And then it all ended, because Elsa couldn't keep her power under wraps. She never saw him again just like she never really saw anyone.

...And all of this meant he must have recognised her. Any illusions she had about hiding were completely erased.

"May I introduce Miss Arendelle. Miss Arendelle, my father," Hans made the introductions.

"I am so pleased you could make it, Miss Arendelle." Mimicking his son, Mr Westergard bowed and kissed Elsa's hand. She remained rigid.

"You have grown up into a fine young lady."

It was a genuine comment but Elsa couldn't find any words all the same.

"It's terrible about your father. I know in the circumstances it's not much, but I hope he is doing well. How is your mother holding up?"

Elsa couldn't speak. She couldn't move. The whole room felt like it stopped around her as her mouth opened and closed but no sound escaped. No clever excuses or deflections. She wanted to tell him the truth; she hadn't seen them in four years and that was the end of it. The shame held her back.

"The family are doing as well as can be expected." Elsa felt Anna's arm loop in her own as the redhead boldly stepped in to save her. "Anna Summers," She introduced herself before Mr Westergard could even speak. "Consultant for Snowflake Studios. Thank you for inviting us to your beautiful manor. It really is amazing here. And big-I don't mean you're big-I mean your house is big-in a good way!"

Elsa took a breath as she squeezed Anna's arm in thanks.

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Summers," Mr Westergard spoke before Anna had a chance to continue. "Elsa, will find me after the party? I have something I'd like to discuss with you privately."

"We will," Anna answered for her and Elsa was once again grateful for the support.

"Good. Please enjoy the party, girls. I have other guests I need to greet," He said by way of farewell.

Elsa watched him go, the familiar sense of regret sweeping through her. She wouldn't be meeting him later, of this she was certain.

...But it did make her think of home. This whole party reminded her of who she once was with such crushing clarity. _I can't keep running forever. What am I really doing here? Chasing after Anna? Olaf is right. What happens when she finds someone else and I'm left completely alone? What if she is right and I never get to speak to father again? If nothing else I need to tell him he was wrong: I can live in this world and be normal. It's not easy... but with Olaf and Anna... Anna... Would you forgive me if you knew?_

Elsa found herself squeezing her friend's arm tighter.

"And that ladies, is my father." Hans stepped forward to close the circle after Mr Westergard had moved on.

"I thought you said you had 12 big brothers. Are they all here?" Anna asked him.

Hans visibly sighed as he nodded. "Are you really going to make me introduce all of them and all of their families? Two of them still pretend I don't exist."

Anna looked like she was going to jump at the opportunity until Elsa caught her eye. She wanted to maintain her hold on the redhead to keep herself calm and to keep Anna safe from everyone here who'd take advantage of such a beautiful and naive young lady.

But she reminded herself Anna wasn't hers. And after that display Elsa knew she was the one who needed Anna to protect her from everyone else here, not the other way around. _A professional, Olaf called me. I couldn't even speak. I need time to think...  
_

"Go on, really. I'll be fine," Elsa said quietly, untangling their arms. Anna wanted to reply. It was clear in her eyes but Elsa pressed a finger to her lips to stop her.

"I'll still be here." It was a promise she prayed she'd be able to keep.

With reluctance, Anna took Hans' arm and allowed him to lead her into the party.

Letting her go to Hans hurt more than she had expected. She watched as they held each other's hands. It should have been her, not him. Elsa lingered on Anna's backless dress, exposing delicate freckles against her pale skin. She flushed with heat as her thoughts wandered further than was acceptable.

"You let them go off together?" Olaf stepped up beside her. Elsa had caught him lurking at the edge of the party catching canapés as they flew past. He'd been watching over her and she was grateful.

"I didn't have a choice-"

"I taught you better than this. Just think when you're 8 places down in Mario Kart. You don't give up. You get the best damn items and you make the rest of the field eat your dust... and bob-ombs. And blue shells. You're going to get out there Elsa Arendelle and you're going to blue shell Hans."

As far as pep talks went, Elsa considered this to be a pretty damn good one. Mario Kart was something she could really get behind. But this was real life and the baggage she was carrying was too heavy.

 _I need to tell her everything._ Elsa resolved as she closed her eyes. She had needed to tell Anna everything four years ago and here she was still running away and living in denial. _Even if it destroys us both I need to do it.  
_

How did one just go up and blue shell a person? It wasn't as easy as hitting an item box and obtaining what she needed right there and then. Not only that, items required perfect timing to be used effectively.

 _I'm going to regret everything tonight. But to live free even for just a moment with Anna...  
_

"Alright. Operation Blue Shell." She gave Olaf a side glance as his face lit up. "I'll need you to help me survive this until I get the chance to step in."

Olaf's smile widened in understanding. "You got it."

* * *

It was true; Anna had wanted to meet Hans' brothers. But the moment she had seen Elsa in her dress her mind had been spinning from a feeling stronger than any alcohol could inflict. Stepping away from Elsa had been a mistake and she was trying to find any excuse to get back to the blonde. She shouldn't have let herself react so enthusiastically when Hans suggested meeting his family. Why had she even brought it up in the first place? If she had seemed more disinterested Elsa wouldn't have felt so inclined to have pushed her away. At least that was what she had hoped. _Maybe Elsa wanted the space._

Even as Anna met the last brother who'd speak to Hans her thoughts lingered on Elsa and how she was coping with the party and questions. Would everyone be asking about her parents? Would she be able to answer or would she freeze up again? Was she even still at the party?

"Let's dance," Hans pulled her to the dance floor.

"Oh I'm not so sure-I have two left feet! I am completely, absolutely terrible at anything which requires a rhythm-"

"Just follow my lead," He flashed her that winning smile and Anna regrettably complied. She tried, she really did. But even Hans couldn't escape his feet being trodden on. Anna was hopeless. Every twist and turn was laboured and wrong. As the music ended she was ready to escape to the desert table. Chocolate was just what she needed after that.

"Will you allow me the honour of sharing this next dance with you?"

Anna was certain she had misheard, but when she turned and came face to face with those royal blue eyes she knew her brain wasn't hallucinating. She couldn't move. Seeing Elsa again in that dress brought back that feeling from a few hours earlier. _Gods, she really is perfect._ She chewed on her lip, thoughts drifting into dark places again.

"Anna?" Elsa's face turned to one of concern when the redhead couldn't find words.

Hans had already stepped away, not that Anna noticed. Her sole attention was on the beautiful lady before her.

"Yes! I mean no-I mean-"

"I'll teach you." Elsa pulled Anna close and positioned her arms. She felt Elsa's loop behind her, holding her steady.

"Elsa seriously, I'm awful-"

"No, you are not. You just had a bad teacher. He should have been guiding you and he wasn't. I'll take you through it properly."

And there it was again, Elsa's strong side. Anna was lost in the contact, entranced by her winter perfume. She followed every step as instructed through the gentle waltz.

Anna closed her eyes, remembering her time in the club where she had vividly imaged being beside Elsa. This was everything she had dreamed of and more. It wasn't some sleazy club; Anna was dancing, and it was real dancing. No toes were being stepped on, she was moving in some kind of rhythm. Elsa's arm around her held her firmly in place. Exactly where she belonged.

As the dance ended Anna leaned in and rested her head on Elsa's shoulder.

"Can we talk?" Elsa asked her gently and Anna felt her former lover's fingers trailing through her loose red curls. She shivered in delight.

 _Elsa wants to talk._ It was so unlike her. Anna had to mute her expectations in fear it was going to be some sort of break up from whatever messed up relationship they had. Or more accurately, didn't have.

 _Just let me have this moment._ She wished she could say it aloud but it would shatter their fragile peace. They stood swaying in each other's arms as the orchestra started the next song. Neither seemed prepared to move.

Elsa was the one who had to pull back, but only far enough to take Anna's hand. She led her from the dance floor, through the patio doors and into the chilling outdoor winter weather. A thin layer of snow coated the ground but the sky was clear. A series of purples and oranges reflected off the garden from the recent setting sun.

"You were right, I can't run away forever. I'm going to go home for Christmas."

Anna almost choked on the air she breathed. Elsa was acting like a responsible grown up. Just what had happened?

"Being here has reminded me of who I was. As much as I wish it, I can't run away from it forever," Elsa seemed to hesitate before continuing. "Not only that... I've been running away from you for too long. I need to tell you everything before I return home. I can't do it here but tomorrow... I'll tell you everything tomorrow." She promised.

Anna was caught completely off guard as Elsa held her hands in her own. Any cold she felt faded away under that sincere and vulnerable gaze.

"For tonight, can we just pretend everything was like _that night_ camping?"

Anna's breath hitched. She had spent the past four years craving for that moment again and here Elsa was offering it to her on a plate. She saw the pang of regret in Elsa's eyes and Anna knew it would never be quite the same, but if she was willing then Anna would jump at the chance.

"Yes," She breathed.

And under the twilight sky Elsa pulled Anna close and kissed her for the first time in four years.

* * *

 **A/N: I've had a lot of real life stuff preventing me from spending any real time writing this week. I wish I could say I'll have more time next week, but I probably won't.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – She loves a monster like you**

Pretending everything was ok was a bittersweet sensation for Elsa. She was almost bursting with regret and shame for leading Anna on like this, but the redhead treasured that experience camping as much as Elsa had. Reliving it was both reckless and thrilling.

Behaving much like they did as teenagers, the girls crept through the halls of the Westergard's manor on the hunt for a suitable room. This of course had been Anna's idea. When Elsa had suggested they treat tonight like _that_ night, she'd had meant in theory: being free with each other and enjoying their time without thinking about the outside world, or in Elsa's case her power. Anna however had taken it completely literally. Not that Elsa had needed much convincing.

If the location had been down to Elsa they'd have been in the gardens lying in the snow. She was sure she could have kept the redhead warm enough but she couldn't exactly explain how that'd work to Anna.

 _Anna... lying naked in the snow._ Elsa's imagination was running wild with that thought. Her body shuddered in pleasure. She needed that to happen.

"In here," Anna took Elsa by her hand and pulled her through a door. She glanced around in approval. It was a bedroom and judging by the neutral colours and lack of photographs it appeared to be a spare room. _Thank god._ The last place she wanted to end up was in Hans' bedroom.

"So," Elsa began as she closed the door swiftly behind them. Anna already had her arms around Elsa's neck pressing up close. "Have you had anyone else since..." She let the sentence hang. Those bright eyes were inches from her own and just like at Olaf's apartment they were swirling with a dark desire. Elsa shivered with a thrill. This was really happening and against her judgement she wasn't stopping it.

"Have you read any more books?" Anna countered as she pushed Elsa up against the wall.

"Maybe," the word escaped Elsa's throat in a moan as Anna kissed her neck. It was so unexpected to have her take control but at the same time so welcome.

"Mhmm," Anna purred, breath tentatively tickling Elsa's skin. "I have had some experiences," she husked. "But none of them were _you._ "

A small voice in Elsa's mind wanted to tell her that she didn't deserve her. That Anna would have been better off without her. But she was slowly realising that Anna wanted only her.

 _She loves a monster like you._

Lips pressed firmly against her own. Elsa melted into the kiss putting up no resistance. Anna could take all she wanted and more. Tonight she would give in to everything.

Anna's fingers found the zip on her dress and within seconds she had it off. She took a good, long minute to admire Elsa's figure. She hadn't worn a bra under the dress. The fitted bodice hadn't required it.

Elsa couldn't suppress the blush building under Anna's hungry eyes. Last time she was the one in control. Any confidence she had in that moment in the past had evaporated. Anna had, had other real experiences. Elsa had nothing but books and a vivid imagination. It left her feeling vulnerable.

 _What if I'm not as good as she remembers?_

"Last time I had no idea what I was doing but you was so patient. This time I will spoil you." It was a promise.

Elsa felt her body flush with heat. Anna was upon her with soft and teasing hands. They trailed everywhere leaving the hair on Elsa's skin prickling in their wake. Fingers weren't enough. Lips blazed burning marks across her body. She yelped in pleasure as Anna gave her a playful bite.

Elsa was pinned helplessly to the wall as the redhead assaulted her senses. Everything was amplified. Nerve endings stood on end during the onslaught. Soft purrs escaped Elsa's throat. Anna descended lower and Elsa gripped her lover's hair in sudden realisation of what was to come.

"Ann-ah-" She gasped as the redhead pushed her head between her thighs. Elsa had only realised she had obliged her moments later. Her body arched against the wall, one leg wrapping around Anna's back. She had no idea what she was doing down there but whatever it was it was magic. The woman was hitting every sensitive spot with precision causing waves of pleasure to ripple through her body.

Finger nails dug into Anna's scalp as Elsa's body reached its peak. She relished the feeling as wave upon wave crashed over her. And when it finally died down she was left satisfied but craving more. Having Anna touching her so intimately, with so much care and confidence... Once wasn't enough.

Anna wiped her mouth and grinned the biggest grin Elsa had ever seen. Elsa meanwhile was struggling to keep herself upright.

"Wow, I really hit you hard." The pride was undeniable. But she was right. Elsa hadn't had any other lovers. She had vowed she'd never subject herself to a relationship ever again. And now here she was full of pent up sexual frustration and Anna was ready and willing to relieve every last bit of it. It was like a dream. So it was really no surprise that when the release finally came it was euphoric.

"I'm pretty sure you could do that to me all night and the result wouldn't change," Elsa panted, any doubts she had about doing this completely erased.

Anna's eyes lit up. "Is that a challenge Miss Arendelle?"

 _Oh yes please._ Elsa longed to voice the words but she couldn't have Anna doing all of the work. _Or could I?_ The idea was very tempting.

"It is most definitely a challenge, Miss Summers but not one you have the opportunity to prove to me tonight. Another night, maybe," she replied playfully and the way Anna's eyes sparkled at the mention of more of _this_ made her heart both flutter and sink all at once.

 _If we ever have another chance at this._

The thoughts chilled her but Elsa pushed them aside and focused on the woman before her. For one night she needed to give Anna everything and more.

Elsa stepped forward but as she reached out Anna took a step back. She wagged her finger at her with a sly smile.

* * *

Anna wanted nothing more than for Elsa to reciprocate what she had just done but she forced her lover to slow down. It was true she had jumped straight into the deep end; she had been craving this for too long to hold back. Now she had gotten over the initial desire she could slow things up and make this more than just a quick thrill. She'd make sure Elsa never forgot about it.

"Sit," Anna's confidence must have caught Elsa off guard because the bemused woman perched at the edge of the bed without a word of protest or enquiry.

Anna bit her lip as she looked Elsa over. Holding back took all of her self control.

Slowly Anna let her fingers pull the zip down. She turned, exposing her freckled back as the dress dropped to the floor. She hesitated, drawing the moment out. Glancing around, her body roared with heat as she saw Elsa's eyes dilate.

Anna smiled to herself. _She spent all of that time pushing me away and yet now I have her like this her desire is undeniable_. She felt elated to know for certain Elsa still wanted her.

Anna unclipped her bra and tossed it over to Elsa. She batted it away.

"Do you do a striptease for all of your conquests?" She raised an eyebrow as she pulled one of those guarded faces that Anna knew so well.

 _Now she's had a few minutes to think about this she's clamming up. I'll have to fix that._

Elsa's eyes still shined in lust, she was unable to hide that much at least.

"Don't pretend you aren't enjoying this," and to prove her point Anna pushed Elsa back onto the bed and drew one hand down her body. The hand slipped between her legs. Elsa let out a gasp but Anna withdrew her wet finger almost immediately. She held it up to examine it.

"Have you been this ready for me since I showed up at your door?" Anna turned back to her. Elsa didn't need to reply. The blush on her cheeks as she looked away betrayed her guilt. Anna sat back from where she straddled Elsa's lap in thought. _It's clear you are attracted to me. Not only that you care too. Why do you hold yourself back?_ But Anna couldn't voice it aloud. She wouldn't ruin this moment by backing Elsa into a corner.

When Elsa had mentioned treating tonight like _that_ night Anna had known what she had meant. She had never seen her friend so free from her life and expectations except for during that trip. Elsa was still chasing that freedom and Anna was loathed to drag her back to reality. ...And the sex was pretty incredible. Anna could never say no to this.

"...You have no idea what you do to me..." Elsa murmured.

Anna leaned down and captured those lips. "Oh, I'm learning very quickly." A smile. "Want to know a secret? You do the exact same to me," she whispered into Elsa's ear.

She felt Elsa quiver beneath her.

"Am I allowed to have my wicked way with you yet?" Elsa looked her straight in the eye.

In any other situation Anna would have been jumping at the chance but she held back. Elsa was waiting so patiently and obediently. The power was sending more than just a thrill through Anna.

"Mm, maybe if you ask me nicely," she teased as her finger played with a lock of blonde hair.

"Really?" Elsa asked flatly. Anna waited, not giving in. She had Elsa right where she wanted her and she wasn't going to let go.

Elsa rolled her eyes and huffed. " _Please_ ," she began and Anna was already enjoying it far more than she thought possible. She'd had role plays and the like with other lovers but it wasn't the same as having Elsa. Nothing was the same as having Elsa.

"Your Majesty."

"Wait, what-" Elsa was silenced as Anna pressed her finger to her lips. Understanding dawned on her. There was a momentary resistance before she shrugged and gave in.

" _Please, Your Majesty._ "

* * *

Elsa felt completely stupid saying the words but there was something about the way Anna was sat on top of her with all of the power which was igniting a fire stronger than she had felt before. Anna was her queen and she wanted nothing more than to worship every inch of her body.

Anna put one hand to her chin as she dramatically pretended to consider it for a while.

Before Anna had the chance to come to any conclusion, Elsa's fingers danced down Anna's side, extracting a soft purr from her lover. She considered flipping Anna over while she was caught off guard but as much as she wanted that she held back. Anna was enjoying this so Elsa would play by her rules and indulge her.

She sat up slowly, shifting Anna back onto her lap. Drawing in close to the redhead's face, their noses brushed as Elsa continued to caress her lover.

Elsa didn't consider herself a good actress, but she put on the most vulnerable and needy face she could pull off. "Please, Your Majesty, let me worship you."

* * *

 _Holy shit._ Anna almost fainted. Any heat she felt before this moment had been amplified to a point where she wasn't certain she could keep it together. She looked down at Elsa with that vulnerable look in her eyes. _Fuck it_. She definitely couldn't keep it together. Any attempt to keep the evening slow and sensual was out the window. Anna needed it now. Right now.

She claimed Elsa's lips with a raw fury. She nipped at her lover's tongue as they fought. Rough and carnal, Anna couldn't hold back. She parted breathlessly, catching a calculating look in Elsa's eye. Anna hadn't needed to tell Elsa she had won that little game. The woman had known exactly what buttons to press even after all this time.

 _Just what are you planning?_

Elsa shuffled forward and placed her arms securely around Anna. With a heave, the redhead clung to her in surprise as she was hoisted up. Elsa took a few strides and placed her gently down on a chair.

 _Still as strong as ever._

Elsa knelt before her, a playful glint in her eye as she did and Anna knew exactly where this was going. _She is doing this on purpose._ Of this she had no doubt.

"My Queen," Elsa purred. Anna was little more than a puddle melting into the chair. She couldn't wait and Elsa damn well knew it. That devious fox was drawing it out.

"Elsa..." she pleaded. The blonde grinned. With nimble hands she took Anna's foot and planted hot kisses along it. Anna gripped the arms of the chair as Elsa moved up her leg. She was going too slowly.

 _Gods, why didn't I just let her have me when I had the chance?_

Anna didn't resist as Elsa spread her legs.

"Have you been this ready for me since you showed up at my door?" Elsa mimicked. Anna would have rolled her eyes had she been capable. She had been waiting four years to have this again and she had been ready the entire time. But she couldn't exactly voice that to Elsa without dragging them back to their problems. It could wait. Everything could wait.

"You damn well know I have," Anna replied in a strained voice. Every breath from Elsa was like static along her thighs. The woman needed to do something soon otherwise Anna feared she might lose her mind to the desire that was drowning her.

"Then I best make sure I give my Queen all of the attention she deserves," Elsa murmured.

Anna's back arched as she felt Elsa kiss her clit. _Fuck._ The bolt of pleasure set her body ablaze. She wrapped her legs around Elsa in an attempt to draw her in but she resisted. Every stroke was frustratingly slow and drawn out. Even so, Anna felt the pleasure growing. Moans escaped her lips as she held onto the chair. She was getting close. Just a little more... Elsa paused and withdrew. Anna's head snapped down to meet Elsa's wicked eyes.

"Last time I was too busy down here to see you. This time I want to watch," Elsa smirked as she crawled onto Anna's lap. She felt one hand snake around the back of her head and the other... the other crawled down her body to finish the job.

Elsa assaulted Anna all at once and the redhead barely had a chance to collect her thoughts before her body exploded in pleasure. Hundreds of tiny fireworks were set off and they kept coming. Back arched and body shaking, she endured wave after wave of ecstasy.

Elsa continued to kiss her as she was brought down from her high. It was everything she had wished it to be and more. No other lover had made her come so hard.

"Fuck, Elsa..." She limply laid back on the chair, chest heaving as she desperately tried to catch her breath. "For a woman who only reads books you're so damn good."

"I'm fairly certain I could do whatever I wanted to you and you'd be a mess," Elsa replied. She remained on Anna's lap, fingers tracing lines between freckles on her chest. The redhead shivered beneath her.

Anna gave her a weak half smile. She was right. Anna had only just realised it but every other scene she could imagine with Elsa was setting off a heady desire. Those possibilities were refuelling the fire within her.

"...Once more?" She murmured.

Elsa leaned forward and gave Anna a light kiss.

"Alright, just once more."

* * *

Elsa laid beside Anna on the bed, bodies naked and entwined. Everything she had done to Anna and what Anna had done to her in return flashed before her eyes. Each vivid memory made her want to start all over again. She was rudely brought back to reality when she remembered they weren't at her apartment at home. They were at a formal event.

"We can't stay here," Elsa murmured as her fingers threaded through red locks. Anna met her eye with a sad smile.

"Just another 5 minutes."

"You said that 15 minutes ago," Elsa said knowingly and Anna grinned, not even trying to defend herself.

Elsa gazed at Anna beside her. This evening had been perfect. Anna had been perfect. In her arms she was safe. The fear and doubt couldn't reach her.

 _I love you._ Elsa said silently as she reached over and kissed Anna's forehead. She wished she could say the words aloud. The crushing reality that she couldn't was enough to bring Elsa falling back down from her high.

Tomorrow would be hard. After giving in to this Elsa wasn't sure if she could cope with losing her.

 _She'll understand... won't she?_ Elsa couldn't think on it any longer. The calm quiet was giving her too much time to stew on it.

"Let's head home," She said as she got up. Elsa turned back to Anna with a sudden realisation. She had just assumed Anna was coming home with her. _The girl walked out on you. Sleeping with her doesn't suddenly make it all ok._

"I'd like that," Anna replied with a warm smile.

 _...Maybe it does make everything ok._

* * *

Dressed, makeup restored and in the car on their way home, Elsa and Anna sat together on the back seat. Elsa caught Olaf's eye in the rear view mirror. He was smirking. She rolled her eyes as Anna snuggled into her shoulder.

"So... you girls had a good night?" He asked innocently.

Elsa would have face-palmed if one arm wasn't already around Anna and the other wasn't being held hostage by the redhead's fingers.

"It was a _wonderful_ night," Anna answered for them both. Elsa flushed. Just the way Anna had said it spoke volumes. "Elsa taught me to dance... and I showed her-"

"Anna!" Elsa squirmed, thoughts flashing to the bedroom.

"What? I was going to say I showed you I could talk my way out of any problem. Or had you forgotten I saved you from Mr Westergard?" She raised an eyebrow as she sat up. Her smile said otherwise. "Or did you think I was going to say-"

"I get it!" Elsa blushed even more deeply.

"You are too cute when you're embarrassed," Anna murmured, leaning down to kiss the nook of Elsa's neck. She was rewarded with a stifled purr.

"And you are unbelievable," Elsa was now dying of embarrassment. She wasn't sure what was worse: Anna's teasing or the glint of amusement in Olaf's eyes. She knew the boy was no doubt smugly thinking about how right he was.

"You girls go ahead and enjoy yourself. I can pop my headphones in. No judgement here," He said cheerily, catching Elsa's eye in the mirror again.

"I swear to god I hate you both!" Elsa tensed up. It was completely undone by a second surprise kiss.

* * *

The car journey was long but it flew by. Being able to just sit beside Anna intimately felt better than anything and she wished it could last forever.

 _Perhaps I could text Olaf and ask him to take a longer route home..._ But she sighed inwardly at how stupid it sounded.

They pulled up at her apartment. Elsa squeezed Anna for a moment, not wanting this moment to end. Every minute that passed was a minute closer to tomorrow. _You still have a whole night._ Elsa rationalised it to herself as she released Anna and exited the car.

"I would walk you up to your room but I think you two'll be just fine on your own," Olaf gave them a wink as he tossed the car keys over to Elsa.

"Don't worry, I'll escort her." Anna's grin was infectious. She looped her arm in Elsa's and pulled her close.

Elsa gave Olaf a grateful nod and he returned it before getting back to his own car. She really owed him for everything this evening. _Not just this evening. He's been helping me since I came knocking at his door._

"My feet hurt so much. Why do women wear heels? Actually don't answer that. You look fabulous in them. They are just so uncomfortable. I can't wait to be back in my trainers," Anna complained as they climbed upstairs. Elsa glanced down at Anna's feet. She certainly looked good in them too.

"I am impressed you can even walk in heels. You're surprisingly graceful."

"Surprisingly?" Anna cocked an eyebrow.

"You are literally the clumsiest person I know. How you are upright in them defies all gravity." Elsa smirked.

"I have you know I can be graceful and lady-like when I want," Anna said matter-of-factly.

Elsa snorted as she laughed. "Ladylike? Please."

Anna shoved Elsa in retaliation and Elsa responded by shoving her back. She had to pull Anna back into her arms to catch her from falling over. She wasn't as steady in those shoes as she pretended to be.

Her breath caught as Anna looked up at her, dangerously close. They paused mid-step. Elsa was lost in those teal eyes. Anna reached up and gave her a quick peck on the nose.

"I'll remind you just how ladylike I am later," she promised with a wink.

Elsa sighed with a smile. _Could this be every day?_ She dared to dream.

The pair headed into Elsa's apartment and kicked off their heels. She glanced over the sofa still covered in blankets. After what they had done at the party it seemed ridiculous for one of them to stay there. Her hand still in Anna's, she pulled the redhead into the bedroom. Anna hadn't needed her to say anything to understand what she intended.

Completely at ease in each other's company, they threw their dresses off and climbed into the bed together. Anna pulled Elsa close and they laid silently in each other's arms for several minutes.

"You know, whatever you are going to tell me tomorrow doesn't matter," Anna assured Elsa while playing with a strand of blonde hair. "Nothing has made me happier than finding out we still have something."

Guilt and shame wrenched Elsa's gut. Anna's face became inquisitive and Elsa knew the redhead could see right through into her soul.

"But now you've got that distant look again you're making me worried. We can get through anything you know." Anna leaned forward and planted a tender kiss on Elsa's forehead.

Elsa wanted to reply and tell her how wrong she was. She wanted to spill everything right now but facing it now would only break Anna's heart sooner and after this perfect evening she was loathed to do it just yet.

"You have me forever," Anna promised her as she pulled the blonde into an embrace. Elsa relished the closeness and allowed herself to rest her head in the nook of her neck. "You don't need to be afraid."

 _"When did you become so strong?"_ Elsa hadn't realised she had said it out loud until she felt Anna flinch. The regret was instant.

"I spent a lot of time thinking about what you said that night. When you said you were never confident. I was more shocked at myself for not noticing it sooner. You saved me at school so many times. You were so brave but I see it in you now, even when you're trying to be strong: that fear you carry with you. You've had it since we met, that much I am certain. Even after all of these years of... whatever we are, you still haven't been able to burden me with it. I want you to know I'm ready and willing to help you. I'm strong enough to handle it. I've grown up so much in four years. I'm not the same kid you knew. I'm older and braver. I will be here when you're ready to talk." A pause. "...I do really wish you'd open up to me. Do you talk to anyone? Olaf?"

Elsa winced. She wished they could have just had a nice night in bed lying in each other's arms but she had made the mistake of asking Anna a question and received an essay in reply. So she was unsurprised when Anna turned this into something more akin to her therapy sessions. _If I don't give in to my fractured heart tonight it'll be a miracle._

"...I spoke to Olaf a lot when I moved here," She paused to gauge Anna's reaction. The flash of jealousy surprised her. She felt that Anna wanted to ask the big question that had settled silently between them. The elephant in the room, so to speak. But she didn't.

 _Does Olaf know everything? Yes. Are you going to tell her that? Definitely not if I can help it._ The only way to deflect any questions would be to keep talking. And the only thing she could possibly think to say which didn't involve word vomiting her biggest secret all over Anna was to tell her about therapy. It was another secret she had intended to keep to herself. Not because she was ashamed she attended it but because no one needed to know. It was personal and private. But Anna needed something from her and out of her dull and uninspiring four years this was the only thing she could think of.

"I decided pretty quickly that burdening him with all of my shit wasn't fair. He'd already let me crash at his place. I wasn't in a good place mentally," she hesitated. The only reason it hurt so much to admit that was because she knew Anna was lying opposite her no doubt questioning why Elsa had chosen a complete stranger to help her through her problems and not her lover. "So, against all of my rebellious principles I signed up to therapy."

"You... have a therapist?" Anna blinked in surprise.

"Yeah. I have done for quite a few years. It took a while to find the right person. I didn't gel with most of the ones I tried but this one woman seems to get me. When I think about how much progress I make per session then it doesn't feel like anything. But when I look back at how I was when I first started I realise I've come a long way."

* * *

Anna should have been ecstatic her best friend was finally talking to her. And a large, selfless part of her was. But she couldn't suppress the small, selfish part that was swelling up within her. Everything Elsa had said boiled down to one thing. She had, had these open conversations with other people first. And she was acting positive like talking had the potential to solve everything.

 _If only she had sat down with me instead of shutting me out._ It was beyond frustrating. She had to rationalise it in her mind. Elsa was talking to her now. Not only that she'd done more than just talk at the party. She shivered at the memory.

"I talk to her once a week on Thursdays via webcam. I'm still no good at face to face stuff. It makes me feel like I'm in the headmaster's office at school."

Anna was torn from her internal debate at the mention of Thursday. "Wait. Last Thursday the reason you were busy was..."

"Yes. I had a session."

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought you were avoiding me." Anna slapped her head. "I would have been here for you." _Instead I was out drunk with Hans._

"I'm not ready for you to meet my therapist. Maybe one day..." Her voice trailed off and Anna sat up to look at her properly. Whatever she was hiding it weighed heavy. Anna looked into those blue eyes and resolved not to screw it up this time. It wouldn't be like last time where she was so caught up in herself that she ignored Elsa's suffering. She wouldn't push for answers. She would be patient and supportive. She would never let her runaway again.

"I can wait," Anna promised. She leaned forward and gave her lover a gentle kiss. "So take your time."

* * *

 **A/N: So I said a couple chapters ago I'm obsessed with Florence and the Machine. Soundtrack for this chapter is Hiding. So many of her songs are perfect for these two characters but I'll just throw out one or two here and there.**

 **To Fly, Dangerous to Dream is another one of my favourite tracks from the Frozen musical. In fact just give me Elsa singing and I'm happy :D**

 **To my guest reviewer(s), I'm sorry it's taking so long for Elsa to spill the beans. It's coming soon, I promise!**

 **To Penguin, and you thought Hans was having a bad time in the previous chapter ;)  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – Her world fell apart**

Elsa sat around the campfire with the Summers family eating from a mess tin. She had been impressed with just how resourceful Anna's parents had been. They knew how to forage and hunt so the majority of the campfire dinners were a random mix of whatever they had picked up during the day, and gods was it delicious. Elsa was used to having top quality food regularly, being able to afford a dedicated chef helped a lot with that but something was warmer and fresher about the Summers' cooking.

She glanced at Anna, their eyes meeting with knowing smiles and shy blushes for the hundredth time. She flushed with heat just at the thought of what they did. Both of them were still buzzing but now they were fading back into real life Elsa wasn't sure how to handle the new relationship. She knew she wanted Anna, that was clear as day. But Anna was only 15. Elsa almost face-palmed as she realised what she had just done with her best friend was illegal by law.

 _I'm such an idiot._ Elsa was inhaling sharply now. She closed her eyes and took deep and deliberate breaths. She couldn't get brave or reckless now. She needed to keep her emotions firmly in check before she did something stupid like cause a storm.

That wasn't the only thing on her mind either. She'd known for a while now that she wasn't interested in boys but the thought of having to explain that to her parents filled her with dread. Being kept away from potential suitors was quite possibly the only positive thing that had come from her having powers.

 _How will I ever tell them? Would they even allow me to court an underage girl with no wealth or standing?_ Just thinking it made her realise just how stupid it sounded. They'd never allow it.

 _Could we just hide it all?_ Elsa wondered, catching Anna's eye again. _It wouldn't be fair on her... but what if it was the only way?_

* * *

Anna watched Elsa through the flickering fire with dampened excitement. She had never believed Elsa would be so... bold. And not to mention loving. Anna shuddered again at how gentle Elsa was just an hour earlier.

 _She treated me like glass._ The memory made her smile. _And she likes me as much as I do her._ Anna's smile fell as she glanced again at Elsa. She knew in that moment that whatever was to become of them the journey wouldn't be as easy as their fumble in the woods. They were both so sure earlier.

 _Elsa was so sure._ Anna knew Elsa well enough to know what she was thinking at this moment. The woman had always had a strong and guarded wall in place but Anna had slipped through enough times to see the lonely girl on the other side. Elsa had even admitted as much.

 _I need to be the strong one._ She concluded, knowing Elsa would crush herself from the responsibilities that would come from their relationship. The conflict of emotions was as clear to her as a reflection in the mirror. She had so many more expectations from her parents. Not only that but she was also two years older. Not that age mattered to Anna. Now Elsa had let her in they could face anything together.

 _Everything will be ok, Elsa. I'll take care of you._

* * *

The sunlight streamed in through the open curtains. Elsa had never been one to sleep in and the moment the light touched her skin she was wide awake. She stretched under the covers as her hazy mind flicked through the early morning thoughts. She had never felt so relaxed. An arm reached around her. A messy plume of red hair snuggled into her side. Elsa's fingers weaved through the curls. Anna was beside her. _Anna was beside her._ Elsa's eyes bolted open as the events of the previous night crashed upon her. Her head and heart raced. And then she smiled the largest smile she had ever smiled. Anna had been nothing short of a goddess. Even if today would be the worst day of their lives Elsa vowed to treasure the memory of last night.

With smooth and silent motions, Elsa moved Anna's arm and slipped out of bed. She spent the morning showering and cooking up a feast for breakfast. Apprehension of what would become of them after her confession tugged at her but every time she felt overwhelmed she thought of Anna's words, no her _actions_ from last night. There was no doubt Anna would be shocked by Elsa's power but she'd understand that everything was an accident. She had to.

 _...But if she doesn't..._ The thought of losing Anna was like a knife through her heart. She couldn't let herself think of that outcome.

Burying her head in the sand and focusing on what was going right in her life, she cooked up a mountain of pancakes with a contented sigh.

Her phone buzzed on the kitchen counter and she swiped to answer.

"Olaf? Thanks for bringing us home last night," Elsa said cheerily as she flipped a pancake.

 _"Have you seen the news?"_ His tone was strained and direct.

Elsa froze, the pancake still on the hob. "Olaf?" She questioned, only moving enough to hit the remote to turn the TV on.

 _"Elsa-"_

She hung up. On the screen was a video of her and Anna in the bedroom from last night. Audio and visual footage were distorted but it showed enough.

Her world fell apart.

A high pitched squeal of her smoke alarm finally made her move. She pulled the burning pancake from the hob and threw it in the sink. Smoke engulfed the kitchen. She rushed to the window in an attempt to air the room out.

"Elsa?" Anna called from the bedroom above the siren.

"Don't! Don't come out!" Elsa fumbled for the remote. The storm in her mind was just inches from overflowing into the apartment. She couldn't believe she hadn't already pulled the building down.

Anna exited the bedroom, naked and goddamn perfect. She gazed at the TV. Censored images of her and Elsa doing _everything_ to each other were plastered across the screen. The headline flashed up: _Elsa Arendelle records scandalous sex tape with female lover as her father passes away._

Elsa didn't move.

 _Father._

"...Elsa I am so sorry," Anna whispered.

Elsa felt her strength falter. There was no storm. Hearing the news of her father's passing had been enough to mute all of her emotions. Had he heard about this indiscretion before he died? She felt nothing but shame.

...and anger. All of this was as much his fault as it was her own. If he had done things differently... He had pushed her away as much as she had pushed him.

She fell to her knees and within seconds Anna's warm arms were cradling her. She leaned into her lover unable to get her thoughts straight. This news would be everywhere.

Anna had been right. She should have gone home straight away. In her denial she refused to think about how she'd feel if she never got to see her father again. Now it was happening and there was nothing she could do to tear her life from this track it was free-falling down. She'd never get to tell her father that he was wrong. He'd never see the life she had made here. She'd never have the chance to make him proud. She'd never get to say 'I love you'.

 _I was such a fool._

She wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. Anna rubbed her back gently.

"I'm here for you, Elsa," she said ever so quietly and Elsa snapped up to face her. How was she so calm? How was she keeping it together? Didn't she understand the gravity of what was happening?

Elsa pulled away, needing her own space to think.

"We were filmed having sex while my father-" she stopped herself. The anger was growing, as with it a new storm boiled up within her. She couldn't do this now. Not in front of Anna, but she needed to let it out.

Just how the hell had that video been taken? How had it gotten out?

 _Hans._

"Hans did this," Elsa breathed as she unravelled it in her mind. Everything added up. She didn't know his motivation, but now she had thought it she couldn't stop her racing thoughts. She was on her feet pacing around the apartment, running a hand furiously through her loose blonde hair.

"Hans wouldn't have done this," Anna was quick to defend him.

"He came into the office and deliberately invited me to the party. He told me you were going." Elsa closed her eyes as she held back the brewing storm. "He knew I'd go."

"That's like putting 2 and 2 together and coming out with 100. Elsa-"

"How could I have been so stupid? Doing _that_ at a high profile party!" Elsa was shaking with rage and regret. "If father saw that before he..." She couldn't finish the sentence. She could envision the disappointment and shame as clear as day. The chance his final thoughts of her were of _that_ crushed her.

Anna folded her arms from across the room. "He was a grown-up, Elsa. Grown-ups have sex all of the time. He has thousands of other memories to hold onto. One evening doesn't define you and I'm sure it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before-"

"They don't see their only daughter on the news doing it with another woman!" Elsa snapped back.

She felt the temperature begin to drop as the frost formed on her fingertips. She needed to get away. With wild eyes she glanced around the room. How the hell would she get Anna out of here? The woman wasn't even dressed. Elsa could hardly run into the hall. She'd freeze the whole landing. Even if she made it to the car park she'd never be able to drive.

Elsa did the only thing she could think to do: run into her bedroom.

"Elsa!" Anna called as she chased after her. Elsa had the door firmly shut as the redhead crashed into it.

Alone, Elsa was finally able to let the torrent of emotion break free. The storm claimed the room.

"Elsa, open this door up right now!" Anna called as she banged on it. "Trashing your room won't make you feel any better!"

It took Elsa a good half a minute to realise Anna was referring to the sound of the blizzard tearing the room to pieces. She was grateful she didn't have to make up another lame excuse to cover up everything.

"Go away, Anna!" She called back as she slid down the door.

Every time she'd broken down like this she felt weak; as if all of her energy was feeding into powering the chaos around her. It had always sapped her of everything. This time was different. This time felt like she couldn't feed it fast enough. She had never felt so much power. The desire to fuel the storm and tear the building apart tugged at her but she held back as best she could.

"I'm not leaving you like this. I know it's hard and I know what you're going through. Let me help you-"

"You have no idea what it's like!" Elsa yelled back. Nails gripped her head as her body shook from the waterfall of frozen tears.

"I have every idea what it's like, or did you just forget that I lost both of my parents? Oh and a few weeks later my girlfriend walked out on me too," Anna called back in annoyance and Elsa winced. She knew she had stepped out of line the moment she had spoken. "I didn't have to be perfect but neither did you! You could have been whatever you wanted; they'd have accepted it eventually! You chose not to. And dammit you knew your dad was sick!" Now Anna had started she just wouldn't stop. Elsa held her head tighter. She couldn't bear to hear any of this. "You chose not to go and see him!"

"You think I don't know that!" Elsa shouted back, needing to do anything to stop Anna. "You think I want to be like this!? I never asked for any of this! I wish I could be like you! I wish I could be normal and for every day to just be easy!"

A momentary silence ensued. The storm continued to tear the room apart and Elsa could only pray it didn't overflow out into the living room.

"If you think every day of my life is easy then you are the one who has no idea!" Anna snapped back. "My parents might have understood me but that didn't mean life was easy! Do you have any idea what it was like to have second-hand school uniforms that don't fit properly? Losing your house because your family can't afford the mortgage repayments? We were in emergency housing for three months! I never had what the other kids had. I didn't have big birthdays. My parents worked so hard just to keep us together and I was grateful!"

Elsa wiped her frozen tears away. _How am I still so blind to everything and everyone? I am so wrapped up in my own problems I never see anything else._ Her head thudded against the door in frustration. _Why can't I be strong?_

In a flash of adrenaline, Elsa rose to her feet and flung the door open. Anna wouldn't believe the blizzard but Elsa couldn't hide it any longer. Anna could know it all. After everything today Elsa wasn't sure she could fall any harder.

Except when she opened the door she wasn't face to face with those bright teal eyes. She tentatively stepped out, the blizzard flooding the living room as she did.

"Anna?" She called. Fighting her way through the storm, she caught a glimpse of the front door ajar.

 _That stupid girl hasn't seriously gone outside naked._

* * *

Anna was seething as she stomped out the apartment building in nothing but a pair of trainers and one of Elsa's long coats. Thank god the woman owned a long coat otherwise she'd have been well and truly stuck. Elsa had all of their clothes held hostage in her bedroom and there was no way she was getting in there to get anything out.

"Where the hell am I supposed to go?" She muttered aloud. It was a stupid question; she knew exactly where she was going. There was only one other person in this city she could possibly go to. Well, aside from Olaf but she was certain he'd already be chasing after Elsa. It wasn't like she could have stayed out in the winter weather like this long enough for Elsa to cool off.

 _Thank god my phone wasn't in the bedroom; if it was I'd really have been screwed._

As Anna waited out on the street she reflected on Elsa. Everything had been so perfect last night. She relived the memory in her mind. It still sent a shiver down her spine, even knowing it was out there for everyone else to see.

Things had been going so well. Elsa was starting to talk to her, she was going to go home again. The timing of last night had been terrible. _I was supposed to be being patient with her._ Anna sighed inwardly. She was at war with herself over just how much shit she was supposed to take from her lover. It somehow always played out this way but Anna remained strong in her conviction. Elsa had been out of line. It wasn't like at the games night. This time it was serious. _She thinks she is the only one who has had it hard. She makes life difficult for herself. She's her own worst enemy._

Anna glanced down at her messages before looking up again as a posh car pulled up, then again anything shiny with a personalised number plate went down as posh in her books.

The window rolled down and Hans gave her a sympathetic smile. "Jump in."

Thank the heavens he was free to meet her.

"Thanks for picking me up." Anna climbed into the passenger seat and strapped herself in.

He gave her a once over before pulling back out onto the road. "Are you really naked underneath that?"

Anna held her head in her hands. _Christ._ It was going to be a long day.

"I couldn't get to my clothes. Elsa locked herself in the bedroom," Anna replied exasperated.

Hans whistled. "I guess she saw the news," he said lightly.

 _That was the understatement of the century._

"She didn't just see it. She totally freaked out. Like I get it, her dad died. It sucks. But she treats it like she's the only person to ever go through that sort of shit," Anna paused mid-rant and looked over to Hans.

"Tell me honestly, did you film us last night?" She asked him straight. She hadn't believed Elsa's accusations but now she had brought them up she needed to know the truth.

"Seriously Anna, I didn't record you and your girlfriend," he promised her. "I'm a little offended you used my father's party for a quick thrill, but you're not the first and I doubt you'll be the last."

Anna relaxed into the passenger seat. What she had done with Elsa last night was irresponsible and probably very rude, but she wouldn't regret it even after all of this.

"Sorry. She's just making me paranoid," she murmured the apology.

"It's ok, really. You both looked like you enjoyed yourself."

Anna looked around at him sharply, meeting mischievous emerald eyes. _No way._ The shame was building.

"Please tell me you didn't watch it." Anna's face went scarlet. She hid behind her hands, only peeking through a gap between her fingers.

"I was curious," he shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "You two were hot."

Anna was certain she had just died inside from embarrassment. He couldn't be serious. She peeked again to reveal he really was. Why would he have watched that? Then again, the whole world was probably watching it. It was no doubt going viral even as she sat there. Even if someone didn't care to view it they probably would just to see what the fuss was about. And he had called her hot. _Christ._

"I can't believe you!" She punched his arm, causing him to swerve. Hans let out a laugh in response.

"What can I say? I wanted to know what the fuss was about." He looked her over once more and Anna's face was in her hands again. What the hell was she doing?

He wasn't making it any better but Anna just shook her head exasperated. She couldn't be mad at him. Sure it was probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her, but Hans had been a gentleman up until this point. As she glanced over at him again she recalled that she was his guest at the party. _Oh shit. Not only did I ditch him but I totally humiliated him. I really am a horrible human being._ Anna berated herself. And even after all of this she had come running back to him. She needed to sort her life out and fast.

"Thanks again for picking me up... and you know, not getting mad at me for sleeping around at your dad's party. I was your guest. I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble," she said in shame.

"Don't sweat it. I say this in the nicest possible way, but everyone is into Elsa right now. You have the luxury of being a side note. I doubt the papers and news reports will even have your name," he spoke so casually of it all.

Anna wanted to take comfort in that but it just reminded her of Elsa and how badly she was handling everything. _Of course she'd be upset. She's the one with the reputation. No one will care about a nobody like me. I shouldn't have walked out._ Anna groaned in newfound regret. But something about the way Elsa was so wrapped up in herself brought back old unresolved feelings which Anna didn't even realise she was still holding on to. Elsa had never been there for her when she lost her parents. Going through this again, even if it wasn't her own loss, was too raw.

"Do you want to talk about it over a drink?" Hans asked.

"I'd love to." Anna nodded, desperately needing to relax. "Right after I get some new clothes."

* * *

Blues washed against yellow. Each stroke was drawn with such purpose. A ship crashing against waves at sunset. Elsa's eyes were firmly fixed upon the paining even as Olaf set a paper bag full of doughnuts down in front of her.

"I'm so sorry," He said quietly.

Elsa didn't reply. She barely heard him above the crashing of the waves in her mind. She envisioned the ship at war with the sea. The small vessel trying to fight its way through the violent waves. The water using all of its might to drag it down into its murky depths. It was playing out exactly as her life was right now. She had drifted into a storm and she was sinking. She couldn't stop it.

The hand on her own caused her to let out a gasp of surprise.

"Tell me what happened."

Elsa glanced at Olaf but didn't speak. What was there to say? She had finally found a spark of what she had dreamed of and the rest of her life had shattered to pieces. It was overdramatic, Elsa knew that. She didn't have to push Anna away. It was just easier than facing her. _I always choose the easy option; the coward's option._ She berated herself. _Anna deserves better._

Elsa glanced down at her vibrating phone. It was her therapist. _Gods._ No doubt the woman had pieced everything together. That tape and the news headlines were hardly inconspicuous. Elsa ignored it the call but text back a reply.

 _I'm ok. Talk on Thursday. Elsa._

Elsa rested her head on the table as she tried to make sense of everything that had happened. Not only had she lost her father but she'd managed to push Anna away. Again.

Olaf served up a hot chocolate complete with whipped cream and sprinkles. It wasn't helping. All it did was make her think of Anna even more. _How could I have yelled at her like that? It wasn't her fault._

Her phone vibrated again. She froze. The caller ID blinked 'Mother'.

"...Are you going to answer that?" Olaf asked from across the table. His eyes glanced between the phone between them and Elsa.

"No," Elsa said without hesitation.

"Shall I?" He offered. A dread filled Elsa at just the thought of being forced to confront her mother. She wasn't ready. She wasn't sure she'd ever be.

A silence fell upon them filled only by the incessant vibrating of her mobile phone. Elsa reached for it. Olaf was too quick. He already had it to his ear.

"Hello, Elsa's phone," Olaf greeted her mother.

She considered for a moment jumping across the small table, snatching it from his hands and throwing it out of the window. But the distant hum of her mother's voice caused her to hesitate.

"Yes, she's here," he confirmed. She caught his eye. He was doing this for the right reasons, she knew that. But she couldn't do this now. Not after what had happened. Elsa found her courage and boldly leapt across that table. Olaf somehow skidded back out of his chair and across the room. Elsa knocked both of their hot drinks over and swore under her breath.

"...Olaf, her friend and business partner. No, I don't think she is ready to talk just yet. But she's ok. I'll stay with her," He promised.

"Shit," Elsa muttered as she backed away from the scolding hot liquid.

Olaf let out a low hum and Elsa caught his eye again, pausing as she brushed herself down.

"...No..." She breathed, eyes wide in terror.

Too late.

 _"Elsa?"_ Her mother's voice said over the loudspeaker. Elsa couldn't move. She couldn't think. _"Your father and I love you."_

Elsa couldn't contain the snow and wind that brushed through the room.

 _"I won't apologise for sending Anna to you."_

Gods, why was she talking about Anna? Elsa slapped a hand to her head. Of course her mother had seen the news. Everyone in the whole world must have seen that.

 _"Is she with you now?"_

When there was no reply, Olaf answered for her. "No."

 _"Don't let her go."_ A pause. " _We have so much to talk about. Please come home. You don't have to stay... I just... want to see you."_ The sincerity in her words crushed Elsa.

"She will come visit," Olaf replied for her. Elsa looked up distraught as soon as he had said it. "Just give us a few days."

Elsa could have wrung his neck out for promising such a thing.

 _"And bring Anna back too,"_ Iduna added.

Elsa crumbled. The storm around them grew, knocking pots and pans from the kitchen surface. Hearing her mother's voice, so gentle yet so sincere, it was too much. There was no judgement or blame. It only made Elsa feel even more guilty. She didn't deserve such forgiveness.

"I'll stay with her," Olaf promised.

 _"Elsa... stay safe. Call me if you need me."_

Elsa stood stunned as the call disconnected.

"You had no right to do that... No right-" Elsa was cut off as the boy embraced her. She buried her head into his scruffy black locks.

"I'm not letting you run away this time. And I won't let you face it alone. Both me and Anna are here for you," He promised her as he rubbed her back.

She leaned into him, letting the torrent of emotions consume her.

After everything she had done how could she go home now? How could she face her mother? Before all of that she needed to make it up to Anna but what could she say to make it all alright? Anna had been right, as always. Elsa hadn't sat back and considered anyone else. And then there was the matter of that sex tape being leaked. The shame it brought upon her family was too much to bear. _Anna was in that tape too. She must feel just as awful._ It was just more guilt to add to the mountain she already carried.

 _Anna... Father... I'm so sorry..._

* * *

 **A/N: Poor Elsa. She just can't catch a break.  
**

 **I'm jetting over to NYC to see Frozen on Broadway again this week. I'm not going to promise I'm going to update while I'm away, but knowing me I'll probably be on such a Frozen high I won't be able to stop myself.**

 **To Anon, thanks for the review! I didn't expect to have chapters out so quickly either. I actually started writing this about 3 weeks before I started publishing it so I had a bit of a headstart but even so it has taken over my life. I wish I had more time to sit and write because right now I'm fitting it in whenever I can get a free few minutes. Back when I started this I very almost didn't bother to publish it at all as I wasn't convinced I'd be able to write a whole story coherently so I'm glad you like it :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - Daddy isn't here to protect you anymore**

The morning copper sky extended across the cityscape without a cloud in sight. It was a beautifully chilling winter day and Anna spent it on the balcony of her penthouse hotel suite wrapped up in both of the luxury bathrobes provided for her, along with double duvet from the bed. Staying here had been extravagant and quite frankly in her opinion a waste of good money but Iduna had given her thousands for this endeavour and she had barely spent a penny of it. Even her train tickets were pre-booked to get the cheapest possible rate. For once in her life Anna would be reckless in her spending.

After getting drunk with Hans, again, she quickly realised she had wanted nothing more than to go back to Elsa but after finally biting the bullet and texting her lover there had been no reply.

Elsa was grieving and Anna had no idea how she could help her when she was so unwilling to be helped. She had stayed up half the night in case she called but to Anna's disappointment she hadn't heard a peep from her. _Maybe I should have gone back last night._

Anna hadn't entirely forgiven the blonde but now she'd had time to think about it she could sit back and accept Elsa was being irrational. She was in a stressful situation. Ok, so it was partially self-inflicted, but even so, Anna could make some allowances. If only they could sit down and talk like a normal couple. _I run away as much as she does._

The buzz from her phone made Anna immediately look down. Her heart raced as she waited the few nanoseconds for the screen to light up. Disappointment twisted her gut as she saw it was Hans and not Elsa. He wanted to meet for breakfast. It wasn't what she had wanted to do this morning but she did owe him for all of his support and somehow being able to sit and talk so openly to someone really helped her sort her head out.

 _Sure. Meet you at 10._ Anna text him back.

 _Wow, you're actually awake. I'm impressed. See you soon. X_

Anna rolled her eyes. She could wake up at a decent hour when she wanted to... Ok, so maybe she couldn't. Worry was the only thing keeping her awake right now. With a deep sigh, she typed up another message to Elsa.

 _I'm sorry. I hope you're ok. Let's meet today. Call me._

Anna hesitated. Should she put kisses? She had never done before, but after that night at the ball they were definitely more than just friends. That couldn't be disputed anymore.

She added a few just to be safe.

"...and send," she murmured, watching the message fly away on her screen.

* * *

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Anna's father sat back on the bench they shared in the park. The sun was shining and Elsa felt in that moment like the luckiest girl alive.

"Really beautiful," She agreed, her eyes never leaving Anna's back. Anna and her mother had gone to pick up ice creams, leaving Elsa and her father to wait. Elsa hadn't questioned why they couldn't all go together. It wasn't like they had loads of bags. Their entire luggage from the trip was still in the car. This stop was just a break for Anna's father from the long journey driving, not that they were far from home now. Apparently after every one of their camping trips they stopped here. Come rain or shine they always had an ice cream in the park. Elsa smiled again, grateful to be part of their little tradition.

"You know, Elsa, it's been really nice to have you along for our holiday. You bring out the best in Anna."

Elsa blushed lightly.

"And I know I'm probably-no definitely overstepping some sort of line here, but I really need to tell you that it's ok."

Elsa stiffened. Her mind raced. Was he talking about last night? No one else was there, she was certain. She took a breath convincing herself she was being paranoid.

"Anna's mother was four years younger when I met her and instantly we hit it off. But when you're a teenager it's a big difference. People don't trust you to make your own choices."

And there it was. Confirmation they were talking about the thing Elsa dreaded most. She had barely collected her own thoughts in front of Anna. And now she was having that conversation with Anna's father. _Too soon._ Her palms grew cold as she glanced around hoping that something, anything could end this conversation.

"I was the older one too. You feel like all of the responsibility is on you." He wasn't stopping. Why wasn't he stopping? Elsa felt a chilly wind brush her cheeks. _Not now. Please not now._ She was practically begging herself. Her hands clenched into fists as the sky slowly darkened.

"H-How did you know?" Elsa asked the question without thought. She felt stupid the moment she said it. Was she really that obvious? Anna's father let out a small chuckle.

"It wasn't exactly hard to see but Anna has spoken to us about... things."

 _Anna speaks to you about that stuff?_ She wanted to shout at him but as her lips opened no noise escaped.

"She's a very honest and open girl. Well, most of the time. She was rather devious about this camping trip. Your parents never would have let you go if they had time to think on it."

 _That was planned too?_ Was Anna and her mother walking off to get ice creams planned as well? Elsa's heart was thumping in her chest as she stared straight ahead. At the sight of snowflakes she knew it was time to run.

"I'm sorry to spring it on you like this. I know your father has high expectations of you. Anyway, I've rambled enough. Just know you can choose the option that makes you happy. Even if your family doesn't approve you'd always be welcome with us." His gentle words and smile only strengthened Elsa's resolve to run.

"E-excuse me, Mr Summers. I really have to go-" and with that Elsa was on her feet. The storm had arrived. She ran through the park as the wind lashed her face. The snow was heavy now and was settling. She paused only when the muscles in her legs pained her too much to go on. She fell to her knees and touched her cheeks. Frozen tears lined her face. When had she started crying?

"Elsa!" The call jolted her back to reality. She looked up to see Anna's father taking tentative steps towards her. She looked back down at her hands. _He knows. He knows you are a monster. You couldn't even keep your attraction to Anna secret. Of course he knows you caused this storm._

"Elsa try to lay yourself flat." The instructions caught her off guard. She looked over at him again in confusion. At the sound of a deep crack it all clicked into place.

Elsa was sat in the middle of the frozen lake.

 _Get yourself together!_ She silently berated herself as she looked around. The crack had been the ice. Perhaps if she could concentrate she could reform it.

"Please stay back!" She called to Anna's father, one palm against the sheet of ice below her.

"I'm going to get you back to shore Elsa, don't panic," he told her calmly completely ignoring her. She wanted to scream at him. She could fix this if he just listened. In her frustration the wind buffeted them even more.

 _Stay calm. Conceal, don't feel._ She told herself with clenched teeth. She felt the ice beneath her grow thicker. Good. Maybe Anna's father would be able to play the hero and drag her off of the lake after all.

"Elsa! Dad!" The voice made Elsa's blood run cold. Elsa looked up and through the storm the fiery redhead was charging towards them.

"Anna no, I don't have time-the ice-" Elsa's voice was cut off by a crack. Before her eyes Anna disappeared into the lake. All of Elsa's resolve faltered. The sheet of ice beneath them all shattered.

* * *

She closed her eyes as the water submerged her. Everything was still. The icy cold would have been a shock to an ordinary person but Elsa found comfort in it.

Her eyes snapped open when she remembered just what had happened. In the murky water she could barely make out shapes. Acting purely on instinct, she swam. Legs kicked and arms pumped until her muscles burned with pain. She took a breath from the craggy surface and dived again. In her mind she counted: 8 minutes left. She swam deeper knowing a normal person couldn't survive long in these temperatures. Another breath at the surface and she dived again. 5 minutes left. Panic was setting in. Subconsciously she felt a tug of warmth. The sensation was unlike anything she had felt before. Not questioning it, she followed it. The flash of red made her heart skip a beat. She wrapped her arms around Anna's unconscious form and dragged her to the surface. Before she could even work out how she was going to pull her from the lake strong arms heaved them both up.

"We have two here!" She heard a man shout. She was half carried half dragged through the slushy water to the frozen shore. She glanced over to see Anna laid out beside her. Her motionless form made her heart break.

"Anna," she breathed, hand reaching out to take hers. "Stay with me Anna." The last thing Elsa remembered was clutching her friend's frozen hand.

* * *

Elsa took deep breaths as she walked through the park. Ever since the incident with Anna's family she had avoided these places; open areas, especially with lakes, it brought back memories she'd rather forget. But here she was regardless, unable to refuse a request from Anna. She looked down at her phone again. 12:34. Anna was four minutes late. This wasn't a surprise however. Anna was rarely on time for anything.

She looked over the message again. Anna had messaged her this morning requesting to meet and merely an hour later she suggested the park. Elsa had considered not showing up but she couldn't avoid her forever. Not only that, Elsa had needed the excuse to see her. Spending the night without Anna had made her realise just how much she missed her. _You opened your heart for just a day and now you can't bear to be without her. Nevermind breaking her heart, you're never going to survive this._

Elsa took a seat on the wooden bench and tried to get her thoughts in order. She owed her friend the biggest apology in the world for the outburst yesterday. She had been out of line. Anna had been through this and worse. Sure, the girl didn't have the burden of potentially unleashing her ice magic on the world, but she had lost her family. Elsa held her heart as the reality of it being her own fault came crashing down upon her again. She had tried so hard to move on, to forget but Anna coming back into her life had made everything so vibrant and real again.

 _How can I ever repent?_ The guilt weighed heavy.

"Elsa?" Anna's musical voice caught her by surprise. Elsa looked up and gave her a sad smile. It faded as fast as it came at the redhead's dumbfounded expression. "Why are you here? I mean-I'm happy to see you-I just didn't expect to."

Elsa looked down to her phone again to check the message. "You invited me?" It came out as a question. Anna patted herself down as she searched each pocket.

"Sorry Anna, I really had to borrow this."

Elsa cringed at the voice. Hans stepped into view behind them waving Anna's phone in one hand. He tossed it back over to Anna who, surprisingly, caught it.

"I wanted to talk to you both. We have a bit of unfinished business to clear up."

Elsa looked Hans in the eye and her stomach twisted. How Anna couldn't see how toxic he was astounded her. _She can't see how toxic you are either._ Shame overcame her.

"There has clearly been a mistake. I'll leave you to your... whatever this is." Elsa couldn't bring herself to say the word date. She sharply turned to leave when Hans opened the tablet he held in his other hand.

"28th June 2014. A localised blizzard occurred in Vardaros Park. Temperatures plummeted from 23 degrees Celsius to -5 in a record time. By all accounts it was written off as a weather anomaly."

Elsa froze, barely taking a step. He knew. It was at that moment Elsa felt all her strength desert her. How did he know?

"At least that's what the newspapers reported. Mr Arendelle must have called in a lot of favours to keep it so brief. It barely made it into the papers. If they'd really known what had happened it'd have been front page material, for sure."

Elsa turned to face Hans, eyes wet with unshed tears. She knew she was vulnerable and she hated herself for it. Even so her face begged him to stop; begged him for mercy. He smiled back with that slimy, smug, self satisfied grin. His sick elation only seemed to increase as Elsa played right into his hands. The storm around them had started the moment he mentioned the date.

"W-what are you talking about?" Anna's breath caught as she looked between them both bewildered.

"Would you like to tell her? Or shall I?" Hans, in all his generosity handed the floor over to Elsa. She looked at Anna helplessly. Her lips parted but words couldn't escape. She had prepared so much for this moment yet now the time was here she couldn't so much as speak. She was a coward even now when she was forced to face everything.

"Guess it'll be me then. Hans tapped on his tablet. The Summers family were all in the water for a little under 15 minutes. The father drowned. He was a pretty good swimmer too, but freezing water can really shock you. The mother died from hypothermia after being rescued. Funny how there are no records of any injuries from the two girls yet witness reports say they were in the water longer than the mother. A miracle by all accounts."

The tears had fallen from Elsa's cheeks now. The guilt and storm around them was all the evidence Hans would need to validate his claims.

"Except we know better, don't we Elsa? You revealed everything to a person online by the name of 'Snowman267'. Your father was careful. And even after this one slip up you were careful too. You should really have used your father's home wifi. Ironic the heir to the world's biggest computer corporation used an unrestricted network to reveal her darkest secrets."

Elsa realised at that moment that she had used her standard mobile data network. Of course she had done. She always spoke to Olaf on her mobile data. How could she have been so stupid? She had always been paranoid enough to believe her father monitored her internet traffic. It was the only way to escape his keen eyes. And it had completely and totally backfired. Why hadn't she considered espionage? She was naive not to consider her father's enemies. It was all so frustratingly obvious.

Hans tapped a button on his tablet and a video popped up. He set the volume to max. Elsa heard the sound of her sobs from the speaker and her blood ran cold. She fell to her knees in horror. Anna would get the truth from her, even if was recorded four years ago. She closed her eyes tight unable to look at either of them as the conversation unfolded.

 _"Wow Elsa. Your room is covered in snow,"_

A pause.

 _"Do you want to build a snowman? You'd be on your own, of course. But I could instruct you. I make the best snowmen."_

Another pause.

 _"I've done something terrible."_

 _"Tell me all about it."_

 _"Well... I went on the trip with Anna. It was so perfect. I really think I love her."_

Elsa's eyes snapped open to meet Anna's equally as distraught expression. This wasn't how she wanted to tell her. She had spent the past four years denying it. Telling herself she couldn't subject Anna to any of this. And yet here she was, tearing her friend-no, her love, apart.

 _"But at the lake..."_ the audio of Elsa's voice hitched between sobs. _"Her father was being so kind and understanding. He read me like a book and it terrified me. My father always made me hide everything: my powers, my feelings. I was failing him. But I was being given a choice to step away from him too. I was so afraid. Afraid of what he'd do if he found out about Anna and I. Afraid of what he'd do if I left. Afraid of how I'd keep myself in check without his protection. I needed space. All I wanted was space."_ A pause. _"I ran. And when I realised where I was I was standing on the frozen lake. I had frozen the whole park in a heartbeat. Before I knew it Anna's father was trying to help me off. He knew how dangerous it was but he didn't realise I wasn't the one in danger. My head cleared and I managed to thicken the ice beneath us. It would have been ok. And then-"_

Elsa held Anna's teal eyed gaze. The disbelief and betrayal staring back at her was too much to handle but she couldn't look away no matter how much she wanted to.

 _"-Anna was there, running towards us like an idiot. She fell through the ice and my world shattered; the lake shattered. I don't know how I got her out. I held her hand so tightly,"_ Elsa's voice hitched again. _"I'm a monster. I killed them."_ The confession was absolute.

Hans paused the playback. Elsa didn't care. Anna didn't need to hear anymore. It didn't change what she had done. What she could so easily do someone else.

She was gazing at Anna for a response, for judgement. She'd face it all.

Anna wiped her tears away, an expression of hurt and sorrow radiating from every feature. Elsa caught Anna's fist shake and she understood her anger. She deserved to be furious at her. Elsa knew lying to her about this was quite possibly the second, or perhaps third most awful thing she could do to her best friend, right behind committing the act and remaining her friend, no, her lover.

"I need space to think," Anna choked out after a moment. She spun and within a flash she was gone. Elsa didn't follow. She didn't even bother to wipe away her frozen tears.

"Wow, that was better than I could have hoped." Hans gave Elsa a slow clap. He knelt down before her and took her chin in his hand.

"Daddy isn't here to protect you anymore and we still have a lot more to discuss."

* * *

Anna fought her way through the blizzard relentlessly. Her body was shaking in anger. How could Elsa have kept this from her? How could Elsa have kept everything from her? The... _magic_ , for lack of a better word, was insane. Anna could understand her hiding that. Hell, she wasn't even sure what to make of it yet. But the circumstances of her parents deaths? She was infuriated. She had spent every day for almost four years wishing to be close to her friend again. Many of those years spent in the Arendelle's care. _They all knew._ She couldn't come to terms with it.

And just what the hell was Hans doing? Did he know this whole time too? He was her friend. Was it all a lie? Was this all about Elsa the whole time?

The betrayal ran deep. The more she stewed on it the more questions she had.

 _Am I really so naive?_

In true Anna style, she tripped over her feet and landed face down in a pile of snow. She groaned and rolled over.

"Need a hand up?" A familiar voice asked. She wiped the snow and tears away to see Olaf smiling down at her. She instantly knocked his hand away.

"You knew too," her reply was as cold as the weather. His face turned from confusion to one of deep concern.

"What happened, Anna? Elsa wouldn't have told you like this. She wouldn't have risked a storm."

Anna wanted to laugh in spite of herself. Olaf knew Elsa so perfectly well. Anna had known her longer and had been closer to her than anyone else and yet she knew nothing.

"Hans played the audio from when she told you everything. The day my parents-" A sob stopped her from finishing that sentence.

"Hans is here?"

Anna barely caught the look of alarm on Olaf's face through her blurry eyes as he bent down beside her.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. Elsa is sorry too, I know she is. But you need to listen to me. I don't know what Hans' game is but Elsa's in danger. I need you to tell me where she is," he asked her calmly.

Anna blinked and her stomach twisted. The thought of Elsa at the mercy of Hans chilled her. The way he had so cruelly used her purely to get a reaction from Elsa. Had he known about her connection to Elsa from the start?

 _Elsa knew he was bad news and I ignored her._ Anna cursed herself. She was still full of anger but the more she thought about Elsa slumped on her knees broken and alone the more she realised Elsa had been suffering just as much as she had been the past four years. She struggled to blame Elsa. She had pushed her best friend into all of this. Anna had been the one to spring the camping trip on her. Anna had been the one to initiate the kiss. Anna had spoken to her parents. Anna had asked her father to speak to Elsa. She had wanted Elsa to know it'd be ok even if her own family were against them. But she never could have anticipated this. No one could have, not even Elsa. It was an accident. _And now you've gone and left her more broken and vulnerable than ever with that psycho._ Anna berated herself. It was at that moment she realised the majority of the anger she felt was towards Hans. _He used me._ She clenched her fists at the betrayal.

"We need to get back to her." _Even if it's just so I can get real answers from her and not from Hans._ Anna looked up to Olaf who visibly relaxed. He nodded. She took his hand and together they ran.

* * *

 **A/N: I still can't get enough of Frozen on Broadway. It gets better every time I see it. Please book to go if you haven't already. They also have new merch (I bought a lot. I regret nothing).**

 **Soundtrack for this chapter is No Light, No Light by Florence. It's truly perfect for this angst-fest.**

 **And sorry Fly and my guest reviewer, Elsa's dad is very much dead. I very almost rephrased that sentence from Iduna but I couldn't get it right. There will be some resolution, but not for quite a while - we have so much more to get through first. Don't worry though, I won't forget about it (even if you think I have).  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – I owe her everything**

Elsa buried her face into the silk sheets. She breathed in the familiar scent of jasmine and rose. _Home._ Her hand trailed along her pillow in contentment. In this place on the edge of sleep there was no need to be afraid. She was safe.

It had felt like a lifetime since she was at home in her own bed. Her foggy mind tried to work out why that was moments before a sharp voice awakened her.

"Elsa. Look at me." The voice commanded her and Elsa immediately obeyed. At her father's voice her hazy mind had a sudden clarity. She brushed her loose blonde locks from her face and turned to face her father's stern gaze. It took all of her strength to sit unwavering. She wouldn't chew on her lip or run her sweaty palms along the bed sheets, as much as the fatigue made her want to just throw herself under those covers and hide from the world.

Agnarr's finger twitched on his lap as he observed her. That unreadable gaze was all too familiar from their countless games of chess. Except he never tapped or played with his fingers, and a twitch was close enough to both.

"Allowing you to go on that camping trip with the Summers' was a mistake."

All bravery fled. Elsa's throbbing head was in her hands now as she recalled the fleeting images. Her hand trailed down to her lips and her heart fluttered. _Anna_. Anna had returned her feelings. Any relief she felt from the moment was harshly crushed as memories of the park filled her vision.

"Anna-"

"Stranded in freezing water for 12 minutes," Agnarr confirmed without emotion. Elsa's eyes went wide and within seconds the temperature of the room plummeted. She couldn't stop it, not that she even cared to.

"She was taken to the local hospital but there was no evidence of hypothermia. Remarkably like you," he told her seemingly unsurprised.

His finger tapped now but Elsa barely noticed. Her heart lifted and the storm in the room subsided to a light flurry of snow. Anna was ok.

"Her parents however were not so fortunate."

Elsa froze again. The relief that had just freed her was swept away with the growing storm.

"Mr Summers died in the lake from asphyxiation. Mrs Summers passed away last night from hypothermia," his words didn't express his judgement: it was all in that unyielding gaze.

 _I killed two people. I killed Anna's family. Anna..._ Her nails dug into her scalp in despair. _How could I have let that happen? I knew it was dangerous to go on that trip and yet I-_

"Your mother and I have not done enough. We both assumed this... _condition..._ would resolve itself. We were mistaken. We're looking into finding someone who is familiar with this," He gestured around the room. A thick layer of snow blanketed everything. "We wanted to keep you away from tests and the like but your power is growing. We can't help you until we know more. We also believe it would beneficial for you to see a therapist," he hesitated and Elsa caught a rare flash of regret in those eyes, or was it just indecision? "...You aren't to leave the manor until further notice. Am I clear?"

She turned away in defeat. Her toxic thoughts buffeted her as much as the fierce storm in the room. She was ready to crumble and resign herself to any punishment, any rehabilitation her father wished of her.

 _I deserve this. No, I deserve worse. I'm so sorry Anna... Anna..._ And just by thinking her name the storm stood still. Something snapped inside her.

"Anna is 15." Elsa found herself speaking with a renewed resolve. "She'll be put into care. I owe her everything." Her gaze met her father's. She did not flinch or look away. She had never been surer of anything.

"Become her guardian, at least until she is old enough to move out. Give her everything. Do this for me and I'll endure whatever you ask of me." She would have done as he wished regardless, and she was certain he knew that. Even so, she couldn't think of any other leverage.

"No. This is not up for debate." Agnarr shook his head without hesitation.

Elsa's jaw clenched. "Then I'll turn myself into the police. It might not be murder but I'm certain it would count as manslaughter," Elsa challenged him defiantly.

Her father's steely gaze flickered to one of intense irritation. They stared into each other's souls, searching to see if the other would break. Elsa held fast. Thoughts of Anna out in the world alone haunted her. The naive redhead would be taken advantage of at every opportunity. She couldn't allow that. It might be cruel, it might be a betrayal but at least she'd be safe.

"...Fine," Agnarr relented. Elsa let out a gasp, unaware she'd been holding her breath. Elsa never asked much from her parents; in fact this may have been the first thing she had ever expressed a wish for, but she had not expected her father to give in.

"Anna will be looked after," he assured her. Elsa was still sat dumbfounded. The fiery resolve had left her body the moment she had won.

Agnarr's irritation faded away as he sat back in his chair in thought. Conflict warred across his features but even as she watched him wrestle with the words she couldn't understand why he was in such indecision.

 _Here I am demanding more when he works so hard to protect me. Of course he is disappointed. If I was just normal we could all have been so happy._ She closed her eyes in shame. She didn't regret forcing him to protect Anna but she did regret everything else.

"Elsa..." he continued after some deliberation. "You're going to be ok." His hand reached across and swept a stray lock of hair from her face. She flinched under the unexpected brush of contact.

In the dimly lit room she boldly looked up into his emerald eyes. It was always impossible to see what he was thinking behind that mask.

 _Be strong._

Somehow she had kept the storm at a gentle calm but she knew it could overflow again at any moment. She didn't let herself think of what she had done. She needed to remain calm and in control before her father.

 _Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show._ Everything was numb, her mind forced blank.

Agnarr looked her over for another minute before letting out a low sigh. "I suggest you rest for the evening. Call for Kai when you're hungry. He'll have something made up for you."

"Thank you, Father," Elsa replied formally. Agnarr rose to his feet and brushed the snow from his suit. He gave her one last lingering look before taking his leave.

Elsa slumped back into the damp bed and as soon as the door closed she allowed her emotions to run wild. Now her father was gone she was too weak to fight it.

The storm raged around her alongside regret, shame and most of all guilt.

Reaching across to her bedside table, Elsa pulled her tablet off and plopped it on her lap. Brushing the snow aside, she tapped the screen on.

 _Snowman267: I saw the freak storm on the news earlier. You ok?_

Elsa smiled despite herself. The message was from yesterday.

 _Batman53: No. I messed up really, really bad. I need help, Olaf._

Elsa sat back; eyes closed as the gravity of what she had done came crashing down upon her. She had killed two people. And even worse, those two people had been Anna's parents. She gritted her teeth, chest heaving as she struggled to keep her breathing level.

The tablet pinged.

 _Snowman267: I thought we agreed codenames only._

 _Batman53: I'm being serious!_

 _Snowman267: I know ...I'm sending you my number. Call me._

Elsa blinked in surprise. There before her eyes was the personal number of the stranger she had met online. Was calling him really a smart idea? She had no idea who he was aside from the anonymous snippets of conversation they had. Was she really that desperate? The answer was a resounding yes. She had started the video chat before she even had time to process she was doing it.

A pale, scruffy looking kid with impossibly big blue eyes popped up on her screen.

"Wow Elsa. Your room is covered in snow," He said in awestruck surprise and Elsa immediately considered terminating the call. As if sensing her panic, or maybe he just saw it plastered all over her face, Olaf continued. "Do you want to build a snowman? You'd be on your own, of course. But I could instruct you. I make the best snowmen." His grin widened.

It was all Elsa needed to break. Wet tears rolled down her face. She rubbed the ice away as they froze.

"I've done something terrible," She choked out. Her fingers trembled as she held the tablet tight but she didn't need to worry about hurting him.

"Tell me all about it," Olaf's voice was so soft and sincere. She let out a sob before blurting out everything to him. For the first time in forever she didn't care about her parents or hiding her powers. All she could think about was Anna and the terrible pain she had inflicted on her lover's heart.

* * *

Hans waved out a small group of armed men from the trees. Elsa didn't as much as move. Hans' end game had never been about breaking her heart and she knew it. The armed men in black armour surrounded her and held their weapons high.

"You know I expected more bite," Hans spoke as he circled Elsa. His hand brushed against her blonde braid. "You really loved her didn't you? Gods, I knew this would work but I didn't think it'd work so well."

Hans helped himself to one of the men's handguns. He held it down and pressed it to Elsa's forehead.

To any ordinary person the feel of steel against their skin would have felt cold but Elsa felt nothing but the pressure of it. Even then, she didn't so much as flinch.

"Don't you have anything to say? Aren't you afraid to die?"

The storm stilled. Snowflakes stood suspended in the air as if caught in a freeze-frame. Elsa looked directly at him with an unafraid acceptance in her empty eyes. Even if it wasn't by Anna's hand she was ready for judgement.

Hans shook his head with a mild chuckle as he withdrew the pistol and stepped back. "Restrain her." He commanded his team and all at once they knocked her out.

* * *

Anna skidded to a stop as the storm froze. She reached out and plucked a snowflake from the air. She examined the detail, amazed by how _real_ they were. _Elsa can really make this happen?_ Even though her eyes were seeing it her mind couldn't quite believe it. It was beyond impossible.

"Has this happened before?" She asked Olaf. A feeling of dread was threatening to overcome her. For the first time she could see just how tightly Elsa's emotions were tied to the storm. The wildness from earlier had faded. But what had replaced it? Something serene? Or something more sinister?

Olaf's reply cut through her like steel. "No. Elsa has never done this." The tone he used told her all she needed to know.

In silence the pair rushed through the park. Anna's heart and mind were racing. How could she have been foolish enough to leave Elsa behind? She gritted her teeth as she recalled her eyes: those empty royal blue eyes begging her for forgiveness. The regret made her stronger though and more determined as they raced through the snowdrifts. She glanced over at Olaf and she saw the same look of desperate concern mirrored on his features.

The pair paused again as the flurry of snow began to fall again. Its power was muted when compared to the initial fury.

"What does this mean?" Anna turned to Olaf, almost shaking him in agitation.

"She's maintaining some control," Olaf paused mid-step. "...Or she's asleep."

Anna didn't need him to explain. Her fears were realised as soon as they reached the site. Anna bent down at the spot Elsa had been kneeling. Her hand traced a line through the red splashes on the white snow.

"He hurt her," Anna's voice was cold and distant as she examined the blood stained snow on her fingertips. Olaf walked around the area in quick movements examining all the details in lightning precision.

"Hans had a team ready to capture her. There's no evidence of a struggle-"

"Her blood is all over the floor!" Anna protested as she gestured around her.

"There are footprints of at least five people and I don't see any icicle spears," His reply was curt and Anna looked down in shame. He was as stressed as she was. She needed to cool her head.

 _Can she actually make icicle spears? Why didn't she defend herself?_

Taking a deep breath, Anna continued. "She surrendered." She drew the same conclusion as him. "But that doesn't explain why Hans would have taken her. He works for a software company. What purpose could he have with her?"

Olaf didn't answer for a long time. The silence threatened to suffocate Anna but if it wasn't that the worry would get her instead.

"We need to regroup. Where ever Elsa is she's long gone." He was resigned but strong. "We will find her Anna. I promise."

Anna nodded. She glanced around in every direction but it was no use. Olaf was right, Elsa was gone.

She clenched her jaw, unable to get her thoughts in line as she paced around the area. Too much was happening too fast. She didn't even know where to start making sense of everything. The more she thought on it the more confused and frustrated she became. How had she been so blind to everything before today?

 _Elsa... Dammit Elsa what the hell are you mixed up in?_

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the short one but it just came to a natural end. Now Elsa's secret is out how will Hans abuse that power? How will Anna and Olaf save her? ;)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – You need to fight for her**

Numbly, Anna dragged her feet into Elsa's bedroom. Only a few days ago she had laid here beside her lover. There had been such hope and warmth. Now all Anna could see was pain, regret and coldness. Everything from the feel of the sheets to Elsa's scent was like a knife through her heart.

She couldn't stay here. Turning back to the door, she forced herself to stop. _Olaf brought you here because you damn well demanded it. Pull yourself together!_ She chastised herself. _Olaf took the couch. You can't make him take you somewhere else. You're stuck in Elsa's room for now. And where would you even run to instead? You have nothing else._ The truth behind it hit her hard.

She squeezed her eyes shut and punched the wall. She didn't care for the pain. It was nothing compared to the torrent of emotions drowning her.

Picking up her phone, she hastily dialled Kristoff's number. He picked up after only two rings.

 _"Anna? What's wrong?"_

She closed her eyes in pure elation at hearing a friendly voice. No complaints. Just concern.

 _"You're crying. Is it Elsa? Where are you?"_

"I'm..." She hesitated. She wasn't ok and she couldn't bring herself to lie. But she couldn't exactly tell him what had happened over the phone. Especially since Hans somehow had that clip of Elsa talking to Olaf. "Can you come over?"

 _"Grabbing the keys as we speak."_

Anna choked back a sob as she smiled. He really was a too good a friend to have.

 _"Where are you now?"_ Kristoff asked and in the distance Anna could hear the car engine. He really hadn't hung about, even if it'd take him hours to drive here.

"I'm at Elsa's."

 _"Is she with you?"_

"No."

 _"Is anyone with you?_ "

"Yeah. A friend, Olaf. He's sleeping on the couch. Don't worry."

 _"Anna. You're in tears and asking me to come visit. Right now. We both know I'm going to be worried,"_ He deadpanned.

Anna let out a noise which was a cross between a laugh and a whimper. "Sorry. I'll text you the address. I don't want to tell you over the phone but well... Things are pretty crazy. But I'll be ok until you get here," She promised. His sigh told her he was anything but convinced.

 _"Just call me back if it gets worse. I'll be there as soon as I can. Catch you later Feisty-Pants."_

The call disconnected. Anna sent over the address and leaned against the door. Dragging Kristoff into this mess was probably the most stupid thing she could have done. As if they needed more people to know about Elsa's powers but he was the only one she could talk to. Olaf didn't count. He wasn't objective enough. He had known more about Elsa's secrets for a far longer time. He'd had time to get his head around things. Kristoff would be able to tell her whether she was handling this right. How was one even supposed to handle finding out this sort of shit?

Anna bit her lip as she picked up the snow globe from the bedside table and shook it. The blizzard inside the small ornament felt much like the blizzard that was her life. Everything was being washed away in white and Anna had no power, money or bravery to do anything about it.

"Goddammit Elsa why didn't you just talk to me!?" The snow globe smashed against the wall. Anna wasn't even aware she was yelling until she heard Olaf's muffled call from the living room. "Yeah, I'm fine!" She called back, hoping the lie was enough to appease him. He knew as well as she did everything was the farthest from ok that was possible.

The more she thought on Elsa the more enraged she became. Back at the park she hadn't had the time to really think about it but now alone in her room, surrounded by Elsa's belongings, the smell of her perfume still triggering a heady sense of desire within her, she really could sit back and reflect on it all. Did she still love Elsa? She didn't think she'd ever stop loving her. But was she still furious and betrayed? Absolutely. Anna could accept both of those things. She swung like a pendulum between blaming Elsa and understanding her. The argument was on a loop: Elsa couldn't control it. She had a crazy and unbelievable magic. She should have damn well talked to Anna about it instead of running away and shutting everyone out.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks was a losing battle. More replaced them as water flooded her eyes in an endless stream.

She pulled her panda backpack onto the bed and emptied the contents that was her life. There wasn't much to show for 19 years: A few odd pieces of clothing, an old pair of headphones, her purse, her phone. She'd been borrowing Elsa's clothes since bunking here. In fact she'd been borrowing Elsa's _everything_ : hairbrush, towels, food, shoes. Anna slapped a hand to her head. _She didn't even complain once to you and you basically raided her whole wardrobe-no her whole apartment._

Anna's hand dug into the bottom of the bag and pulled out her photo frame. It was worse for the wear after all of the travelling it had endured but the picture inside remained intact.

"So Mum, Dad... What do you think?" Salty tears dripped onto the glass. Anna smudged them as she wiped it with her sleeve. "I lost you because Elsa-" her voice hitched. "-Elsa couldn't control her super powers. How can I still love her after that?" The words came out in shallow gasps.

Anna didn't need her parents to answer her to know what they'd say. Just seeing their faces again was enough. Memories of the camping trip filled her with both elation and devastation. They had both been so supportive of her pursuing Elsa, even encouraged it. They had listened to her with patience as she had rambled on about the blonde, about all of their adventures, about how well they got along, about how Anna didn't feel proper enough for her.

 _You're a good girl, Anna. She is the one who'd be lucky to have you. Don't ever forget that._ Her mother's words echoed.

"I know, Mum," She murmured, leaning back into the sheets of the bed. "But what am I supposed to do? I don't even know where she is? How will I find her to even speak to her? And even if I speak to her, how do we get past _this_?"

Back when Anna used to imagine a relationship with Elsa she knew things wouldn't be straightforward, but she could never have anticipated this. She had mentally prepped herself for everything; the talk with Elsa's parents, the support she'd need to give Elsa. What if they cut her off from her inheritance? Just her and Elsa against the world, Anna would have been there with her through everything. But she never believed Elsa would hurt her, and certainly not like this.

 _It's pretty simple. Do you love her?_

Anna looked up at the ceiling as she considered her father's words. Was it really that simple?

"Of course I love her," she whispered.

 _You need to fight for her. You can work out the details later._

Anna froze at that memory. She stiffly sat up. The whirlwind of emotions in her mind stood still as a sudden clarity washed over her. Her father had said those words when she had been ready to give up so long ago. And she was almost giving up now. Just like every other time something threatened to go wrong in her life, she sat back and let it happen, or relied on someone else to save her from it.

The fiery resolve that flowed through her was a new feeling. It didn't replace the pain or sorrow but it filled her with the motivation to do something about this mess.

"Fuck my complicated life. What else is there to lose?" Anna was on her feet and storming out of the bedroom before she even finished speaking. She marched straight up to Olaf and slammed the laptop lid down.

"Hans will be at work tomorrow. I'm going to talk to him." It wasn't up for discussion.

Olaf looked Anna over in concern. Slowly he scooted along the sofa so Anna had space to sit. Not that she took him up on his offer.

"It's too risky. He is dangerous-"

"He is careless," Anna argued, her resolve and confidence growing the more she thought through her impulsive and quite possibly insane plan.

"He manipulated you."

"So I'll let him think he can do it again. He wants to put on a show. He wouldn't have told me so dramatically in the park if he wasn't in it for the drama. I'm sure he could have lured Elsa anywhere and gotten away with her much sooner. If he thinks he has won he will tell me where she is."

Olaf didn't respond right away. His eyes were distant and lost in thought as he worked his way through the mechanics of her plan. She watched as he pieced everything together slowly and with care.

"Damn. That might actually work. I just wish it didn't have to be you. Elsa is going to kill me." He brushed back his black hair. Anna recognised the signs of worry. Just mentioning her name was taking its toll on them both.

"Right. Good." Anna nodded. She stood rigid. The fire of determination was there but now she had to wait. What in hells name would she do for the rest of the day?

"I'll keep researching Hans in the meantime. Get some rest," Olaf said gently.

Anna made an audible sigh before marching back into Elsa's bedroom. Once alone she pulled her phone up again. Talking to her foster mother was the last thing she wanted to do right now but there would be no avoiding it. She should have rung her the moment the shit hit the fan.

Anna looked down at Iduna's contact page on her phone. There was no doubt in Anna's mind that the woman would have seen the headlines about that sex tape. She'd be furious at her for leading Elsa astray. Just how much damage had it done to their family's shining reputation? Then again, Iduna had never told Anna about her daughter's magic ice powers so maybe this made them even.

 _"Anna,"_ she picked up immediately. Anna blinked, surprised it was even quicker than when she had called Kristoff. " _Is Elsa with you?"_

She made an audible sigh. It was no surprise that the woman was solely concerned about her real daughter, but Anna did wish for once she'd actually ask how she was. It only served to remind her she really was alone.

"I know," Anna said in a low tone, her fury and hurt oozing with each syllable.

A brief pause.

 _"You know...?"_ Iduna asked tentatively.

Screw it. Who really cared if there was a chance the call was bugged? Hans already knew and who knew who else he had told.

"The storm in the park. When my parents died," it took all of Anna's courage to say it aloud. She held onto the bedpost to keep herself steady. The silence that followed could have suffocated her.

 _"...Where is Elsa?"_ Iduna asked with more urgency.

Anna closed her eyes. _You think I wouldn't be with her if I knew?_

 _"We can talk about this face to face, Anna. But right now I need to know where my daughter is."_

"She was taken by Hans. I don't know what happened. I left her for 10 minutes and when I went back they were gone," Anna sighed.

 _"Hans? Westergard's son?"_ The alarm was clear as day.

"That's the one."

 _"...You should come home. We need to talk about this properly."_

"I'm handling things."

 _"You're handling things?"_ Iduna said sceptically. Anna could just feel her raising an eyebrow in judgement.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'll call you if I have anymore details-"

 _"Anna-"_

"Goodbye," Anna hung up and took a breath. When her phone rang again she cancelled the call. At the third call she turned her phone off completely.

Anna ran her fingers through her braids, letting her red hair fall loosely down her back as she laid back on the bed.

 _Was hiding everything what you wanted, Elsa? Or was it your parents?_

* * *

Anna was numbly aware she was dreaming. Thoughts of Elsa's fate haunted her. As she laid wrapped up in Elsa's sheets, inhaling the remnants of her perfume, she dreamt the woman was trapped in some sort of basement. It was cold, and while Anna now knew Elsa had an affinity for the cold she couldn't help but fear it was too cold, even for her.

Anna found herself walking forward into the darkness. There was no concern for her own safety as she powered onward.

The distant drip of leaking pipes rung through the silence. Through the flickering light she caught a glimpse of her love: empty eyes, matted hair and sickly pale skin. Anna's heart broke. She had never seen Elsa look so devoid of life.

"Elsa," Anna breathed but the woman looked right through her.

"Well done," a painfully familiar voice congratulated Anna, accompanied by a round of applause. "You found her."

Anna turned to come face to face with Hans.

"But can you forgive her?"

"I can!" Anna growled at him, quickly, desperately. She gritted her teeth as she faced those emerald eyes. The fond affection he once held for her was lost beneath twisted bitterness. Now Anna had seen it she couldn't erase it. How had she been so blind for so long?

"And do you think she can forgive herself?" He whispered ever so delicately in her ear.

Anna turned and came face to face with Elsa. There was no light in the blue eyes that gazed back at her.

Anna shivered from the chill. The punishment Elsa was inflicting upon herself would eclipse everything.

Anna reached out to touch her love. As she did her eyes shot open. She sat bolt upright arm outstretched, grasping thin air.

"Elsa," she whispered, pushing the covers off. The more she thought on everything the more she realised she just wanted her home and safe. Everything else could wait.

The knock on the door tore her from her morbid thoughts.

"There's a guy at the door asking for you," Olaf called in.

"Shit, Kristoff is here already," Anna murmured as she checked the digital display beside the bed. He had made good time.

Anna rushed to her feet and threw on one of Elsa's long and luxurious dressing gowns. She relaxed into the silk. Even being away from home for four years Elsa hadn't changed that much. She might have earnt her own money now but she still bought the nicest clothes.

Exiting the bedroom, Anna headed into the living room.

"Feisty-Pants," Kristoff already had Anna in a hug before he'd even finished speaking. And gods did Anna need it.

"Thank you so much for coming," she whispered to him.

That slither of comfort was enough for Anna to let go of her strength.

"Seen as you've got company, and we only have one couch, I'm going to head home," Olaf said, bag already in hand.

Anna snapped up in disbelief.

"You don't need to leave-"

"I do, Anna. I need some space," he replied, fingers tapping on his laptop in worry. "I'll see you tomorrow. And if you need me, just call. I'll be around."

It was selfish but Anna didn't want him to go. He had needed as much support as she had and she had gone and done an 'Elsa' again by locking herself in the bedroom. _How could I have been so stupid? Why do I keep being so stupid?_

Anna didn't stop Olaf as he headed out of the door.

"Your friend ok?" Kristoff asked in concern.

"No. No, he's not," Anna sighed as she filled two glasses of tap water. She placed them on the coffee table before plopping herself down on the couch. Kristoff took the armchair.

"I would offer you a real drink but Elsa doesn't drink and I haven't made a hidden stash yet," she sighed, wrapping herself up in the blankets.

"So... where is she? What did she do?" He asked curiously before sipping his water.

Anna didn't even know where to begin. Wherever she did decide to start her story though she resolved to tell Kristoff everything. It was probably reckless to trust someone else again so quickly after what Hans had done but looking into her friend's pale blue eyes she felt sure he wouldn't betray her too. She had to believe in their friendship. Hans wouldn't ruin this for her too.

* * *

Kristoff whistled as Anna finished explaining everything. And she really hadn't held back. As soon as she opened her mouth the words came tumbling out like a waterfall. Kristoff couldn't even get a word in. Anna made the poor boy relive not just everything that had happened since she arrived here, but also her time meeting Elsa through to the loss of her parents.

"So let me get this straight. Your girlfriend has magic?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You realise how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

"I know," Anna's head was in her hands.

"And you haven't been drinking? You haven't smoked anything-"

"Kristoff I am not drunk or high," Anna snapped.

"Ok, ok, I believe you. As insane as it is, I believe you." He held his hands up in defeat. "...Able to freeze a whole park in a heartbeat," he murmured in awe. "That's the stuff of science-fiction. What happened to her? Did she get lost in the arctic one day and get adopted by a reindeer?"

"I'm being serious," Anna groaned.

"So am I. The only people I know with powers like you're describing are superheroes. Peter Parker was bitten by a spider after all and look at what he can do."

"Elsa isn't Spiderman," Anna mumbled exasperated. "...She's totally Batman," she added more quietly, memories of the Batman t-shirt present flooding back to her. Gods, she had always considered Elsa her superhero and now she really was.

"Batman doesn't even have superpowers," he pointed out. "Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is Elsa didn't just get these powers out of thin air. I'm really curious to know how it happened," he shrugged.

"Can we save her first?" Anna slumped back into the sofa. "Once she's safe you can personally ask her all of the questions you want," she didn't even care anymore. Stressing over Elsa's safety was enough to give her a headache and drain her of everything. Once she was safe Kristoff could have a field day... right after Anna had rinsed the woman for all of her secrets. If Elsa had managed to hide something this big for their entire friendship just what else could she have hidden?

"Yeah. We'll save her first," he promised. "You look exhausted. Head to sleep. We'll blitz Hans in the morning," he promised.

"Thank you. And thanks for dropping everything to see me. I know you have your internship," Anna said gratefully. Dragging him away from his work, especially when it was such a competitive position only filled her with even more guilt.

"They'll be ok without me for a few days." He winked.

Anna wearily got to her feet and dragged herself into the bedroom. She really was so lucky to have such a good friend. Despite the shit with Hans she wouldn't let her friendship with anyone else be tainted, especially not with Kristoff.

* * *

The sound of a chair scraping across the floor alerted Elsa to her visitor. Not that it mattered. Just like all of the others before, she had no interest in talking to them.

Keeping her head steady, she faced forward into the darkness of her blindfold.

"I've been cross referencing all weather anomalies in the past 21 years against your presence. There is a remarkable correlation. Especially close to your home," the male voice explained.

Elsa listened but said nothing. The only sound in the room was of papers being rustled, the scribbles on clipboards and occasional footsteps.

It was like every other time before.

"Magic is simply science we don't yet understand. It looks incredible and unbelievable but there is a mechanism behind it. A mechanism which we need to learn. You understand the importance of that right?"

Silence.

"You can freeze quite a wide area. Imagine if that could be amplified? Imagine on a global scale, refreezing the polar ice caps. Or bringing snow to an area suffering from a drought? With the right amount of control the snow would melt and become water. These are just the obvious applications. There must be so many other ways to utilise a power like yours." A pause. "Your friend was admitted with no injuries from the lake."

 _Anna._

"What did you do to her? Tell us how you saved her."

 _I will never tell you anything._

"Show us your power."

Elsa did not even grace him with a response.

Their words meant nothing.

Their pain meant nothing.

A slap to the face stung. She spat blood but sat straight and unyielding.

"You're as goddamn stubborn as your mother," he said exasperated. The chair scraped. Footsteps paced.

 _Mother?_ Elsa wanted to ask but she couldn't show an interest. She wouldn't let them use that against her. She wouldn't let them use anything against her.

"I thought you said she couldn't control it," the man growled to another in the room.

"She couldn't," the reply was little more than a murmur.

"I want everything. Bloods, specimens, even her goddamn hair. Analyse it all. Do everything you can to make her give us a demonstration. Just make sure whatever drugs you use you write them down. I need to know the trigger."

Elsa's jaw clenched. How would she keep herself together if she was so full of drugs that she didn't even know who she was? The thought of having such a loss of control chilled her.

A sharp prick on her arm tore an involuntary yelp from her lips. She tensed and tried to pull away but her wrists didn't budge.

A hand took her roughly by the chin. "If you cooperated this wouldn't be necessary."

The words faded with all feeling. Elsa clung to the rational part of her mind as it slowly melted away like snow in summer.

 _Anna. Could these people isolate my power and use it to help the world? Is that how I repent? Should I ever have been free in the first place? Is this the future I deserve? ...Does any of this even matter if it's not a future with you?_

* * *

In her intense boredom and worry, Anna couldn't sleep. She got to work doing the only thing she could think of: cleaning up and disposing of the shattered snow globe. _I wish I hadn't broken that. She really cared about it._ The regret only added to the mountain of what she was already carrying.

As she opened the wardrobe in the hunt for something suitable to wear to her showdown with Hans tomorrow a sparkle of glitter caught her eye. Unable to hold herself back, Anna reached down and pulled out a wrapped parcel.

She flipped the tag over.

 _You're my Supergirl_

 _Merry Christmas_

 _Love Batman_

It took Anna all of about 10 seconds to compute the message before she ripped the present open.

Anna's heart stopped.

She held up a navy Supergirl t-shirt. Clinging to the shirt in despair, she choked out a sob. "I'm coming for you Elsa. Just hold on."

* * *

 **A/N: Don't worry Elsa. Your Supergirl is coming for you!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 - I can never be free**

Sleep hadn't come easily to Anna the previous night and when it had she was unable to fight the nightmares that haunted her. Despite everything Elsa had done Anna couldn't shake those empty eyes. _Even after all of this I'd give anything to have her back._

Anna gazed at herself in the full length mirror. A scrawny girl stared back; eyes puffy from all the tears she wept yesterday.

"God I look like a mess," She muttered aloud. A finger traced the freckles across her shoulder. Closing her eyes she imagined Elsa was there beside her. Touching her. Kissing her.

The alarm on her phone jolted her back to her cold reality. It was crunch time. Anna pulled the new Supergirl tee on and took a deep breath. Elsa always made being brave look so easy, even if she hadn't felt it _. It's my turn to be brave._

"Morning Feisty. You ready?" Kristoff asked as he glanced up, a bowl of cereal in hand as Anna headed into the living room.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Thanks for everything by the way. You drove all the way over here during your internship. I really shouldn't have asked this of you. You're like the best friend ever and you get a year's subscription to free doughnuts on campus courtesy of me. Maybe even two years," She slumped down onto the couch beside him.

"A generous offer." He cracked a smile. "Your girlfriend having magic isn't exactly the easiest topic to give advice on, but I'm here anytime you need me," he assured her warmly. "Don't worry. We'll find her," he paused, the smile still playing on his lips, "and when we do we'll have a doughnut date."

It was dorky enough to get a halfhearted laugh from Anna. She wanted so much to believe him, and she was usually the optimist but the sinking feeling in her gut was telling her otherwise. Her mind was on overdrive with everything. What if Hans had hurt Elsa? What if she had hurt herself? There were so many possibilities and picking apart each one was making her head hurt.

She glanced about the room. It looked so stark in the daylight. Elsa hardly had anything in here aside from the essentials. Was that because of her power too? Was that why she rushed into her bedroom the first night she came back? Was it why Elsa couldn't speak to her back at the manor that day she ran away? What even happened if she unleashed that sort of power inside? The more Anna analysed it the more questions she had.

 _She lived an almost normal life alone and you show up and within a few days this shit happens._ Anna closed her eyes. She didn't blame herself but she did blame the situation _. If she didn't care about you she wouldn't have suffered so much. I have to believe those walls she put up were because of her power… and not because of me._ Anna clung to the thought. Elsa had given her the best night of her life in the woods. And then again at the Westergard Winter Ball. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't feel _something_ , surely.

 _I swear when I get my hands on her I will have answers. Right after I hug her to death._

"Right, let's get going," Kristoff got to his feet, leaving his finished bowl of cereal on the table. Anna nodded. Her anxiety was crashing like waves within her but she held the storm inside. Even if she couldn't hide it like Elsa could, she'd damn well get her answers. Thinking about Hans and how she was going to wrangle his neck gave her all the focus she needed to follow Kristoff down to his car.

* * *

"You sure you want to do this alone?" Kristoff asked Anna as they stood outside the office block.

Anna squeezed his hand and took a breath. "I need to," she said with conviction. "If I'm not down in an hour…" She hesitated, not quite sure what Kristoff could possibly do if she somehow ended up Hans-napped too.

"Call the police?" He supplied.

"I'd rather you didn't. I don't know what the police would do if they found that clip of Elsa confessing to… everything. If you can't get a hold of me call Elsa's mum. I'll give you her number." Anna took his phone and started punching in the digits. "She'll know what to do."

"Alright. Anna-" Kristoff took her hand as she returned the phone. "-be careful." The sincerity in his eyes gave Anna the fight she needed. Both Kristoff and Olaf trusted her with this. She wasn't going to let them down.

Giving him a fist bump in farewell, Anna turned and headed into the office building.

Clutching her Snowflake Studios pass, Anna swiped it at the barriers. Hans wouldn't have cancelled it already, surely? After an impossibly long time the light flashed green and Anna took the breath she didn't even realise she was holding.

Stepping into the elevator, she punched the button for the highest floor and just hoped Hans' office would be up there somewhere.

Waiting in the moving lift gave her time to think about what she would say to the weasel, and reflect on her time spent with him. She had trusted him and ran to him every damn time Elsa pushed her away. How could she have been so naive? Had he targeted her right from the start? Or was she just unlucky to meet him that day she first arrived in the city. She had told him everything she knew about Elsa and her family without any hesitation. She had as good as poured her heart out to him. Her jaw clenched as the betrayal fired up a resolute conviction within her soul. She wouldn't let him get away with it.

The elevator doors dinged as they opened. Anna stepped out into the hall and immediately she knew she was in the right place. Corridors lead off in each direction but the doors opposite had the name 'Hans Westergard CEO' etched onto it.

A young receptionist blocked her path. "Excuse me, do you have an appointment with Mr Westergard-"

"No but I'm booking myself in. Right now," Anna growled as she stormed past the woman.

"Mr Westergard has a guest right now! You can't-"

Anna didn't listen. She didn't care. Slamming both doors open as she stormed into his office, Anna marched right in and across the room.

Hans glanced up, a look of surprise quickly changing to that carefree smile. _Ugh how did I ever fall for that!?_ Anna cringed.

"Miss Summers. I didn't realise you still had access to the building," Hans stood to greet her pleasantly. His guest also rose to his feet. "As you can see I'm in an important meeting with Dr Weselton-"

"Then you better cancel it because I'm not going anywhere," Anna slammed her hands down on the desk. Just seeing this man again fired her up something fierce. All of the anxiety from this morning had evaporated under her growing rage.

"Mr Westerga-"

"Get out!" Anna flung her finger round to the door.

The elderly man straightened as he bit back a remark. Even at his full height he was still a foot shorter than Anna, not that she could see past the red that had coloured her vision. If she didn't murder Hans today it'd be a miracle.

"Sorry, woman problems. You know how it is," Hans said by way of apology to his guest.

"I think you should find yourself a better girlfriend, Mr Westergard. One who doesn't interrupt business."

Anna was seething. She held it all in as patiently as she could manage as the older man turned to leave. Hans absently flicked a pen between his fingers as Dr Weselton's footsteps grew more distant _. There is nothing in those eyes. No remorse. Nothing._ Anna was ready to burst. The door clicked shut.

"I am not your girlfriend and I never was!" She practically yelled the moment he was gone.

"Oh please. In another story where you never found out about Elsa you and I would have happened. You were so desperate for someone to love you, you didn't even care if it was her or not," Hans rolled his eyes, dropping the cheery persona.

Anna marched around his desk until she was just inches away from him. She gazed into those emerald eyes for a long moment, wondering how she could ever have felt anything towards him.

She slapped him. And did it again for good measure. She had to use every muscle in her body to stop herself from doing anything more. If she went on a frenzy now he'd call security and remove her. Hell, he'd probably have her arrested. _Could I kill him before they made it up here?_ The thought was tempting, but then she'd never find out where Elsa was.

"Are you quite done?" He rubbed his face and flexed his jaw.

"Where is _she_?" Anna demanded in a low tone. Hans' face changed from one of bewilderment to surprise.

"You still love her," he shook his head. Was that pity in his voice? Anna had to stop herself from slapping him a third time. "Even after finding out she killed your parents? Geez Anna, I knew you were naive but this takes the cake."

Hans took a seat on his large office chair and sat back, looking up at Anna with an unreadable expression.

"I'm going to say this once, and it's because I really didn't want to drag you into this mess," He began, taking on a more serious tone. "It was supposed to be just Elsa but she was a tough nut to crack and you made it really easy for _us_." The use of _us_ didn't escape Anna's attention as she listened. "Leave this all behind. Go back to your university course, get your degree and enjoy your life. You're a nice girl. One day you'll meet someone good. Someone who'll treat you properly, not like me or Elsa. "

"Just what have you done to her?" Anna growled, not giving up.

Hans let out an audible sigh. "You shouldn't go poking your nose into things that don't concern you. I'm telling you this for your own good, Anna. If you get involved you'll going to end up hurt. What do you possibly have to fight with? You have no money, no influence, no magic ice powers. How will you keep her safe from the world? You know if news of her ice magic gets out to the public she'll be hunted down like a witch-"

"Is she safe where she is!?" Her hands were on the armrests to his chair as she leaned down to him, her face inches from his. To his credit he didn't flinch but he did take a minute to consider his reply.

"Someone with a _mutation_ like hers will never be safe. She doesn't have a future and neither will you if you pursue her." Anna saw what she believed was truth in his eyes. Not that her judgement was ever on point.

"Just tell me where," She pressed, desperation replacing the raging fire.

"Weselton is trying to isolate her power," Hans sighed and Anna had to pull back in fear of tumbling onto his lap. Disbelief made way to fear.

"Isolate her power?" She breathed. Her mind raced with vivid images of Elsa and what was no doubt being inflicted upon her as they spoke.

"You're studying biology. You must understand the importance of learning the mechanisms of how her power works," Hans said as if that explained everything. As if that made it acceptable. Anna clenched her fists. As much as she thought Elsa's superpowers were insane, she was still a person beneath it all. No one deserved what Hans was implying.

"That stunt you pulled in the park…"

"The video confession wasn't enough. We needed to see her power in action before made a move. Involving you was regrettable but Elsa kept herself together remarkably well when you weren't around. Plus it coincided very nicely with her father's passing-"

"Fuck you and fuck your mentor or whatever he is to you," she was barely holding back her tears. Elsa may as well been trapped in a high security prison. Even if Hans had told her the exact building they had her in she'd never be able to break into one of Weselton's high end laboratories.

She didn't know why she expected this to be easy. Of course Hans wouldn't have Elsa in some abandoned house at the edge of town with no security. Of course he wouldn't tell her the exact location.

"You're in over your head, Anna. Forget about her and forget about all of this. Go home."

Anna looked Hans over. He almost looked concerned for her. She wouldn't let herself believe it though. She may not have had as much information as she thought she might have gotten, but she wasn't in any frame of mind to continue arguing. If she kept this up she'd be in an ugly mess of tears and then she wouldn't even be able to get her words out, let alone press him for Elsa's location.

Anna abruptly turned and stormed out of his office. Once in the elevator she stabbed the ground floor button repeatedly until she was alone.

 _Elsa. Hold on Elsa. I'll find a way to get you out. And if I can't your mum must be able to do something. She could buy someone out, or blackmail them, or just send a private SWAT team in to get you. Rich people can do that, right?_

The doors opened and closed as employees shuffled in and out. Anna shrunk into the corner as she struggled to keep a hold on her fragile emotions.

Once outside in the sharp winter air Kristoff embraced her. Anna held onto him, unsure if she was shaking from adrenaline or the cold.

"Did he hurt you?" He spoke into her fiery hair as he held her close. Anna shook her head into his shoulder. She felt the tension leave his body as he gently patted her back.

"You're ok now. Did he tell you where she was?"

Leaning back, Anna both nodded and then shook her head as tried to get her thoughts straight. "Weselton is trying to work out how her magic works," she sniffed. "They're doing bad things to her, Kristoff," she was shaking again but this time she knew it was in anger.

There was no reply. "Did you even hear me?" Her tears blurred her vision. "Kristoff?" She wiped her eyes and was met by a gobsmacked expression.

"Weselton? As in Weselton Pharmaceuticals?"

"Yes."

"…I think I know where she is."

* * *

Anna's tears dried up as a new hope filled her. Sat in the quiet corner of a coffee shop, the three of them hunched over their hot beverages and spoke in hushed whispers like it was some sort of top secret meeting. Which wasn't entirely untrue.

Anna recounted the highlights from her conversation with Hans. As Kristoff was about to chime in with the punch line Anna beat him to it.

"Kristoff is working as an intern for Weselton. He can get us in there."

Olaf's finger played with the wooden stirrer as he considered what he was being told. His lack of an immediate reaction was killing Anna.

"…I'm impressed," he finally said as he pulled his laptop from his bag. "I've done quite a lot of digging on Hans too. His link to Weselton came up and I followed it. What I found out last night backs up what Hans has told you."

"Just what did you find?" Kristoff asked, eyes narrowed.

"A group of men kidnapping a woman in a public park is hardly inconspicuous no matter how much they kept the area clear. I started digging there. I checked out the traffic cameras around the area and I think I found a vehicle which they could have gotten away in. The registration plate was a dud but I tracked the van to a warehouse owned by Arendelle Corporation. Assuming Elsa's parents are completely innocent in all of this-"

"They must be," Anna interrupted in disbelief that Olaf could even suggest that. Anna hadn't gotten on well with her foster parents but she could never believe they'd be capable of such deceit. _Then again you couldn't see Hans coming a mile away._

"Hey, I haven't met them, at least not in person," he held his hands up in surrender. "All I'm saying is things are pretty tightly connected. The Westergards have a big share in the business too. Anyway, that wasn't the best bit. I had no video feed of a van leaving but I did catch a man leave. Erik Francis," Olaf turned his laptop to face the pair. "He works for Weselton."

Anna was impressed. Olaf had really gone all out. When the boy had said he was heading home she figured he just wanted space to get his head around everything alone but he had been working twice as hard as Anna, if not more. It didn't make her feel guilty though. If anything it made her surer that what they were working towards was the right thing. They were a team and they'd save Elsa.

"Wait," the penny dropped for Anna. "Did you have to run some funky face capture software to find that out?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"No," Olaf cracked a smile. "He has visited Hans at work a few times. I did a lot more digging into him and he is mainly based at this facility." Olaf brought up a map and pointed out the building. "It's hardly concrete, but it can't be a coincidence either."

Kristoff nodded in understanding. "I guess between the three of us we have it nailed then. That's where I'm working," He confirmed. "There have been some rumblings about top secret experiments and human trials but I don't hear much. They even made me sign an NDA when I started just in case I did. I bet you anything your girl is in there."

Anna's pulse raced as she gazed at the map. They'd found where Elsa was and between them they could really do this.

 _I'm coming Elsa. Just wait for me._

* * *

Hans stood at his wall to wall office window and looked down to the street below. He caught a glimpse of red hair. At this height it was impossible to know for sure if it was Anna, but even so he couldn't help but follow her as she crossed the street with another figure.

He didn't move at the sound of a knock on his door.

"Mr Westergard," his secretary addressed him as she peeped around the corner of the door gingerly.

Hans rolled his eyes exasperated. "How many times do I have to tell you, Mr Westergard is my father."

"Sorry... Mr Westergard."

Hans groaned inwardly. _I swear I need to fire you._

"Dr Weselton, is still here to see you," the woman opened the door wide for the short man to enter.

 _You're supposed to wait until I tell you to let him in. I really, really need to fire you._ Hans held the bridge of his nose in irritation.

He briefly glanced around before turning back to the window. Explaining this mess to Weselton was the last thing he wanted. Anna would be trouble, of that he was certain. He needed more time to work out what to do about her.

"Is the business with your girlfriend concluded?" Weselton asked as he strutted across the office like some ridiculous deer in heat. Or maybe a peacock? Hans shook his head; he didn't have time to linger on it . The problem of what the hell to do with Anna was too big and too pressing.

"Tell me, how secure is the facility where you're holding _her_?" Hans evaded the question with his own.

Weselton helped himself to a seat. "Security lacks a bit here and there in some of the buildings but I can assure you that facility is more than covered," he assured him, hooking one leg over the other. "Why?"

Hans turned to meet his narrow eyed gaze. He considered not telling the man about their potential problem. Hell, there was no potential about it. Anna was going to cause them more than just a little bit of trouble. Hans could envision it already; if talking her way into the building didn't work the fiery woman would no doubt be staging a very public protest at the gates. It would be all of the attention they wanted to avoid.

"...We may have a problem," Hans said slowly, staying on his feet.

"A problem?" Weselton demanded, his eyebrow hitting the roof.

"The girl who interrupted us... she isn't my girlfriend," he sighed. "She's _her_ girlfriend."

Hans didn't believe Weselton's eyebrows could rise any higher, yet somehow they did.

"Girls having girlfriends?" His voice was laced with disapproval. "What is the world coming to? These young liberals corrupting and destroying tradition-"

"Right, right, young people burning the world, got it. We have bigger problems," he interrupted his mentor before he got too carried away. "That girl isn't going to rest until she's got her girlfriend back. We need to be careful."

"What of her family?" Weselton asked. Hans could see the calculating look in his eyes. If only taking care of Anna would be that easy.

"She was fostered by the Arendelles," Hans replied deadly serious. "If she doesn't cause us trouble then Iduna will."

"And you didn't think to mention this sooner?" Weselton hissed as he leaned right over Hans' desk. He was mildly impressed a man of his height could make so much distance. "We should have moved sooner!"

"If we had moved sooner Agnarr would have been a bigger problem. No, we couldn't have risked that," Hans shook his head, absently knowing his father would have been equally as much trouble. Agnarr would have involved him for sure.

"If you think Iduna will be any less difficult you are sorely mistaken," Weselton grumbled. "I know her, Hans. Those two were made for each other," he muttered as he sat back again and tapped his fingers anxiously. "You realise Arendelle Corp could cut off their contract with me. If they stop supplying me with their equipment it could ruin me."

"I know, and I assured you my father wouldn't let that happen. It's a big contract. Too big to be broken," Hans assured him. That was the least of their worries but he couldn't tell the money obsessed old man that. If Elsa managed to get out and press charges they'd be in a lot more trouble than dealing with a ruined company.

They had both known from the start it was a risk. When Hans had pitched the venture to his mentor he had stressed the dangers almost as much as the rewards but he also knew as soon as Weselton heard about the potential applications for a power like Elsa's he'd be in. Real life magic didn't just happen every day after all.

Hans hummed as he considered their options.

"I am assuming by the visit that girl knows you are involved with the kidnap. Does she know about my involvement?"

Hans hesitated. Damn, Anna would tell Iduna everything, and no doubt Weselton had just reached that conclusion too.

"She knows," he confirmed.

Weselton flung his hand down on the desk. "How could you have been so foolish!?"

"I'll handle it." _I don't know how but..._ "I'll handle it," he repeated.

"You better had," Weselton grumbled.

Hans took a few minutes to think. He needed more time. No matter what outcomes he could imagine up in his mind everything ended with two things: Anna taking it public or Iduna using all of the money in the world to ruin them. He knew Weselton was considering having Anna 'bumped off' but murder was a line he wasn't ready to cross, at least not yet. Not only that but she hadn't been alone outside and there was a very real possibility that she had already told Iduna everything she knew.

 _Why did I tell her?_ He regretted giving away so much earlier, not that he thought she would have taken long to work it out. He'd as good as told her he used to work for Weselton. The connection was obvious. What he was most disappointed about however was letting his emotions influence his decision making. He had a soft spot for Anna and he had allowed that to cloud his judgement. He gave her a chance to walk away freely from all of this, something he knew he shouldn't have let happen. That would have only left them to deal with Iduna and she at the very least would have been predictable. _If only the damn girl had listened._

 _Fuck. I have one girl with no fire and the other with too much._ He clenched his fists in frustration. He'd had reports of Elsa's lack of cooperation. It was another issue he needed to address, and soon.

He paced around his office for a good minute longer as Weselton tapped at the nodding dog ornament on his desk. If this situation didn't drive him crazy he was certain the old man would.

"I have an idea..." he finally said after a moment. It wasn't so much an idea, more of a last resort. "But you'll need to trust me. Iduna's hands will be tied so long as this doesn't go public."

"I'm listening," Weselton leaned forward.

Hans took his seat at his desk and relayed his plan; certain he could outmanoeuvre both Anna and Iduna.

* * *

Even by Elsa's standards the room was cold. She didn't know how long she had been left in the industrial refrigerator but it had been a long time. She knew their game. They wanted to know how long she'd survive in here but she wasn't exactly sure how they'd do that without killing her. Were they monitoring her body temperature somehow? Infrared cameras maybe? It was no use. She had no blindfold on anymore but the lights were out so it made little difference.

Elsa was unfamiliar with the sensation of shivering. The only time she'd even come close to the experience was when she found herself shaking during a breakdown. So as she sat, still tied to a chair, shivering, she knew she was reaching her limit.

 _Is this what normal people feel every time they step out into a winter day? Is this what Anna feels?_

Teeth chattered. Goose bumps lined her arms. If they didn't drag her out soon she was certain she really would die.

The door scraped open. The lights flicked on leaving her blinded. As if reading her mind, two men in white lab coats walked over to take notes.

"Her core temperature is so low," one remarked.

"It's crazy she's even alive, let alone awake."

Elsa had grown used to them talking about her like she wasn't there. She wouldn't speak or acknowledge them so why should they offer her the same courtesy?

Released from the restraints, she had no strength to stand. Half carried, half dragged from the refrigerator, they dropped her onto the single bed in her 'room'. It reminded her of what she imagined to be an inmate's accommodation at a police station or prison. The four walls were too close, as if they might fall in and crush her at any moment.

"Was it one shot or two?"

As Elsa slumped back on the bed she wondered for the hundredth time whether she should be fighting this. Not that she had the energy to this time round. That cold room had sapped her of everything, which was ironic considering the cold had always been the source of too much power.

Whatever crazy research facility she had ended up in, they were smart too. They kept her drugged between tests which kept her sluggish. It was hard to keep her mind sharp enough to think properly. It wasn't entirely unwelcome though. Those moments at the height of her injections she felt free for the first time since she was a child. It did have the side effect of her not remembering who she was either, but she couldn't have everything.

She felt the injection and closed her eyes, welcoming the calm.

 _Anna, you'd tell me to fight. But what would I fight for if not for you?_

 _I can never erase what I've done._

 _I can never do enough to be forgiven._

 _I can never be free._

* * *

 **A/N: When I saw Frozen on Broadway again this time around I noticed at the end when Hans is about to kill Elsa she glances around at him, realises what he intends and accepts it. I like to think in that moment she believes she is a monster and there is no future or redemption for her. I am channelling all of that pain ;)**

 **I wasn't originally intending to give Hans a POV as I didn't want to overcomplicate things, but here we are. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I can't keep rereading it. Maybe I'll be back to tweak it later.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 - You can't live like this**

The way Elsa dealt with her _incidents_ wasn't healthy. She hadn't needed a therapist to tell that. After talking to the stranger for the past hour she had become nothing but frustrated with how the woman seemed to know her life better than she did. She had spent 17 years on this planet and even she couldn't understand herself. How could someone know everything in the space of 60 minutes? ...Except she didn't quite know _everything_. Her parents had made the woman sign an NDA but even so Elsa couldn't trust her enough to reveal her biggest secret. So she continued to do what she always did; hideaway in her room until the storms passed.

The only flaw with this tactic was that Anna triggered a breakdown almost every time they were together. Living with her best friend had been straining. Anna was grieving for the recent loss of her parents and Elsa couldn't give her the support she so desperately needed. Weighed down by the guilt, she couldn't do anything but hide. The strain they were putting on one other was impossibly hard for them both, even if Anna couldn't understand why.

So when Anna had as good as kicked the door in to Elsa's bedroom one afternoon, Elsa completely understood why she was furious.

"Why won't you talk to me!?" Anna couldn't hold back her yelling. Elsa was painfully aware she had been bottling everything up and acting like nothing was wrong, just like Elsa had been attempting to do since the girl had moved in. Whether it was to show appreciation to her parents for saving her from the care system or whether it was for Elsa's own sake she did not know. All she knew was her friend was falling part before her eyes and Elsa wasn't strong enough to stop it. And now the girl had finally let her anger loose Elsa couldn't even take that.

 _I'm useless._

"Dammit Elsa just say something! I'm sick of you ignoring me! I know you needed space and I've tried to give it to you... I really have." Anna fixed her eyes directly on Elsa's and she felt every tendril of anger. "But shutting me out isn't fair! They were _my_ parents!" Anna's voice cracked and Elsa felt her heart break. Her pulse raced as fleeting images of that day flickered past her eyelids. She stumbled back, hands scrambling for something to lean on, something to cling to. She found nothing.

"A-Anna please-" Her voice was barely a whisper. She held onto the wall for support. She couldn't break down in front of Anna but her body was crumbling beneath the haze of panic.

"Please what?" Anna demanded, almost pinning Elsa to the wall. "Help me understand, Elsa. We were the closest we had ever been a few weeks ago. Then this happens and you can't even look at me. I let you have your space but you're not giving me anything back! I'm the one who deserves to be upset! I shouldn't have to step on eggshells around you! You should be supporting _me_ through this!"

Elsa couldn't breathe. Her eyes flashed as spots of darkness threatened to cause a blackout. She willed it to take her. Anything to escape this intense feeling of dread that had gripped her soul. Even in her damaged state, Elsa knew she had to get away from Anna. _If I hurt her now..._ The fear and panic were all consuming and it was taking all of her self control and focus to hold back the storm. With laboured steps Elsa moved, holding onto the chest of drawers to keep herself upright.  
"You're going to run away again? That's your answer?"

Anna was still angry, perhaps even more so than before but Elsa barely registered it. Her mind was on nothing but holding back her breakdown.

"Anna, leave immediately."

Both girls snapped up to see Agnarr and Iduna, faces alight with concern. _Father..._ Elsa had never felt so relieved to see him. He'd save Anna from this. Once they were gone Elsa could finally let go and allow the storm to take her.

Anna hesitated, wanting to argue but seemed to think better of it before stomping away. A series of sobs echoed alongside footsteps and Elsa added another fracture to her already shattered heart.

"I'll go to her," Iduna said quietly, giving her husband's arm a reassuring squeeze. He nodded in understanding.

Iduna closed the door as she left, leaving father and daughter alone in the bedroom.

"Let it out," he said as he reached out to Elsa. The girl visibly recoiled. She looked at her father with wild eyes. "No! I don't want to hurt you!"

Just what was her father thinking staying here?

"You won't. I'm not afraid." Tone gentler this time. Elsa did her best to put some distance between them but Agnarr took two quick strides forward and embraced his daughter. The comfort was completely unexpected. After years of hiding away and failing to control her power she had watched as her parents all but gave up on facing this with her. They kept their emotions hidden and guarded and she had learnt to do the same. For so long Elsa had faced these storms alone.

And now that small slither of comfort was all she needed to break. Tears froze against her cheeks as the blizzard claimed the room. The wind was so strong the snow didn't even settle. In the whiteout it was impossible to witness the devastation being caused. Elsa didn't care though. She leaned into her father's embrace in exhaustion. The panic and fear were subsiding and after a long few minutes the storm muted into a gentle flurry.

"How are you feeling?"

Elsa didn't know how to reply. It was all so foreign to her. Her father had never been so... involved in his daughter's breakdowns. It wasn't just her parents fault though; Elsa had pushed everyone away too. _Maybe I just had more power to fight back in the past. Or maybe he can see you falling faster and harder than ever before._

"I think... I think I'm dying." It was the only accurate way Elsa could describe it. Watching Anna descend into such a deep sorrow had not only dragged Elsa in too but she'd been responsible. _I killed two people._ The guilt was eating away at her soul.

Agnarr squeezed his daughter tighter. Pulled away from her morbid thoughts she realised her father was soaking wet and shivering. _Gods, what have I done?_ Elsa had never seen her father so animated. More regret. More guilt. It was endless.

"You can't live like this. You've had sixteen panic attacks in a week."

 _You've been watching me that closely?_

"Something has to change and it has to be now." The resolve in her father's eyes was more desperation than conviction but Elsa understood all the same. She could already imagine what his plan would be. He'd send Anna away. Her parents would focus solely on their daughter. Except Elsa couldn't allow that. The thought of being trapped in this manor with therapists and doctors frightened her almost as much as unleashing another storm on the world. Anna needed the stability and safety her parent's could offer. Elsa didn't.

 _Something has to change._ Elsa agreed. Hearing her father say it made her realise just how true it was.

"I know you care about Anna and I know you just want to do the best for her but I need to do what is best for you." As predicted, Agnarr was going exactly where Elsa knew he would go. "Letting her live so close to you is affecting you Elsa, you cannot deny it."

"I know." Elsa murmured numbly as she rested her head in the nook of her father's neck. She breathed in deeply, inhaling too much cologne. The smell was nostalgic though. She clung to the moment; enjoying pretending to be normal if only for a second. In her mind she imagined this could be a father comforting their daughter over anything else; a boy-or girl. She almost laughed at the irony. It was about a girl. _I bet most girlfriends don't use their magic powers to kill their lover's parents though._ The bitterness and shame crashed through her again and she was left with an even stronger resolve to do what she was about to do.

"Father?" Elsa murmured into his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"You know I love you, right?" The words seemed to catch her father off guard. He squeezed his daughter tighter to him as if she was about to fade away. Elsa had been cursed with a lot of powers but mindreading wasn't one of them. Even so, she sensed her father knew how this would end.

"I know. I love you too, more than you could ever believe." Hearing those words felt sweeter than anything. For a moment Elsa was filled with a quiet calm. It was what she had longed to hear for so long. "We will get through this. I promise. You won't be alone. You will never be alone," Agnarr promised, planting a kiss on Elsa's forehead to prove his sincerity. "Things won't be the same."

Elsa smiled. A part of her wanted to give in to her father and believe in this new change. But it was too little too late. Her mind was made up.

They only spent a few minutes more in each other's arms before the cold had become too much. Elsa pulled away first, her father's shivering becoming too much for her to bear. She looked around the room for the first time. How neither of them was injured in this chaos astounded her.

 _Maybe on a subconscious level I can control this._

"How does it compare to usual?"

Elsa glanced around at the question. She supposed it was a fair thing to ask. It actually felt nice to be able to talk about it without it feeling like some dirty secret. Rising to her feet, Elsa let out a sigh.

"I don't think a storm has ever faded so quickly... But I've also never taken chunks out of the walls like this before." Fingers flew across the scarred walls until she reached the window. It had shattered under the impact. Elsa leaned out. A gasp escaped her lips as she saw snow outside. It hadn't just settled. It was actively snowing for as far as she could see.

"Its summer," she breathed. "And I've made it snow outside. _Again_." She smacked one hand to her head. _How can I escape this when I'm so volatile? One slip up and I could freeze the world._

"Do not worry," Agnarr said full of the controlled calm Elsa was accustomed to. "A weather anomaly is something your mother and I _can_ fix. You'll move to a new room until we can refurbish this one. It doesn't matter how many rooms we redecorate or how many skewed reports reach the media, we will keep you safe for as long as it takes."

 _It's almost funny_ , Elsa thought as she turned to face her father. There was no disappointment in those eyes this time. Only desperation. _It only took him until he realised he was about to lose you to actually start trying._ The thought was bitter and probably unfair but Elsa couldn't change how she felt. She gave her father a nod in thanks, certain it would be her last.

* * *

Anna threw her clothes furiously into her panda backpack. Elsa's denial was the icing on the cake that was her life. _This time last month things were perfect_. Her parents were with her and Elsa was normal. And then the accident happened.

Tears rolled down her freckled cheeks. Breath hitched as everything came out. It wasn't fair. Her parents were good people. Good people didn't die saving other people. Why was the world so fucked up?

After being told by the police what had happened in park she'd broken down in her hospital bed. She'd left Elsa close to a hundred voice mails but there was no answer. At first she had believed the girl had been injured in the accident too. Her mind and heart had gone into overdrive with worry. It was only when the Arendelles showed up with social services to arrange fostering her had Anna realised the position she was in. No parents. No family. The social worker had asked her if this was what she wanted but there was no choice to be made. By all accounts Elsa's parents were saving her from spending the next few years stuck in the care system. Living with Elsa had been an appealing thought though. But she still hadn't actually seen her friend since the accident. She wished they could have talked about it. Moving in with your maybe-girlfriend's family wasn't something as simple as signing paperwork.

The first time she saw those blue eyes again was after the Arendelles brought her to their manor. Elsa had been standing in the hall looking more tired than Anna had ever seen her. She was suffering too, that much had been clear. Elsa had turned and ran before they could speak. The two barely exchanged words for the next week. There was no contact, no hugs, no kisses, no support.

"She is so selfish!" Anna scrunched her eyes shut, needing to yell. "I needed her so much. However much she is hurting it has nothing on me!" She punched the wall. Immediate regret as pain coursed through her whole arm. She did it a second time for good measure.

"Anna?"

Anna froze, half packed bag in one hand, the other still planted into the wall as she looked up at Iduna standing in the doorway.

"Anna, what are you doing?" Iduna asked patiently.

"I'm doing what it looks like," She replied more sharply than intended. It wasn't the Arendelles fault but she was ready to explode and if Elsa wouldn't take it her mother would have to suffice. She was about to walk out of them anyway. Who really cared if she threw all of their generosity back in their face as she did?

"Put the bag down."

"I'm not your daughter. I'm not going to do whatever you damn well say," Anna purposely continued to throw things into the bag for the hell of it. She didn't even know what she was packing anymore. "Where will you go?" Iduna remained by the door, arms folded.

"Anywhere away from here! Anywhere away from Elsa!" She hiccupped through the tears. She was full on ugly crying now but she embraced it and stormed onward. "She is so selfish and clueless! They were _my_ parents! I tried so hard to fit in, to be grateful but I don't even care anymore! I didn't just lose them; I lost my best friend too. I lost my..." Her voice cracked and she ran out of steam. As much as she wanted to yell about her night with Elsa she didn't believe her heart could take it. "I lost everything! No one deserves that." _No one deserves to lose their family and have their heart broken at the same time._

"I'm going. Being here isn't helping Elsa or me." Anna shoved past Iduna on her way into the hall.

To her credit, Iduna didn't lose her cool. She took all of the girl's anger in her stride.

"Elsa was the one who convinced us to foster you."

The words caused Anna to halt halfway down the hall. She whipped around in utter disbelief.

"What?" She asked dumbfounded. Iduna's serious expression confirmed she hadn't dreamt it. " _Why?_ "

"Because she knew you had nowhere else to go. Anna, this isn't easy for me to explain because there is so much more going on than you could ever realise, but Elsa... Elsa isn't well." Anna sensed that wasn't quite the truth but she couldn't put her finger on why. "She hasn't been for a long time. It's why we've always been so strict with keeping her close. If she goes off the rails out in the world..." She let the sentence hang for a moment. "When she's with you she is free in a way I've never seen before. It's been wonderful to watch. But these last two weeks have also been the worst I've ever seen her. She's had countless panic attacks and breakdowns."

Anna's anger dissipated. She had seen Elsa suffering but she had ignored it believing her own suffering had somehow been worth more. How could she have even been comparing the two? Who was she to judge whether Elsa was allowed to be hurting too? _I've been such a fool._ Anna berated herself. And Iduna had told her all of this so patiently and understandingly after she had just exploded in her face.

"It's not your fault," Iduna spoke the words as if knowing exactly what Anna would be feeling.

 _Dammit, it's entirely my fault. I'm so ungrateful._ The bag dropped to the floor and Anna slumped to her knees defeated. What in the hell was she supposed to do now? How could she stay? How could she leave?

"Mrs Arendelle!" A voice called up the hallway. Iduna was racing past Anna before she even knew what was happening. Something in way the woman ran made Anna's heart sink. She scrambled to her feet and chased after her.

"She's taken her keys." Anna barely overheard Kai telling Iduna as the redhead half ran, half tumbled down the grand staircase.

Before Anna had time to catch her breath Iduna was already out the front door. Anna followed and almost collided with Agnarr as she skidded out after her.

The screech of tyres against stone tore through the air, followed closely by the harsh rev of an engine. Elsa's ice blue BMW was down the drive before the two women could even blink.

Snow fell heavy in the sky as Elsa disappeared from view.

"Let her go," Agnarr said wearily, arms folded and gazing into the snowy landscape.

"What?" Iduna demanded in disbelief. "What did you say to her?" Her tone was accusatory. "You know what will happen if she slips up! She isn't safe out there!"

"It's her choice to make," he said in resignation.

Anna took a few steps forward onto the drive as she zoned out of Iduna and Agnarr arguing. Regret filled her heart. She had done this. She had pushed her friend too far. She clenched her fists as she relived just how harsh she had been earlier. Why hadn't she seen the fear in Elsa's eyes as clearly as she could see it now? She'd do anything to embrace her and chase away all of that pain.

 _What have I done?_ "I'm so sorry."

Iduna and Agnarr looked up; seeming to have just remembered Anna was still present.

"...It's not your fault." The hesitation in Iduna's response said more than her words. "Things were complicated before you were even in the picture. The failing is mine and my husband's." There was something in the way she said husband that made Anna wince.

Iduna turned to go inside but Anna remained on the driveway.

"I'm going to stay out here a while longer. Don't worry, I can't escape. I don't have a car and I'm pretty sure walking your driveway on its own would take me hours," Anna tried to instil some confidence in her new family but her weak smile was faltering.

"Make sure you are in before nightfall. And if you get cold help yourself to a coat. Kai will find you whatever you need."

Anna nodded, still unused to this way of life. She watched as the pair fled inside and was pleased when the door closed. She was sure Elsa's parents needed as much space as Anna did.

The silence was welcome and for the first time this evening she leaned her head back and gazed up at the summer snow.

 _Elsa._

Despite telling her new foster parents that she wasn't going to go running down the driveway Anna did exactly that. She moved as fast as her legs would carry her. Maybe she'd catch up to the blonde if she could just move quickly enough. Snow crunched beneath her feet as she pressed onwards. Every muscle in her body burned with the exertion. Only when she reached the gates did she realise how futile it was. Elsa hadn't stopped. Anna collapsed by the entrance to the estate, lungs burning and body aching. It was a welcome feeling when compared to the pain in her heart.

Anna extended a hand to catch a snowflake. "Come back to me Elsa." She clenched the snowflake tight, tears falling from her cheeks. "Please come back."

* * *

Hans watched Elsa through the mirrored glass with a frown. He traced the outline of her thin frame sat in a chair. Either she wasn't eating or they weren't feeding her. He could have face-palmed at how lax this operation was. Why could no one else see the long game?

 _All you had to do was keep her alive, healthy and contained. She should be trying to rip this place apart._ Hans gritted his teeth in annoyance.

Sipping his coffee, he leaned back on the desk and considered his options. He had pushed her too far, that much was clear. He had tried to get to know her better during their partnership but she had been resistant to everyone other than Olaf, and that boy was just as defensive when it came down to her. He was paying for that failing now. She was far more fragile than he realised and breaking her heart had gone too far for her and not far enough for Anna.

 _Goddammit!_ He slammed the cup down in frustration. Perhaps Anna showing up would work to his advantage in the end. He needed to work out just how to play that.

The scrape of a door opening drew his attention. Weselton waltzed in and Hans rose to meet him.

"Have we got anything?" Hans asked in hope.

"There are some variations in her blood levels but it's difficult to know if it's an isolated case, due to a different underlying cause or due to her ice magic. We don't believe structurally she's any different to you or me," he explained as he lit up a cigarette. "We did put a vial of blood in the freezer. The red cells lysed as expected. When we put her in freezing conditions however she maintained a constant temperature. It was far below what you'd expect for a human but something inside her keeps her cells functioning and something kept her from getting hypothermia. We're still working on what that is."

While it was interesting, it wasn't what Hans was after. "So you have absolutely nothing to explain how she can make snowflakes out of thin air?" Hans interrupted with fraying patience. He turned back to Elsa as she sat alone in the stark room.

"Genetic testing will take longer. The lack of any data of her using her power in a controlled environment is a challenge," Weselton turned to him pointedly.

"Perhaps if you didn't keep her dosed up on morphine and whatever cocktail of sedatives your people have cooked up you'd have a chance for her to actually use them," Hans shot back defensively. The old man could blame him all he wanted for the incident in the park. The fact of the matter was it was equally Weselton's failings for not doing enough here. He was supposed to employ some of the best minds in the world yet here they were at a dead end.

"Give an idle woman too much time and she'll cause trouble. I'm not risking it, especially not with something as dangerous as her."

Hans rolled his eyes at his misogynistic views but he'd given up debating with stubborn old mule years ago. There was no changing his mind. Albeit for the wrong reasons his paranoia may have been on point if they had the old Elsa in here, but they didn't.

"That doesn't explain why you need to give her a dose large enough to knock out an elephant," Hans muttered. It was an exaggeration, for sure, but Hans had studied pharmacology and he knew for a fact the prescriptions they were giving Elsa were far from safe. The last thing they wanted was to accidentally kill her.

"Another mystery. She's surprisingly resistant to a lot of medication."

Hans snapped up, attention immediately grabbed. "That's interesting." _Not what I was after but it's something. Does she just metabolise it quicker?_ He wondered.

The vibration of his phone interrupted their conversation. Hans considered leaving it, but curiosity got the better of him and he opened the text message.

"I hope I'm not keeping you from something," Weselton arched an eyebrow. Hans took no notice.

His eyes flicked over the screen a few times, rereading the message before he tucked his phone safely back in his pocket.

"Personal business," he replied with a note of finality. Weselton hummed while turning back to Elsa.

"Tell me, could we reduce the sedatives for a day? I have a little something I'd like to try, but it won't work with her dosed up to her eyeballs," He asked.

Weselton considered it for a long while. "We'll withdraw medication for a single day," he began seriously as he turned to Hans. "But any sign of trouble and she goes straight back on it."

Hans nodded in agreement, a sly smile playing on his lips. "Thank you. I'll make sure she's well taken care of."

* * *

 **A/N: I have a really close relationship with my mum so when I first wrote this chapter ages back by instinct I had Iduna comforting Elsa. It was only when in the comments I saw a guest wondering whether Agnarr could be redeemable that I totally face-palmed and thought 'for just once in Elsa's life he needs to be there'. So I rewrote it all and it really works so much better.**

 **In response to one of my guest reviewers, no, I haven't actually read many Frozen fanfics. I only got onto the scene in June so I went back and read the big ones: Snowflake in Spring, Anna Summers PA and r9k along with a couple of recent ones. It's not really a surprise to me that someone has done my idea first as I'm so late to the party. Despite the temptation, I'm not going to read Stolen Ice until after I've finished writing as I don't want it to alter my flow. My influence for the science-fiction side is a combination between my love of science (I wouldn't be a scientist if I didn't love my work) and TV shows like Fringe and Stranger Things.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 - I love you too**

Anna's heart was racing as she walked through the sterile halls. Blood pounded in her ears and she had to focus on keeping her breathing level. Never in her life had she done something so crazy. And she had broken into that 18+ horror movie with Elsa at the cinema. If only she could tell her younger self that it'd be ok. That in 5 years time she'd be doing even more insane things, such as breaking into one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world in a reckless and quite simply crazy attempt to break out her girlfriend, who had some insane ice magic, from whatever Frankenstein experiments they were doing on her.

That was all Anna needed to hold her resolve. The thought of them hurting Elsa filled her soul with an inferno of rage. Her imagination was vivid enough to imagine the ordeal. It made her shudder.

Her mind thought back to the park with Hans again and Anna wanted to scream in frustration. How could she have been so foolish? Leaving Elsa there with that man... The man who used her, no _groomed_ her, into giving him a way to make Elsa react. He patiently observed them, spied on them and then when the opportunity presented itself he stuck the knife in. And it wasn't just Elsa. Hans had just as brutally hurt Anna too. Despite this however she was glad she knew the truth finally. She wasn't sure if Elsa would ever have burdened her with it by choice. _But to find out from Hans..._ She clenched her fists.

"Right, it's just through here," Kristoff beckoned her forward. He flashed his pass and the doors automatically opened. Anna stayed close to him in her stolen white lab coat. She thanked the heavens that the protective clothing was just sitting on pegs along the halls. Providing they kept their confidence, Anna was certain they looked like they belonged.

She really had been so lucky Kristoff had got the position here. It had taken them a few days to set up this plan, but Kristoff had been able to collect almost everything they had needed from just two shifts. It had taken some sweet talking with the senior employees, and more than just a few drinks at the bar the previous night but they had got what they believed to be Elsa's location and a good heads up on how the security system worked. Route planned to the finest detail, Kristoff and Anna went in for the extraction while Olaf hacked into the security cameras. Everything took exact timing.

They passed another group of workers heading home for the day. Kristoff gave them his casual 'have a nice evening' talk. Anna had no idea how he could stay so damn calm. If she had to talk she feared she'd word vomit their whole plan over the person who was addressing her.

Their footsteps echoed off the corridor walls as they traversed the labyrinth. The inside of the building was a true definition of a maze: endless corridors, no windows, everything looked the same. Anna wanted nothing more than to take Kristoff's hand and squeeze it but she forced herself to stand tall and confident. She couldn't let her nerves show.

Kristoff paused at another set of doors. "This is the tricky part," He said in a low tone and despite being lost, Anna knew this was where Kristoff's knowledge ended. Beyond these doors was restricted territory. She really hoped Olaf had made it into the system otherwise this would be a short trip. "Let me do the talking."

Anna gave him a determined nod and her friend flashed his card. Access denied. Kristoff tried again. Same result. After the third try he hit the intercom.

"Kristoff Bjorgman. Mr Weselton's intern. The Duke's asked me to come and file some reports on Subject 53."

Anna tensed as she listened.

"There is no clearance for you to access this area Mr Bjorgman."

"Do you want to explain to the Duke why I wasn't able to file these reports?" Kristoff's tone went dark. "-These important and time sensitive reports." He repeated for emphasis. "So when he is about to fire me I'll remind him that his security didn't have the correct procedures in place to deal-"

"You are clear to pass Mr Bjorgman-"

"My assistant, Miss Winters will be joining me," He interrupted the intercom authoritatively.

Anna had picked the name after finding out Elsa had been using it here and there. It was stupid really, using a name the woman you're about to break out had used. Anyone with a brain could piece it together. It was only upon reflection she realised how foolish it was. But she hoped the security wouldn't know Elsa's profile personally. And there was something romantic in sharing the identity.

There was a pause.

"You are both cleared to pass." The intercom confirmed.

"Thank you," Kristoff's tone was anything but sincere as the pair marched onwards through the double doors.

Every muscle in Anna's body was tense as she followed Kristoff.

 _"Sorry I couldn't help you with that door. They had a manual override up in the security office. I couldn't take control of it,"_ Olaf's voice hummed from Anna's earpiece. She jumped and glanced around anxiously before remembering she was wearing the damn thing.

 _"I amended your employee profiles in the system but it won't take them long to realise something's up. I'd estimate about 15 minutes... That's if they haven't already found me snooping about in here."_

 _Shit._ Anna bit her lip.

 _"But I can see Elsa."_

Anna paused mid-step. Confirmation that she was here sent a rush through her. "Where?"

 _"I'll guide you,"_ Olaf assured her. Anna picked up her pace and Kristoff had to quite literally run to keep up with her.

Anna's heart and mind were on overdrive. Elsa was really here. She'd been thinking about her constantly since... since four years ago and now she was about to face her knowing everything. _Where do we even begin talking?_

They stopped at a door with a whiteboard labelled 'Subject 53' on the front. It was what she imagined a prison cell would look like.

 _"Give me a minute,"_ Olaf said over the earpiece. Anna didn't think her nerves could take it.

The light flashed green. The door pinged open and both of them took the breath they had been holding.

Anna hadn't expected what she saw inside the clinically white room. As much as she prepared herself for it, she wasn't ready. Her heart broke. Memories of the park flooded back: Elsa's empty eyes. They were the exact same now. Anna couldn't comprehend what she was seeing.

"Kristoff, wait here," She could barely get the words out as she rushed forward and fell to her knees before her puzzled friend, taking her cold hands in her own. Anna held those hands tightly, tearing her eyes from Elsa's momentarily to see the track marks, awful purple blotches against the snow white skin of her arms. She gritted her teeth as she feared what else they had done to Elsa underneath that white shift.

"Elsa," She breathed. Anna had already feared this was Elsa's fate. Why hadn't she been ready to see it?

Elsa's confusion faded and she simply looked away. There was no emotion in her blank expression.

"Elsa?" Anna whispered. When Elsa didn't acknowledge her she rose to sit on the bed beside her. She needed to act before panic set in.

 _Think, Anna!_ She held Elsa's face in her hands and forced her to make eye contact.

"We need to go, Elsa," Anna pleaded.

"I can't," Elsa's reply was harsh.

" _You can't?_ " Anna repeated in disbelief. "Why?" She demanded.

"T-minus 8 minutes!" Kristoff called into the room while keeping watch in the corridor. Anna wanted to throttle him. It wasn't like she was stalling on purpose.

"I'm a danger to the world," Elsa's voice was as empty as her eyes. "It's best for everyone that I'm here. I can't hurt anyone."

Her blood ran cold at the realisation of Elsa's mental state. Had she always been like this inside? Had Anna really been so blind to miss it? No, she couldn't let herself believe that.

"Are you serious?" Anna was shaking with raw emotion. "These people will never use your power for good! And punishing yourself for what you did to me... You aren't allowed to do that...! That isn't your choice!" Her face was wet with tears. "Don't you realise that seeing you here, like _this_ is enough to tear me apart! Elsa... Dammit Elsa you said you loved me on that recording four years ago. I don't believe that's changed. I won't believe it," Anna's breath hitched as tears flooded her eyes. "I refuse to believe you've changed because I-" she sniffed, "...I love you too. Even after everything. It won't be easy and we need to work so much out. But we have to try..." Words weren't enough. Even staring into Elsa's eyes as she spoke it was clear they were devoid of all hope. Anna needed to say more to make her understand. To _do_ more.

Anna pressed her lips furiously against Elsa's and kissed her with all of the passion she could muster. She didn't pull away. She refused to. If this was to be their last kiss she'd revel in it. Rife with heartache and desperation, Anna made sure it said everything and more.

She closed her eyes as her fists gripped the neckline of Elsa's shift and pulled the woman flush against her body. Her mind flashed back to the Winter Ball and her body roared with pent up heat. No other lover made her feel this right. Even if she had to drag Elsa out of here she'd do it.

They only parted at Kristoff's 5 minute countdown.

"Anna," Elsa said breathlessly as they met each other's eyes. Anna's heart fluttered at the spark of life in Elsa's soul again. They rested their foreheads against each other in silence. For the first time ever they were able to look at each other and truly understand one another. No more secrets.

"Please come home with me. Give me a chance. Give _us_ a chance," Anna begged her as she touched Elsa's pale cheeks. Her finger trailed down to her lips.

"...Saying no to you was always the hardest thing," Elsa murmured, and Anna shivered as Elsa touched her face. Something stirred deep within her and she had to stop herself from taking the woman right here and now.

"I'm real, I'm here," Anna whispered, filled with both relief and joy.

"Anna, it's now or never!" Kristoff interrupted, having lost his cool persona. Sweat dripped from his brow. She nodded and rose to her feet, holding her hand out to Elsa. The woman took it and was pulled to her feet into Anna's arms.

"I've got you and I promise I'll never let you go," Anna breathed into her blonde hair. Their hands entwined and tightened before Anna whisked her off into the hall.

* * *

Elsa's heart was soaring. She always knew the redhead had feelings for her but she had been so sure as soon as she knew the truth Anna would resent and despise her. And now here she was talking about love and risking her life to break Elsa out of her prison. It was like a dream.

How the girl had broken into Weselton Pharmaceuticals she couldn't comprehend but her presence, and most importantly her kiss told Elsa she needed to fight. It was hard to move her feet. Her bruised and battered body resisted her every attempt but the touch of Anna's hand was like a fire that ignited her soul. It kept her going.

They pair followed a mumbling Kristoff through the labyrinth of corridors, taking sharp turns every so often, occasionally turning around and retracing steps. Elsa frowned as she caught a glimpse of an earpiece in the man's ear. Anna was wearing one too. _They are being directed. Is mother involved?_ It was the only logical explanation. No one else would have the resources for such a breakout, of this she was certain. But if that was the case then why was Anna here? Her mother wouldn't have risked her, surely.

After a seemingly endless 10 minutes of running the group burst into an underground car park. Anna squeezed her hand; hope bright in her teal eyes. The getaway car must be down here. They'd be free. Elsa could apologise to Anna properly, accept her judgement and maybe, just maybe if there was any forgiveness the pair could find the spark they once had in the woods. Elsa allowed her mind to fly with that thought-

Bang!

Elsa snapped up at the sound of a gunshot. At least six armed men sprung out from between various cars.

"All of you stay still or I'll shoot him." Hans stepped out from behind a van, a pistol pressed to the back of Olaf's head.

"Sorry," Olaf said sincerely, his eyes on Elsa's.

 _Hans._

Elsa felt fear for the first time since Hans had revealed everything in the park. How had she allowed everyone she cared for to be caught up in her mess?

"Clever move using the intern pass. We almost missed you. Lucky I was keeping an eye on the security too," Hans said with that smug smile that Elsa was so used to. "I really thought you'd have listened to me, Anna. I warned you getting involved would only end badly for you."

"There was no way I was going to leave her," Anna growled.

 _They must have more to this. Surely mother is involved._ Elsa swiftly berated herself for thinking of her parent's protection. She had run away from her family. She had no right to wish this of them ...But even so, it was the only hope she had left.

Anna and Kristoff muttered some inaudible things to each other. Curses perhaps? Or maybe they were simply lamenting their false hope.

"Let them go," Elsa demanded as she released herself from Anna's grasp and stepped away from her two saviours. She hadn't even realised she had spoken until she was standing a few feet in front of them. The buzz of adrenaline had overcome her, bringing her back to life.

"You are hardly in a position to negotiate." Hans cocked his pistol as he forced Olaf to his knees. He pressed the barrel into the boy's ruffled black locks.

Elsa's eyes darkened as she saw her friend doing all he could to hide his fear from her. It was impossible. He was visibly shaking beneath that forced cool persona.

"You're going to cooperate and your friends will live," Hans began as he circled around Olaf and pointed the gun towards the direction of Anna.

Elsa froze; her whole body tensing. Watching that gun pointing at her love, realising just how easily he could take her from her, it filled her with a fury greater than anything.

"It was obvious seeing Anna again would reawaken your spirit. You did us a favour breaking in here," He turned to Anna. "So killing you wouldn't really be sporting," Hans withdrew the gun. "But I can't allow you to leave this time."

"You could. You are just choosing not to," Anna argued, restrained by Kristoff.

A sick and twisted feeling clawed inside of Elsa's stomach. How dare he treat her friends like this? _Damn... Here they are risking everything for you and you can't even fight._ Elsa clenched her fists so tight her knuckles went white. There was no way they were making it out of here. Not like this.

 _Pull yourself together. Fight for them._

The fear grew but it didn't paralyse Elsa as it usually did. She let it empower her just as it did all those years ago when the netball team pushed Anna into the water.

The temperature of the room was already plummeting.

"You're right, I'm choosing not to," Hans said with a shrug. "Now what do you say, Elsa?" Hans advanced on her. "Will you cooperate?"

"Don't do it, Elsa," Olaf called to her as rose to his feet.

"Stay down!" A soldier commanded him, holding his gun up.

Olaf ignored him, facing Elsa boldly. "Don't ever give in. No matter what happens, you're my best friend. Don't let them win-"

"I said get down!"

Hans turned. "Back up-"

There was no time. In one slow and tragic movement the soldier held his gun steady and shot. The bullet echoed but all Elsa heard was the cry. Blood splashed against the tarmac. Olaf doubled over in pain.

Elsa saw red. It was like her whole world slowed to a stop. Every sense was suddenly vibrant. The smell of iron, the noise of each armed man: the twitch of their muscles, the... heat radiating from them? They were furiously shivering. It was then Elsa finally realised frost had formed a layer across the whole car park.

Mind racing, Elsa forcibly slowed her thoughts to consider her options. Eyes darted from each man. Even with her icy powers she wouldn't consciously be able to fight off seven sets of bullets. She wasn't convinced she'd be able to consciously fight one. She closed her eyes. She could still _see_ them. No, perhaps feel was a better word to describe it. Those remarkable heat signatures were as strongly vibrant with and without her eyesight.

 _Lights._ And at that thought Elsa knew exactly what to do. It was a fact that she had never truly attempted to use her power since before she could remember. Her whole life she was taught to hide and conceal it. So the feeling of actively trying to awaken the monster frightened her. She used every ounce of that fear and fury to draw on whatever beast lay within.

...And within a few seconds the lights in the car park shorted, leaving them in darkness.

Elsa took two steps back and placed hands on both Kristoff and Anna's arms.

"Elsa-"

"Can you get to the car in the dark?" She interrupted Anna.

"I'll get her there," Kristoff promised, no hesitation. Elsa squeezed his arm in thanks before glancing back at Anna, her hand lingering. She wanted to kiss her in fear it would be the last time the pair ever saw each other but she held fast to those feelings and used them like paint to a canvas as she drew on the ice.

The room grew impossibly cold as she pulled away and took silent footsteps through the thick frost in the darkness. Like a woman possessed, she flicked her wrist and shards of ice blocked off the men's route to her.

The sound of wild gunfire echoed when they finally realised what they were up against. Fear of stray bullets caused her to falter in her steps. Elsa held onto the fear and projected it back at the frantic thermal images. She almost lost her mindset when she heard the sound of flesh tear and bone break. She didn't need to look to know one of those ice shards had hit a man. She felt it like an extension of herself. Elsa shuddered, a sick feeling overcoming her but she pressed on until she was at Olaf's side. The smell of iron was strong now and she was unsure whether it was from Olaf or from the bleeding soldiers.

She cupped his face in one hand and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Thank you," she whispered sincerely to him as a hand traced its way down to his injury. Her fingers were slick with blood as she held it. A puncture wound to his lower abdomen. Gods, she prayed it wasn't lethal. With the flick of her wrist she sealed it with a sheet of ice.

Olaf let out a gasp of pain, and perhaps surprise?

Looping her arm under his, she supported him towards the car where Anna's unmistakable heat signature was waiting. Any ice obstructing them melted before them and reformed behind like a barrier. More shots were fired and Elsa, without conscious thought blocked any in their direction in a wall of ice.

"Elsa! You can't run from this!" Hans yelled as the men fought their way through the maze she had left behind.

Elsa did not grace him with a reply. She dragged herself and Olaf into the backseat of the car and collapsed in exhaustion. The last thing she remembered was those teal eyes gazing down at her in relief, worry and ...pride.

* * *

Tyres screeched as the lights came back up. Hans dropped his pistol. The basement car park shimmered as frozen structures protruded from everything. It was something more akin to an icy cave in the arctic. Yet Hans could see how frantically Elsa had formed each piece. It was beautiful but wild. His fingers swept across jagged lines. The raw emotion in each edge gave him a thrill unlike anything else. _If she could build something with time and care..._ Thoughts trailed off as he envisioned the sheer power of what she was capable of. Not that he considered a carefully built structure better. The wildness of what she had done was far more beautiful than the potential for careful control.

As he admired her work the men around him tended to wounds. Some of them were pretty cut up, but none of them were dead. Beyond that he didn't care.

The vibration from his phone drew his attention away from the ice.

"Weselton," Hans said by way of greeting.

 _"She got away,"_ the voice hissed over the phone. Talk about stating the obvious.

"She showed us more than she ever would have done in that cage and we have the samples," Hans said patiently. He was still in disbelief at how naive the old man was. Of course there was every chance Elsa would escape. Sure, containing her would have been an advantage but this wasn't so bad either. At least, for Hans. Weselton however would have to deal with consequences of this little clinical trial on his own.

 _"This wasn't in the plan. You said you'd contain it. When she gets home and tells Iduna about this she is going to-"_

"You'll figure something out," Hans shrugged, uninterested.

The phone beeped to signal an incoming call. Hans pulled the mobile from his ear as Weselton prattled on and looked down at the caller ID. It was a withheld number. He tapped on one of the icicles as he considered whether to answer.

"Sorry, I've got to go, urgent call."

Hanging up on Weselton, Hans answered the new call.

 _"Report,"_ the voice demanded coldly.

Hans glanced around, certain the caller already knew what had happened.

"She got away. We got a big show out of it too," he hesitated, unsure whether to continue. His anger won out. "We agreed we wouldn't kill anyone. One of your men got trigger happy."

 _"That doesn't concern you."_

Hans held his tongue. _After the lights went out one of those stray bullets could have hit me... Or Anna. Hell they could have killed Elsa. Was this some sort of test?_

"Whatever. The balls in your court now. Do your worst," Hans muttered as he hung up. He slicked his red hair back and looked around at the jagged ice pieces.

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do next, Elsa."

* * *

 **A/N: I really had no time for Hans before I started writing him. He is growing on me.  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 -** **See you later, Anna, Kristoff ...Elsa**

Iduna wasn't a woman who panicked, yet standing here looking down at her daughter gasping for air with short and shallow breaths she couldn't help but be overcome with dread.

"I'm taking her to the hospital," Agnarr said firmly as he moved to pick their fragile daughter up from the couch.

"We can't," Iduna replied with equal force. Agnarr paused, not missing the power behind those words.

"She will die-"

"And if they find out what she can do that will be a death sentence upon itself!" She snapped at her husband.

Iduna held one hand to her head as she tried to think. It was impossible beneath the haze of panic. She needed to calm herself. She needed to gain some control over this mess before it was too late. What was taking Gerda so long?

She moved to Elsa's side to examine her again, leaving her husband to begin pacing. Her hand traced Elsa's slick forehead. She was both sweating and shivering, and if Iduna hadn't taken her temperature herself she would never have believed just how low Elsa's core body temperature was. She was responding as if she had a high fever but in reality it was closer to hypothermia. It wasn't something that could be explained by her years of medical experience. Just like Elsa's 'magic', this condition defied all understanding.

"I can drive you," Henry offered from the far side of the room. Iduna looked up sharply, almost forgetting about their visitors. Almost being the key word. If her husband's business partner and son weren't here Elsa wouldn't have been pushed into using her powers. She wouldn't have caused a blizzard in the drawing room. Ice wouldn't have crawled up the walls, a foot of snow wouldn't have settled on the floor. It had been the first time Elsa had done such a thing, and it was no coincidence they were here. It was their fault.

...It was easier to blame them than herself.

"She will not be going to a hospital," Iduna repeated with even more ferocity.

The silence that fell upon the room was deafening. As Iduna returned to her medicine bag she didn't notice the young boy approach her daughter. She didn't see him take her hand, nor the curious look in his eye as he examined her sleeping face.

"She's frozen. She needs more blankets-"

"Don't touch her-" Iduna shrieked and the boy jumped back in fright. She regretted it the moment she had snapped, but she wouldn't apologise. "Please, just leave. This is a personal matter."

She caught Agnarr's eye and she almost begged him to support her in this. How he couldn't understand how severe this was astounded her. It took her a good few moments of reflection to realise he must have understood. He was no doubt as lost as she was. How could they keep their little girl safe and protected when they themselves had no idea how her power even worked? A few frozen tears as a toddler were nothing compared to the storm she unleashed just that afternoon. Her power was growing, that much was certain. And now they had to convince Henry Westergard and his 7 year old son to keep it a secret.

Iduna exhaled exasperated. It was a complicated mess which would haunt them, she was sure of it.

"She is right," Agnarr said after a moment. "We thank you for your generosity but we will handle this. I'll be in touch," he turned to his old friend. Henry gave him a nod.

"As you wish. I'm just at the end of the phone if you need assistance," he replied courteously, glancing at Iduna as he did. She looked away and back to Elsa, sure in the knowledge she wouldn't be further involving him or anyone else in this. Too many were involved already.

Agnarr showed Henry from the room, leaving Iduna to sit beside her daughter. _You're breathing is so shallow. Your temperature is so low, lower than normal... How do I help you?_ Iduna was so lost in thought she didn't even hear the door close, nor the footsteps that followed.

"I took the liberty of examining the drawing room on my way through. You weren't exaggerating, she is getting stronger," Gerda bent down beside Iduna, making her jump. Iduna wanted to chastise her for her stealth but she was overcome with relief at the sight of her. If anyone could save Elsa it was her.

"Thank god you're here. Tell me you can save her. You must save her." Iduna paused for breath and looked Gerda straight in the eye. She was smirking. She never smirked. Iduna's jaw clenched. "I know. I'm getting emotional. Irrational," she stated the obvious in exasperation as she ran a hand through her brown hair.

"It's a refreshing change. I was certain your heart was frozen," there was mild amusement in her only friend's voice. It was momentary however as Gerda pulled close to Elsa to examine her.

Iduna stood back while Gerda confirmed everything that Iduna had already checked. As she waited impatiently she held onto hope that Gerda would know best. Aside from her husband and Kai, she was the only other person she could rely on, and certainly the only doctor she'd ever trust with Elsa.

Agnarr re-entered the room and took his place beside his wife, wrapping an arm around her. She relaxed into him, grateful to him for seeing the Westergards out. She was not one for displays of affection but she took his hand and threaded her fingers in his. The air hung heavy between them, the tension of Elsa's fate silently ripping them apart. She knew he'd blame her if Elsa got worse, or god forbid, didn't make it. Hell, she'd blame herself. She had been so sure earlier. Now Gerda was here she could reflect on just how rash she had been. If Gerda couldn't do anything had she wasted precious time? Could they really lose their daughter?

"I bought the fluids," Gerda turned away from Elsa to face Iduna and Agnarr. "I think taking some samples and putting up an IV drip will be the best thing to begin. I'll start her on some general antibiotics too, just to be safe. Once I have the results we can see what we can do from there. It looks likely to be overexertion from whatever she did in your drawing room..." she hesitated. "I think you were right about the hospital. They'd be guessing as much as we are. Rest assured, I'll do everything I can to save her," she promised.

It was Agnarr who squeezed Iduna's hand. She caught the desperate hope in his eyes.

 _She's strong. She'll make it through._ Her promise was silent.

* * *

Iduna wasn't a woman who panicked, yet standing here looking down at her daughter gasping for air with short and shallow breaths she couldn't help but be overcome with dread.

 _Da ja vu_. Elsa was just as she was 15 years ago, except this time she was unconsciously freezing the whole room. Ice lined the floor and walls and it was growing; crawling up the room like some sort of parasite. Her power had grown considerably. No longer did a small snowstorm knock her out and seemingly almost kill her. If Anna was to be believed, and Iduna was sure she was, Elsa had unleashed something far stronger and darker in that car park. Wielding the ice like a weapon had done this.

Aside from the last time Iduna saw her daughter like this, Elsa had never been ill; quite a feat for a woman of her age. Even common colds and the like she had managed to evade. It had taken Iduna several years to really notice just how well Elsa seemed to be, how she always was. It took even longer after that to begin to wonder if perhaps it had something to do with her mysterious icy powers. But she had always looked back on the day where Elsa almost died and feared it could happen again. It was just one of the many reasons why using these powers in the first place was such a risk.

"Is she going to be ok?" Anna asked out of clear and obvious concern. Iduna knew the girl was sincere. She was as worried as the rest of them but she just wished the redhead would stop talking. "I can't stand this waiting. She's getting weaker and colder! I'm taking her to a hospital. I can't lose her, not again. I've only just got her-"

"Please Anna, I can't think when you're talking!" Iduna snapped. She regretted it the moment she did but Anna didn't shrink back. To Iduna's surprise the usually timid girl stood her ground.

"What can I do to save her? Please tell me!"

"We can't do anything," the admission hurt Iduna more than Anna ever could have known. "We'll wait for Gerda ...And then we will hold onto hope."

* * *

 **5 hours earlier**

Anna cradled Elsa in her lap as Kristoff accelerated out of the underground car park. Her fingers twirled curls through her blonde hair in a brief moment of respite.

Elsa had done the impossible: used her power to break them out. It was never in the plan, but Anna was relieved Elsa had saved them. They now had a chance not only to get away but possibly at a future. She held fast to that fleeting image.

Kristoff smashed through the barrier and the car skidded onto the road. He jumped every red light.

"Kristoff you're going to get us killed!" Anna, sharply snapping out of her daydreams chastised him in fear of their lives. If Hans didn't catch up to them then they'd surely perish in a car accident at the rate he was going.

"I'm getting Olaf to the hospital," his response came out as a grunt.

"You can't do that," Olaf told him with a quiet seriousness. "Elsa sealed the wound. They'd ask questions."

"That isn't worth dying for." Kristoff threw the car around another corner.

"She sealed it? With ice?" Anna asked in disbelief as she leaned across Elsa's unconscious form to examine Olaf's wound. She tentatively placed her hand to the frozen seal. Ice fractals glinted with scarlet as she traced her finger over the ice. It would have been beautiful if she hadn't been so aware of how tragic the situation was.

This was the first time she was able to fully appreciate both the beauty and horror in Elsa's power. Just now in the car park she hadn't seen what Elsa had done in the darkness. Even at those times in the past where the air had gotten cold and the storms started it had always felt... natural? No that wasn't the word. But it felt possible. This seemed completely impossible. And yet Anna was gazing down at it all the same.

"Olaf you realise when this thaws..." Anna's voice trailed off.

"I know enough about the molecular state of water and cells to know I'm going to bleed a lot." He caught her eye and Anna could see his fear. She knew that while the cold was good for constricting blood vessels, and the ice likely acted as a plug, cells were mostly made out of water. They'd expand when they froze which would rip those fragile membranes to pieces. He wasn't just going to bleed, there was every chance he was going to be gushing with blood. Surely Elsa wouldn't have done this unless she truly believed there was nothing else she could do to keep the boy alive long enough to reach a hospital.

Anna scrunched her eyes shut as she struggled to think.

Kristoff didn't give her the time she needed. "Even more reason for him to be at a hospital. Elsa is barely conscious. If whatever power she's using fails we won't be able to save him."

Anna took a deep breath and nodded. Kristoff had already thought of this, of course. She was finally catching up to him.

"Elsa would do anything to save you. We'll drop you to the hospital, we'll take Elsa home and then we'll come back for you," Anna told Olaf seriously.

"It's out of the way. Hans will no doubt be able to do something crazy like make the police block the road out of town before you make it," he tried to argue but there was no conviction in it.

"If that ice melts there is every chance you'll die," Anna's tone took a stronger turn but her face lightened as she looked over Olaf's resigned face.

"Just keep Elsa safe. Don't worry about me. I'll get back to you guys. Please don't let Hans trick you into some sort of trap," he was pleading with her.

Anna wished she could promise him that but she wouldn't lie. There was every chance Hans and Weselton would get to Olaf at the hospital first and any attempt they made to blackmail Elsa would surely succeed. The words went unspoken but Anna knew it as much as the boys did.

"I'll protect Elsa," she stuck to what she could say. It seemed to be enough for Olaf because he said no more.

Kristoff pulled up in an ambulance bay right outside the entrance to accident and emergency, ignoring all signage specifically saying it was forbidden. Any threat of a fine was eclipsed by their fear of their friend's fate.

Olaf adjusted himself slowly so he could carefully lean down closer to Elsa's face.

"Be good," his voice was barely a whisper as he kissed her cheek.

"Let me take you in-"

"No. Don't." Olaf forced a warm smile. He brushed his black fringes from his eyes and Anna's heart sunk at the finality in his eyes.

 _This isn't the end._ She wanted nothing more than to be beside him through this ordeal but he was right. Elsa had been their mission. Risking her being caught by Hans and Weselton would make his sacrifice have been for nothing and breaking her out a second time would be even more impossible.

"When this is all over and we're all together and free we're going to build that snowman." Anna swore through unshed tears. "We'll invite Marshmallow and even Kristoff and Sven will be there."

Olaf's smile reached his eyes this time.

"I'll hold you to that. See you later, Anna, Kristoff ...Elsa." His eyes lingered on her face for a moment before exiting the car. He stumbled towards the entrance and as Kristoff violently reversed the car Anna caught a glimpse of a trail of blood running down Olaf's side.

...And she couldn't help but fear this would be the last time she saw the young man.

* * *

Elsa faded in and out of consciousness. She was numbly aware of the vibrations. The stop and starting motions. The hum of a car engine. She was still travelling. But where was she travelling to? Elsa didn't have the power to focus on that question. Soft words and a flash of red hair reassured her that everything was ok. She relaxed into the body beside her. Anna was here, keeping her safe. _I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of you..._ A pause. Memories flooded back of the car park, what she had done. The ice. Hans. The gunshot. Olaf _-Olaf-_

* * *

Before Anna had time to register it Elsa's eye snapped open. She flew forward, almost landing in the front seat of the car.

"Elsa!" Anna had to pull her back in an impressive bear hug to restrain her.

"Olaf," Elsa breathed and silence descended upon the car. Kristoff kept going at a steady speed along the motorway, leaving Anna to face Elsa alone.

Now calmer, Elsa pulled back and turned to face her. Even in the dim light from the streetlamps Anna could see there was still so much darkness in those blue eyes.

"We took him to the local hospital-"

"And where are we?" Elsa snapped, gesturing to the car. Anna took a moment to stop herself from biting back in retaliation. Any relief from having Elsa back was evaporating under the fear of Olaf's fate. Her nerves were as frayed as Elsa's. Perhaps even more so as she'd been stewing on it since leaving him behind. She had replayed the night again and again trying to work out what went wrong and how they could have prevented it.

 _You were unconscious. We had no idea if you'd wake up. We did our best._ Anna clenched her fists in her lap.

"We are taking you home. Not your apartment home. Your mansion home," Kristoff spoke for Anna.

A short silence descended over them again.

"You are _what_?"

* * *

Elsa felt her blood run cold, colder than normal. How could they possibly believe showing up at her parent's house was smart? She hadn't seen her mother in four years and her father had only just passed away. She hadn't even responded to her mother's calls and emails. She had no right to walk back in now and expect all the love and protection she had long denied.

Her head was in her hands, pulse racing. _I can't face her. Olaf... Olaf this is my fault._

"It's the only place Hans and Weselton can't touch you-"

"I can't go back there. Turn the car around. I need to be at the hospital for Olaf." Anything to escape going home. Anything to see her friend again and know he was safe.

The car was cold now but Elsa barely realised. "I don't care about the danger-"

"Elsa Arendelle you are going back home and you will make up with your mother!" Anna's stern voice shocked Elsa into silence. "You are not running away from this any longer!" Now Anna had started talking she couldn't stop herself. "Me, Olaf and Kristoff risked everything to break you out of that place! You will not throw that away! You're going back home where you will be safe and we'll come up with a plan to find Olaf afterwards." Anna softened towards the end of her rant as she seemed to realise just how mad she had gotten. She dialled her tone right back and Elsa saw the regret in her face. The ramblings of apologies would come as soon as Anna found her voice again.

Elsa let out a sigh in acceptance. It hurt but she needed to hear it. And hearing it from Anna reminded her it was true.

She looked down in shame. They had just saved her life and here she was demanding they take her where ever she damn well pleased. _I am so selfish._

"Oh gods, I was really out of line. I am so sorry-"

"No," Elsa pressed her finger to Anna's soft lips to silence her. "You were right, as always."

"...Can I have that in writing?" Anna smirked.

 _I'd give you anything._ She wasn't able to get the words out. She wearily looked Anna over, taking in every small detail. Now she had nothing else left to focus on other than facing her mother and facing Anna, Elsa felt the familiar weight of fear and regret crashing down upon her. That black hole threatened to swallow her whole. _I can't believe you came for me._ Elsa leaned forward and took the Anna's hand in her own. Their fingers entwined. The warmth of her skin sent a thrill through her body.

"...Why did you do it? Why did you come for me?" She asked in barely a whisper.

"How could I not?" Anna let out a sigh. "I don't know how I can explain it in a way you'll understand because it doesn't exactly make sense. I can't just hate you. I'm angry you didn't tell me. I'm furious with your parents for keeping me in the dark. Actually I'm pretty annoyed all round that everyone seemed to know except me. I just wish you'd-" Anna paused. "Elsa-"

Elsa's eyes rolled back. Her head limply fell forward, smacking Anna in the face.

* * *

Anna held her head back to help ease her bleeding nose. Elsa was unconscious on her lap again.

"What did you do to her?" Kristoff called back.

"I have no idea. One minute I was talking, the next she passed out," Anna murmured. There was a long pause. "Why do you always assume I've done something?"

"Because it's always you," Kristoff said easily as he cranked the heating right up to max. "We're an hour away now. Get some rest, Feisty-Pants," he caught her eye in the rear view mirror as he spoke. She nodded wearily, her hand playing with Elsa's hair again.

Anna tilted her head slowly down to check over Elsa. She was flushed yet ice cold to the touch.

 _Hold on until we're home, Elsa._

* * *

They skidded down the long drive of the manor leaving tyre marks across the pristine paving stones. Anna would have been gloating and teasing Kristoff as his jaw dragged along behind them had she not been cradling Elsa in her arms so tightly. Her condition hadn't improved, and by all standards it had grown worse. It had become so bad during the journey Anna had called Iduna for advice, not that the woman had been much help aside from demanding Elsa return home immediately. Anna had considered stopping off at a hospital on the way but Elsa's magic complicated things. In particular the thick layer of frost that had spread from her and what now coated the inside of the car. It was a wonder Kristoff could still drive. The demister was working overtime to keep the front windscreen clear.

Now at entrance to the house Kai and Iduna were racing down the steps to greet them.

Anna was only half way out of the car and they were upon her. Iduna's hand was pressed against Elsa's forehead, her usual stony mask crumbling beneath worry and concern.

"Get her to her room," she ordered Kai. Anna and Kristoff had to run to keep up with them, abandoning the car out the front.

"Kristoff, there is a guest room two doors on the right. Rest up there. Don't worry, I'll shout you if anything goes down," Anna told him sincerely, making the assumption that her foster parents hadn't changed the rooms.

He nodded in understanding, giving her a fistbump. "If you need me get me up, no matter what," he assured her.

Anna thanked him silently, not just for getting them here but for everything before. _I'll find you something better than a years supply of doughnuts._ She promised. She had all the time in the world to decide what that'd be though. Right now Elsa needed her. She was inside Elsa's bedroom and by her friend's side before she had time to think.

"Is she going to be ok? I can't stand this waiting," Anna was shaking from pent up anxiety. While sitting cramped in the car all she could think of was getting here. Now she was here she didn't know what to do with herself.

Even after just a few minutes frost had settled across the room. It was eerie just how fast it moved. Anna had to step over into a covered patch in fear it'd somehow crawl up her legs if she met the edge.

She watched Iduna in deep contemplation. The silence was driving Anna mad.

"She's getting weaker and colder! I'm taking her to a hospital. I can't lose her, not again. I've only just got her-"

"Please Anna, I can't think when you're talking!" Iduna snapped.

Anna didn't back down. She wouldn't. She _couldn't._

"What can I do to save her? Please tell me!"

A brief pause.

"We can't do anything. We'll wait for Gerda ...And then we will hold onto hope."

 _That's it?_ Anna gritted her teeth. Every moment that passed Elsa grew colder. Iduna was supposed to be able to save Elsa. That was the whole point in coming here. _Should we have gone to the hospital?_

"I need to make some calls. Stay with her. Gerda will be here soon," Iduna paused, looking Anna over with that familiar disapproving look. "Put a coat on. It's only going to get colder."

* * *

Iduna only relaxed her guard the moment she was alone. Standing in her empty office she could finally let out the cry of emotion she had been holding back. It escaped her throat in a low, strangled sound and was gone. There were no tears, as much as she needed to cry. She hadn't cried in years. Today would be no different.

Deep inside she had known the only way she'd see her daughter again was like this; broken and abused.

"Agnarr, we allowed this," she spoke to the photographs around the room. "And now you've left me to fix this alone." The bitterness oozed from her words. She slammed the photo frame of her husband down on the desk. Her eyes caught another photo. The single photograph of the three of them at a time where they were all happy. Agnarr remembered how to talk to his daughter, Iduna remembered how to smile and Elsa held so much love in her bright eyes. How had they all become so cold?

She knew they should have done more to bring Elsa home sooner... but she never would have listened. Agnarr had insisted they should give her space.

 _We'd only push her further away._ The thoughts haunted her. She had spent years arguing constantly with her husband. It was true Agnarr had been responsible for the decisions that caused Elsa to make her greatest mistakes. If it had been down to her she never would have allowed their daughter to attend a normal school. Or spend a week camping. Or let her stay away from home for four years.

But she never would have lived either.

The girl who had left wasn't the woman who had returned. It would be a challenge to come to terms with it but logic told her she had to. She could understand logic. Emotions of the heart however were more difficult to unpick. She wasn't used to feeling _so_ much.

There was one particular emotion that was fighting its way out of her at this very moment. She knew it was a terrible idea, possibly the worst idea. Despite this Iduna had dialled the number into her office telephone before she even had time to think it through.

"Put me through to Otto," she demanded before the voice on the other end could even so much as say hello.

 _"I'm afraid Mr Weselton is busy-"_

"Tell him it is Mrs Arendelle. He is expecting me."

The PA put Iduna on hold for what felt like a lifetime. Iduna was sure the weasel was trying to work out how he'd get out of this one. Perhaps he thought with Elsa gone this could all be easily swept under the carpet. He wouldn't be getting away so easily.

 _"...Iduna,"_ the voice on the other end of the line was unmistakable. Christ, it had been years. She closed her eyes, fleeting memories dragging her back to the past. He sounded the same as he did 21 years ago.

"Mrs Arendelle to you," Iduna said curtly, restraining all of her anger and resentment. She wanted nothing more than to explode; to unleash all of that chaos upon him but she held back. That wasn't what she needed from this conversation. She had just two goals. Her first: "You are going to give me everything."

 _"I'm afraid I don't know what you are-"_

"Cut the bullshit. Every single piece of data you took on my daughter. You will give it to me and you'll delete your copies. Unless you want to lose your contract with Arendelle Corporation," the threat wasn't an idle one and Weselton knew it. As for her second goal... "Count yourself lucky it wasn't me who organised that rescue because if it was I wouldn't have left you alive." Iduna was sure she could hear him squirming. She didn't stop. "And know if you pull a stunt like this again I _will_ be involved." That seemed to be enough.

 _"...If I agree you'll take this no further?"_ He asked tentatively.

 _Right where I want him._ In truth Iduna would have liked nothing more than to have retaliated. Just seeing the state Elsa was in had fired her up something fierce but she needed to keep a level head. Going to war with him would be counterproductive and would risk Elsa's secret being revealed.

"That's the agreement. But know if you cross me-"

 _"Yes, yes, you've made the threat abundantly clear,"_ he was almost hissing down the phone. _"I'll send you everything."_

Iduna switched her computer on while giving him the details he'd need. A physical handover of the data would be the safest route for the bulk of the research but she'd need a list of the medication they'd given Elsa before Gerda could attempt to treat her.

She had her doubts about him keeping up his end of the bargain by deleting his copies, but at least this way she could keep him where she could see him.

 _Better the devil you know._

* * *

Anna had sat at Elsa's bedside for hours without a break. She had wrapped herself in all three of Elsa's luxury dressing gowns and wore as many pairs of socks as she could raid from Elsa's wardrobes. Anna had never felt such physical coldness. Even skiing at the North Mountain felt warmer than here.

Elsa's frost formed a thick layer over the entire room, including Anna. She had only left to visit the bathroom once but she had seen the ice extend down the halls. Elsa had plunged most of the house into a bitter cold. Anna imagined her power to be like a tap that had a leak. She could turn it off as tightly as she could but it still dripped out.

"Constantly causing me trouble," Anna murmured as she looked over Elsa's unconscious form. It was unbelievable to think that just that just yesterday they were breaking her out, and no more than a few weeks before that Anna was at university completely oblivious to everything.

 _I've been blind for so long._ It wasn't regret that plagued her though. Despite it all she was happy to be here, happy to know the truth. She would be a whole lot happier though if Elsa would wake up. Gerda had been in and out regularly, taking readings and making sure Elsa was stable. It didn't seem to be waking her up any faster.

Anna sat rigid as Iduna entered.

"How are you?" Iduna asked as she crossed the room. Each step crunched from the frost.

"She's the same as before. No change."

"I know how Elsa is. I was asking how _you_ were," Iduna interrupted as she took a seat beside Anna.

Anna blinked in surprise. _What? She's actually asking about me?_ It took her a good minute to get her brain back in gear to even reply.

"Oh, wow, me-me-I'm doing ok. I mean, as ok as someone can be given all of the shi-crap that's going down," she stumbled over her words, eyes never leaving Elsa. She bit her tongue from saying any more. A part of her wanted to demand answers from Iduna. Not just for being left in the dark about her parents but about Elsa too. She had known everything and she could have avoided all of this heartache. But the rational part of her mind told her to hold back. No doubt she was doing what she believed was right. Anna couldn't work out if she'd had made the same choices in her position.

"You're awfully quiet considering you're 'ok'," Iduna commented idly.

Anna tensed. Could she read her mind?

"I just wanted to say thank you." Anna turned to face her in surprise at the admission. "You knew what Elsa had done, what she _is_ , and yet you still stupidly broke into that lab and brought her home. I underestimated you."

For a moment Anna felt a glimmer of pride at Iduna's praise. It may not even have been praise, but Anna was going to grab it with both hands.

"Do not misunderstand, I'm still furious you did it without informing me," Iduna paused and Anna held her breath. "But I'm glad it was you. Elsa needs you."

"You should have involved me sooner," Anna said quietly, finger subconsciously stoking Elsa's hand. "I'd have protected her."

"You must understand why that would have been a bad idea. We couldn't have expected you to forgive her."

"You should have trusted me. You were right, she does need me. She needed me four years ago... just like I needed her," Anna squeezed Elsa's hand tight. The emotion was raw. Anna didn't even know how raw it was until it came out. So much could have been avoided. Both of them had been lost alone in the darkness for so long. So much pain could have been wiped away.

"I didn't see it soon enough," Iduna admitted.

"You didn't see what?"

"That you loved her as much as she does you. It was selfish of me, I know, but I resented you for pushing my child away. It wasn't your fault, but I blamed you all the same."

Anna didn't release her grip on Elsa's ice cold hand. She could appreciate Iduna's viewpoint, even if she didn't agree with it. Iduna wanted the best for Elsa but like all children, she had other ideas for what was best.

"Why did you ask me to bring her home?" Anna asked after a long silence. "If you knew how I felt, how she felt. If you hated me why did you promote that?"

"Blaming you and hating you are not the same thing," Iduna corrected her almost immediately. "I never hated you. I just... didn't trust you. It was Agnarr who suggested I phone you. I was desperate and still in denial. It took until after that ridiculous tape leaked of you two to really understand..." Iduna made a face and Anna shrunk back in shame. "...I was furious at first. I immediately assumed it was down to you. How could my Elsa do something like that? Then Agnarr reminded me that Elsa wasn't a child anymore. She hadn't been for a long time."

"It was my fault," Anna said too quickly. She had almost forgotten about the tape but now Iduna had mentioned it she couldn't allow Elsa to take the blame. Elsa was the one with the reputation. She was the one with everything to lose. Anna was a nobody. She had no one to disappoint, nothing to lose. Except for Elsa.

"It takes two," Iduna sighed. "To be honest despite my initial fury it faded quickly. People have done worse at these parties."

"Elsa will be relieved to hear that. She had a total meltdown over it. Between that and the news of her father she was in a bad place... and then Hans hit her with all that stuff about me," Anna groaned. Just saying it aloud reminded her of how bad it all was, all in such close succession. _No wonder she was in such a dark place._

Iduna nodded in silent acknowledgement. It was refreshing to sit beside her in the quiet without secrets or closed doors.

"Anna."

"Hm?" She looked round to Iduna curiously.

"Get some sleep. I'll watch her." When Anna went to argue Iduna continued. "I'll get you if anything changes."

Anna was reluctant to leave Elsa but the thought of rest made her already heavy eyelids grow even more tired. She glanced at the window as the early morning sunlight began to stream through. Dawn had broken already. She wouldn't last here all day, especially with how cold it was in here.

"I'll lay down for a few hours," she gave in. As she got up she paused by Elsa's bedside. She bent down and leaned in close, not caring that Iduna was watching. She had confessed to knowing about them. It wasn't like it was some terrible secret that they needed to hide; nothing compared to the secret of Elsa's magic anyway.

Anna planted a warm kiss on Elsa's lips.

"Keep fighting. I'll still be here waiting when you wake up."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this one took me longer than usual to get out. It's been my longest and most challenging chapter to write. I hope the switching POVs aren't too jarring. I'm also reaching the point where I'm running out of drafts. Writing has been a bit slow for me this month too due to family and work commitments but I am still working on future chapters. I have a sporadic life, so I'll have sporadic updates.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 - FYI I do have gingerbread perfume and I'll have you know it's fabulous**

Elsa inhaled deeply, the scent of gingerbread filling her lungs. Fingers threaded through red hair. Silk sheets rubbed against her as she stretched. An arm reached across and she snuggled into the body beside her. She craved the warmth. It was like a drug. This familiar calm was welcome.

She could feel the each bruise, each scratch upon her. There was no pain though. Only the sensation of it being there. Memories drifted back in a slow stream. Elsa unpicked each one individually.

For a moment she was sat inside an industrial refrigeration unit. Hours passed in seconds and she was dragged out barely conscious. Just how long had she survived in there in nothing but a flimsy hospital gown?

She was plunged head first into water. It filled her lungs. Air was impossible to grasp. She fought; it was the only time she fought. As she was pulled out, coughing and gasping for each breath hoarsely she recalled the scientists and their disappointment. She couldn't breathe underwater. It just seemed so ridiculous that they even thought she might have been able to.

She felt the cold breath of someone behind her, hissing instructions into her ear. She hadn't responded. A backhand to the face stung.

None of the pain compared to what she felt for hurting Anna. If anything it was a distraction: a way to self harm without having to make the choice herself.

 _I really am so weak._

They changed tactics more times than she could count. Everything from blackmail to gentle persuasion were attempted to convince her to use her power but no matter what they said or did, or what drugs they plied her with, nothing made her speak. She had been resolute in her unwillingness to give them any sort of demonstration. It was ironic considering how she had spent her whole life failing to contain her power and the moment someone wanted to see it she could keep it hidden deep. Or perhaps it was because she hadn't felt anything but pain since watching Anna break before her eyes.

"Anna..." she murmured.

"I'm here," Anna assured her, stroking her hair gently. "I'm not going anywhere."

 _How is she still here after everything I've done?_

A choked sob escaped Elsa's throat. She clung to Anna, afraid if she let go the girl would leave her forever. Anna's hand stroked gentle circles on Elsa's back as she cried.

Memories of the breakout flooded Elsa's mind. Anna. Olaf. Hans. The gunshot. She tensed.

"Olaf is doing fine," Anna promised soothingly, as if reading her mind. "He is still at the hospital but he's doing good. We'll go see him soon, I promise." Elsa relaxed at the news.

 _Anna really saved you._ The joy she felt from it was eclipsed in guilt and self-loathing. _It would be better if she didn't love you. It would have been better if she left you. You don't deserve-_

"I'm sorry," Anna said, unaware of Elsa's internal battle against herself. She continued to rub Elsa's back gently. "You and Olaf warned me that Hans was bad news, and I ignored you both."

 _You shouldn't be apologising to me. I'm the monster. I did everything wrong._

"I wish you had told me everything sooner. I understand how unbelievable it is, but even so, it all makes sense now. Back by the lake when you saved me from those girls, it snowed. It snowed when you left home four years ago, in the park with Hans." Elsa felt Anna tense up beside her. "...And the day I lost my parents... I can't imagine how much guilt you've been carrying. I was grieving but at least I could move on. Knowing that you've been dealing with this without me this whole time..."

 _But it was my fault._

"It wasn't your fault Elsa. I pushed you. I wanted more from you before you left me for university. I was terrified you'd forget me. I didn't think you'd wait unless you knew there was something worth waiting for," Anna was talking through tears but she didn't hold back. "I thought I knew you so well but I had no idea. Magic aside, I never saw the real you. I never stopped to think you had more than one mask: you hid so much insecurity and fear."

 _I never let you see anything else._

"And then I saw your eyes in that... _place_." Anna's voice was strained as a tension built in her body. "You don't need to explain. The way you looked at me told me all I needed to know. You have been hurting so much." Anna's grip grew tighter. "I'm upset about my parents. I loved them so much. They didn't deserve what happened-"

 _I know. It's why it hurts so much._

"-But you don't deserve it either. I may not know you as well as I thought, but I am damn well certain that you didn't intend to hurt them or me.

 _Intentions mean nothing. I did it all the same._

"We can't change the past but we can make the future better. And I don't know what breaks my heart more; seeing you like you were in that lab or not facing the future together with you."

Elsa took a sharp inhale of breath. She pulled back slightly to finally look Anna in the eye.

"So you are awake. I was worried my rambling had put you back to sleep," Anna said with as much carefree amusement as she could muster. When Elsa could only blink, Anna pressed on with a sigh. "I don't know how drugged up you were, I'm actually not sure how drugged up you are now, but I meant what I said when I broke you out. I love you Elsa Arendelle and I'll be with you every step of the way from here on out if you're let me."

Elsa sat stunned. She wasn't sure why the declaration shocked her, she'd heard it once before after all. Anna wasn't one to go back on her word. With the tiniest spark of hope she had wished Anna would forgive her and love her but it had seemed such a far away dream. And now it was happening Elsa didn't know what to do with it. She had distanced herself from love for so long she didn't know how to handle what Anna was so freely giving her. It was too precious and too fragile for Elsa to accept.

"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your forgiveness and least of all your love," Elsa responded rashly while pulling away. Panic sunk its claws into her heart. She refused to look Anna in the eye. She wasn't brave enough to face her pain again. The sooner Anna left the better for them both. She could sink into her bottomless misery and she wouldn't have to risk dragging Anna down with her. Anna could be free.

"Elsa," Anna began starkly, not making any attempt to close the gap between them. There was a long pause as Anna chose her next words carefully. "If I told you I am the one who doesn't deserve to be happy, what would you say?"

Elsa knew it was a trap but she replied out of instinct and not conscious thought. "You deserve all of the happiness in the world." She could have face-palmed. She was high on self-hate and what she assumed were strong prescription pain killers but she was lucid enough to know exactly where Anna was taking this. The little minx was faster and cleverer than Elsa gave her credit for.

"That is exactly how I feel about you. That means you understand how much me seeing you like this hurts."

Anna's logic was too damn flawless. Outmanoeuvred and caught in a checkmate all Elsa could do was shake with frustration.

"Dammit! Can't you see I'm a failure? How can you love something-" Elsa hiccupped as tears streamed down her face. "-something as _broken_ as me?"

"You're only a failure to _you_ and being broken is just a state of mind. I love you. The _whole_ you." Anna reached forward to embrace her again. Elsa didn't resist. She sunk into Anna not realising how happy she was to have lost the battle until she held her.

"You're not the only one who wonders that you know? I mean, you do go the extra mile for your rock bottom self esteem but I could ask you the same thing. What have I done to make the intelligent, magic-wielding-super-hero, beautiful daughter of a multimillionaire fall in love with me? You could have anyone in the whole world. I couldn't even make friends at school."

Caught by surprise, Elsa's sob came out as a muted chuckle.

 _"How does one describe perfection? Is it the freckles that are dusted over your body like icing sugar? Those endless teal eyes which I lose myself in every time I look at you? Your messy red hair in the morning? The way you always smell like sugary treats. I'm sure you have gingerbread perfume. Or the way you talk so much and then get embarrassed and muddle up words? Or perhaps the way you care so much about other people, even the bad people who you shouldn't waste your time on."_ Elsa leaned into Anna and sighed contentedly. She could have gone on for hours. Just being reminded of how much Anna meant to her and knowing Anna was here to stay calmed her emotions. She didn't believe she deserved her. She didn't believe she deserved any of this but if Anna was trying, and if her mother and Olaf were trying too she owed it to all of them not to give in. Even if it hurt to get through every day, it would be worth it to see that smile on Anna's face.

"Did you mean to say that out loud or was it supposed to be one of those internal monologues? Either way I liked it." Anna was smirking.

Elsa's face went scarlet. Eyes shot open. Her breath caught as she tried to find words to undo what she had just done. She looked up and met Anna's eyes in a panic. She couldn't have looked any more smug. It only made it worse.

"FYI I do have gingerbread perfume and I'll have you know it's fabulous. But I didn't realise freckles were such a turn on for you," she teased and Elsa was ready to die from embarrassment.

 _Why am I so stupid?_ She berated herself. She was about to descend into a torrent of self loathing when Anna's voice dragged her back up from the depths of her mind.

"Seen as we're sharing I guess it's my turn. It's really not as romantic. I had a crush on you the moment you punched that girl at school in the face and saved me. Actually, maybe a little before that. You were pretty damn distracting in the netball trials. You were sweating so bad and that uniform..." Elsa felt Anna shudder beneath her which set off a thrill in response. Elsa hadn't realised just how close she was to Anna. Pressed flush and held there tightly by each other's arms, Anna keeping Elsa from running away and Elsa clinging to Anna, her only slither of peace in the storm that was her mind. "Let's just say it shouldn't have been on the school uniform list because it was completely and totally inappropriate."

Elsa noticed Anna wasn't wearing a nightgown like she was. She had opted to help herself to one of Elsa's t-shirts. In fact it wasn't just any t-shirt, it was one Anna had given her. A Batman t-shirt. The black fabric hung off her small frame. Skin touched skin beneath the sheets and Elsa flushed as she realised that was probably all Anna was wearing. Never mind school uniform being inappropriate. Elsa had already worked out she was at home in her old room. _If mother walks in..._

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she tried to forget about her mother and home. She wanted nothing more than to just lose herself in Anna.

"I was a complete jerk to you back then and you were so nice to me," Elsa murmured as she thought back. She had been a jerk to everyone. Why Anna had ever wanted to spend time with her had been a mystery.

"You just needed a bit of kindness to open up. And you did punch someone in the face for me... No one else has ever done that for me before. Anyway, that's when I knew. I know it was pretty fast. I've always made stupid decisions quickly-wait, you're not a stupid decision! I just mean I jump in without thinking-like all of the time. And I'm generally pretty stupid. This isn't helping is it?" Anna held one hand to her head as she ordered her thoughts. Elsa leaned up and gently pulled her hand back down.

"Carry on," She murmured gently which caused Anna to give her a weak smile in return.

"You hung out with me even though I was a total loser. You stuck up for me. You didn't care what everyone else thought. You were so strong," Anna let out a sigh. "Even if you didn't feel strong inside you made me feel safe. Then on our last night camping you were so patient and so careful. Over the past four years I really tried to move on. I've had other lovers and one night stands but none of them treated me like you do. Your love was so unconditional and gentle. So yes, the sex is fucking amazing."

Elsa was both blushing from embarrassment and glowing from pride all at once. She supposed if there was just one thing in her life she could get perfectly right, satisfying Anna had to be a pretty damn good one.

"But I'm not completely shallow, though that is a pretty big factor in my list of 'how awesome Elsa is'. You're also totally selfless. I know your parents weren't exactly strapped for cash when they fostered me, but your mother told me it was you who made them do it. I also figure the reason you left was because if you didn't I would have done. I would have been homeless or in the care system. You gave me somewhere safe to stay. Sure, it wasn't exactly a functioning home after everything that had gone down but you made it happen all the same. You always kept me safe." Anna paused to breathe.

* * *

Even after all of her admissions Anna had been acutely aware Elsa hadn't repeated _those three words_ to her. Anna was well aware she had been overusing them to compensate. Anything to stop Elsa from running away again.

 _I can be patient. I can wait for as long as she needs._

"I'm using too many words again, aren't I?" Anna pulled Elsa back into the bed so she was tucked into her shoulder. She wouldn't let go of her in fear of her crumbling to dust.

"No. It's nice to listen to you," Elsa said contentedly, her erratic pulse finally calming.

If Elsa wanted more Anna-talk that was an easy thing to provide, especially with the topic of nostalgia. Anna set up all of the best memories in her mind. She'd make Elsa remember all of the good times they had. She'd prove to her that there were so many more to come.

"Do you remember that time we broke into the cinema?" Anna asked but abruptly paused as she felt Elsa stiffen beneath her.

"Not a good one? I found out you really hated horror movies that day. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to start with that one."

 _You are such a dork. Of course she didn't enjoy that. Even if holding her hand and cuddling for two hours had been the best moment of your life up until that point._

"No." Elsa looked up and Anna came face to face with those blue eyes. She waited as Elsa summoned up the courage to continue. "I was scared was because the movie was completely terrifying, I mean it had clowns in it. Breaking in to see that was a terrible idea, but I also thought I was going to freeze the whole cinema at every jump scare. You thought they had broken air conditioning, remember?"

Anna cocked her head as she thought back. Like a light bulb being lit, her face brightened as she joined the dots up.

"That's why it was freezing in there? That's why you gave me your jacket." Anna slapped a hand to her head. It all suddenly made so much sense.

"Elsa, I am so sorry. I can't believe I dragged you along and almost made you create a blizzard in the cinema. Wow. It really sounds crazy when you say it out loud."

"It's ok. You were there. You never realised it but having you there kept me calm. So thank you."

Anna's heart swelled with pride. Wanting to help and actually helping were two very different things but this gave her the hope she needed. She had made a difference. She could do it again. Elsa needed her.

With renewed conviction, and a steady arm around Elsa's waist, Anna asked a question she wasn't sure if she should have brought up. "Every other time we've tried to talk you've run away. I assume it's because you knew you'd make a storm. Why isn't there one now?"

Unlike her usual outbursts where she just allowed her mouth to run away with whatever it pleased, she had been holding this back since Elsa had awoken. Initially in worry that talking about it would somehow make it happen. But as the conversation had progressed it had been clear it wasn't like any discussion they'd had before.

Elsa took her time finding the words to describe it and Anna didn't mind. She took Elsa's hand in her own and threaded their fingers together.

"...I think I've fallen so far this past week that I've hit the bottom," the honesty in her reply was brutal yet welcome. "I don't care if the world knows. All that matters is that you know."

Anna squeezed her hand in comfort. Anything to remind Elsa she was in this for the long run.

"Will... will you show me?" Anna asked.

Elsa looked up and met her eyes. The glint of fear flashed but Anna didn't back down.

"I don't want to hurt you. And even if I wanted to use my power I don't even know how."

Anna was surprised by the admission. She supposed it made sense. If Elsa had perfect control over what she could do there wouldn't be this terror of accidentally unleashing it. But she did use it at will in Weselton's basement car park...

"You were so confident during our getaway," Anna stated, watching her reaction carefully.

"I was terrified," Elsa clenched the hand Anna held. "The way they shot Olaf. What they would have put you through just to make me-" Her jaw tightened. "I channelled every emotion and my power just happened. I killed people, Anna. I felt their bodies break under my ice. I'm a monster."

Anna watched as Elsa withdrew into herself again. So much guilt. So much regret. It was heartbreaking.

"No, that's not true," Anna took her chin in her hand and forced Elsa to look her in the eye. "They were shooting at us. You did it in self defence. You did it to save people. A monster wouldn't feel regret or remorse. A monster wouldn't suffer the way you are. You understand how much of a responsibility your power is. That makes you the best person to have it. Even if life is hard and you haven't mastered them yet, so many superheroes need to take time to learn what to do. You're a superhero Elsa, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially not that voice in your head." Anna hoped she was being direct enough. She wouldn't let her drown in the darkness.

Elsa gave her a quizzical look moments before her hand trailed across Anna's chest. Anna let out a gasp of surprise, not understanding quite what was happening until she looked down to see Elsa's index finger tracing the Batman logo on her t-shirt.

 _Christ, warn me next time._

"I just don't know how," She murmured, still poking the logo. Anna was certain by this point the woman was doing it on purpose. That contact was setting off a desire she didn't want to explore again just yet. Well, she would have loved to have explored it but Elsa had barely woken up. _Is that too soon?_

"Then we'll watch a ton a movies and TV shows. The answer has got to be in there somewhere. I think we both need some time to relax after the past couple weeks."

Anna held her close, stoking her back gently. There was so much she wanted to confront Elsa with but for now this was enough. Just them, together alone.

"Anna...?" Elsa asked after long minute of silence. "You've been here for the best part of four years. Why do I have a new bed? It wasn't even old when I left." Anna opened her mouth to reply but Elsa didn't stop. "Have you been sleeping in here?"

 _So accusing._ "No, Your Majesty. I have not been using your bedchambers," she put on her best mock posh voice she could manage. "Though it is the best room in the manor. You get the sun all day in here."

"So you did sneak in here."

"Well, maybe just once or twice when your parents weren't looking." Anna grinned but it faded as soon as it came.

"You kind of froze your old bed. After you passed out in the car you got a fever and just froze _everything_. Half the manor was covered in frost."

"I did _what?_ "

"Wow, I suppose you wouldn't remember, being unconscious and all. I stole a thermometer from the library," Anna paused to face Elsa seriously. "Your family keeps a lot of weird stuff in there you know. It's like a treasure trove for the most random things. Anyway, I made it -10 degrees Celsius. Do you know how cold that is? Not as cold as a freezer but I still needed 5 pairs of socks."

Elsa was face-palming beside her. "I froze half the manor? Please tell me I didn't kill mother's indoor garden," she groaned.

"Yeah, you kind of did."

Elsa pulled the duvet cover over her head and mumbled some inaudible things.

"Hey, she was fine. Don't worry," Anna said soothingly. A muffled response came from beneath the sheets.

Anna tapped her hand on her side as she considered her next move. She couldn't allow Elsa to feel bad for every little thing. No, that just wouldn't do. Like a predator stalking its prey, Anna slowly and carefully slipped under the covers. With careful precision she nestled herself right up against Elsa, before breaking out into an almighty tickle attack.

"A-Anna-" Elsa gasped as her body was assaulted. She fought back but her lover was too fast. Anna grinned as she tore soft laughs from Elsa's throat. It had been too long since she'd heard that sweet sound.

"There will be no mercy from the caped duvet dragon!" she declared as she leapt to her feet, duvet thrust around her neck as a makeshift cape. She truly looked ridiculous.

"You dork." Elsa rolled her eyes.

 _Always so proper._

Elsa almost looked away in disapproval but she didn't have time. Anna had already belly flopped onto the bed and Elsa barely had the time to roll out of the way.

"You could have crushed me!"

"And you would have enjoyed every second of it," Anna murmured, already moving on top of Elsa and pinning her down onto the bed. She had her right where she wanted her.

Elsa was still wearing that prim and proper expression. The very one that Anna always found so antagonising, like she was too good to be fooling around like this. It was a challenge, and one that Anna would win.

She leaned down and kissed Elsa with all of the love and devotion from the depths of her soul.

 _I'll save you from yourself, I promise._


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 - You are enough**

Elsa drifted in and out of consciousness. While in Anna's arms she felt the most safe she had ever felt in years. No nightmares. Nothing could harm her here. Not even the voice in her head.

Memories of what Anna had done to her just hours earlier warmed her. _She loves you_. Accepting it had been difficult at best. How could someone love her when she couldn't love herself? Anna had been so sincere. So _loving_. It was unreal.

Elsa was pulled out of her lucid dreaming by the distant sound of voices. Anna's sweet tone was like a lullaby. The words were muted but those musical notes were enough to give Elsa all of the reassurance she craved. She had believed Anna had been whispering that honeyed song to her but the sound of a second, all too familiar voice drew her back to the real world.

"-speak with her. Alone." Elsa caught the tail end of the words.

"I really don't think she's ready," Anna was protesting quietly but firmly.

"Anna," Iduna said as patiently as she could manage.

Elsa sat up slowly, causing both the women to pause in their conversation. Elsa caught her mother's eye and was lost in the whirlpool of emotion within then.

She hadn't faced her mother since leaving that day. Voice mails and emails didn't do the pain Elsa had inflicted on her justice.

 _Too late. I have to do this now._ Her mind may have been groggy from the sleep but it was sharp enough to know this couldn't wait, for either of them.

"Thank you, Anna," Elsa murmured, squeezing her hand beneath the sheets. She could already feel her cheeks redden. Being caught lying in bed with Anna... _so inappropriate_. And then she remembered that awful tape. Iduna knew everything anyway. It was no less humiliating.

"I can stay if you need me," Anna leaned in to whisper. Elsa gave her a forced smile in appreciation as she rubbed her thumb across her palm. She wished Anna could stay forever but having her present wouldn't be fair on any of them.

"No. I'll be fine," Elsa promised her, putting on the bravest face she could manage. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her mother. Seeing her family again had been a distant dream she had spent so many years longing for but after everything... Her heart was hammering in anticipation for the moment they were alone. Her mother's judgement weighed heavy.

Anna wanted to protest, she could see it in her eyes. After a moment of fierce internal debate, she leaned forward and boldly kissed Elsa's lips. Elsa's breath caught. It was a quick kiss, full of passion but over in a heartbeat. Anna pulled back, a sly smirk on her face. Elsa could have frozen her solid right there and then but the way Anna climbed out of the bed in nothing but the Batman t-shirt and a pair of panda printed panties, giving her a cheeky wink, knowing just what buttons to press... Elsa couldn't be mad.

She took several moments to return from the heaven that was the kiss; her attention torn between the anxiousness of her mother's presence and an unexpected heat from seeing Anna in panda panties again. _Do you even know what you do to me?_ She didn't take her eyes off Anna as she helped herself to one of Elsa's fancy dressing gowns.

"Call me if you need me," she said as she made a goofy phone gesture with her hand. It was dorky enough to get a genuine smile from Elsa. Her eyes didn't leave the redhead until she had left the room, and even then she lingered on the door; mind lost in a hazy daydream in the wake of Anna's love.

"Are you quite done?" Iduna asked with a raised eyebrow and folded arms.

Elsa snapped out of the haze and glanced up at her mother, and then away again, her face flushed. _She just saw all of that._ Elsa wanted nothing more than to bury herself under the sheets. There was no use hiding it anymore. Just where to even start? Anna? The tape? Her captivity? ...Her father? She opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't find the words. Regret warred with resentment. So much had happened, and she had denied involving her parents in any of it for so long she didn't even know how to face everything. Then again, she never really knew how to talk to her mother even before she left.

Iduna walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. With gentle fingers she tilted Elsa's chin to face her. She gazed up at her mother, surprised by how old she looked. Grey starkly highlighted her dark hair. The lines on her face were more prominent than Elsa ever remembered. _Just how much have I missed?_

"I knew as soon as you left this would be the only way I'd see you again." The pain behind those words made Elsa close her eyes in shame. She had hurt so many people and she was still hurting them.

"I'm sorry I didn't come home sooner," she choked in guilt, reaching forward to cling to her. Being this close it was impossible to resist that slither of comfort. "I'm sorry I missed everything. Father-"

"He was at peace." Her mother accepted the embrace and rubbed gentle circles on her back.

Despite all of the bitterness and anger she felt towards her parents, the way they brought her up and the way they shut her away, she still loved them. Tears streamed down her face as she let herself cry.

Neither of them spoke for several minutes. It was enough just to be home and safe in her mother's arms. The quiet was welcome.

Iduna was the first to pull away, albeit only a fraction. "If it had been up to me I'd have never let you go," she admitted, fingers gliding across Elsa's cheek. "Your father trusted you to make your own decisions. He had so much faith in you."

"And I disappointed him," Elsa whispered in guilt. It felt real now, being here at home and him not being here. Her father had always been the one to pick her up. He'd have been the one here talking to her, comforting her. The void was bigger than she could ever have imagined.

"You didn't disappoint him." Iduna pulled her tight. "You were everything to him." Elsa flinched at the words. "He was disappointed in himself for not being able to help you. He didn't see how much it hurt you to hold back. At least not until the end. Neither of us did. We failed you, and for that, we're sorry."

She struggled to listen to her mother's apology. Despite it being everything she so desperately wanted to hear it tore her to pieces all the same. She didn't know how to feel: happy they had seen things from Elsa's prospective? Sad it had happened too late? Or just angry that they had kept her isolated for so long?

"Please don't apologise," she murmured, unable to take anymore. Despite the warring emotions she couldn't truly blame them. If she could have controlled the ice none of this would have been a problem. It was ultimately her own fault in the end. "You and Father worked hard to keep me safe. It was an impossible task."

"You burden yourself so much," Iduna whispered. "If I could take that guilt away from you I would. It was as much mine and your father's fault. We were so caught up in unimportant things. It shouldn't have taken losing you to see that. You are enough; for me, for your father, for Anna and most of all for yourself."

Elsa sharply looked up, surprised at how easily she had read her. Then it occurred to her: she'd been out cold, literally, for god knows how long. _She's already spoken to Anna. She already knows everything._ She closed her eyes in shame. Despite her inner voice protesting otherwise, Elsa allowed herself to accept her mother's words. It was a nice feeling, one she wished she could have had from the start.

She leaned her head onto her mother's shoulder for a long while, enjoying the silent acceptance.

"...How could they have done this to you?" Iduna murmured, her hand tracing the marks up Elsa's arm. Elsa shuddered as her mind flicked back. She shook her head, not wishing to relive it.

The words of one of her captors resurfaced. _You're as goddamn stubborn as your mother._

Elsa stopped, looking up to face Iduna directly. "They mentioned you." The lack of surprise from her mother only confirmed it. " _How?_ "

Iduna hesitated, hand holding Elsa's arm tight. She didn't face her daughter right away. She was too busy tracing those awful red blotches that marred her skin.

"...I worked in research alongside Weselton before you were born. We had some disagreements and ultimately I resigned," she didn't deny it as she met Elsa's gaze. "When Anna said you were there..." Iduna's jaw clenched. "People like him were the reason we had to keep you so hidden."

Elsa would have laughed if it hadn't been so tragic. It had taken going through the ordeal for her to truly appreciate just how difficult her parent's position must have been.

"Am I safe here?" Elsa couldn't stop herself from asking. Yet again she was relying on her family to keep her safe. _When will you stand up and fight for yourself?_

Iduna nodded and relief filled Elsa's heart, not just for herself but for Anna and her mother.

"I've dealt with him." Elsa wanted to question it but something in the way her mother said those words stopped her. "There will always be others out there who will find out and who will try to use you. You will need to be strong because, as much as I wish it, you cannot live your life stuck in this manor."

Elsa blinked. The U-turn caught her completely by surprise.

"You've been living and working independently for four years. Your father and I didn't think it was possible. You proved us wrong," she paused, expression becoming more serious, "and I don't think Anna would want a life trapped here."

Elsa's breath caught.

"I always believed the girl was a passing infatuation. She represented the hope and freedom of the outside world. I naively assumed you'd grow out of it. I was wrong about that too. She is good for you. Don't let her go," the sincerity in her mother's words warmed Elsa more than she ever could have known.

"Thanks," she whispered while leaning into her mother's shoulder, grateful for this new slice of normality.

 _...If only it could have always been like this._ She closed her eyes and absently thought back to those days before she left: talking openly, dropping all of the pretence of maintaining this charade, oh how happy they all could have been. It was a distant dream, but maybe it could be a reality now.

"...Mother?" Elsa asked after a moment. "I'm sorry I killed your garden."

Iduna wore a look of surprise and then understanding dawned. "Anna told you," disapproval laced each word. She sat back while looking Elsa over in concern.

"I wasn't going to tell you right away but now you know, you know," she sighed.

Elsa's shoulders sagged gloomily. The weight of her lack of control hung heavy.

"It's given me the chance to refresh the garden for the first time ever. I've ordered a variety of replacements. If you'd like you could assist me in planting them," Iduna offered.

Elsa knew her mother could see through her as easily as she could see through a sheet of glass; as if atonement would somehow ease her guilt. Yet, unlike with her father where she had frequently followed him around learning everything he did, as a child Elsa had never been involved in her mother's hobbies. It was both a scary and tempting offer.

Even as thoughts of failure haunted her, she nodded in agreement. She would be strong. No matter what she broke, no matter how many times she caused destruction, she'd make sure she would fix it.

* * *

"You really weren't kidding when you said she had a mansion," Kristoff said as he cooked up a storm at the stove. "This kitchen is like a dream. I can't believe how many toys are in here." His eyes were sparkling as he set up the hand blender. "Have you seen how many settings this thing has?"

With her dressing gown sleeves rolled right up, Anna was furiously kneading dough.

"I know, it's pretty incredible," she agreed with a smirk. She could remember so clearly the excitement of first entering this house so many years ago with Elsa. It was like a treasure trove full of secrets... That novelty wore off pretty fast after Elsa left.

"And you never cooked much in here?" he asked her in disbelief.

Anna wore a sad smile as she continued to vigorously put her all into the dough. This house had never been a home, at least not to her. As safe as it had been, she had never felt free. Maybe it was her own fault. Perhaps those constraints were what she had placed upon herself and not what her foster parents had insisted upon. Somehow being here now, after knowing everything about Elsa, it was like it wasn't the same grey place. The house was full of colour... or maybe it was just Anna seeing nothing but brightness in her future.

"I rarely spent time here," she admitted. "I was too busy spending as much time away from here as possible," she sighed. "Being reminded of your almost-girlfriend at every turn was enough to drive anyone insane."

"I would say I could imagine it, but it's just so out there; I really can't," he admitted as he stirred his soup.

She caught him glancing at her with so much empathy. _Please don't pity me._ She couldn't say the words out loud. _I know things were bad back then. Worse than bad. But I have Elsa now. After everything we're back and together. Things will be good now_. She smiled warmly to herself with renewed conviction. The butterflies in her stomach filled her with nervous excitement.

"I wouldn't expect you to get it," she chatted lightly. "I know it's not conventional."

"You can say that again," Kristoff grinned.

Anna smirked back as she put her dough to one side to prove. Kristoff was rushing about like a professional and she followed his lead, chopping, slicing and dicing whatever he needed. It was therapeutic, and one of the few activities that really took her mind off of _everything_.

She closed her eyes as she thought back to university and the crazy cooking contests she'd have with Kristoff and their flatmates. They made a good team... before the competition descended into some sort of food fight. Those were some of the best days.

"So what are you going to do now you're with a rich sugar mama?" Kristoff joked and Anna let out an unladylike cackle. Elsa, her sugar mama. She liked the sound of that but she couldn't help but catch the serious undertone of his question. It was something Anna had tried to forget thinking about. She couldn't consider leaving Elsa to go back to university, as much as she enjoyed the freedom it had afforded her. Before this whole mess she had fantasised about them getting together, buying a place close to work and university. A perfect life from a perfect dream. Now she knew Elsa better, and she knew her girlfriend had a long way to go before she'd be ok. All Anna could do was support her.

"I don't know," she admitted with a sigh. "Honestly? I don't want to leave Elsa. We need to sit back and talk about it... but I'll probably stay here with her and help her get better."

Kristoff let out a hum as he continued working. Anna eyed him carefully, unable to work out if he was judging her or supporting her. Putting her life on hold for Elsa was an easy decision. It wasn't like her life was going anywhere exciting as it was.

"I would say I was surprised, but we did break into that lab. If that isn't dedication I don't know what is."

"Yeah, we totally did. Have you heard from work or uni about that?"

Kristoff's face hardened in a way Anna rarely saw and she braced herself for the news.

"I got a phone call this morning from my boss. They have terminated my contract but they won't be prosecuting me. It's going to be a pain to find another placement with it on my record, but at least I'm not in jail." His bittersweet smile did little to make Anna feel better.

"I'm so sorry," Anna murmured in shame. "I'm sure if there was somewhere else you wanted to get into Iduna could pull some strings. You were integral to saving her daughter after all, and trust me when I say these people can make things happen."

"Oh I believe it. She's already pinned me down about that. She said she'd give me a reference... and also a very generous cheque for my trouble. She was quite insistent."

"Everyone is pretty stubborn here," Anna was unsurprised Iduna had given him money. She had grown to accept her foster family believed money could fix everything. She knew all too well they considered it to be small change. It reminded her of how Elsa had bought her that top of the range mobile phone all those years ago.

"You'll fit in perfectly then," he said with a cheeky smile. Anna scowled before throwing a handful of flour at him.

* * *

Elsa watched from the door as Anna flew around the kitchen, taking orders from the stranger she could only assume was Kristoff.

They got along well; then again she was sure Anna would get along with anyone. She had gained so much more confidence since school. Back then she had trouble finding good friends but now Elsa knew she could charm anyone. _And she picked you._ It still didn't feel real.

She observed in silence for a long while. She could have watched Anna so carefree and happy all day long. That smile, the endless positive energy she had, everything about her was absorbing... addictive. Elsa wondered how she'd ever be able to make Anna happy.

"Hey, I think we have company," Kristoff elbowed Anna in the ribs. Anna looked up, caught Elsa's eye and immediately slammed her hands down on the bench. A puff of flour rose up and clouded her head in a plume ...and then she proceeded to descend into a coughing fit. Elsa was by her side in a heartbeat, gently rubbing her back until she could breathe again. Anna leaned into her, nose tickling her neck.

"Smells better," she murmured, giving Elsa only the briefest of looks before claiming her lips. "Tastes better too." Anna's cheeky smile only brightened as she pulled back.

"So rude. It wasn't my fault you were too impatient to let me brush my teeth earlier." Elsa's smile grew as she gazed down into Anna's adoring eyes.

 _This is real. She is mine._ The words sent both a thrill and a bolt of fear through her as she held Anna's fragile body in her arms. One slip up. One mood swing. Anna wouldn't stand a chance. _Keep it together. Don't throw this away._

"Well, your mouth has been dirtier," Anna shrugged mischievously. It took a good five seconds for Elsa to catch Anna's meaning. She almost dropped her lover as understanding dawned on her.

Kristoff cleared his throat to interrupt them before they could take it any further, and in one awkward movement, Anna leapt back up to her feet.

"Ah, right, Elsa, this is Kristoff. Kristoff, this is Elsa. You two haven't been formally introduced so here I am, doing formal introductions," Anna gestured at each of them, talking so much faster than she should have been.

"Thank you for saving me," Elsa held her hand out to Kristoff formally. She remembered him from the breakout. She felt a pang of guilt at just how much he must have risked. It was one thing Anna throwing herself into danger for her. They had known each other for a long time. They had history. But to have a complete stranger risk his life for her was insane, to say the least.

He wiped his hand on a tea-towel before accepting the handshake.

"Please, its fine, really," he assured her. "When Anna told me what was going on... I couldn't just ignore that."

"You could have. You chose not to," Anna said as she punched his arm playfully. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"Anna is right. I owe you so much. If you ever need anything please just ask," Elsa assured him.

"Rest assured, Princess, your mother has already had that chat with me," his reply was strained which only left Elsa amused. She knew all too well just how intense her mother could be. Of _course she'd take care of everything._ This is what it meant to be home.

"How are you doing? Was the talk with your mum ok?" Anna asked curiously, diverting the conversation. The way Anna was gazing into her eyes was full of devotion and concern. Elsa felt her heart skip a beat.

Elsa placed a finger to her lips and led her by the hand. Anna flashed Kristoff an apologetic smile as she was guided from the room. He nodded back knowingly.

Alone in the hallway Elsa threaded her fingers through Anna's. She wished it could be just them forever, and quickly realised that was now very possible.

"It went better than I could have hoped," she admitted, taking Anna's second hand in her own and rubbing circles over her palm. "It seems between you kissing me in bed and that awful tape, Mother is more than aware that you and I have... something."

"Only something, mmm?" Anna teased as she leaned up to give Elsa a deep kiss.

"Ok, more than something," Elsa said with a smile as she wrapped an arm around Anna's waist and pulled her flush against her. "We need to talk about this properly... but I want this. I want _you_ ," Elsa had to assure her she was as invested in this as Anna was. Anna's lower lip quivered and for a moment Elsa feared she had said something wrong.

Anna swallowed the lump in her throat as she rested her forehead against Elsa's. "I love you so much," the words were barely audible on her breath.

Elsa heard the phrase and braced herself. She knew she desperately needed to give them back to Anna but saying them aloud was so difficult. It wasn't that she didn't feel the same way, but admitting to it would open up a whole new set of challenges. _You've already given in to it. Embrace it._

Elsa opened her mouth to speak but the words caught in her throat. Anna gave her an understanding smile.

"It's happening quickly and you've been through a lot. Don't worry, I'm not in a rush," she assured Elsa gently before embracing her.

"And as much as I want to spend this whole day with you I need to finish cooking," she added, loathed to break the moment but she had no choice. She couldn't abandon Kristoff to finish prepping and cooking the dinner alone.

"It smelt delicious. I didn't realise you were so adapt in the kitchen," Elsa said easily, welcoming the change in direction of the conversation. Anna had been right; it was all happening so fast. Her heart could barely keep up.

"You haven't tasted it yet," Anna said with that goofy grin Elsa loved so much. "But after dinner, you and I-" she purred and it was enough to send a thrill through her. "-I'll prove to you I can beat that challenge you laid down at the Westergard Winter Ball."

Elsa went beet red as the memory resurfaced. She did challenge Anna, but she never expected her to really have the chance to have a shot at it. Just the idea of Anna's hands all over her... worshipping every inch of her body... With that thought in her head it made it impossibly hard to let go of her. But somehow Elsa did.

"I'll hold you to that," she murmured, already feeling the desire burning between her legs. Anna knew exactly what she had done. Elsa was sure it was why the woman looked so frustratingly smug as she skipped off back to the kitchen with a spring in her step.

* * *

The drawing room smelt as it always did; of freshly polished wood and lavender. Elsa's fingers danced along the intricate carvings on the fireplace. A fire hadn't been lit here in years, there was no need now the house had central heating, but her parents still kept the spare logs beside it. She smiled at memories of hiding them around the house. Not so much an inconvenience for her parents, more a headache for poor Kai. _How often I used to bully him into my games. He never did used to tell tales to Mother and Father._ She had been lucky. She was certain she'd have gotten into big trouble if they found out about half the chaos she caused him. _Of course, I wouldn't have caused him such trouble if I didn't get away with it every time._

Elsa took her time taking in each detail as she walked around the grand room, pleased to note her deadly frost hadn't reached the greenery in here. Everything was as she remembered it. Even in the depths of winter the windows were still large enough to light up the whole room.

She paused when she reached a small round table by one of the windows. Out of everything in the room, this was what she both hoped and dreaded to see. Her hand brushed over the black and white squares of the chessboard. She was conflicted as to whether she was pleased her mother had left it out or annoyed it hadn't been packed away. After all, who else was going to use this now _he_ had gone? Even each piece was lined up with such care. There was no dust on the set. It was cleaned regularly. _What is the point?_

Squeezing her eyes shut, she wanted nothing more than to slam her fist through the thing. _Just one week earlier-_

"Oh good, you're here. I didn't want to discuss this right away, but time dictates I must," Iduna greeted her as she walked in. Having heard her mother's footsteps even before she entered, Elsa was stood straight and composed to greet her.

Kai followed with a tray of tea and cakes. Elsa found her mouth salivating at the sugary delights. Just how long had it been since she had eaten something sweet? _Anna doesn't count._

"Your tea, ma'am," Kai announced as he placed the tray down and began to serve two cups.

"And might I say, it is good to see the young Miss up and well," he turned to Elsa.

"It is good to see you again too," despite the formal attitude Elsa meant it. Despite her mother having aged years, Kai was exactly the same as he was four years ago, down to every greying hair.

"Thank you, Kai. That will be all," Iduna dismissed him. He gave a quick bow before taking his leave.

The sweet, floral fragrance was nostalgic. Home was the only place Elsa ever drank tea. She had always preferred the taste of coffee, but tea was her mother's favourite, and Elsa was never given the option of anything else. Not that she minded. Drinking tea with her family was just another thing she had missed.

"Would you like a game?" Iduna asked as she approached the chess set and Elsa immediately rebuked herself for not moving away from it.

"No, it's fine. I know you don't play."

"Oh, do I not?" her mother raised an eyebrow. "Who do you think played with your father before you learnt?" Being the stubborn old woman she was, she helped herself to a seat, and not just any seat either. She knew damn well she was sitting on Elsa's side.

"Fetch the tray, while you're up. I know it won't take me long to beat you but I'd still like to drink my tea while it's warm."

Elsa twitched at the challenge. _Fighting talk._ She could hardly back out now, especially when her reputation was on the line.

Without saying another word, Elsa pulled up an extra chair and placed the tray on it before taking the seat opposite her mother.

"I always play as white."

"Looks like you're black today," Iduna's reply was unsympathetic at best.

Elsa stiffened but swallowed any protests. It was odd, comparing her mother to her father. They were so alike yet so different. He never would never have dared to play as white. They had their routine. Elsa had to shake the memories away before she lost control of her emotions. Reminiscing on her father could wait. For now she had to win this match.

They played the first 30 minutes in complete silence, save for the occasional clink of a teacup being placed back on the tray. Elsa was impressed by her mother's fortitude. She was good, better than good. Elsa hadn't played in so long but she was calling upon every move she had been taught. It had taken her until now, after each move and strategy had been delicately unpicked before she realised that her parents had played together. Of course Iduna would have known all of Agnarr's moves. He would have taught her... or worse, maybe she taught him?

She tried not to show how rattled she was. The game wasn't over, not for a long shot.

"You are as serious as he was. Try to enjoy it," Iduna said as she sat back. Elsa looked up, surprised by the comment. She forcibly relaxed her muscles. It was only then she felt just how tense her body had been.

"I need to concentrate if I'm going to beat you," Elsa went back to reviewing the board with calculating eyes. "Which I will. Beat you that is."

"You will, one day," Iduna replied as Elsa moved. With just one tiny mistake, Iduna immediately punished her by sweeping her bishop across the board.

"Checkmate."

Elsa blinked.

"No," she breathed, standing up to get a better look. There had to be a way out.

"You're rusty. You should have seen that coming a mile away. I had you 7 moves back."

Elsa reviewed the board again. And again for good measure. Just how had she slipped through her defences so silently? Were the comments she made a distraction so she'd mess up? She looked up to meet her mother's eye. She wouldn't put anything past her.

Slowly, Elsa calmed herself. _Conceal. Don't feel_. She hadn't had to use those words outside of a storm for years, but she needed to keep herself level headed. As much as she wanted to demand a rematch and battle onward she couldn't let that rash stubbornness rule her. She had been taught better than that.

Slumping back on the chair in defeat, she picked up a slice of cake and turned her attention back to the matter of why her mother wanted to see her in the first place. Surely it wasn't to goad her into playing chess.

"What was so urgent that you had to meet me this afternoon, yet couldn't tell me before mocking me at chess?" Elsa asked with a sigh.

Iduna tensed and the way she held her composure made Elsa's stomach drop.

"Because I want you to hear it from me and not the tabloids," she replied as she sat back on her chair, teacup in hand, lips pursed in contemplation. Elsa consciously squared her shoulders and sat properly. It was an odd feeling, calling on all those lessons from so long ago. She had become so lax since leaving.

"When your father died, he left behind a very large fortune."

Elsa nodded in understanding. That was obvious. Her father owned a huge business. Of course he had a massive fortune. _Wow, I hadn't even thought about that yet. Just how much work has mother been fighting through? Stepping into a business of that size..._

"I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to sift through everything. I know I've probably missed so much but I'll help where I can. All you have to do is ask," Elsa promised her.

"Oh, my dear," Iduna wore a wry smile as she set the teacup down. "Your father didn't leave it to me. He left everything to you."

Elsa continued drinking her tea while nodding. And then she stopped, replaying her mother's words in her mind. She must have misheard.

 _He left everything to you._

She hadn't misheard. Snorting, her lungs constricted, forcing the mouthful of tea she was halfway through swallowing back up and out through her nose. In her choking, Elsa knocked the cup over. Iduna could only sigh as it smashed on the floor.

"I should have made you put that down before telling you," she murmured to herself as she waited patiently for Elsa to come to terms with the news.

Elsa was still coughing as she struggled to breathe; both from inhaling the tea and the panic that had struck her since hearing those words.

 _He left everything to you._

She held her chest, certain her heart would hammer itself out if she didn't hold it back. A storm had started and she couldn't stop it, not that she even cared to. She couldn't see past this revelation.

"Perhaps the choice of room was a mistake too," Iduna said idly as the wind and snow assaulted them. So much for the plants surviving in here.

"You can't be serious!" Elsa exclaimed as soon as she could talk.

"I am completely serious."

"But-he can't have-you're his wife!" she argued in anguish.

"Spouses can make their own wills," she said as if it were obvious. "He loved you, Elsa, more than anything."

In the blink of an eye the storm had stopped. Snow that had settled slowly thawed in a sparkling spectrum of colours. It would have been beautiful had Elsa even cared to notice it. She was blinkered.

"I loved him too..." Elsa whispered, touching her cheeks. They weren't wet. _Do I have no more tears left to cry?_

"I can't... I can't take over the company. I can barely take care of myself, let alone head a global business," her voice was as small as she felt. Wrapping her arms tightly around her abdomen, she withdrew into herself.

"You set up your own company and that's been doing well," Iduna said patiently.

"We have two employees! Father's company must have two million!" It was an exaggeration, she was sure. Even so, she didn't have the experience for what was being asked of her, let alone the people-skills.

"Believe me, Elsa, I agree it's the wrong time. I would prefer you to stay here and focus on your recovery. I know your father wouldn't have wanted things to have worked out like quite like this either but life doesn't often turn out how we expect. He wouldn't have left it to you if he didn't believe you could handle it."

Elsa balled her fists in frustration. How could her parents have so much faith in her after everything?

"You have options. You don't have to play an active role in the management of the company if you don't want to. You'll be a significantly large shareholder. We could appoint someone to represent you on the Board... but we both know that wouldn't have been what he would have wanted," she explained it all so calmly. Just how long had she known about this? Had her father always planned to cut her mother out? Elsa was still reeling. _How could he drop this on me? Mother should be the one to inherit all of this._

"...It was your father's wish for you to replace him as CEO, but I don't believe that was really his decision to make."

Elsa's hands caught her head before it hit the table. Taking deep breaths she tried to rationalise it like her mother was doing. She was right, Elsa wouldn't need to be involved if she didn't want to be... yet it felt like a betrayal of her father's wishes. He would have wanted her up front and fighting. _He'd want me leading his business into a new era, a bright future. How can I do that when I am so volatile? I could destroy its whole reputation within minutes if I let go of the ice._

It was an impossible decision.

"You have some time to think about it. There will be an annual company conference at the North Mountain resort in a few weeks time. I've spoken to Henry Westergard. We've agreed to wait until then before giving any solid response about what your father wanted for the company."

"Can't you do it instead?" Elsa asked desperately.

Iduna let out an audible sigh. "No. I'm sorry, Elsa. This is something you need to make a decision on. If you really don't want to do this I can organise the representative for you," she relented. "At least think about it."

Elsa let out a breath as gazed down at the chessboard.

* * *

Agnarr's knight glided across the board, taking Elsa's rook. She chewed on her lip as she watched him carefully. He gave away nothing. Sat composed and confident, she couldn't help but envy his strength. No matter how many times they played, nor how many hints and tricks he gave her, he was always one step ahead of her. She wished she could win just once.

"How do you always know what to do?" she asked with a deep frown. Wrinkles lined her forehead as she peered over the board again.

Agnarr took a long sip of his whisky before setting the glass down.

"You give yourself away with every move. You can't let your opponents read you. Conceal those thoughts and feelings. Don't feel them."

"Conceal it. Don't feel it. Like with the magic," she murmured while looking down at her hands; hands that could so easily freeze this whole room. She understood what he was saying, and Elsa had been working hard to keep her emotions in line when thinking about the ice but it was so difficult not to express that happiness when she came up with a good strategy or took one of his pieces. It was just as hard to hide the frustration every time he picked that strategy apart.

A warm hand on her own caused her to look up sharply. The contact was so unexpected that Elsa almost knocked half the pieces over.

"You've been doing well." Her eyes widened at the praise. "I've been doing this for years and you're only 14. There will be a day when you'll win every game. Probably the day when you take the company off my hands."

"I don't think that would ever happen," Elsa shook her head with a sad smile. She looked down in disappointment as he withdrew his hand. She knew she was too old to sit on his lap, but she wished she was a child again when it was both acceptable and expected to charge into his arms. Instead she sat restrained and composed, as a dignified young lady should.

"Why would that not be the case?" he seemed genuinely interested. Elsa chewed on her lip again as she considered just how much to say.

"You'll be working forever," she opened with a hint of playfulness. It was enough to draw a smile from her father. "...And by then I'll be married and have my own job. I won't have time to do yours too." Elsa hesitated, wondering if she had crossed some sort of line.

"I was hoping you'd continue the business, or at least pass it down to your children." Elsa kept her face neutral despite fearing her father could see right through her. Even at this age Elsa was sure of who she was. While she maintained the perfect pretence of a future family life she knew children wouldn't be in the picture. After all, two women couldn't have a child, at least not by natural means.

Elsa had to summon up all of the courage she had to face him head on and with conviction. "I want to forge my own path."

"You could. You'd have all of the money and resources to change whatever you wanted in the world. You may not have built it, but you'd have control over its future. Why spend a lifetime creating something never to actually have the chance to use it as you wish? I'm building it right now. By the time you get there it'll be ready for you to steer however you wish." It was a convincing argument, and not one Elsa had considered.

"...You were right, I will be working forever," he diffused the tension before Elsa had time to come up with the counter argument. "It'll be a problem for your children," he smiled and Elsa gave him a bittersweet smile in return.

"Yes... a problem for my children."

* * *

The memory was so vivid, as if she was reliving it at that very moment _. He always wanted this for me. Am I right to reject it? How can I not honour his final wish?_ The indecision tore her apart. In all of her years reflecting on those moments with her father she had never even considered him leaving everything directly to her.

She picked up her queen, wondering if her mother truly agreed with his choice. It was impossible to tell. Her poker face was as good as her father's.

Elsa played with the piece, feeling each detail, testing its weight. It was a good piece; versatile, the best piece on the board. She found it strange to think the king was so limited. The queen held all of the power.

"...Could we play again?" Elsa caught her mother by surprise.

"Are you sure you won't be too distracted?" Iduna raised an eyebrow.

"No... I think it will help me focus," she admitted as she placed the queen down.

"Alright then," Iduna nodded and began to set the board up again. "But I won't go easy on you."

Elsa smiled at the warning.

"I wouldn't expect any less from you, Mother."

* * *

 **A/N: Oh boy, these chapters are getting longer and longer. As is this whole project. It'll probably take me a good few weeks again for the next update. One day (when I have time in my life again) I'll go back and read this whole story through and see if it even makes sense!**

 **Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing so far :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 - You're weak because you reject yourself**

 _Chess. Noun. A board game of strategic skill for two players, played on a chequered board on which each playing piece is moved according to precise rules. The object is to put the opponent's king under a direct attack from which escape is impossible (checkmate)._

Elsa had played the game a thousand times. She used to be good at it too. Used to, being the operative phrase. She had learnt after the first match that her mother was a formidable opponent. She needed to revise every strategy, yet even after trying various tactics she was still unable to win.

To Elsa's surprise, she hadn't found herself growing frustrated. Iduna had only occasionally goaded her since the first match, but even so, Elsa felt a quiet zen as she gazed across the board. Aside from her morning with Anna, it was the most peace she had felt in forever.

 _Focus._ It was a contradiction finding it easier to think about the important things when her mind needed to be so sharp. She shouldn't have been thinking about her problems at all while concentrating on the game but between each move she was reminded of every memory she shared with her father. It took three games; three defeats, for her to realise she had already made her choice. The real problem she needed to work out was how she wouldn't screw everything up. She would accept her father's wish for her to play an active role in the company. In truth she had no choice. She'd never be able to live with herself if she didn't at least try. The more she reflected on it the more sure she became. _I'd only be on the board. I can do that much for him._ It did course raise more complications about the rest of her life, but for that she'd need to sit down with Anna and Olaf.

 _Olaf... I hope you're doing well._ Worry gnawed at her but she was reminded of Anna's reassuring words that morning. He was ok. That was the important thing. _I still can't believe those idiots risked it all for me..._

Iduna moved a pawn at the start of the next match. Elsa had considered requesting a change in side considering just how well her mother was playing but she decided against bowing to superstition. She would win with her father's set. During the last three games she had tried everything she could to be unpredictable. _I am always so slow to learn._ She scolded herself. With the conviction of her decision came the conviction of this match. Iduna knew all of her moves because she had played with Agnarr. Reversing it, that meant she also knew most of her mother's moves. She had been caught off guard during the first match and had been trying to be too clever since. She would play this game relying on what she knew. Reverse psychology: it would be unexpected because it was too obvious.

It took every fibre of her being not to show her happiness as her mother, so predictably, was lured into every trap. Elsa sacrificed piece upon piece, letting Iduna believe she had the control. It was only when Elsa had her cornered did her mother show her irritation, and perhaps a spark of admiration.

"I was complacent," she murmured, knowing however she moved Elsa was a short few moves away from winning.

"Or perhaps I was just too good," Elsa couldn't hold back her smirk any longer. "Check."

"One out of five," Iduna was not shy to burst her bubble as she drew out the inevitable. Elsa didn't mind. In just another few moves she had her mother caught in a checkmate.

"It took you long enough to start using your head instead of your heart," Iduna spoke as she set up the board again. "You'll need to hold onto that if you're to make it in the world."

The weight of the advice knocked any joy Elsa had from winning straight out of her. _I'll need to be stronger than I've ever been before. Do I even have that strength?_

Elsa opened her mouth to speak but the words that followed weren't her own.

"Dinner is-" in one, fluid movement Anna had crashed into the drawing room, somehow tripped on her own feet and landed face down on the floor. "-ready," her voice was muffled by the plush carpet beneath her.

In the blink of an eye Elsa was by her side and helping her up.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," Anna paused, coming face to face with Elsa. "...but you can keep helping me-I mean-please keep helping me," she said with a goofy grin as she looked up brightly.

Elsa was held captive by those teal eyes for only a moment before she forced herself to snap out of it. She had already embarrassed herself in front of her mother enough today.

"I have a prior engagement this evening so I must decline the invitation. Perhaps another time," Iduna said as she rose to her feet. Her eye caught the shattered remains of the teacup and with nimble fingers she reached down and picked up pieces, placing them on the tray.

Anna's eye flicked between them all and the teacup. "Are you ok?" she asked Elsa in quiet concern.

"Oh, that. It was an accident," Elsa murmured. By the time she had risen to her feet to assist her mother she was done.

"If you are on the way to the kitchens you can take the tray," Iduna gave Elsa little choice as she simply handed it over to her. Elsa accepted with a small smile. _Still as bossy as ever. Four years ago I'd have found it grating. Now it's almost endearing._

"Where are you going later?" Elsa asked curiously, not able to think up a single thing her mother could possibly be doing that would tear her from home.

"Nowhere that concerns you. I will be home late but Kai will be here. If anything happens, no matter how small, call me."

 _Call me._ Elsa repeated in her mind. And then it hit her. Elsa hadn't actually had her phone since... _That snake has it._ She cursed, recalling last using it in the park. Hans was the only logical suspect. All of her contacts were on that phone, along with much of her work. Explaining that to Olaf was not going to be fun. At least Kai would have her mother's number should anything happen in her absence.

Her interest in Iduna's evening engagement was piqued by the fact she refused to let on just what she was doing. _And why isn't Kai going? Surely she doesn't think I need babysitting._

"Kai isn't driving you?" Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"Contrary to popular belief, I can drive myself," she replied with mild sarcasm. Any grand plans of having Kai give her the juicy details of her mother's moonlight meeting completely fell through. _Maybe he still knows..._

"Anna, keep her out of trouble," Iduna glanced over to her before looking back at Elsa.

"I'll see you tomorrow." There was a moments hesitation before she leaned over and gave Elsa the briefest of kisses to her forehead. Elsa almost dropped the tray at the show of affection. Her mother was trying. Elsa clung to that knowledge.

"Don't worry, she is in safe hands," Anna promised, and to prove it she wrapped an arm around Elsa's waist. Iduna looked anything but convinced.

"Good. Let's hope I don't return home to find her with food poisoning," she said dryly, and Anna's face instantly dropped. Elsa let out a small chuckle.

"Be safe, I'll see you tomorrow. I..." Elsa braced herself to say the words. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Anna was distracted throughout dinner. She knew when Elsa had said the words she hadn't meant them like she would have done if speaking to her, but even so, it just reminded her of how desperate she was to hear them.

 _I love you._

Three small words that would have meant so much. Anna forced herself to let go. It was an insecurity that she wouldn't allow to ruin her time with Elsa.

Some hours later and back in Elsa's bedroom, Anna stepped out of the walk in wardrobe in one of her girlfriend's casual t-shirts and a fresh pair of panties. She had tried on some of Elsa's silky nightgowns but they just felt far too fancy for her.

"Don't you have your own clothes here?" Elsa raised an eyebrow from where she sat at the table. If Anna hadn't known better she would have assumed her girlfriend wasn't enjoying the view.

"Yes, but I like your clothes more," Anna said with a grin. She walked over and pulled her chair around to snuggle up to Elsa.

On second thought, Elsa really wasn't enjoying the view. Anna rested her elbow on the table and propped her head up as she gazed at her. She took a long moment to examine her girlfriend. It wasn't unusual to see her staring so intensely into her glass, mind caught up in her own thoughts. Anna had always known her to be serious about every little thing. After everything that had happened it was unsurprising to find her so tense. But for reasons she couldn't quite pinpoint, this seemed worse.

"Are you ok?" Anna wrapped an arm around her, squeezing her close. Anything to reassure her she was here and wouldn't leave. Elsa sat in contemplation for a further few minutes before letting out a sigh. She turned to face Anna.

"One would think after everything we've been through that it would be over. Or at least we would have time to sit back and just... work through things. To come to terms with it all," Elsa took a breath and Anna waited patiently, giving her all the time she needed to collect her thoughts. "When Father passed away..." she hesitated. Anna squeezed her hand reassuringly. "...He left me everything. I own the largest share in Arendelle Corporation. I have the power to influence the direction the company takes in the future."

Anna wasn't sure why the revelation surprised her. It was no secret Agnarr adored his daughter. She had learnt quickly after moving here just how complicated and strained the relationship had been, but also just how much he cared.

"Wait-" the penny dropped. "Shouldn't your mother-"

"-If my father hadn't left a will then yes, it would all have been her responsibility," Elsa said more sharply than she had intended.

"But he left it all for you," Anna hummed. It would complicate things, but in the end it was just another hurdle to overcome. And she was sure they could overcome it.

"Ok, so what are we going to do? Move to the city? I could be your PA." _I would love to be your PA._ Anna stared dreamily into the distance as she imaged all of the things they would get up to: all of the non-work related things-

"No, Anna," Elsa shook her head, exasperated. Anna was about to give a tort reply about how she'd make a damn fine personal assistant but she managed to hold back the words before they blurted from her mouth. _Be patient._ She repeated the words in her head. _She doesn't need you arguing with her._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," she apologised quickly, pressing a hand to her temples. "It's hard. Being here... without Father," Elsa took a shaky breath. Anna waited, giving her all the time in the world to find a voice for those feelings.

"Everything is the same. How can everything just carry on? How can I just replace him? How is that right? How is that fair?"

Anna gave her a smile filled with sadness and understanding. She knew exactly what Elsa was going through. Anna had been through it too, after all. Perhaps one could even say she'd been through worse. And that was why she knew she had to be here. She would never wish for another person to go through what she had been through alone.

"The world isn't fair." She pulled Elsa in close and kissed her forehead. "And life does just carry on. You can't stop time. You can't go back. But you can remember them. You can honour their memory by living your life. Be true to yourself, respect what they wanted but walk your own path. I believe they are up there, watching from somewhere. I don't really know if it's heaven, or just the next life. But I like to think we all have our guardian angels. I think your dad would definitely be your angel."

It was enough to get a genuine smile from Elsa.

"That's a poetic way of looking at it," she murmured. "So full of hope. I'm envious of your light; your optimism," she admitted while casting Anna a side glance. "I know what I need to do. My mind tells me that plain as day. And yet my heart feels like its tearing me apart. How do I stop this feeling?"

"You're lucky." Elsa turned sharply to Anna in surprise at the statement. "You don't need to be envious. I'm here to give you everything." It was a promise, and one Anna intended to keep.

Just seeing Elsa so tense and so at war with her feelings was enough to anger her. This awful habit she had of bottling everything up had to end.

Slowly, Anna moved so she straddled Elsa's lap. She took her lover's face firmly in her hands.

"You can't just not feel. You can't have happiness or love without pain. It's the trade off. Pretending your pain isn't there is the same as running away."

She gazed into Elsa's eyes and saw the cogs in her mind turning at the comment. She supposed no one had ever spoken to her so frankly to her before. Or perhaps they had, but not in the manner that Anna was. She knew what Iduna and Agnarr were like from spending years with them, and she knew from being friends with Elsa just how distant they all had been. How much they all relied on being proper, isolated, _unfeeling_. Elsa would only have gotten that from her parents. Elsa had so few friends outside of her home to give her the support she so desperately needed. All at once Anna felt an incredible pity for her lover. _No wonder you're like this_. _You never knew anything else._

"I am so weak," Elsa murmured. Anna's hands tightened.

"You're weak because you reject yourself, not because of your pain," Anna said all too fiercely. "Everyone hurts. Everyone makes mistakes-" Anna had to let go before she lost herself to this fire. It was ironic that Elsa believed her to be so full of light... so pure. In her mind she was anything but those things. It was because of all of the hurt and mistakes that she was able to understand just how important it was to hold onto hope. That didn't make her purer than anyone else.

She stood her ground from where she sat, faces inches from each other. At that very moment she was sure she could see right into the dark void of Elsa's soul. Insecurities mixed with fear and loss. Anna was desperate to ease her burden, but she wasn't sure how.

...And then she saw something else. Something familiar. _Herself_. Anna sat back, startled at how much Elsa's eyes looked like her own in the mirror. It was a look she hadn't seen for so long, but she knew it all the same.

Anna scrambled up from Elsa's lap and stepped around the table. She couldn't make sense of why this had affected her more than everything else so far. Perhaps that was untrue; nothing could match the revelation in the park, but somehow seeing herself in Elsa frightened her more than she believed possible.

"Anna?" Elsa questioned, clear concern in her voice.

"I'm ok. I just thought I saw a ghost," she replied evasively while twiddling with a braid.

"A ghost?" Elsa asked sceptically.

Anna took a breath. Elsa didn't need her burdens right now. She needed stability and support.

"Yeah. Your house is so old it's probably haunted," she replied with as much humour as she could muster. She chewed on her lip as she glanced at Elsa raising an eyebrow. To Anna's relief she let the matter drop.

"Do you mind if we just head straight to bed tonight? My head is killing me."

"That sounds great," Anna said almost too enthusiastically. _Why do I say things I don't mean?_ She silently berated herself. What she really wanted to do was strip Elsa's clothes off and explore that delicious body.

 _She has so much to work through. We both do._ She sighed inwardly as old feelings resurfaced. She rolled her shoulders in an attempt to shake off those emotions. She had let go of them long ago, they had no business haunting her now.

Anna picked up her glass and gulped down the dregs of her cider. She caught Elsa giving her that familiar look of disapproval.

"It would go flat if I didn't finish it. I can hardly waste it," Anna shrugged with a playful smirk. Elsa said nothing, not that she needed to with that piercing gaze. She shook her head before getting up and heading into the en suite bathroom. Anna let out an audible sigh as she watched Elsa's hips sway, her loose blond hair trailing down her back. It was doing nothing to help her hazy mind.

"Can't life just be uncomplicated?" she murmured to herself before flopping onto the bed.

* * *

Despite Elsa having had the day to rest up she felt like she hadn't had any real rest at all. There had been brief moments to collect her thoughts but the shock of being home and the revelation of her father's will were taking their toll.

It wasn't easy dragging herself up from the depths of her mind. She had all but given up hope in that laboratory, but now was different. Her mother's words were ringing true in her mind: _Anna wouldn't want a life stuck here._ She needed to pull herself together. If not for herself then for Anna.

So as the gorgeous redhead slept soundly beside her Elsa crept out of the bed. She gazed down at Anna's peaceful face in the moonlit room. _I really was so lucky to catch you._ She dared not speak it aloud in case it woke her. With a small smile she pulled her dressing gown around her and headed out.

Elsa took silent steps as she walked barefoot through the halls. The feeling was nostalgic. Exploring the hidden depths of her parent's home had been one of the only things she had been able to do as an inquisitive child, and there had been plenty to explore. Tonight however wasn't meant for exploration, at least not of the manor. Elsa exited the house through the kitchen and stepped out into the gardens beyond.

To anyone else the icy stone path would have frozen their bare feet but Elsa found comfort in the chill. It was too cold for snow. She was acutely aware of the fact even if she wasn't consciously aware how.

"...To be the superhero Anna believes I can be," she murmured aloud, removing her dressing gown so she could fully embrace the winter. She tossed it onto a chair as she walked in just her nightwear further from the house.

The vast lawn extended outward in every direction. It wasn't as much space as Elsa wished for but it would suffice. She just prayed she didn't destroy her mother's hedges and flowerbeds beyond. That was a wrath she'd rather not face in the morning.

Flexing both hands, Elsa dived headfirst into the magic that she so frequently did everything she could to avoid thinking about. The first step was to embrace it; at least that was what she had made up in her list of ways to control her power. It wasn't an extensive list, nor was it well informed. She really had no idea how to begin approaching the subject of maintaining a regular control over whatever it was that burst free every time her emotions went haywire, but this was as good a beginning as any.

A familiar cold rushed through her and instinctively she held it back. _How can you test your limits if you hold back?_ The mental pep talk wasn't filling her with any confidence. _What if I destroy the garden? The house? Anna?_ It took every ounce of her bravery and courage to open the dam and release the storm.

She didn't need to open her eyes to see the whiteout surrounding her. She could feel every snowflake as if it were an extension of her body. The storm around her was fierce but Elsa pushed it further and harder with tentative thoughts. Her fear of unleashing it only seemed to make it grow. It was far beyond the gardens now; no doubt reaching out to the surrounding woodland and streets.

With a clenched fist she tried to pull it back.

"Dammit," she said through gritted teeth. "What use is it if I can't stop it?" She muttered as she slumped to her knees. What did it matter if she froze the whole surrounding area? Now Weselton and Hans knew about her power it could be announced publicly at any moment.

"I can't just change what I feel at the drop of a hat. I need to find another way."

* * *

The rattle of heavy rain against the window disturbed Anna's sleep. She rolled over, arm reaching over to pull Elsa tight. Eyes snapped open when her hand hit the mattress.

"Elsa?" She called in a panic, wide awake in an instant. _She wouldn't run away again. She wouldn't._ Anna repeated in her mind as she leapt to her feet and skidded into the bathroom. Empty. The roar of the wind outside drew her attention to the window. It dawned on her: that wasn't rain. It was snow. _Elsa._ Anna had never felt so much fear in her heart. Elsa was suffering, of that she had no doubt.

She threw herself at the window and squinted to see beyond the blizzard. In the darkness it was impossible. _What if she has left?_ Anna couldn't let herself believe that. Not after she finally knew everything. She had accepted her and all she had done. She couldn't go. It wouldn't be fair. Anna was already running down the hall, pulling her jacket on as she did. Going outside in the height of winter in one of Elsa's storms was crazy but she wouldn't let Elsa leave her. Not again.

By the time Anna made it out of the house and into the gardens the storm had all but dissipated. Her eyes went wide with disbelief as she gazed up at the clear sky. A rainbow of colours shimmered across it but not in the way the northern lights did. It was almost like a rainbow at midnight. Slowly she looked down to see Elsa, back to her, across the lawn, arms furiously waving snow from the ground and into the air. The balls exploded into silent fireworks, altering the rainbow of colours in the sky as they rippled through. The fragments stayed suspended though, only moving at the flick of Elsa's wrist. It was like watching someone throw paint across a canvas.

 _There is no way._ Anna blinked in disbelief. She stood silently, watching in awe. A breeze of frigid air made her shudder but she couldn't head inside. The scene was too mesmerising to miss. _I can hold out a few minutes._ She resolved as she subconsciously stepped forward.

* * *

Elsa slumped forward, barely staying on her feet as the familiar feeling of exhaustion hit her. Usually the emotional exhaustion hit her faster and harder than any physical reaction but here out in the open air alone her mind was as free as a bird.

She dragged her legs forward with effort. It was like every cell was contributing to her power and they couldn't replenish fast enough. It hurt, but in a good way. Like she had run five laps around the estate. She idly wondered if her power was like a muscle, the more it was used the stronger and more durable it became. It was just another thing to add to her list.

Closing her eyes, she allowed the wind and cold to consume her. Standing in a garden of ice and snow, beneath a sky she had created, was quite possibly the most serene thing she had ever experienced. The soft sound of frozen vines from nearby trees ringing out like wind chimes echoed out across the garden. For the first time felt beauty in what she could do. It gave her hope that perhaps there was a future for her.

"Wow, Elsa-" Elsa snapped out of her serenity at the unmistakable voice of Anna. She spun around in a flash. "-this is stunning! Beautiful!" the bubbly redhead said in awe as she approached. Elsa flinched back as Anna went to touch her.

"Anna, you shouldn't be out here. You'll freeze," she told her seriously, taking one step back for each one Anna took forward. Elsa held her hands back; afraid a stray spark of magic would somehow leap out and harm her.

"Anna, please."

* * *

"I'm fine," Anna shrugged her concern off, not missing the fear alight in Elsa's eyes.

Anna was shivering hard but she hadn't been able to tear herself away from Elsa. She had never seen her so alive and _free_. It was as beautiful to see her as it was to see what she was crafting. Watching the sky come alive had been captivating. And yet standing within all this beauty she couldn't take her eyes off of the woman before her. And now all of that beauty had been marred by that fear.

"You're not fine," Elsa said exasperated.

"Ok, so I am pretty cold," she relented. "And I'm also pretty sure I had a heart attack when I woke up and you weren't there."

"You thought I had run away," Elsa slapped a palm to her head. "I made you worry."

Anna smiled. Oh boy did she worry, but seeing Elsa like this was worth every moment of that anxiety.

"You did, but we're both here now. And just look at what you've done!" Anna threw her arms out wide. "This is incredible, Elsa. You literally painted the-" Anna took one step forward, slipped on the ice and landed straight into Elsa's arms. _Why am I such a klutz? Gods, here she is all elegant and I can't even stay upright..._ Anna blinked as she looked down to where Elsa held her.

"Wow, Elsa you're warm. _Hot_ , even," she said in disbelief. "You're not getting a fever again are you?" she reached up and pressed her hand to Elsa's forehead.

Elsa blinked. Before she could open her mouth to speak Anna continued. "You're not fine," she mimicked the way Elsa had said it earlier. Elsa's face contorted to one of mild irritation and Anna grinned at the reaction.

Anna leaned into the nook of Elsa's neck and inhaled that sweet perfume she loved so much. She knew very well Elsa didn't have a fever. Her skin wasn't clammy and she wasn't shivering. Her chest heaved, no doubt from the effort of creating so much ice with precision, but she seemed well.

"Don't overdo it. I don't want you to get sick again," Anna murmured.

"I know," Elsa gave her a delicate kiss through her hair. "But I have to test my limits. To control this I have to use it."

Elsa was right, of course. Anna knew that much but even so, the thought of seeing Elsa so unwell did more to chill her than the frigid air.

Anna shuddered as Elsa's burning hand drew down her back. Why was she so warm? And why did Anna not feel the slightest bit cold in her lover's arms?

"We should go inside," Elsa's voice was little more than a whisper.

Anna held onto her to prevent her from standing, torn between wanting Elsa to continue and wanting her to take a break. _I guess it is pretty late._

"Alright. But promise me you'll make this for me again sometime. I really enjoyed watching it," Anna pulled back enough to look up into Elsa's eyes. She caught the flickers of hesitation.

Elsa could never resist those puppy eyes and Anna knew it. "...Fine," she sighed. "Now come on, inside before you freeze."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this one out. I've been finding it harder to sit down and write recently but I am still working on this story.**

 **I originally had a full on Let It Go moment here, but it was just too cliched so it got partially cut.**

 **Elsa being hot to touch might be a little contradictory considering how she's always cold, but my physics brain couldn't help but think the transfer of warmth to Anna would make Elsa appear hot. It scrambled my brain too. Made up magic is complicated.**

 **Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and followed this story so far.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 - You have Christmas trees growing in your garden?**

Nothing smelt better than bacon in the morning. Rashers and eggs sizzled in the frying pan as Elsa cooked up breakfast for the family. It felt surprisingly normal considering just how not-normal they all were.

She smiled as she cracked the eggs and added them to flour and milk. Anna loved pancakes as much as she did. Just the thought of her messy morning hair and ecstatic face was enough to give her a spring in her step as she walked around the kitchen beating the mixture to the rhythm of the Christmas tunes playing on the radio.

 _I did well last night._ She couldn't help but be proud of how she had maintained control over her power. Even better, Anna believed in her. It wasn't that she ever doubted Anna's support, but now the moment had passed and she could reflect on it she could truly appreciate the innocent awe her girlfriend had as she gazed upon Elsa's creation in the sky. She wasn't afraid. She didn't hate her. _It's insane to think this is real._

Perhaps a good night's sleep was all she needed to feel better. She hadn't felt so positive in what felt like forever. _Or maybe it's just the endless love Anna showers down on me._

"You're up earlier than me. That's quite an achievement." Elsa jerked up to see Kristoff working the coffee machine.

"Want a coffee?" He asked as he fumbled through the cupboard in search of the coffee beans.

"Just a shot of espresso, thanks," Elsa replied as she glanced back down at her cooking. "Would you like breakfast?"

"I couldn't say no to bacon pancakes," he said with a grin. That hadn't been part of Elsa's breakfast repertoire, but she figured it would be easy enough to combine it. She idly wondered if Anna would like bacon pancakes for a change as she pulled another packet of bacon from the fridge.

"I didn't think you'd still be here," Elsa admitted while casting a fleeting look over to Kristoff. She had never really thought much about him, let alone about his family arrangements. Did he even have family? After everything that had happened she was all too aware just how complicated families could be.

"You can stay," she quickly added. "After everything you did for Anna... for me... You're welcome here anytime." For the first time she looked him over properly. Beneath the scruffy blonde hair and bright chestnut eyes there was kindness, but also caution. Subconsciously Elsa steeled herself and pulled her guard up.

"Thank you, but I am heading home this afternoon," he replied with a smile. "I wanted to make sure Anna was ok first," he hesitated while glancing over at her. "And I wanted to talk to you alone."

"Oh?" Elsa raised a brow, dread settling in her stomach. She turned back to whisking her pancake batter as she prepared herself for the conversation.

"I figured it'd be nice to talk to you about Anna while she is in bed."

 _Not a talk he wanted to have while she is present then._ Elsa rationalised it in her mind: Anna didn't have anyone else to protect her. Of course her closest friend would take on that role. _I'm not the only one who wants to keep her safe._

"I think it's amazing she's got you," he opened with positivity; classic. Elsa could not help but brace herself for the 'but' to follow.

"But –" There it was. "Anna's always needed someone. Even after me and Sven found her she was always looking for the next person. We kept her out of trouble as much as we could –" a large grin spread ear to ear as he relived what Elsa could only have assumed were some of his best memories. "- but you know how it is with her."

 _Do I know how it is? She was always only ever mine... even when she wasn't._

"The way she looks at you like you complete her world, she's smitten with you. I think she has been waiting for you since you left her."

Elsa held back the involuntary shudder her body was attempting to make. She had known Anna was waiting for her so when Kristoff spoke it aloud why did it spark so much guilt?

"She's a generous girl. She'd give you her whole soul if you let her. Just..." Kristoff paused as he handed Elsa the small espresso. She took it with one hand, still not facing him. She wasn't sure she could while he was talking so frankly about Anna. Distracting herself with whatever she could, Elsa poured the batter into a pan and focused completely on breakfast.

"...Make sure you don't take it all and leave her with nothing." The implication that she was completely responsible for Anna's happiness was a weight she could only compare to the burden of her powers.

"I'm not telling you this to upset you or scare you off. I can tell you care about her. I think you're a good calming influence on her, with the added bonus that she actually listens to you."

 _Are we still talking about Anna?_

"You have the power to make her the happiest girl in the world, but you also have the power to shatter her. Kind of makes the ice magic seem easy to handle now, right?" he tried to inject some humour. Elsa couldn't even fake the smile beneath the weight of responsibility. She didn't need this, not with so much else going on.

 _How do I hold all of this together without dropping something?_

"Sorry, maybe it was a little much. I just figured I wouldn't get another shot at this for a while," he sighed as he leaned back against the kitchen counter with his coffee. Elsa turned the gas off on the bacon and continued on the pancakes, doing all she could to not let her fear spill out into the kitchen.

"Anna's not going to leave you. There is no way she'll come back to uni. I'll keep in touch with her of course but by the time I see you guys again I expect you'll be in some swanky flat in the city." He just kept talking.

 _Pull yourself together. You won't be able to run away when you're in an office talking to the board: Talking about what Father would have wanted. How will you achieve anything if you can't do this?_ The slap of reality was what she needed to turn to finally face Kristoff. Concerned brown eyes gazed back and she knew at that moment he did not trust her. Who could blame him? She had messed so much else up in her life.

"You're right, she probably won't go back to her studying," Elsa conceded but stood her ground. "But I will give her the world. Know that I won't break her heart." _Not again._

Kristoff took a minute to digest her flash of conviction. "...Alright," he nodded, patting her back. "That's all I wanted to hear," and with just a few words the tension had been diffused.

He helped himself to the bacon pancakes and headed out to the dining room. Elsa blinked, and then noticed he had taken the second plate too. Her lip crept up in a small half-smile, not begrudging him having breakfast with Anna before he left. They were friends after all; Elsa would have her for the rest of forever. She shivered at the mere idea of it, but it wasn't as crushing as it had been moments earlier with Kristoff. It felt good. It felt _exciting._

With a spring back in her step, Elsa plated up the remaining breakfast and dropped it into Kai in the drawing room.

"How are you this morning?" Elsa asked him brightly.

"Very well," he said with a gentle smile, putting his newspaper down to accept the plate. "And you seem much sprightlier this morning."

"I had a good day yesterday. I learnt Mother plays chess, and I even won a game. Anna is here with me and last night I actually used my power without it destroying anything." The pride was undeniable.

"Ah, that explains the winter wonderland outside," he with a knowing grin. "Have you tried to make a skating rink?"

Elsa stared at him in disbelief. She had half expected to be harshly told off for being so brazen with her magic, not that Kai was ever the one to discipline her. Even so, she had just assumed he followed the same hard line of thinking as her parents.

"I can't say I've ever tried," she admitted slowly, trying to work out just how she could do it. The garden where she stood had frozen over with ice last night but it hadn't been intentional. _Would it even be flat enough? What about the snow? Could I just sweep it aside?_

"Your old ice skates are still in the loft. Give it a try sometime," he suggested with an innocent wink. Elsa's heart swelled with a childlike joy.

"I will make it happen, so make sure you have your skates too."

* * *

A sweet, buttery smell wafted through the room, followed by the unmistakable scent of freshly cooked bacon. Anna sat bolt upright in bed, almost head butting Kristoff in the face.

"Woah! Is that how you greet Elsa in the morning?" he joked, holding out the pancakes. Anna's eyes were like saucers as she took the plate.

"Elsa enjoys every second of it," she said instantly, mouth full already.

Elsa had made these. No one else could cook pancakes as well as her, not even Kristoff. _And she put bacon in them._ Her mouth was transported to culinary heaven with every mouthful.

Kristoff raised a brow but did not question it.

"I know it's pretty rude of me to barge into your room. I just wanted to catch you before I head off. It's Christmas Eve after all. I need to get back to my family."

Anna snapped up. "It's Christmas Eve?" she asked in disbelief. The days had all melted into one long mess that she had completely forgotten just how close to Christmas it was.

"No, of course! That's fine. I'm sorry I dragged you away for so long. Thank you, again. For saving Elsa and probably me. I would definitely have gotten myself captured without your help - earlier than we did, anyway," Anna said quickly, all at once feeling terrible for keeping him away for so long. And for ruining his whole internship, and every other thing since... and before.

"It's fine, really. It was quite the adventure," he grinned. "You can call me, you know. Whatever happens, I'll be there," he promised.

Anna was almost glowing in gratitude.

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you." Anna leaned over and hugged him, holding the plate in one hand and wrapping the other around him. She buried her head into his shoulder and let out a contented sigh.

 _You're the best._

* * *

As promised, Elsa was on her hands and knees in the conservatory as she planted various new plants alongside her mother. The woman had been impossibly stubborn about her nightly activities and Elsa had long since given up probing for possible reasons. It wasn't unusual for her parents to keep their secrets. In fact Elsa would have gone as far as saying it was the quality they had excelled the most at.

She took a brief glance at her mother; dark circles beneath her eyes, carefully concealed by makeup were the only sign she had been out late last night. Aside from that she had acted as if it hadn't even happened.

Elsa sighed silently to herself as she positioned the herbs within the patch before sitting back and wiping the sweat from her brow. It had been a bigger task than she had anticipated. Her biting frost had killed almost everything in here aside from the single tall tree that loomed over a rocky water feature: the only flash of green left in a room which used to be filled with so many colours and smells. The bitter guilt for causing even more hurt for her loved ones could only be erased by helping to fix it.

Even as they worked Elsa peered over every now and then and caught the care and focus her mother put into every action. She had always admired Iduna's dedication to the room. It had always been so carefully maintained, never a dead leaf, never a sick plant. It was so pristine.

She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath of the sage and mint before her. As a child Elsa recalled stealing books from the library and lying on the couch below the foliage. She grinned when she thought of those sinful books. _I should show them to Anna. She'd love them._ Just the idea of reading something so _naughty_ together with her excited her to no end.

"Less daydreaming, more work," Iduna called over without even looking around. Elsa straightened with a blush, certain her mother could read her mind.

She crawled over to start on another flowerbed. Elsa didn't know much about botany but she was sure her mother had only given her the cheaper herbs and flowers; the ones easily replaced if she was not gentle enough... or if her cold touch withered them.

"May I ask you a question, Mother?" Elsa asked as she diligently worked.

"I am waiting."

"What made you want to make the garden inside? I understand that you'd usually be able to avoid the seasons... the frost..." She caught her mother roll her eyes.

"For the final time, Elsa, the plants will grow again."

"Sorry -"

"- Stop apologising. It does not befit you."

Elsa wore a wry smile. She was growing to appreciate her mother's sharp rebuttals. She knew Iduna would have respected her far more if she just had some conviction in herself but it was difficult when she felt so responsible for everything. It was something she knew they'd likely never understand each other on, yet talking to her had been so refreshing.

"You asked why I wanted the garden inside," Iduna continued. "It was primarily so I could grow species not local to this region. I pick each one carefully for many reasons. Some are superficial; colours, smells. I want the room to look pleasing," she hesitated and Elsa caught her debating whether to carry on. "...The second reason is because I also enjoy grafting and fusing seeds and plants; creating hybrids, playing with genetics."

Elsa closed her eyes in shame. All she could think was how she must have destroyed her mother's life work.

"Dominant and recessive genes were discovered through crossbreeding plants. I find it all very fascinating. I am sure it will bore you though. You were always more like your father; a natural talent with computers and coding."

"No, really, it's interesting. I never really knew quite how into this you were. I always so caught up in myself I never saw anything else," Elsa didn't pause long enough for Iduna to chastise her for the remark. "So, seen as you're a professional in the world of genetics, what about me? What do you think I am? You said I was born with this power. Do you think I get it from you or Father?"

Iduna took much longer than Elsa thought she'd take to reply. Elsa hadn't spent nearly enough time researching what her origins could be. She had idly looked into some scientific, pop-culture and conspiracy theories but she'd never seriously considered any of them. Since learning so much more about her mother and her past she couldn't help but wonder just how much research she had done into it.

"...I don't know," she let out a breath as she replied. "But I am grateful you weren't using that magic when I was carrying you for 9 months. You could have made things incredibly uncomfortable."

It was such an expected response Elsa almost laughed. It didn't surprise her to find her mother not knowing. If her parents had known surely they'd have done something more than hide. Surely they'd have reversed whatever had caused this curse.

"I wanted to ask your opinion about something... about me. When I was in that lab -" Elsa didn't stop working or talking despite catching her mother pause. "- they said I could do life changing things with this magic: freezing polar ice caps, bringing water to area affected by droughts and who knows what else. Big things. Should I be working towards things like that? Trying to save the world?" She hadn't had much time to reflect on it properly since escaping but now she was free and back in her old life it had been impossible not to look to the future.

"Elsa," Iduna began patiently, moving away from her plants and over to Elsa so she could kneel beside her. "You are one woman. Even if you made a blizzard just how far can that stretch? A few miles? Perhaps further, but not far enough. What those people wanted was to replicate what you can do. Once they can do that they can amplify it and most likely sell it."

Iduna must have caught the disappointment in Elsa's eyes because she continued. "You could do so much more with the company. You have all of the power and influence of a global brand at your fingertips."

Elsa balled her hands into fists as she looked away from her mother. The challenge of being responsible for her father's legacy still weighed heavy.

"I know it's hard. Focus on saving yourself before trying to save the world." Iduna leaned in to kiss her cheek before moving to the hanging baskets.

Elsa took the breath she had been holding. She was right. She couldn't do everything at once. Anna, the company, her magic; she needed to take it slowly.

"Mother... Thank you."

* * *

Elsa had been free from working on her mother's gardening for little over half an hour when she saw the taxi out the large bay window. She was on her feet within seconds, hand touching the glass. A flicker of frost danced between her finger tips and the surface as she anxiously stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to get a better view of the car.

"Is it him?"

"Yes," Iduna confirmed it without even looking up from her book. It was all Elsa needed to hear. She was out of the room in a flash.

Racing through the hallways, Elsa skirted past Kai and burst out of the front door. She looked up, heart stopping in her chest. Olaf's half-wave and small smile greeting her moments before she bounded into his arms.

"You're ok." Elsa was almost in tears as she held onto him.

"Of course I'm ok. You saved me with your magic remember?" he asked with a warm smile.

Elsa pulled back just enough to meet his dark blue eyes. He was alive. Hell, he survived a gunshot. Her hands tightened on him, mind unable to quite believe this was real.

"I feared I had made it worse," Elsa whispered, withdrawing one hand to graze ever so lightly across where his wound was. She couldn't see it under his coat but she could feel it as if it was happening at that very moment: the thunder of the gunshot, her hand slick with blood, the air heavy with iron, her magic pulsing at her fingertips. Elsa held back the shudder as she clenched her fist to keep the ice at bay.

Not seeming to notice, or perhaps he had and just wasn't afraid, Olaf took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Ice is pretty bad for bodies," he said, but his face grew into a wide smirk. "But apparently whatever you can do is special," he paused. Elsa's breath caught, hanging on every word. _Could I have truly killed you?_ She wasn't sure why she was surprised. It was exactly what she had feared. After all, she had killed before all too easily; all too painfully.

"It turns out your ice did a pretty amazing job sealing the wound. The hospital was astounded it didn't do any damage. In fact, they believed it promoted my recovery. When they asked me how it was applied I told them I was part of a clinical trial. I didn't want them bothering you."

 _I healed you?_ Elsa looked down at her hands in disbelief, mind racing with possibilities. _Is that how I kept Anna warm after the lake and in the snow? I did it all without even thinking? Could I do more? Could I actually use this power for good?_

"It does however mean the police took a statement. You know, with gunshot wounds having to be reported by the hospital. Hopefully it'll just lead them to Weselton..."

Elsa shuddered at the mention of his name, a waterfall of haunting memories crashed down on her. She straightened and took a breath as she regained her composure. She didn't need to think of him, Hans, what had happened or the potential for the police to come investigating. She was home, Anna was ok, Olaf was here: everything was good. She couldn't allow that to be spoilt. There were so many other things she needed to focus on; to be strong for.

"What I mean to say is thank you for saving me." The sincerity of his words almost appeased Elsa, but the gratitude only served to remind her just how this whole mess had started.

"Don't be ridiculous. You were the one who risked everything for me. You shouldn't have done that you know. You were stupid to think you'd get away with it," Elsa told him sternly. "Don't ever do it again."

His smirk in response was anything but the reaction she was looking for. They both knew he'd do it again in a heartbeat. Hell, she'd have done it for him. _You really are my best friend._

"...Thank you," she murmured begrudgingly, still holding him. She meant it, but that didn't mean she approved of it.

"You're looking well. Coming home was a good choice," he said, eyes only on her. Elsa didn't miss the fact he stopped there. _A choice you should have made sooner._ She knew it was true. How much easier their lives could have been... How much less regret she could have carried.

"Yeah. Things have been... surreal, at best," she admitted, unsure just how she could possibly explain everything to him. Where to even start?

"It's ok." He assured her. "You don't need to explain."

"I really do," she sighed. "Are you alright to walk? I'll give you a tour of the gardens while I tell you about everything that's happened these past few days."

Olaf cheerfully linked his arm with Elsa's.

"Sounds perfect. Lead the way."

* * *

"So you and Anna are like, 'official' now?" Olaf asked, grinning ear to ear. Elsa had to stop herself from face-palming. Out of everything she had explained to Olaf, which was pretty much all that had occurred in his absence, she didn't think that would be his highest priority. So much for her stolen phone or the fate of their company.

"Yes? No? I don't know," she groaned. "I just want to take things slowly. Everyone here has been so supportive and understanding. It's been so... freeing to be myself in front of Anna and my mother." Elsa gazed up at the clear sky, embracing the cold and allowing it to permeate through her whole being. She took strength from it before continuing. "But I don't know how easy that'll be in a room full of executives and in front of the press. I'm not naive enough to think that stepping into this role will just be ignored by the world."

"You love Anna though." It was a statement, not a question. Elsa wished she could have had his conviction. Thinking it and saying it were two very difficult things. It was as if telling Anna would chain her down: chains that would not easily be broken if circumstances forced them apart. More accurately, if Elsa's magic became too much of a risk.

"I know you think otherwise, but you deserve happiness too, so don't hold yourself back," he told her while giving her a side glance. She pretended not to see it as she kept her gaze firmly fixed upon the limitless blue above. She wouldn't argue with him about what she did and didn't deserve. It was a familiar question, one that she knew the answer to all too well.

"Speaking of which," he brightly changed topic before Elsa could sink down into the dark depths of her mind. "What are you going to do with Snowflake Studios?" he asked, looking the most serious he had since arriving. Elsa took a moment to pluck up her courage before replying.

"I assumed I would give it to you -"

"- Not a chance," he flat out refused. Elsa turned to face him indignantly.

"Why?"

"Because I can't make anything on my own. I'm not asking you to give up your family legacy or anything crazy but Snowflake Studios is yours too. I don't think it would be right for you to give it up. Even if it's on the back burner for a while, we'll get back to it one day when you're bored of attending meetings and bossing people about." It was enough to get a genuine smile from Elsa. He was right. She hadn't really wanted to give it up. It just seemed so selfish to hold onto it when she couldn't devote anytime to working on any projects. _Then again that contract with Hans means we can't even work on our big project without him anyway, and that certainly won't be happening._ The thought of losing all of that work was heartbreaking. She had no doubt Hans would fight them every step of the way if they tried to continue it solo.

"We'll essentially be on hold for however long it takes me to settle into my new role. What will you do in the meantime?" she asked, already resigned to the fact he had won.

"Oh, I don't know. Probably sponge off of my rich best friend until I find someone who'll hire me." His smile widened to a smirk. Her eyes narrowed and she did everything she could to restrain the smile tugging at her lips. She would never begrudge supporting him but that didn't mean she would let him know that.

"I suppose it would be rude of me not to give you somewhere to sleep," she sighed as if it were some sort of chore.

Elsa did not think it possible, but Olaf's toothy grin widened even further.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down."

* * *

"So I have a plan for this afternoon, and I know I'm probably over stepping some sort of line here, as it's not my house and all... even though I lived here for almost 4 years, well technically more like 3, or maybe even 2 -"

"Anna," Elsa interrupted.

"Right. Rambling. What I was going to say was we should get a Christmas tree. Its Christmas Eve, Elsa, and look at the house!" Anna threw her arms wide. "There's nothing in here to even signify it's the holiday season."

Anna watched as Elsa took in the suggestion for an impossibly long time. She waited with bated breath as she saw the cogs turn in her girlfriend's mind.

Ever since Kristoff mentioned heading home for Christmas Anna had, had the itching need to celebrate Christmas. It had always been her favourite time of year and she clung to those happy family memories where she was a child. She longed to have those memories with Elsa.

"She has a point Elsa, when was the last time you decorated a tree? I know you never had one at your flat," Olaf said knowingly from where he sat on the sofa. Elsa shot him a scowl.

"Then it's settled! ...Right... Where can we get a tree on Christmas Eve?" Anna asked. The silence that followed did nothing to reassure her about this plan. She pulled her phone out but halfway through her internet search Elsa piped up.

"We have some in the garden."

"You have Christmas trees growing in your garden?" Anna asked dumbfounded.

"Well it is a tree and we have many trees," Elsa didn't seem to comprehend just how crazy Anna found this.

"Huh. Maybe this plan will work."

* * *

"You know, I never understood the tradition of decorating a tree. I mean, we technically murdered this innocent sapling which, might I add, has spent many years growing up to be this big. And now it's in the house and we're dressing up its corpse in lights and bright colours," Olaf chirped with far more joy than Anna felt the topic warranted as he wrapped lights around their tree.

When the trio had awkwardly found the tree on the far side of the estate Anna had demanded that this had to be the one. It was perfect: its height, its fullness, its colour, all of it had been just right. Carrying it back had been a challenge, but now it was up in the drawing room it was looking positively glowing... and about a foot taller than it should have been. Even in Elsa's manor with its high ceilings the tip of the tree reached the ceiling.

"Now you put it that way it is rather creepy," Anna agreed morbidly. Shaking the feeling off, she rummaged through the Arendelle family's box of Christmas decorations. It was a wonder to find so much here. In all of her years here they had never once decorated the house for Christmas. She had long wondered if Elsa had even celebrated Christmas with them, but this box proved she had.

"Oh, wow," Elsa leaned over Anna and plucked out a homemade star out from the box. "I haven't seen this in forever. I had no idea it was still here." Anna couldn't help but smile as Elsa examined the tatty star with fondness.

"Father cut it out for me. I distinctly remember the cardboard being too hard for me to cut," Elsa said with more warmth than Anna had ever seen in her when discussing her family.

"I can't say I did it much justice," Elsa was still smiling as she held it up. It spun on the string, gold and silver glitter sparkling in the light. "But Father still put it on top of the tree regardless."

"Then I believe it needs to go back up there." Olaf pinched the star from her hand, scooted up the ladder and placed it right at the top. "Perfect!" he said as he leaned back to admire it.

"It looks good," Anna agreed, giving Elsa a glance. The sincere pride radiating from her was enough to give her more joy than anything else, and yet she couldn't help but look down at the box of decorations in her hands. The last time she had decorated a Christmas tree had been with her family.

 _I'll make it look perfect. Not just for Elsa, but for you too, Mum, Dad._

* * *

Elsa froze as Iduna entered the drawing room, and Anna couldn't help but catch the tension between them both. _Of course Christmas was a family time for them both. We should have invited her to join us._ Anna lamented. It was impossible to tell if the woman was mad. She hid everything so masterfully beneath a wall of stone.

Iduna looked over the tree with an appraising eye. "You put the star on top," she noted, turning back to Elsa. "It looks good. You have an eye for decorating," she praised her. Elsa seemed to take the breath she had been holding.

"It was actually Anna who did most of the decorating. Olaf and I were more like moral support," Elsa replied, giving Anna a quick side glance. Anna smiled, nodding along happily, and then froze, realising just what Elsa had said. As much as she'd have loved the praise, she really didn't need Iduna's unyielding gaze.

"Your choice of colours is delightfully tasteful. Who knew you were so proficient at decorating?" It was a rhetorical question, Anna knew that much.

 _Why does everything that woman says sound like the opposite of a compliment?_ She didn't dare voice it aloud.

"Thank you, I think?" she murmured. Elsa's sharp elbow to her ribs forced her to say it with more meaning. "I mean, thank you, yes, thank you!"

Iduna nodded in appreciation; at least Anna took it as appreciation. Who knew what she was ever thinking.

"Oh and Elsa, don't pin anymore snowflakes to the ceiling. I don't want to have to re-plaster it," she told her firmly and Elsa straightened.

"Yes, Mother," she replied quickly as if she was a child. Anna snickered beside her, which earned her a second elbow to the ribs. It was worth it.

Anna could barely contain her laughter the moment Iduna took her leave.

"Yes, Mother," she mimicked Elsa.

"Don't give me that. You're absolutely petrified of her," Elsa said as she shoved Anna. She couldn't deny that.

"So, erm, do you think she'll notice if we stick these ones up?" Olaf asked from across the room. He held up a selection of paper snowflakes, along with a paper snowman.

"Why don't we tape them to the windows?" Anna suggested, as if this was the best idea she had ever come up with. She used to do it at home all the time. She could just imagine how amazing a paper snow scene would look on the massive bay windows of Elsa's manor.

"No," Elsa shook her head with a chuckle. "The sticky marks will drive her even crazier. Pin them to the ceiling with the others. She'll be furious but she won't say anything. I'm pretty sure I could get away with murder and she'd swallow it."

"Ooo, Elsa, lying to your mother! That'll earn you some negative karma points."

"It's all for the greater good though right? Our first Christmas." Anna blushed, all at once finding Elsa standing far too close to her. Her breath caught as she looked up into those cerulean eyes. So much love gazed back at her.

 _Our first Christmas._

She could envision it already. The two of them waking up tomorrow morning, spending the morning in bed together, the afternoon having dinner and opening presents – not that either of them had, had the opportunity to really think about presents. Gifts aside, the dream seemed so perfect.

 _I need to get Elsa a present. A belated birthday present and a Christmas present._ She frowned as she tried to work out just what she could possibly conjure up at this late hour.

There was nothing for it. She'd never find a present so late in the day, but there was one thing she could give her... Anna didn't hold back. She reached up and claimed her lips in a kiss so fierce Elsa stumbled back.

"Save it for the bedroom!" Olaf called out. "No shenanigans until we are done."

"Such a taskmaster," Anna smirked, not releasing her arm from Elsa's waist. "Where did you find him again?"

"Oh, I don't know. He was some weird person I met online."

"Are you sure it's safe to meet people on the internet? What if they end up stalking you?" Anna questioned with the most serious face she could muster.

"Mm." Elsa glanced at Olaf, seeming to consider it. "You're right."

"I am here and I can hear you!" Olaf called over flatly as he stuck more snowflakes to the ceiling.

"I think you need to be safer when talking to strangers online," Anna totally ignored him.

"I'm fairly certain I am safe with you to protect me." Elsa leaned down to give her a peck on her nose. It sent a thrill through Anna.

"You'll always be safe with me." Anna didn't care that it was a reckless promise to make. She may have had no power or money to fight Hans and those who sought to hurt Elsa, but she damn well intended to try.

"My hero," Elsa's silky voice whispered ever so quietly in her ear. It wasn't what Anna had been waiting so desperately to hear, but it was enough for now. She was almost shaking as she thrust Elsa into a tight embrace.

 _I'll be your hero, forever._

* * *

The sound of rain pattering against the window was the only thing that broke the silence. It was fitting; Anna couldn't help but think as she looked over her old room in the dead of the night. It was as she remembered it, lonely, dreary and so impossibly grey. Despite all of Elsa's good intentions this room had never been her home. It never would be. A smile played on her lips as she thought about just what would constitute a home: Elsa's room. _Their_ room. In just a few short days it had turned into something they shared. _Anywhere with Elsa._

Anna opened her wardrobes and sighed at the sight of the boxes. Even now she couldn't bear to sort through the belongings from home. Everything her parents had left behind... She slammed the door shut, clenching the handle. Even after four years it was too soon.

 _Elsa is the reason you're gone._ She rested her head against the wardrobe door, her whole body trembling as her heart fought with her mind. _But Elsa is my reason for living._ She could not help but lament just how cruel fate had been.

Taking a deep breath Anna opened the door again. She summoned up all of her bravery to pull the boxes out. She knew exactly what she was looking for, despite not knowing just which box her prize was hidden within.

Nerves held her back as she opened the lid of the first box. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she threw her hands in and rummaged about. Old clothes and toys were discarded to one side as she fought her way through the mess.

"Why didn't I pack these properly?" She murmured to herself but she couldn't honestly curse her old-self. Tears pricked at her eyes as she remembered walking back into her flat. Everything had been like any other day. The laundry had been ready to be loaded, three balls of yarn still sitting on the table from where her mother had been teaching her to knit, her father's tools still strewn across the living room floor where he had been fighting to find everything he's need for the trip only a few weeks earlier. They were all hollow memories, like she had been nothing more than a wisp in those short, final hours she was home.

Anna had never packed anything so fast in her life. Everything was thrown into storage. There was no time to make decisions. She'd keep it all until she was ready to face it. Today wasn't that day.

Holding back all emotion she reached in again. "Please, please be in here. Don't make me search every box," she murmured as she reached down, fingers desperately fumbling between old cassettes and VHS videos. The feel of something soft made her heart race. Anna immediately hoisted it up.

Her eyes lit up with life again as she looked over the scruffy doll.

"Storage didn't do you any good at all," she muttered aloud as she placed the doll down and dove in for the other. Having retrieved them both she hastily thrust the lid back on the box, stuffed it in the wardrobe and slammed the doors shut.

Sliding down the door until she hit the floor, Anna rested her head back and took a moment to catch her breath.

She held up the dolls and looked over them with a solemn smile.

Anna thought back to the days when she had knitted with her mother. She had felt so stupid when she had made these; two dolls made from scratch over so many weeks.

 _Will Elsa really appreciate this?_ She could not help but worry as she brushed the ginger hair out of one of the dolls faces. It was made in her own image, although after all these years Anna wasn't convinced it really resembled her. Eyes flickered over to the second doll: flowing blonde hair, icy blue dress and button eyes. Elsa had been so much more enjoyable to make.

"Is it weird to make toys out of your school crush, and then give them to her as a Christmas present?" she asked herself, already knowing the answer. It was stupid. More than that, it was quite possibly insane, but it was too late to come up with any kind of alternative present... and she had already found the Supergirl t-shirt from Elsa.

"If I just touch you two up a little I can make you both perfect," Anna murmured before getting up and pulling her old knitting supplies out from beneath the bed. Needle in one hand and book of patterns in the other, she got to work repairing and perfecting the aged dolls.

* * *

 **A/N: Long chapter. I'm hoping once I am past these couple of chapters I can start writing slightly shorter ones again.**

 **I was aiming to have this one out a bit earlier, but I'm late as usual. The next chapter is set during Christmas Day so the original plan was to publish it on Christmas Day, but what with how busy my life has been recently I can't guarantee I'll be able to finish it on time. I'll see how it goes.  
**

 **Thank you FlyOnTheWall14 for your feedback on this chapter :D  
**


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